If I knew then...

[Keroin]

The fairy tale part of me that can wave a magic wand and make anything happen says I'd have applied to more colleges, had a hell of a lot more sex (which at 19 I hadn't had yet), I would have been much much braver, I would not have gotten married, and I probably wouldn't have had children. I'd have figured out a way to finish college and spent the rest life playing with art and history and seeing how much I could accomplish...

Nothing wrong with fairytales.

Of course, we all know that any path we choose in our lives would still leave us with some regrets. Chances are, if you had taken that course, you would now be writing, "Well, if I had a magic wand, I would wish that I hadn't had so much sex when I was young, that my life wasn't so focused on art and history, that maybe I would have even skipped college, gotten married and had a house full of children."

(Or not...)

I do think the world might be better if we lived our lives backward or something WITH the wisdom and knowledge we gain throughout our lives. Yep.

FF

A world full of Benjamin Buttons? Well, hospital nurseries and old folks homes would sure have to be redesigned!

But if everyone here is happy with how their life is now why would you go back and change things, knowing it could potentially change the way things are and you'd perhaps not enjoy your life?

For me, it's not so much that I'd want to undo everything that brought me to this place. More so, it would be about getting more out of those younger years before I got to this place. What's that line? "Youth is wasted on the young."

And on a global scale, could we avoid more conflict and strife? Over the decades, how many soldiers went to war with no idea of the horrors they would face or the scars they would bear for a lifetime? If they had that knowledge when they were young, would they willingly go to war again?

It would be interesting to see what marks others would give their current life...

I'd give mine a 9.98

.01 would be the fact that I currently have no pets and will likely not have a pet for at least another year.
.01 would be for my past injuries that keep me from doing some of the physical things I'd like to do.

Other than that..***** rocks!

I really don't think much differently than I did then was more my point. I've always been a planner, always calculate every move I make, and don't make a decision lightly.

Ah, gotcha.

I didn't want to presure of deciding what I was going to do for the rest of my life and spend 4 years and tons of money and only part of it being relevant to what I need to learn to do what I want to do, and then decide it's not what I want to do. And I keep putting off getting a degree of some sort because I really don't see the need for it, though I'll tell people I'm just too busy. So I wouldn't.

College and university are great for the people who want that path. I think you are wise to abstain if you don't have the burning desire. I have nothing against higher education but it is expensive and it by no means guarantees success, money or happiness. It seems to me that you wanted to further your education, you would be better off going to an arts institution with some kind of textiles design program, like my niece did. (Which she LOVED, by the way - her goal is to become a costume designer).

That yes I was hurt by my divorce, but in trying to protect myself from getting hurt after, I paid a higher price by cutting myself off from potential relationships.

Someone once told me, "People think the way to protect themselves from the hurt others cause is to close themselves off, to put up walls, but that doesn't work and usually keeps the good people out. The way to keep others from hurting you is to make yourself completely open, so that the bad ones just 'pass through'". I liked that.

There's a lot more.

There always is.

The world needs recklessness. Because a reckless person can make a massive change that cautious people would never be able to achieve.

The world also needs wisdom. Because a wise person will make sure the change sticks, and that the reckless person didn't throw it all away for nothing.

Yeah, it's a balance thing I guess.

Darn it all.

Would the world be better if we all could do it?
Same. But who would actually make the painful experiences one can learn from, if all could go back and make them undone?
Paradox ...

Sure, be logical. Pfft.

I wish I had have had some forwarning that I'd spend a chunk of my twenties in that relationship though, and in a depressive, anxious funk. I would have made better use of the times I *was* doing ok.

So do you now work at making the best of good moments now because of that? Not that I am suggesting you're in a depressive anxious funk, just that I know I have learned to savour the good times a LOT more than I used to.

Your right, everything has made you who you are and if there is anything that you wish you had done in the past, YOU CAN STILL DO! Why don't you study archaeology or physics now? You might have to juggle a couple of things in your life but your only here once and if there is something you want to do, then just do it.

The woman speaks wisely.

$29.95 buys your silence? That's cheap.

Really? In that case I also want...um...a jet pack!

