I tried to write something different, but...

[M_K_Babalon]

I'll give you this one sincere response before I peace out.

There are more than a few books you can read that explain proper English grammar, and many others that give advice about writing.

"Dreyer's English" https://www.amazon.com/Dreyers-English-Utterly-Correct-Clarity/dp/0812995708 is a good one for grammar and punctuation. Though if you want really basic, find Funk and Wagnall's, or something like The Chicago Manual of Style.

"On Writing" by Stephen King is also often mentioned as helpful.

In other words, however obsessive your tendencies may be, there are ways to get actual advice.

And if you're making these threads as some kind of cry for attention, then I hope you realize that the shtick is played out, and all you'll get is scorn. Personally, I'm going to go back to ignoring you.

Oh, and word to the wise, if you decide to wait a few months and try this again: trying to explain your distaste for contractions by writing two short sentences containing three of them calls into question the whole premise of your thread.

I already gave this chucklefuck three links to help with the arduous, insurmountable task of writing.

 

[M_K_Babalon]

 

[gunhilltrain]

This is not an acceptable response, under any circumstances. You should delete this yourself. It's not funny and it's not something to try to make funny.

I admit, I went too far with that. I wasn't in a good mood this morning, and in five years years I've never said anything like that on here. Although oddly, John himself didn't seem offended. In any case, I'm deleting the posts.

 

[gunhilltrain]

@gunhilltrain

Could we perhaps not give detailed exhortations to suicide? (or indeed any other kind)

I understand your annoyance with the OP, believe me, but that still doesn't justify it.

I went too far. I deleted the two posts in question.

 

[gunhilltrain]

This is not an acceptable response, under any circumstances. You should delete this yourself. It's not funny and it's not something to try to make funny.

Did you report Gunhilltrain for telling him to kill himself?

The posts are deleted. I went too far this morning. I should let other people deal with John from now on. I apologize to the other people on AH.

 

[gunhilltrain]

My guess is the thread will get locked, and maybe some posts purged. Don't assume no-one's watching.

Although @SimonDoom's response covers it better.

I dropped the posts, although they still appear on other people's responses. I fell right into the troll trap he set when he referred to his own demise.

 

[BelleCanzuto]

The posts are deleted. I went too far this morning. I should let other people deal with John from now on. I apologize to the other people on AH.

Thank you.
I appreciate your reconsidering and deleting the posts.

 

[BelleCanzuto]

I already gave this chucklefuck three links to help with the arduous, insurmountable task of writing.

I didn't think I was the first to offer actual advice. Like I wrote, I was giving them one sincere response, just for my own sanity.

 

[SimonDoom]

The posts are deleted. I went too far this morning. I should let other people deal with John from now on. I apologize to the other people on AH.

You did the right thing. I suspect we're being trolled, but if we're not and this is a real plea for help then we have to be careful. Thanks for taking the posts down.

 

[lovecraft68]

Take a bow Op because this is General Board level performance art.

The same people coming in every time to mock you...but mock themselves by continuing to bite.

Pavlov's dog interwebz style "I don't want to reply...but...but...I need those reaction scores and affirmations!

Keep up the good work. Wherever he is-and that could be in the hereafter at this point-JBJ is smiling down at you.

 

[Bramblethorn]

I went too far. I deleted the two posts in question.

Much appreciated. It seemed out of character for you.

@SimonDoom @BelleCanzuto you might consider deleting the bits you quoted from those posts.

 

[Djmac1031]

JBJ is smiling down at you.

Wait, Jon Bon Jovi is dead???

 

[SimonDoom]

Much appreciated. It seemed out of character for you.

@SimonDoom @BelleCanzuto you might consider deleting the bits you quoted from those posts.

That occurred to me too. Done.

 

[Bramblethorn]

Wait, Jon Bon Jovi is dead???

"JBJ" (I think James B. Johnson? along with several alts) was a member of the AH a few years ago. Last we heard of him, his health wasn't good and he's been quiet for several years, so at this point missing, presumed dead. Personality perhaps best described as "unwanted, dead or alive".

As far as I know, the other JBJ is still doing fine.

 

[yukonnights]

JohneSm123, I'm not interested in jumping in on any criticism of your thoughts & posts. I'm assuming you're sincere in the frustration you're dealing with. To that end, I'd offer the advice that you simply write the story you have in your imagination. Maybe it won't be perfect, but it's a start to figuring out all of the bits and pieces that makes a story work. Leave perfection for another day — a day farther down the road.

