In The Darkness... [closed]

[The_gladiator]

“At the worst,” Ettrian said softly as she paused in her pacing to ask the question. It was a worst case, but one he did not want to see. He lifted an eyebrow at her mention of being virginal, of not having experienced desire. Surely, she experienced self-love, didn’t everyone? He opened his mouth to ask her just that, and then closed it again, the moment for that had passed.

Ettrian had not planned on leaving after Osran’s words of censure, but it was still a bit surprising that she had told him that he needed to stay to explain to her everything. She almost seemed like she was asking him for his help.

“Now that you have accepted my protection, I will not leave your side unless death parts us.” The monk said. Ettrian clenched his fists in the sleeves of his robes where no one could see them. He felt his fingernails bite into his palms. Not enough to draw blood, but enough for him to feel the pain, to use it to ground himself. The monk’s words were not meant to be biting in that moment to Ettrian, but with all the memories so close to the surface they were.

Ettrian realized that the two were looking to him and he cleared his throat and spoke. “Yes, I will stay. I mean I will not watch while you lay with another like the monks do, but I will be here to explain and advise and take care of you as best as I can.” It seemed that though he had better control over himself now that he still could not resist a jab at the monk’s order.

Ettrian rose. His hands came from his sleeves as he steps closer to Roisin. He reached out to take her hands squatting down before her, in a move that seemed comfortable to him. It was distinctively different than kneeling before her. He let his thumbs slide over the backs of her hands. There was a part of him that remembered her as a little girl and wished to take her into his arms to comfort her. There was also the part of him that saw her in the corset, saw her as a woman that was very desirable. However, his touch was meant to impart simple comfort, as well as get a read on what was happening inside her, and when would it start.

“If I could spare you this I would have. Unfortunately, whether I destroyed the tablets now or you stopped taking them later, there is no weaning off of the berries. There is no gradual process for this. Either way you would be experiencing this.

“Would it not have been better for her to establish her rule first and then go through this?”

“Not really,” Ettrian spoke to Roisin, green eyes never leaving hers not looking to Osran. “If you are sick now people can think it grief. Osran and I can assist you, tell others that you do not wish disturbed, relay your orders. Not that I am a flunky, but for this I am willing to assist you. I would recommend you come away to my home to be safe to experience this in peace, but I don’t trust the others to take over while you’re gone. “He let a flow of his magic pass into her hands, intent on soothing her nerves. The compassionate nature of the elf seemed to have been triggered, getting through some of the prickle pride and defensiveness.

 

[SandS13]

“Now that you have accepted my protection, I will not leave your side unless death parts us.”

Roisin looked up at Osran’s words. Something about them made her feel strange. She had not considered such...commitment. She tore her eyes away from the dark skinned monk and looked at Ettrian.

“Yes, I will stay. I mean I will not watch while you lay with another like the monks do, but I will be here to explain and advise and take care of you as best as I can.”

Roisin’s mouth opened as if to say...something to the comment but nothing came. She did not plan to lay with someone. All this talk of desire and being aroused and now to hear him talk of her being with someone and Osran...watching… Her cheeks warmed a little and a strange feeling came over her. She reasoned it was likely fear of the unknown and pushed it aside as Ettrian came to her.

She straightened up a little, unsure what he was doing as he squatted down and took her hands. Comfort was not something she was familiar with so his touch confused her. This was not a place of understanding, of caring. And yet...she had a strange sense of dejavu. Roisin blinked a few times. The feeling was gone.

She exhaled, breath shaky in her chest. She didn’t feel ready for any of this. Not to rule, not to suffer whatever was about to happen. Roisn nodded. “We will tell them I am ill and there is a great deal I need to learn about the kingdom, a great deal of reading. If I am away from here you are right someone will take over. I need to stay and I cannot appear weak.”

Her strange eyes with their swirl of blue and white, flecks of brown widened as she felt the magic move over her hands. She almost pulled away. She had learned young to never let her father touch her, never let him use magic on her. She had been warned over and over again from her mother it was like the tablets. Was her whole life built on the fear of what she truly was? Had her mother been afraid of her? The thought rattled Roisin. She pulled her hands away as gently as she could manage.

“I do not sleep much so I welcome one of you to take my bed. I will rest, when I can on the couch. What should I do to prepare? I assume that when I do not take the tablet in the morning I will start to feel the withdrawal…” She looked at the men.

Osran cleared his throat. “It depends entirely on how strong your innate magic is. If you are at all comparable to your father it may begin as early as tonight when the magic tries seep out, no longer stifled. I cannot say for certain but Ettrian will be able to feel your energy, you magic. As he said, he could feel it in you even when no one else could. His ability is stronger than any other, including your father. I have everything I need here.” He pointed to a sack he had placed near the door. “I will be staying here from this moment on.”

Until death… Roisin reminded herself. His vow made her feel...something but she couldn’t find the words. Emotions were not welcome here and she once more pushed it aside to focus on what needed to get done.

Her eyes moved to Ettrian again. “How long do I have?” She assumed her ability, whatever might be in her would be minimal at best. “It cannot be so strong that a simple tablet of berries can hold it down so perhaps that gives me until tomorrow at this time?”

Osran stiffened a little and looked to Ettrian. The poor girl seemed to have no idea what she was. Even he did not know for certain but he was certain that if Ettrian had been willing to train her she had no minor ability. He wished he had a tablet so he could figure out the dosage, just to know what they might be dealing with. He realized he should have gotten the specifics from the kitchen. He made a mental note to do so.