 

[Keroin]

If I was as bitter as I am now, I'd have hung myself at the ripe age of 8!

Wow, you so don't come across as "bitter" to me.

 

[subwannabe]

I think it all depends on where you are now. If you're happy then the events that shaped your current life needed to happen. This has definetly been the case with me. If you are unhappy and felt your life was better several years ago then obviously you've made some choices where you would probably have been better off if things had happened differently.

 

[Skorpion49]

Innocence

"I need someone to believe in, someone to trust" (Peter Gabriel, I think.)
There is a very thin line between wisdom and cynicism. The world needs the innocence of youth, those who dare, and challenge, and have nothing to lose. An old head on a young body? Opportunities would be wasted. There is no substitute for experience, and no substitute for youth. Enjoy them both while you can.

 

[DVS]

...Really? In that case I also want...um...a jet pack!

No problem. Done. Interesting...the price was $29.95. How'd you know? http://lh3.googleusercontent.com/public/bDfKiK6JU5e2m0BOHdMeTGNkkDGgNW4Ikv_yB7jy8jyYyS6Pjm6NMwb56ChCrbwYZSsbzBoIxDMrnJeZgg3Mv69vdCgkbaeS3KNeXwTj_MNHF2AtBT93u-OTvHrUSb6P2L2KGRx-5DHnsNCKlJ7Fj3NPvgyv_aPLJ4PhCw-f-9cwOVkVMiqF_GvWL9y1bNQ

 

[Tilia_Fondi]

And on a global scale, could we avoid more conflict and strife? Over the decades, how many soldiers went to war with no idea of the horrors they would face or the scars they would bear for a lifetime? If they had that knowledge when they were young, would they willingly go to war again?

I definitely think that most people would go back with the idea of changing things for the better, but there are still the same few nutcases out there that, given the change to go back, would use the power of knowledge to make things worse, win lost wars etc.

 

[Tilia_Fondi]

Although I have said that I wouldn't want to go back and change things as it might change the present, given the opportunity I would go back just to have even more fun times if I knew things would still work out the same way.

And thats the question... would things still have been destined to turn out the same way if I had taken a different route in life (some may call it fate) or can you change your path in life for the better by the choices you make.

Personally I say the latter.

 

[YourCaptor]

Old people aren’t that great, if they were the world would be a much better place.

When is the last time you heard of an old people doing something great?

Hindsight is not wisdom.

On a fun note, if I knew about future events back then. I’d threaten my folks with emancipation if they didn’t send me to that better high school. I’d buy all kinds of shit, and void the contract when I’m done with it. At birth I’d buy some bonds. In first grade I would have made more effort to kiss that chick before she hit a tree got glasses and wasn’t that cute anymore. In fifth grade that crazy girls craziness would not have deterred me.

 

[Cattypuss]

And yet, I think of how much more I could have accomplished with the kind of wisdom gained only through experience. A 40, 50, 60, 70 year old mind in a 19 year old body?? Yowza!

As GBS said, "youth is wasted on the young"

 

[Skorpion49]

Regrets, I've had a few...but then again...

How many roads must a man (or woman - thank you Eric Idle) walk down? (His Bobness)
History will teach us nothing (Sting)
When you die, will you regret the things you did, or the things you didn't? (Fill in the blanks)

 

[Skorpion49]

Life

As GBS said, "youth is wasted on the young"

And life is wasted on the living....

 

[DVS]

Oh! I remember something that fits this thread.

If I had known then, what I know now, I would have purchased gold, back in the 70s, when it was $300 an ounce. Actually, I pretty much knew it would only go up. That's just a fact of most things. The problem is, I had no money in the bank and because of my age, I had no credit, so getting a loan to purchase gold was not possible.

In 1974, I had a chance to buy and actually test drove a 1968 Porsche 912 for $2,000, except this one was white. It was a nice car but as I stated above, no money in the bank and no credit, I couldn't buy it.

I tried to get my dad to co-sign, but he wouldn't even think about it. Later, I could have sold it, paid him back, doubled my money and had a great time driving it, in the mean time. Man, did it ever drive nice. Shit just never goes my way.

