If You Are A Woman Uploading A Photo To A On-line Dating Service...

[Porkwarrior]

Please Do NOT Do These things if you looking for a reasonable person to get in touch with you.

Do not wear a Kid Rock Tee shirt holding up a Bud lite bottle.

Upload a picture of your LAST wedding.

Have two or three other ladies in the photo with you.

Make weird and strange faces (at least I hope that is what you were doing!

Leave the damned animals out.

Do not lead off with a picture fifteen years old. If you claim to be fifty and the picture looks to be of you at thirty five or less that is a caution light going out the gate.

Oh, there is more...

Do NOT post pictures from 2009.

Do NOT post pictures of you holding an AK-47

Do NOT post pictures with your messy ass room in the background

And of you in a BAR or other dirty dingy dive isn't a good Ideal either!

Damn, I like dog loving, rock tee wearing, AK47, beer drinking bar hopping women...where the hell are you guys finding all these hot gals and why haven't I found them yet!?!?!?!


Okay, I have to agree on the trout-pout. You're not on Jersey Shore, and I don't know why you would want to, but enough of that already!

Allow me to add

- Please don't have a pic of the wedding dress you've already bought, then say you are looking for a casual, no pressure, easy going relationship.

- Don't have "No Drama!!!!!" in your profile, and confuse me with a collection agency when I phone.

- Don't confuse "single" with "I am almost in an open relationship, I just have to ask my husband first but I'm sure he'll be okay with it"

- If you have to take a "selfie" in the bathroom, please make sure you flushed first.

 

[FGB]

What the deuce?!?

Are you sure you are on a dating website and not following some Kardashian twitter account?

I haven't been signed up 24 hours yet!

You should see the pics!

way2sxy4you 5 hours ago I believe that you, me, and a hotel room would be the perfect combination : D Lets talk and get to know each other a little better, I am open minded and I'm ready to give it a try.

needbeasts11 22 hours ago we would look good together : ) Interested?

Phoebe2Bates88 22 hours ago Hey man your picture is fly! I think me might be a good match. Maybe we could chat to get to know each other better, and take it from there? Can't wait to hear from you!

UNeedaBiscuit 22 hours ago hi how are you ... just noticed you in the new members section and decided to write since you are from Lufkin. Let me know if you want to chat a bit, I'm bored ps Do you have any photos?

 

[lovecraft68]

Fun thread

Not exactly long the line of the previous posts, but having recently tried an online dating site, let me give you guys a clue if you want to be serious.

And this is also for the ladies who want to find serious and be considered that way.

Enough with texting. Pick up the phone and call me and say Hi to me. Let me hear your voice, the inflection and emotion. You could be texting three other women at the same time, but on the phone its one on one.

Once there has been some communication, a quick text is fine and can be fun and brighten a day, but initially speak one on one like an adult if you want to be treated like one.

ladies you will get no respect if you allow all texting.

That's funny because my wife's best friend is on a site and all she gets is texting and my wife keeps saying "If he was serious he would pick up a damn phone."

 

[FGB]

That's funny because my wife's best friend is on a site and all she gets is texting and my wife keeps saying "If he was serious he would pick up a damn phone."

I would think Skype would work better...

 

[Que]

Severe cropping to enhance the cleavage and avoid the problem areas just makes it more obvious that you are not confident about your body.

It doesn't work any better than wearing black, avoiding horizontal stripes, cutting your hair short, and draping does.

Do something about that...work on your body or your self image.

 

[drinkz]

Hey NightL, whine much?

 

[NightL]

Severe cropping to enhance the cleavage and avoid the problem areas just makes it more obvious that you are not confident about your body.

It doesn't work any better than wearing black, avoiding horizontal stripes, cutting your hair short, and draping does.

Do something about that...work on your body or your self image.

How do you crop and drape your junk?

The dig is not at you query - but really to the whole thread.

Let the wrong photos just be - does anyone want to date someone trying to portray themselves as someone they are not?