 

[The_gladiator]

Ettrian listened to Osran’s explanation. “She will make it through the night, if one dose wasn’t enough to make it to the next dose, she would have had to take them more often, so she will see no effects until after breakfast tomorrow. My guess is that you have been taught from a young age to eat on a schedule, sunrise, when the sun is at its peak, and when the sun sets. I am also guessing that you have taken a stronger dose at night, either two tablets or a larger tablet in the evening to make sure your power did not surface in the middle of the night.”

He did not fight her as she pulled her hands free. He rose and moved back to the sofa. “You should sleep in your bed my lady. Elves do not sleep as you do, I can go into reverie as easily sitting as laying down. Let me guess If Osran Sleeps he has a bedroll that he will lay across your front door.” At Osran’s sharp nod the monk confirmed Ettrian’s words.

“As to her power,” Ettrian said after a long moment. “If I can sense it through the berries, her gift is strong. She would be worth my time as an instructor.”

“It is said that you did not even find Conrad worthy of instruction.”

“Conrad did not believe he had anything to learn. However, learn from me he tried, and when I refused to teach him certain dark arts, he investigated them on his own, thus ending his own life.” Osran looked skeptical but made no move to argue with Ettrian’s summation.

“So, she misses a dose in the morning, then what.”

“I do not know exactly. I think we will have to deal with the withdrawal before we deal with the unlocking of her powers. It will not be like opening a floodgate, she may experience the quirks that children do at first, or it could come out at once. It might take some sort of emotional trigger to get her power to manifest. However, those are questions for another day, let us get her through the sickness first.”

 

[SandS13]

She would be fine until tomorrow. There was some relief in that. She wanted to get through the night, sort her thoughts before whatever was going to happen, happened.

“Yes, I eat on a fairly regimented schedule. My body does not process food well, hence the tablets. And it came with a schedule. Or so I have always been told.” There was a hint of bitterness in her tone now. While her mother was not the most loving she had never imagined her doing something like this. A part of Roisin understood. She was trying to protect her but she was also very angry that she had grown up fearing for her health.

The conversation turned to talk of her power. Roisin still didn’t believe that she had any but they did and Ettrian was speaking as if it was significant. Somehow, that terrified her more than the thoughts of the withdrawal. They talked of her father. Yes, he was arrogant, cocky and Roisin believed Ettrian’s assertion that Conrad did not think he had anything to learn. He felt he knew best in all things. She said nothing about his death. There was time to broach that subject later.

“It sounds like I have one more evening of peace before we need to worry too much. On that note, I would like to retire.” Roisin stood and moved to the bedroom.

She moved into the smaller room off the bedroom and began running a hot bath. It always helped relax her. Not to sleep. Sleep was often brief for her, as if her body could not find rest but more that her mind could not.

Roisin stripped. The men were forgotten as she went about her nightly routine. A hot bath, scented with oil. She sunk into it. Her black hair looked like ink in the water around her. She closed her eyes and tried to find the feeling in her that she felt from Ettrian’s hands.

Nothing.

She put her head back and closed her eyes. A little sickness. I can handle that. My body is not weak. It was her way of trying to bolster herself. The men spoke in a way that made her worry and she was trying to calm her fears.

With her bath water growing cool, Roisin stood and dried off. She donned a black robe of soft, almost slippery material and began to brush her hair. She was blackness with pale skin. She exited and crossed to her bed, forgetting about Osran and Ettrain as she removed the robe. Naked, she slid into her bed and laid there.

The night was like every other. She laid there, got up, robe on and sat at her desk. She wrote and then read. Then back to bed to lay there. Repeat until morning. The only difference was she had to step over Osran’s bedroll and Ettrian’s presence on her sofa. This prompted another change. She kept her robe on when getting in and out of bed and made note to have a nightgown of some sort made.

Breakfast was brought for the three of them in the morning. Roisin had dressed in the bathroom, behind the closed door. She came out in a simple black dress, purple half corset at her waist. Her hair was loose and long down her back.

“I will meet with Adrian this morning. There is work to see to for the people.” She looked at them. “I have asked him to come here. I thought perhaps it best in case I show signs of withdrawal this afternoon.” Roisin sat but could not bring herself to eat. She had not eaten a single breakfast in her life that wasn’t accompanied by the tablets. The ingrained fear was deep. Her mother had made sure of that.

 

[The_gladiator]

The two men said goodnight and watched her go. Osran began to ready his bedroll, laying it out across the front door. “You have no concern of an attacker coming in through her window.”

Osran grunted. “This is a fortress, only one man at most could get through her window at a time. I trust her ability with the shorts word she keeps under her mattress to defend herself long enough for me to get to her side.”

Ettrian lifted an eyebrow. He wanted to ask the monk where he got his information from. Had he ever been in her bedroom. Was it creepy if he had? He shook his head but said nothing. Rather, he stood and moved to the water pitcher and pored a glass of water. Cupping his hands around it the cup began to glow as he heated the water in. When steam was steadily flowing from the cup, he drew a pouch from his sleaves and sprinkled some herbs into it. The aroma of Mint and Chamomile floated into the air. Sitting down on the sofa, he began to sip at the tea. They could both hear the bath. Ettrian worked to school and blank his thoughts. He should not think of her naked. Especially after what he had felt for her mother. Was it creepy to think about her in that way with how he had felt about Raellen? He didn’t know. He would do better; he would not let that blasted monk be right.

Osran rolled himself into the bedroll and let his eyelids droop. Ettrian was aware of him watching him through those hooded eyes. He could pretend to sleep but the elf knew better. He wanted to speak with the monk, wanted to rant at him for being a part of an order that so pissed him off, but he did not.