 

[DVS]

As GBS said, "youth is wasted on the young"

This was somewhat true, in my case. While I feel I lived life to the fullest when I was young, now that I'm older, of course I don't think I appreciated it as much as I could have. Life was different back then, and I know I enjoyed it. Thinking back with the knowledge I have from a lifetime of living, I might have done some things differently, but would it have been any better? Hind sight is 20/20 but also viewed through rose colored glasses (and bifocals).

 

[Kojote]

Your right, everything has made you who you are and if there is anything that you wish you had done in the past, YOU CAN STILL DO! Why don't you study archaeology or physics now? You might have to juggle a couple of things in your life but your only here once and if there is something you want to do, then just do it. We are so lucky in the developed world to have opportunities to do these kinds of things.

Actually I'm thinking about, but it has to wait.
The next years will still be devoted to my own small business and I love it that way. It is the job I searched for and I'm perfectly happy with it. And it actually starts to pay off slowly ...
Studying and writing are two things I'd like to do later. And if that doesn't change I will.

But in fact you got an important point:
When I was young I didn't actually now what I want and I wanted lots of things that didn't work out well.
Finding a job I love could be seen as some kind of reward.
Same for the ten years of relationship that start to change these days and even get better.

Conclusion is one thing, but maybe it's important to live some things through.

Sure, be logical. Pfft.

Lalala ...

 

[Kojote]

Of course, we all know that any path we choose in our lives would still leave us with some regrets. Chances are, if you had taken that course, you would now be writing, "Well, if I had a magic wand, I would wish that I hadn't had so much sex when I was young, that my life wasn't so focused on art and history, that maybe I would have even skipped college, gotten married and had a house full of children."

(Or not...)

Now this is something to think about, too.
If I had stayed at school and later started studying I wouldn't have been in the Navy for 4 years and maybe I wouldn't have gotten in those 'personal economic difficulties' afterwards.
I wouldn't have lived on the streets for some time and the general course of my life likely would have been another.
Even if I would know the conclusions I came to when I had the precious time to think things over ... Would I be able to understand them?

The time as a complete deadbeat was actually one of the most important times in my life.
I learned a lot of things about friendship, the importance of money and why I disdain the whole concept and myself.
But much of the conclusions came through the actual experience and manifested only years later consciously.

I would have been better off without it and would have started to get everything together earlier, but maybe I wouldn’t understand the lessons I’ remember from this life I never lived when I could go back with the experiences.
Most other people don’t understand for they didn’t have the time to sort things out the way I had. So how could I?

I think it’s every single small step you take in life which leads to what you are today.
And I think especially the pain and hardships teach the most important lessons.
I understand (of course) that some people experience things they never get over and this people would deserve the chance to ‘get undone’ the experiences in question.
But for me it’s as good as I deserve the way it is.

For me, it's not so much that I'd want to undo everything that brought me to this place. More so, it would be about getting more out of those younger years before I got to this place. What's that line? "Youth is wasted on the young."

I'd give mine a 9.98

.01 would be the fact that I currently have no pets and will likely not have a pet for at least another year.
.01 would be for my past injuries that keep me from doing some of the physical things I'd like to do.

Other than that..***** rocks!

You want the full 10 then?
You're greeeeeedy ...

 

[midwestyankee]

If I could change anything, I think I would somehow arrange things so that I had to work harder for some of my early achievements. I got into a bad habit of de-valuing my achievements because they came so easily and that little habit still plagues me. It makes it hard for me to take pleasure in doing certain things well, even when I recognize that I've done them to a very high level. I doubt if this change would have changed much about the course of my life, but I might have enjoyed more of the journey than I have.

 

[Keroin]

You want the full 10 then?
You're greeeeeedy ...

No, I want an 11, actually. Yup, I'm greedy.

If I could change anything, I think I would somehow arrange things so that I had to work harder for some of my early achievements. I got into a bad habit of de-valuing my achievements because they came so easily and that little habit still plagues me. It makes it hard for me to take pleasure in doing certain things well, even when I recognize that I've done them to a very high level. I doubt if this change would have changed much about the course of my life, but I might have enjoyed more of the journey than I have.