 

[Aphro]

I haven't been signed up 24 hours yet!

You should see the pics!

way2sxy4you 5 hours ago I believe that you, me, and a hotel room would be the perfect combination : D Lets talk and get to know each other a little better, I am open minded and I'm ready to give it a try.

needbeasts11 22 hours ago we would look good together : ) Interested?

Phoebe2Bates88 22 hours ago Hey man your picture is fly! I think me might be a good match. Maybe we could chat to get to know each other better, and take it from there? Can't wait to hear from you!

UNeedaBiscuit 22 hours ago hi how are you ... just noticed you in the new members section and decided to write since you are from Lufkin. Let me know if you want to chat a bit, I'm bored ps Do you have any photos?

Let us know how many want your credit card number first...

 

[drinkz]

Hey NightL, whine much?

 

[Aphro]

I am suspicious of the fact that in less than 24 hours, he has women clamouring to meet him, in hotel rooms or otherwise, with no exchange of messages...it seems...improbable. I do not know this for a fact, however.

 

[drinkz]

Hey NightL, whine much?

 

[Que]

How do you crop and drape your junk?

The dig is not at you query - but really to the whole thread.

Let the wrong photos just be - does anyone want to date someone trying to portray themselves as someone they are not?

I usually drape (fully) my junk with a pair of trousers. At my waist. With a belt. And a large buckle to suggest overcompensation.

And: Oh, I quite agree...I LIKE photos that seem to be obfuscating are useful in negatively qualifying potential.

I mention the above because of course the vast majority of literoticians (with a few noteworthy exceptions) are fine human beings that would make lovely companions. I wouldn;t want any of us to accidentally get themselves sorted out of competition by someone with a discerning eye.

I think someone else pointed out that these sort of mistakes means you only get messages from the dregs that message EVERYONE.

 

[FGB]

And LORD GOD Please do not post something like THIS!

After the first senteqnce she ...goes somewhere else.


In Her Own Words
I am ordinarily a very sweet, kind and on rare occasion generous person. However, I suggest all you wanting a young and dumb or old and senile lady look else where, I got my snap, wit and gogo boots on, and the like Jouquin.Feel like everything you do is measured by time? Docked 1/4 hr for 1 min late? Time something man made up to sell you a watch. HAVING FUN, BUT GOTTA RUN ? WHY? MY WATCH SAYS IT'S TIME. How old are ya'll? An element with too many variables, physical age? socially?emotionally? Always running late? Ahead of schedule? Never On TImee?OUT OF TIME! MY WATCH SAYS IT IS TIME!!! Throw that old thing away. Do you ever dream of being some action figure? I do, no kidding. And with a little imagination I feel certian abilities aren't far beyond the horizon and you should always try to show your special abilities off, never hide your talents under a BUSH( financial burden, run down vehicles, and/or job)especially an over weight out of shape one.Living a life of all work and no reward?If you have charm, and good looks I ask "Why do you stay in an uncomfortable relatiionship? do not be unfair to yourself! Expose your SPECIAL QUALITIES. I DO." Remember my favorite quotes by Forest Gump "Mama says life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're gonna get." "Jenny why you play that guitar naked." "Lt Dan is that you ? You've got new legs!"and "I gotta PEE." As For the special lady in your life try my favorite vacaton spot, KINGTOWN USA. #1 boatramp accomodations, ice cold refreshments and everyone knows your name.Guaranteed to have romatic walks thru senic trails, moonlite dinners. Plan any day at Kingtown where everyday is a holiday. Childrens activities upon request.If you want to impress somebody you barkin up the wrong tree. I am Dirty rotten scoundral and quit workin years ago. Never learn how to share. Don't play well with others, never want to jump out of a perfectly good plane or climb mountaiins. If you like East TEXAS HEI've been called Ellie May from the Clampetts. And it wasn't in reference to my looks. I love my pets. I taught 3rd grade at the big thcket between Livingston and Woodville on the Indian reservation. So, to mention things I am most passionate about, and grateful for would be educating self and children in more than a textbook sense. Also, the most precious nuggetts of information I've acquired have come from children. I have wanted to freeze time, so I could remain in that almost "perfect"stage of my life. I'm older now and still treasure those memories. Realizing I must continue, I hope to share times as wonderful as those with someone special. I rarely get in a hurry, enjoy making plans as much as I enjoy doing what I am planning,and preparation is very important. I like spontanuity...but being prepared. Can't make sense of it all, besides don't ladies have perogative? Things are constantly changing, and I am going to make the best of what I've got with the time I've got..And honestly I am not really looking for someone, I would just like to meet someone nice with good values, can laugh when nothings going exactly as predicted, and wants to hug me to death rather that argue or fight. Oh yea, and I have been told I am perfect,but that's just for the !st few days. I've had days with plenty of money and longer periods of fime wih little or no money. Some days if feel like I look like a goddess and others I feel as tough I could not look worse. They passed the same. I can't make you happy or mad. You can't make me happy or mad. I just wanna have a good time. My favorite vacation resort is Kingtown, USA where everybody is friendly and refreshments are served regularly. For the pefect vacation with excellnce, #1 boatramp accomodations and ice cold refreshments. To impress the lady in your life this Mother's Day. GO TO KINGTOWN