For his part, Osran watched the elf. Watched him drink his tea, the elf appeared serene, but the monk knew better, his energy vibrated off him. The monk couldn’t sense magic like Ettrian could, but he could feel the energy. Both were still awake as she came out in her robe the first time. Both discretely admired her beauty without looking like they were doing such. Ettrian tried to look like he was focused inward, contemplative. Osran feigned sleep. However, Ettrian could see the honey brown of his eyes through the slits of his eyelids, he wondered if she saw.

After the second time she got up and had gone to lay back down the monk glared at the elf. “Can’t you do anything to sooth her.”

“Many things, arcane and otherwise, and yet they would all be unwelcome.”

“What would you do.”

“Most of them the same as you would to sooth her. Massage, realigning her auras. Let us not pretend that the monks cannot do similar things that I could do with magic with touch alone.”

Osran grunted, “Touch, aligning the body’s energies using my lifeforce to realign hers.”

Ettrian nodded. “I would use magic to do the same thing.”

“Simple massage techniques would relax muscle tension.”

Ettrian nodded his agreement, “Tea might help her. Other techniques.” The word orgasm hung in the air but neither said it. It seemed like the two had shared a moment, had connected on the fact that they wanted to help Roisin but neither felt welcome to do so.

The third time she rose the elf was cross-legged hands folded in his lap, head down as he was lost in the intense meditation of elven revery. Osran appeared more genuinely asleep.

The next morning Ettrian rose, stepping over the monk. He saw himself out to dress and order her breakfast. He had washed himself up and wore a clean robe, though, it looked the same so might not be obvious.

Osran watched Roisin staring down at her food without eating. It was toast with peanut butter on it, and some fruit. “Why the peanut butter,” the Monk asked Ettrian, knowing he had picked what she would be eating.

“To my knowledge it is the only food that tastes the same coming back up as it does go down,” It was obvious that the monk was trying not to snort, yet he then thought about it and nodded. “Please eat,” Ettrian encouraged her. “It is vital that you do. If you don’t I fear that you won’t absorb enough nutrients to make it through the next few days.” There was concern in his tone.

Osran rested a hand on her shoulder. “I will fetch the seneschal for you when you have finished eating. Please eat my queen. The elf speaks truth, this time.” This drew a lifted eyebrow from Ettrian but he did not feed into the urge to fight with the monk so quickly this morning.

 

[SandS13]

She stared at the food. Ettrian’s comment only made her lose her appetite more. The idea of inevitably of bringing it back up did not make her want to put it in at all. Her eyes lifted to Ettrian but then Osran put a hand on her shoulder and Roisin jumped a little. She was not touched often. Like Ettrian and his hands yesterday the feeling of concern that came from Osran was strange and made her feel uneasy.

She tried to nod. “Wait- what do you mean this time? Do you know of a time when he has been untruthful to me?”

Roisin forgot all about her food and turned in her seat to look up at the monk. She then looked at Ettrian. “You must both promise me that we cannot have lies between us. I need to know I can trust you. My life, whatever is going to happen in these next few days relies on me trusting you and I-”

Don’t trust anyone...don’t like relying on people...am terrified that this will kill me… A whole barrage of thoughts came to mind. Roisin wasn’t even sure why it mattered to her that they were honest. Had anyone in her life ever been truthful? Her mother had been lying since the day of her birth. Those tasked with taking care of her perpetuating the lie, strengthening it. She frowned. So why did it matter to her if these men lied to her or not?

Roisin shook her head. “Nevermind. A childish notion to think those around you would be honest.” She waved a hand. “Fetch Adrian. Bring him and all the things I need to look over.”

Her eyes fell on her food once more. She picked up the toast and forced herself to take a few bites. She washed it down with a great deal of water.

 

[The_gladiator]

Osran considered Roisin, his brown eyes reflecting his contemplative nature as he seemed to be considering what he knew and how much he was able or willing to share. “The elf is steeped in secrets and mystery,” he told her, he is one of the most dangerous men alive just based on the knowledge he possesses alone, and that does not factor in the power he wields. However, I believe who the elf lies too most often to is himself. I believe that he is no less honest with you than with anyone else.”

“What sort of cryptic mumbo jumbo monk crap is that.” Ettrian snapped. “I am not dishonest to myself,” though even the elf didn’t quite sound like he believed that assertion.

“You would hide things from the queen if it served your purposes.”

“And you wouldn’t?”

“I would hide from her only the inner business of my order and perhaps personal things about myself, she should not grow overly attached to me lessed I die in the service of protecting her. Her knowing personal facts about me might allow her to develop fondness for me. Otherwise, I would not hide things from her.”

“And aren’t you just so perfect,” Ettrian muttered.

“Perfect, nay, do I lie to myself about my feelings like you, I do not.”

Ettrian turned away clasping his hands behind his back. “The queen gave you an order to fetch the seneschal, see to it,” Ettrian told Osran. It was clear that the pair were done trying to be civil again, their temporary truce had expired.

Osran seemed as if he might argue but he had offered to go so bowed his head and then rested his hand briefly on Roisin again. “I will retrieve him for you my queen.” There was the slightest emphasis on the words for you, as the monk made it subtly known that he wouldn’t take orders from Ettrian. He then took his leave. There was no longer a sign of his bedroll, the only sign that Osran had ever slept there was the sack that he had had the night before. Neatly packed and in a corner out of the way.