FWIW, I'd also suggest that you don't intentionally make enemies to others on the Forum. Anyway, best wishes to your quest of being an author ~ Yukonnights

 

[ElectricBlue]

"JBJ" (I think James B. Johnson? along with several alts) was a member of the AH a few years ago. Last we heard of him, his health wasn't good and he's been quiet for several years, so at this point missing, presumed dead. Personality perhaps best described as "unwanted, dead or alive".

As far as I know, the other JBJ is still doing fine.

I dunno. I had a soft spot for old Noir. He had the measure of certain chucklefucks, but they rose to the bait so damned fast (they couldn't help themselves), it was like shooting fish in a barrel.

 

[Djmac1031]

I couldn't figure out when to use contractions

On a related note:

I was trying to eat breakfast this morning but couldn't figure out what hole the food was supposed to go in.

Can someone please help me out before I starve to death?

 

[BelleCanzuto]

Much appreciated. It seemed out of character for you.

@SimonDoom @BelleCanzuto you might consider deleting the bits you quoted from those posts.

Bramble - I really appreciate you framing this as a suggestion rather than the order I got via PM from someone else.

 

[Bramblethorn]

Bramble - I really appreciate you framing this as a suggestion rather than the order I got via PM from someone else.

No worries. I didn't think either of you would need persuading on this, just wanted to make sure it was on your radar.

 

[madelinemasoch]

I honestly think that Johnsm has some unresolved personal problems beyond writing struggles. I reached out in DMs and he wouldn't work with me, accusing me of taking his idea and/or leaking them onto the forums so people could laugh at him. He's got trust issues, to put it lightly, and he may be scarred by this unforgiving world. Best not to poke fun at someone like that, but that's just my opinion.

 

[M_K_Babalon]

Like John would be man enough to do it, anyway. He's probably beating his meat like; "mmm tell me I am worthless."

 

[JohnSm123]

Advice: get an editor/author to write and edit it for you. That's what most authors who can't write and edit their own stories do(ie. get a rough draft going, then someone else cleans it up for them). The only thing is find an author that can fit the writing style you're going for.

I can't afford an editor. So my attempts end here.

 

[JohnSm123]

Take a bow Op because this is General Board level performance art.

The same people coming in every time to mock you...but mock themselves by continuing to bite.

Pavlov's dog interwebz style "I don't want to reply...but...but...I need those reaction scores and affirmations!

Keep up the good work. Wherever he is-and that could be in the hereafter at this point-JBJ is smiling down at you.

Prove to me there is a heareafter.

 

[Jmanchu]

I can't afford an editor. So my attempts end here.

Editor's forum, my friend. It's free, but it might take a while before you get a response. Unless you're looking to publish officially? Then good luck with that. I honestly think you're not serious about this, but I'll give you one more piece of advice: You make a lot more posts crying about what you feel can't do than trying. If you put half that energy you put into complaining here as you would writing then you might have a finished manuscript. If you're looking to publish HERE, remember that most stories here aren't masterpieces, nor are most authors here masters of their crafts by any means. Most people here are just hobbyists(like me). No story is perfect, even the best plots may have holes in them. And unless you are an absolute historical buff, then your stories won't be the most historically accurate with all the nice little details portraying the lifestyle. I'd try to write your fantasy in a way that would be something you can do with your current skills and knowledge. And study.

Also, don't worry about semi-colons, or colons. Unless there's a reason you can see to use them(like to help organize your sentences better) then all you need is commas and periods. Grammar is there just to make sure your writing is organized and readable, it is not divine decree to use every possible grammar. Nor is grammar universal as you'd think. Aside from commas, periods, making sure you have a complete thought for each sentence, organizing paragraphs, capitalization where needed, and spelling, grammar isn't universal and can be different depending on the writer. You mentioned some authors that use semi-colons before. Some use semi-colons(like Tolkien), some don't. Some say semi-colons are ugly to use and avoid them completely like it's bad grammar to use them. You worry about things that you shouldn't worry about.

Also, I'd avoid making posts joking about incest pedo 7-year-old daughter-father rape as a way to get banned. There are far less self-destructive ways to troll or cause mischief. That's just not a good look for you. Really not good look for you to joke about.

These are my last pieces of advice for you. Good luck.

 

[Bramblethorn]

Editor's forum, my friend. It's free, but it might take a while before you get a response.

But: only if he's actually committed to posting the story. Don't jerk a volunteer editor around and waste their time if he's just going to pull some "but then I gave up because I couldn't decide what font to use, I'll never be an author" excuse for burying yet another story.

Some say semi-colons are ugly to use and avoid them completely like it's bad grammar to use them.

And most of those folk still have a sneaky semicolon here and there, even as they're telling the rest of us not to use them.