 

[Hypoxia]

And LORD GOD Please do not post something like THIS!

What, this doesn't get you hot?

 

[Doog_kuron]

I have to confess in the past I have tried dating sites, big ones too and generally I got a steady flow of interested women, which was nice. There was this one girl though I sort of clicked with and we ended up meeting up. It went really well, she was keen to meet up again, even moved the next meet up forward so she could see me sooner. I was a little surprised at her enthusiasm but looked forward to it. Then, just out the blue she sent me a message saying she wasn't interested. I was dumb founded by this sudden 180 but politely replied that it was fine and good luck. THEN she sent me another email saying how hard it had been for her to walk away, how she was in tears over it and wanted to just be friends.

Yeah, I walked as quickly in the opposite direction as I could. I've had similar experiences with women along similar lines over recent years. It's to say the least baffling. I can only conclude that women are crazy or I have some crazy stalker scaring away interested parties!

 

[L8tnIt]

did you know...?

The recent issue of Glamour magazine has an article or two on this very topic.

 

[FGB]

What, this doesn't get you hot?

The picture was of a very fuckable brunette in her mid thirties.

But DAMN! If you ever went out with a space cadet that was tuned in on the cosmic frequency...well, you would NOT be eager to do it a second time.

Like Tarzan said. "Tarzan horny...Tarzan not THAT horny!"

 

[Hypoxia]

But DAMN! If you ever went out with a space cadet that was tuned in on the cosmic frequency...well, you would NOT be eager to do it a second time.

Actually, that text is pretty much like letters from my little sister -- when she's drunk and on painkillers.

BRAINFLASH! Computer user need a new peripheral device, to gently probe one's body for a blood sample and report on the user's chemistry. Anyone on a dating site, or certain other social media (like these forums), must present a current blood toxicology status report. It should also do DNA matching, to validate the report. Then we'll all have a better idea of whom we're propositioning.

 

[FGB]

And another thing!

If you are fucking stop traffic beautiful WITH your clothes on...Put a fucking picture on the profile!

I was drinking a cup of Hot chocolate when I clicked on that E-mail attachment

So what did I see you ask? Besides Hot chocolate on my screen...and balls?

I was expecting quite a bit less fuckable for sure!

Full frontal, 34yrs old Latino, naked... 8-1/2-9 on the erection scale and wearing nothing but a smile!

Wanted to know if I had any luck there.

intriguing for sure.

 

[WomanInProgress]

Realistically, doesn't it makes things much more effective for you if "potential" matches post pics you don't like and/or word their profiles in a way you find foolish? Saves you a lot of time as it severely speeds up the weeding out process, no?