As the Monk left Ettrian addressed Roisin from where he stood at the window. “You will need to issue orders for Alexei and Thurgau. Adrian can pass your words on to most of the officers, however the enmity between he and the two generals is well documented. It might be best if their orders came from a different source. You or myself for example.” He turned to face her as he spoke. He watched her eat a few bites and frowned. “Please, eat more. The melon is fresh, I had some myself.” His voice grew lower, gentler, almost coaxing her to eat.

 

[SandS13]

Roisin’s face did not give away anything as Osran stated that Ettrian would hide things from her. She knew it was the truth. She gave Osran a slight nod and lifted her eyes a little to Ettrian. Still, she said nothing.

Tension was back in the air and it did little to help her desire to eat. Today was going to change everything. Once she felt the effects of the withdrawal nothing would be the same ever again. Roisin only hoped she could survive. Her long held fear of dying without the tablets was incredibly strong. Facing that was difficult.

She nodded at Osran as he left the room. Each time she took a bite she placed it down and then stared at it. Her stomach felt too tight, her mouth too dry no matter how much water she drank.

“Will I now?” Roisin half snapped at Ettrian’s words. It wasn’t that she resented him telling her the duties she needed to see to it was that she was so on edge everything out of her mouth was likely to come tinged with annoyance or anger. She did not apologize but simply inhaled and then spoke once more. “I will take care of that shortly. Best to get their orders out before I have any adverse effects. After, it is best from you since, as you say they do not agree with Adrian on many, if anything.”

Roisin looked at the melon with its wet flesh. She swallowed her saliva but that only served to turn her stomach more. She reached for the toast and took another bite followed by a gulp of water. “I am not a fan of melon.” It was a weak excuse at best.

She placed her napkin on the plate, covering the food and stood up. “I will go wash my face, excuse me.”

Roisin stood and went into the washroom off from her bedroom. She ran cold water and splashed it on her face. A cold sweat had broken out on her body. She had eaten. She had eaten and not taken the tablet for the first time in her entire life. This could be her final day or she could have several tortuous days before she died. She wanted to beg Ettrian to give her something, to help her but she didn’t. That was not how she would behave. She dried her face and brushed her hair. If she was meant to die then she would face it, not hide from it.

She entered the main room again and found servants clearing the table. She sat at her desk and began to write in a leather bound book.

“You will stay while I meet with Adrian. If at any time it appears I am weak or somehow unable to continue you must end the meeting. I will not have him see me falter. He will spread rumours and if I survive I do not wish to face a coup.”

 

[The_gladiator]

Ettrian dug deep within himself to appear serene as she snapped at him. He was not telling her what to do, just offering advice. After all was that not why he was brought in? He merely lifted one eyebrow, a silent not quite rebuke for her harsh tone. He could understand she was on edge, which is why he did no more than that, and said nothing. The eyebrow quirked at her melon comment. He had observed her eating it the other day that is why he had had it brought. Yet he still said nothing. Best to let her keep her illusions for now.

When she went to the washroom, Ettrian began to heat a cup for tea. This time not for himself but for her. He busied himself making the peppermint tea, letting the rich aroma fill the room. As she sat and began to write in the book Ettrian approached. He lay the cup on the table, and then reached for her hand winding her fingers around the cup. “Drink. On my honor it contains nothing but a tea made of peppermint. It will sooth your stomach, and the warmth will help calm your nerves.

He frowned at her orders. He had told her she could not order him about, that she had not earned that right. Yet he felt compelled to just obey, Afterall what she said was sensible and what he would have suggested himself.

He stood close to her and after a moment or two more of watching her appear uneasy he spoke up appearing uncomfortable himself all of a sudden. “I wish to help you to calm yourself so you do not appear so…offput when the seneschal arrives. Please no matter what you might think, what I do is in no way meant as a sexual advance or an invasion of your personal space.”

Before she could offer any resistance, he had placed his hands on her back. He began a gentle massage technique. His hands warmed with his magic as well, the strength of his power extending his aura into the muscles further than his mere touch could go, even though his touch appeared to be skilled as he worked his way up her spine and under her hair to the back of her neck.

 

[SandS13]

Roisin was conscious that he approached. She sat a little straighter. She could smell the mint in the air. She looked at the cup as he put it down, eyes widening a little as he took her hand and placed it around the mug.

The surprise turned into a frown and she gave a slight nod as she lifted it to her lips and blew across its surface. Roisin was aware that he still remained very near to her. She forced herself to take a drink of the tea while watching him out of the corner of her eye. It felt like something was unsaid between them. The warm, mint tea moved down her throat as she swallowed.

“Help me calm? Ho-” He was touching her. Roisin almost dropped the cup of tea. His hands were warm and on her back. She was not at all used to being touched and on instinct began to pull away. “You do not have to do that. I am fine.” Ettrian had said it was not an invasion of her personal space and while he might not see it that way she certainly did. “Please- I do not- “

Roisin found herself seemingly trapped between the table and his hands. He could not possibly understand how almost distressing this was for her. Touching was not something she was raised with. There were no loving hugs or comfort when she was ill or hurt. She seemed almost frightened of the contact. It only made her body more tense. This meant that as Ettrian worked up her back Roisin was shocked at how it felt. He seemed to be able to hit deep into the muscles and tissue up her back and neck. She released a noise...something akin to distress and yet, perhaps a hint of enjoyment.

“No, thank you- I- Oh- ow...but..” She was trying so desperately to move away from him and not give in to how her muscles were reacting.

 

[The_gladiator]

Ettrian increased his pressure, increased the flow of soothing magic flowing into her as she expressed distress. “I know this is not something you are used to, but weren’t you ever given an unpleasant tasting medication as a child. It might make you uncomfortable at first but it will help.” He gently slid her hair aside, the waves of darkest night settling to one of her shoulders. This exposed her neck, let his hands work over the soft skin of the back of her neck.