That's an interesting one, and not something I would have expected from you Yanks.

 

[Kojote]

No, I want an 11, actually. Yup, I'm greedy.

At least you admit ...

 

[Lizzie_Borden]

So do you now work at making the best of good moments now because of that? Not that I am suggesting you're in a depressive anxious funk, just that I know I have learned to savour the good times a LOT more than I used to.

I do. I have some longer term projects, like my heath and fitness, but I'm also taking the time to visit my family more, to see friends more, go to the beach and walk in the sand if it's a sunny day, and I'm slowly introducing new experiences and stuff, like league bowling.

I do feel like I wasted a lot of time and opportunities, but I'm not going to hate on myself for it. It's onward and upward.

And I'm having far less bad moments.

 

[Curious_in_Cali]

What I know now that I wish I knew then:

1) It's okay to be a feminist and sexually submissive;

2) Student loans take a lllllloooooonnnnnggggg time to pay off, so pick a career you love, not just like (I didn't ); and

3) It really is okay to leave a relationship when it clearly hasn't worked for a long while (after trying your best of course) regardless of any "vow" you took.

re 1) I like this one, and agree. I have to add that being raised around angry man hating/controlling feminists, it is okay to be soft, nurturing, feminine and love men for being men. (Disclaimer, I deeply respect the women who fight for the rights of women and treasure a few as close friends, but get irked when women have to hate men to feel they can progress...)

re 3) This is also true for me...profoundly so. In the end all I really lost was a decade of time...claiming that moment of "that was my very best effort & I am done now" should have come much much sooner. Loyalty to yourself and your own well being trumps loyalty to another when they wallow and flail about in self destructive behaviours.

That I wish I would have REALLY understood what I was sexually craving...what it was called and how to find it BEFORE I got married to a nice guy who had the sexual prowess and creativity of a teddy bear.

 

[where]

If I knew 25 years ago that I would still be with the same person, then I probably wouldn't have had an abortion.

I might have also decided to home educate my kids.

Otherwise, I'd change nothing.

 

[Curious_in_Cali]

Old people aren’t that great, if they were the world would be a much better place.

When is the last time you heard of an old people doing something great?

I just saw this old guy and thought he was pretty great...and there is no way he could move like that as a youth...that kind of skill takes years "ripen".


http://www.todaysbigthing.com/2011/02/28

 

[rida]

So, if you could go back and do it all again with the knowledge and experience you have now, would your life be better? Would the world be better if we could all do it?

What do you know now that you wish you'd known then?

I don't think I really know more now than then. I simply had the time for experiences to prove my knowledge right or wrong.

So there is only few things I would do differently if I could go back: I would have gone ahead with the MFF casual 3some I found myself in and I would have gone ahead and had sex with a few more guys I had a crush on in college, and actively opened up my marriage earlier.

Would my life be better? probably only marginally, so I don't have any particular regret (maybe one guy or two ... ). (The life of the guys I would have fucked, perhaps might have been better )

Would the world be better off if everybody could go back and get a do-over?
No idea, but I wonder if it would not end up in a wash and everything remaining the same.

 

[BiaTcHiNFiRe]

A conversation with a friend, recently, brought this question to mind: "If we could have all the knowledge we gain in old(er) age, in our youth, would the world be a better place?"

I'm tempted to say yes but then I also believe there's something to be said for that youthful ignorance that makes us leap out and attempt the impossible. Great things have been accomplished by people who just weren't smart enough to know they couldn't be done.

And yet...

And yet, I think of how much more I could have accomplished with the kind of wisdom gained only through experience. A 40, 50, 60, 70 year old mind in a 19 year old body?? Yowza!

Not to mention all the heartache that could have been avoided.

So, if you could go back and do it all again with the knowledge and experience you have now, would your life be better? Would the world be better if we could all do it?

What do you know now that you wish you'd known then?

I would definitely NOT take the bloody loans that I took in the past. Would save me of lots of tears, money and stress.

I must always learn the hard way it seems.