 

[NightL]

FGB, it has been over a month since you signed up to the dating site. How many dates have you had so far via that site? The actual face to face ones.

How many hours have you spent looking over messages and profiles. (Intended not to be a question)

While your divorce issues have been ongoing/progressing I am sure the online dating site has been a welcome distraction, but has it actually distracted you from getting out of the house and meeting people in traditional areas?

As already mentioned here, many dating sites will use any number of techniques to lure people in and their credit card payments. Many profiles will also be bogus, purely spam back linking for other websites, as I suspect your Kingtown boatramp accommodation quote was all about and just false leads to keep you engaged or for the amusement of the teenagers who set it up.

If you spend up to five hours a week looking over the site and answering potentially false messages from false profiles, try instead to spend five hours a week socialising in traditional areas away from your computer.

Try pushing yourself out in to new areas of face to face socialising that you have never tried before. Interest and activity groups, striking up conversations with complete strangers in environments that appeal to you - art gallery, museum, gym, sporting events - whatever they may be. You may not get a date out of it quickly, but you may very well broaden your circle of friends and develop new interests that could be a hell of a lot more rewarding than chasing false leads on a dating site.

Have you worked out yet what is lacking for yourself currently? Relationship, friendships, just sex, affection? Defining that may help put the right signal out to the right people. Meaning "he is going through a divorce and looking for a rebound relationship" may get completely different results than "he is going through a divorce and wants some simple fun and enjoyment out of life, he is not looking for a relationship at this stage".

So, how do women perceive you at the moment? Are you comfortable with that perception?

All the best for the future.

 

[Hypoxia]

If you spend up to five hours a week looking over the site and answering potentially false messages from false profiles, try instead to spend five hours a week socialising in traditional areas away from your computer.

Try pushing yourself out in to new areas of face to face socialising that you have never tried before. Interest and activity groups, striking up conversations with complete strangers in environments that appeal to you - art gallery, museum, gym, sporting events - whatever they may be. You may not get a date out of it quickly, but you may very well broaden your circle of friends and develop new interests that could be a hell of a lot more rewarding than chasing false leads on a dating site.

One friend of mine found their lifelong partner online, and have been together for almost 20 years now -- they met on an interest-group forum, not a dating service. Both geeks, too.

I prefer in-person contacts. Church / temple groups; hiking & biking clubs; taking & giving classes; music & art & nature festivals (especially those with camping); I have found lovers via all these. Friends of mine have made connexions with local theatre and improv groups, and glee clubs and community choruses, and historical re-enactment groups. Where there's a group, there's hope.

Think of something in which both you and potential partners have an interest. Maybe it's some sort of political-religious-social activism, or recreation, or exploration, or creative endeavor, or silly horseshit -- doesn't matter. Whatever it is, go to where its people are, and press the flesh. Put yourself in a situation where you touch people as you interact with them. Get in close contact.

Or, FGB, you can continue with your vicarious experiences. Your call.

 

[FGB]

I appreciate the pennies NightL, however there is a method to my madness.

In a few weeks I am escorting a certain Brunette to another state to help a mutual friend move back to East Texas.

A date when I am divorced is already agreed on. I have known her for many years and unless she has radically changed, I think I might like something more ... NO not that! I'm not a complete fool and neither is she and we live about fifty miles apart. I might not have a a girlfriend by the time we get back but that date will be some kind of interesting.

It has been said that I can charm the clothes off of a Nun when I put my mind to it...as for me I think the Nun would have to be in the mood anyway.

I was at the point of meeting a Lady here at Lit. well, making arrangements anyway when she vanished...as she started the encounter I am puzzled as to her motives.

But,all in the fullness of time...

 

[pgfcedarlane]

I wrote a response on what guys should do then realized this was focused on women exclusively. Whoops! Way too tired.

 

[NightL]

I wrote a response on what guys should do then realized this was focused on women exclusively. Whoops! Way too tired.

Not my thread, but I see it as appropriate here as anywhere else. Post away.