He could hear her noise, he could sense her fighting her body, distress mixed with enjoyment. He wondered if he should stop, and were Osran there he would have done so, but he knew it would help her. He pressed in gently helping to relax the knots. Since he was touching the bare skin now, his magic flowed up her spine into the pleasure centers in her brain, urging her to relax. It was not control, or he would argue it was not, but it flirted with the line of controlling her. It was for her own good he told himself.

He hummed softly as he massaged, trying to project calm and comfort her. “It’s ok. Please let me help you,” he murmured, his voice dropping into a lower octave and gentling.

 

[SandS13]

She could feel him manipulating the situation and it terrified her. Worse, she could not stop it. Worse still, in her mind anyway, her body was giving in.

The magic and the pressure increased. Roisin put her hands on the table, bracing herself. He described it as unpleasant medicine. To her it felt like her body was being tortured but the muscles seemed to respond favourably. They began to relax even as she was bordering on panic.

“Please.” An almost gasp.

He was moving her hair, his hands moving up her neck. She let out a strange sound and this only increased her unease. And then...she moaned. Whatever he and his magic hit caused it. She could feel him manipulating it, trying to calm her, to make her feel good and relaxed. Tears pricked her eyes as she couldn’t fight it. She let out a soft moan again.

Her body was trembling, mind fighting the sensation he was causing. Roisin’s head dropped forward, baring her neck more to him.

 

[The_gladiator]

Flirting with lines. That was what this was. Just such a philosophical discussion had caused his exile. Ettrian had always believed to some extent that the ends justified the means. He intended to cause her comfort and pleasure, so to him working through a certain level of her discomfort was acceptable.

It was working. Her body let out soft moans. Her tension level going down. He could not see the tears, in that moment wasn’t even looking for the signs of distress, having decided to ignore them for her own good. “That’s it, let it happen.” He murmured. “I am not here to hurt you. You have my word.”

He had leaned in closer, watched the small hairs on the back of her neck lift with his breath. He almost gave into the urge to kiss the back of her neck. Then he heard the click of the door reopening. Ettrian straightened and shifted her back into place with a sweep of one hand. “The tea should help,” he said as he took three long steps away to be at the window when Osran Opened the door.

The monk’s dark eyes took in the room, took in her clear distress level, took in the fact the elf seemed too calm, too collected. He did not allow himself to frown, he kept his expression imperturbable, yet he knew. What had the elf done. “My queen, I bring you the seneschal. Adrian is eager to discuss plans for the castle and the lands, and eager to relay your orders to your people.” Osran worked to keep his tone even, calm, with a hint of being upbeat and positive. He needed to snap Roisin out of it.

Adrian, tall and slender came in through the door, with a large sheaf of paperwork in his arms. The small table almost groaned under its weight. “I brought records my queen, I brought things to take down your letters record your orders. How may I be of service?”

As Adrian spoke, Osran stepped over to Roisin, subtly interposing himself between Ettrian and Roisin. For his part, the elf pretended not to even notice Osran’s actions, green eyes on Adrian. “Are all the papers truly needed for a simple meeting with your queen?” Ettrian asked, unable to keep the contempt out of his voice.

“I believe in being prepared good sir Elf. I am here complete at my queen’s pleasure; I live to serve.” The implication of course was that Ettrian did not, yet the Seneschal had played the game long enough to not actually say such a provoking thing aloud.

 

[SandS13]

Confusion. Roisin didn’t understand how to stop the parts that made her uncomfortable and yet could not reconcile with how good parts of it felt.

His words frightened her a little. Let it happen.. She squeezed her eyes shut and bit back another moan. Her muscles were relaxing in her neck as the ones in her legs and arms tensed. She couldn’t move. His breath was on her neck and it caused..a reaction. Hairs standing up, the strange chill that ran down her back. Roisin couldn’t say if this was good or bad. It was too strange, too new.

He pulled away and Roisin gasped, gripping the table. She looked a little like a trapped rabbit. She was breathing hard as she heard the door open and Ettrian step to the window. Roisin tried to collect herself. She sat up, back straight in her chair. Her hands folded in her lap. She was trembling.

“Thank you, Osran.” She managed to keep the tremble out of her voice. She was grateful for the way the elf and Adrian bantered. It gave her another moment to compose herself.

“Enough. Adrian sit please. I have a few things to go over and I need you to go through all the things that need to be seen to. I do not know what my father left undone and wish to address things quickly.”

She turned to Ettrian, eyes smoldering a little. She was scared, annoyed...and something else that she could not explain. She was very aware on how Osran was keeping himself between her and Ettrian. He knew something was off. She was grateful for his presence though she did not seek comfort there. She had work to do.

She and Adrian went through matters of state. The current money owing, funds coming in, food supplies, letters that she would have to read. She took them, stating she would read them later. They went over a great deal of things and her mind was full of names, numbers and tasks to see to.

As they talked Roisin could slowly feel herself tiring. At first, she thought it was just the talking. The morning had been more time with people than she was used to. She tried to concentrate but her colour began to drain and her eyes grew a little glassy.

Osran looked at Ettrian. He knew it had begun.

 

[The_gladiator]

Ettrian watched and listened mostly from the doorway as they spoke. He would occasionally step to the table to look at a map or chart, but mostly kept his distance, save for studying things he deemed important.

Ettrian caught the telling look from Osran. It was beginning, Roisin was starting to not feel well and it was becoming obvious. However, he did not want to interrupt, this next topic Adrian had brought up was important. He would have to help her walk a fine line.

“My lady, I must ask if you will intend on paying your father’s debts. He owed quite a bit of money. He has primarily been financing this through.” He cleared his throat. “Letting Alexei and the other assassins take jobs. Jobs that the kingdoms pay handsomely for. Will you be allowing this to continue, or will you be putting a stop to it? If you put a stop to it, how do you suggest we pay the debts?”

Ettrian stepped closer to Roisin, unconsciously flanking Osran as the other man did the same. Adrian had been distracted the whole time up until now. But with this new subject, being so important his full attention was on his new queen and he could not fail to notice how Pale Roisin had grown.

“I do not think this a great time to discuss assassins,” Osran said jumping to her defense, and trying to cover it up. Give Roisin a reason for looking like that. “Afterall it has still not been confirmed if her father was assassinated.”

“Right you are. I am sorry my lady. How thoughtless of me, I do need an answer though.” He said clasping his hands. He sounded apologetic but still unwilling to bend.

 

[SandS13]

Roisin was trying hard to concentrate on what Adrian was saying. It was hard because at times it felt like she was swaying. At other times she was cold. She adjusted a little in her seat hoping it would help her focus better.

She felt the first clenching of her stomach. The way her mouth seemed to salivate a little more. Roisin swallowed but that seemed to make her stomach protest. She felt nauseous and wasn’t sure how to go about ending the meeting before she vomited on the table.

As Osran spoke up, interjecting that the topic was not appropriate Roisin closed her eyes. The room now felt too hot. She brushed a hair from her face and could feel the clammy sweat that was breaking out on her skin. She had a fever, clearly.

She inhaled and willed herself not to throw up when she opened her mouth next. “Of course. Continue for now until I have time to assess if we have other ways.” Roisin waved a hand weakly. “All this talk of assassins, I need some time to reflect. Please, that is enough for now.”

The hand she waved moved to her face as if she was thinking but Roisin was desperately holding in the feeling that she was about to gag. Once more her mouth filled with saliva. She reached for a napkin as if wiping her eyes and pressed it to her mouth. She knew if she swallowed she was done for.

Adrian gathered his things and slowly prepared to leave.

Roisin looked at Osran, her eyes glassy, watery. “You need to leave.” The dark skinned man began to usher the advisor and his things out the door.

As the door was opened, Roisin slumped in her chair. “Find me a bowl…” She said weakly to Ettrian.

 

[The_gladiator]

Adrian kept his eyes on her as she dismissed him. “You do not look well.”

She has been through a lot.” Osran said as he herded the man toward the door.

“I must protest that you are quite rude rushing me out when my queen seems ill.”

“Her father has just died and you brought up assassinations,” Osran used the tone on Adrian he had used on Ettrian the night before.

The seneschal slumped. Very well. I will go, for now. Someone will need to talk to Alexei and Thurgau though.”

“We will take care of it,” Osran told him. He then firmly closed the door.

Ettrian watched Roisin. He retrieved a bowl. It seemed to ordinarily hold incense yet it would do. His right hand brushed her hair back from her face. The left placed the bowl before her. He did not say, she was safe to throw up, but he knew she would recognize it was safe to.

His magic flowed into her trying to sooth her know he was touching her, yet, he knew it was too late, at least for this round. She would need to purge herself this time. She would soon need the tea to help her prevent the symptoms from getting worse.

 

[SandS13]

Roisin was grateful to the men as they took care of getting rid of Adrian. She could not focus well. She took the bowl, not caring where he had found it and as Ettrian moved her hair, Roisin vomited.

She purged until she thought it was done for the moment. She put the bowl on the table and tried to stand.

Osran locked the door to her room. He turned and gave Ettrian a concerned look. He moved to the woman and lifted her gently from the chair.

The motion made Roisin moan in distress. “I am going to-”

“Fear not. I will get you to the bathroom and clothes can be cleaned should your body do as it must before we get there.” His voice was deep and comforting.

Roisin’s skin had broken out in a cold sweat. Her head lulled to one side, resting on Osran’s shoulder as he carried her carefully into the bedroom and then into the bathroom. He placed her down before the basin.

She leaned in and immediately began to vomit again. Her body convulsed with the force of it. She moaned, tears falling from her eyes. It felt as if her body was trying to turn itself inside out. She leaned heavily on the basin to the point where she could not hold her head up and simply laid on her own arm. Her body lurched each time it felt the need to expel the contents of her stomach until she was brining up nothing but the stomach acid that remained behind.

Osran turned to Ettrian. “A bath and bed. When should she have the tea?” He was calm and ready to see to her in whatever way was needed.

 

[The_gladiator]

Osran beat Ettrian to lifting Roisin into his arms and carrying her to the bathroom. He held her hair this second round, his free hand rubbing in small circles on her back to sooth her. Ettrian had carried the bowl in after them and dumped it down the privy shaft. When her stomach had subsided, the basin was likewise sent that way. The shaft emptied into a river underground that took the waste away from the castle. It was quite a nice design, just as the tub filled from a nearby hot spring. Ettrian moved to fill the bath as Her body slowed in the process of purging itself.

“The tea is something that I will brew now that the symptoms have begun. This first round she had something to throw up, there is less risk of damaging oneself in this round. It is when the next round wishes to be that strong and there is nothing to purge that there becomes the risk of blood, of internal damage. She should have enough time in between to bathe and get into bed with the tea, before the next round starts. I suspect the fever will come soon too. He placed the back of his hand to her forehead. “It has not started yet.”

Osran nodded. “Do you have the ingredients here you will need.”

“No, I will have to write down a list for you and you will need to retrieve the ingredients I need for me.”

“Why would you not go get them yourself?”

“Because you do not have the magic that could prevent the next round of violent symptoms as I do.”

“As you say,” Osran said. He sounded skeptical, yet he would do as the elf asked. He could admit that he knew little about such things. “You go write the ingredients down, I will get her into the bath, and then you will need to bathe her while I am gone. I will not have her exerting herself with things like washing herself.”

Ettrian nodded his assent and headed from the room. He found parchment, ink and a pen at Roisin’s desk. He began to write ingredients, listing things he would need more of as well as things he did not have it him at all.

As that was happening, Osran reached for the laces of the purple half-corset that Roisin wore. Releasing it he then reached to lift the dress. This probably should have felt awkward, but he treated her as a nurse would the sick, devoid of emotion. If he noticed her beauty as he bared it, he made no outward sign of it. His dark skin contrasted starkly with her pale skin as he lifted her into his arms again, and set her into the tub of water. “How are you feeling my queen?” he asked solicitously.

 

[SandS13]

Her body slumped against his as she was carried. Roisin wasn’t used to feeling helpless or reliant on others and yet she had not ability to argue or fight back. It was difficult.

She moaned softly as her body finished expelling as much as it could. She felt her hair being held back, the hand rubbing her back as her body spasmed and lurched over the basin. She was grateful for the design that carried the vile contents away. Roisin wanted to crawl into bed, to lay down. She moved as if to lay on the floor. She knew she did not have the strength to go anywhere.

She was vaguely aware of the men talking. She forced her eyes to open and tried to focus on them. Something about tea. The idea of putting anything in her stomach made her dry heave. They were debating, who would leave and who would stay with her. She let out a pitiful sound. At this moment she just wanted them to leave her alone.

The moment that thought came to the forefront of her mind the moment it sent a wave of fear through her. If they left her she might die. There was no telling yet if she would survive this. This was not an illness, this was her body purging itself. Be it because what her mother gave her was necessary or as was being suspected, to suppress powers it was still revolting against the drug being gone.

Roisin felt herself being moved. Her corset was loosened and she could not immediately comprehend what was happening. And then she was naked. She knew that if he sought to assault her she could not fight him off. Osran was so gentle. He made no move to do anything to her but cradled her once more in his arms. She closed her eyes as he carried her to the tub.

The warm water engulfed her body. She let out a noise somewhere between pain and relief.

Roisin licked her lips but as she swallowed the little saliva in her mouth she dry heaved a little. “I feel as if I have been turned inside out. I worry it will get worse…” She laid back against the tub. “It is going to get worse, isn’t it?”

“Yes, but the elf is going to make a tea to help. I will leave you for a time to gather what he needs.” The dark skinned man ran a cloth over her neck and shoulders.

“I have never been so weak...at least not in my memory...maybe as a child…” Roisin’s head lulled to the side and she opened her eyes to look at him. “I am not used to this. Thank you, Osran.” Her voice was soft. A moment of vulnerability. She lifted a hand and tried to take the cloth but found herself too tired to do so. She laughed softly. “I fear I will slip under the water and drown myself. I am almost too tired to sit up.”

 

[The_gladiator]

“Rest assured my queen the elf will not let you down. I trust him that far.” He said as he lay the cloth over the side of the tub. “Speak not you’re thanks to me, it is my honor to serve,” he briefly lay his hand against her cheek.

Standing he headed to the bathroom door, where he took the piece of paper from Ettrian who met him there. Scanning it he nodded shortly, familiar with most of the ingredients, the ones he was less familiar with had notations beside them where to find them. It was clear the elf wanted him to be quick.

Soon it was the elf kneeling at the side of the tub, dipping the cloth in the warm water. He let it run over her. “The longer we can keep you warm, the longer we may prevent the chills from coming. He lay his hand to the side of her neck, allowing his magic to flow into her, soothing her stomach, relaxing some of the muscles that she had tensed with the purging. This was not dissimilar to what he was doing with the massage before, though this time there was less physical massage, just the flow of his magic.

He left his hand there for a while his eyes meeting hers. “I will keep you as safe as I can,” he whispered, almost too low to hear. He then reached for the bar of soap and began to run the cloth with the soap over her neck and shoulders, and finally down one of her arms, starting the process of washing her, taking Osran’s words about washing her very seriously. He knew also she would want to be clean of the smell and feel of the vomit, and that experience. He lifted her hand in his and began to wash it, at first sliding the cloth between her fingers and finally setting it aside and using his hands to lather her hand, gently working over it, pressing at tight muscles he found, using the heat of his magic to press at knots he found there.

Finally, he let her hand drift back into the water and repeated the process with her other arm. “Are you warm enough?” he asked finally breaking the almost awkward silence. “Is there more I can do for you at this time?” he inquired.

 

[SandS13]

Roisin was too exhausted to do little more than nod to Osran’s assertions that the elf would see to her wellbeing. She wanted to tell him that she was unnerved by the elf that there was something there that she did not understand but her mind could not process the thoughts and her mouth could not form the words. Instead, she laid back in the warm water and closed her eyes. She did wonder if she might slip under the surface, too tired to keep herself upright.

The strong hand on her cheek caused Roisin to open her eyes but as she did so Osran was gone. He was honour and strength in physical form, of that she was sure. This was not normal in this place. This was the home of thieves and shadows, dark things. Honour had no place here. Caring and tenderness were seen as a weakness.

Roisin wasn’t sure how long it was between Osran leaving and her being aware that someone was speaking to her. No, not just someone but Ettrian. She had not recalled closing her eyes again but as she now found herself opening them it was clear she had dozed off.

She let out a soft moan as she felt a wave of his magic move through her. She was not used to this. Her mother had ensured she remained far from those with magic that the sensation was strange and new still, even at her age.

Her whole body relaxed and that too caused a noise from her. “Will this kill me? Is that what is happening? Surely this is proof I need- “ She wanted to beg for the medicine her mother had made her take but Roisin became aware that his hands were moving over her body. He was washing her. The smell of soap replacing that of vomit, sweat and bile. Her eyes followed him as he washed her arm.

“I am warm...you are more caring and careful than I would have credited you with.” Her eyes were glassy, her tongue loose as she waivered in and out of consciousness. “I do not wish to vomit anymore.” Roisin sighed. “I remember you. When you would visit my mother. Even when she would not acknowledge anyone, you still came. I hid, I saw you try to talk to her. All others gave up but not you. Not me. She hated it here….I think she loved my father once but I never saw it. I did not love him. That is my secret. I hated him. I was trying to leave you know. You cannot tell anyone.” She could not stop herself, the words just kept pouring out. “I wanted to run away for as long as I could remember. Now, I have to rule here.” Roisin gave a hard laugh. “Your hands are nice. I did not know someone could touch another in a way that was so...gentle. Men are never gentle. It is why mother never let them near me...They are all afraid of me...of my father…” Her head lulled to the side. “I am cold..”

She began to shiver.

 

[The_gladiator]

Ettrian lifted an eyebrow at her initial words about him. “Sometimes people are more than what they seem,” he murmured as he trailed the soap over her shoulders and upper chest, above her breasts, not quite touching them even with the cloth yet. As she spoke about her mother his hand stilled just over her chest. “I never gave up on her,” he said softly. He never had, and never would on her daughter.

The green eyes widened as she spoke about her mother and father, and her distaste for her father. “Your father cannot trouble you or any man who wishes to touch you anymore.” He wondered if that was too blunt. He was tempted to tell her the truth, would she even remember the truth, clearly, she was almost delirious at this point.

However, he was spared from having to make that decision when she said she was cold. The fever was starting. He ran the warm cloth up over her neck, hands stirring to life. It would not be long before he would have to join her, add his body heat to hers. “Do not remember this the wrong way later,” he muttered as he began to strip off his robes. “This is to keep you from slipping under the water and keep you warm. I am not making a pass at you.”

Naked now he leaned her forward and climbed into the pool behind her, sliding his legs around her, letting her lay back against him. “I will not share the words you tell me in this state, you have my word,” The elf did not give his word lightly, but he wasn’t sure if she would recognize the significance of his promise.

From his new position he ran the soapy cloth over the back of her shoulder, and along more of her neck.

 

[SandS13]

She was only vaguely aware of all the things she was saying in this feverish state but she was glad that she had the clarity at one point to ask him not to speak of it. Roisin tried to nod as he promised her he would not but she began to shiver so much that it was barely noticeable. “Thank you.” She whispered.

He was washing her but all Roisin could focus on was the warmth of his body. She was so very cold despite the hot water. She instinctively turned, pushing aside his hand and the cloth to try and climb in his lap, to get as close as she could.

“I am scared.” She whispered as she wrapped her arms around him and hugged herself to his body heat. Her body was shaking against his. Roisin closed her eyes. She laughed softly. “I have never been naked with another and now I am and it is not even for sex.” For some reason this amused her. She giggled again. “And I am naked with an elf, in my bath and I am dying…” She laughed a little harder and yet tears trickled down her cheeks. It was as if the illness was making it difficult for her to control her emotions.

There was the sound of a closing door. In the main room Osran was laying out the things he had gathered for the elf and double checking the list. He had two more things to get but had run out of space to carry things. He rushed back out once more, closing and locking the door behind him.

 

[The_gladiator]

Ettrian had thought their position would have been enough but she did not seem to think so. He slid his arms around her and ran warm water up and over her back as she pressed close. He tried to stay clinical, not to think of how one of the most beautiful women in the area was in his lap. Oh, some might think her eyes were strange, but no one would deny her attractiveness.

He felt her breasts on his chest as he held her shivering body against his. “You are not dying,’ he told her firmly. “And I am sure you will have plenty of opportunities to be naked with me, err…with a man when you are feeling better.” He felt the heat in his cheeks at his slip of the tongue. Hopefully she would not remember it. And yet, the tea would most certainly result in her laying with he or Osran before this night was through, so perhaps he should not even pretend to have modesty.

“I heard Osran, He should be back soon.” As he spoke, he leaned back more in the water, encouraging her to lay more against him and to get more of her body beneath the water, one hand sliding up to tuck her head to his shoulder. “You are as safe as I can make you right Now. You can do this.” He had not joined her in her laughter, but the irony was not lost on him. The amount he wanted her was fairly strong, and yet, he was generally behaving himself, for now.

Osran was on the hunt. The last two ingredients he knew he would need to go to the elf’s dwelling for. He was unclear where the elf’s home was, other than he knew it had to be in the trees. He caught the sleeve of a passing page, one that appeared to work under the seneschal. “Do you know where I can find the elf’s home, and for the love of the goddess do not tell me it’s in the trees. I need specifics.”

“Which elf, sir?” the man asked.

Osran ground his teeth. “The mage, the advisor to the queen. Ettrian.”

The man shuttered at the name but nodded and began to draw a map in the dust on the stone floor with the toe of his boot, giving directions. Osran glowered, sorely tempted to just bring the fool with him as a guide, but he could not risk anyone knowing the dire nature of his mission.