Inabilty to Orgasm.

[like2pleez]

Sarah,
I wish there was a easy solution for you. I am glad you are getting help. Keep a posative attidute and outlook. If I can help in anyway just let me know. BIG HUG!!

I'm on the mend, Rob.

A couple of months ago I was nearing depression over this, though.

But lots of research and a good doctor and a good pharmacist are making all the difference.

Yay drugs!

 

[Tarakin]

* Hugs * , Sarahh. Hope it'll get better soon.

 

[Belegon]

kudos for you being brave enough to share this, dear. You never know who it might help... there are an awful lot of people reading who never speak up.

We all have changes, due to different circumstances, not just aging. I know that I went through some serious doubts about myself a few years back, just before I took control of my life again. Some of the physical issues that occurred then have remained, many have not.

I am not the beast I was at 25. Used to be a stiff breeze was enough, you know? Years ago, a random thought could spark an erection. Then it took directed thought, then thought plus some other input from my senses, visual or otherwise. Now, I need direct attention, and it almost has to be tactile to get all the way there.

Also, duration has decreased. Things just don't stay the way I want them to as long.

Its almost like I used to be able to play all forty minutes of a basketball game without a rest. Now, as I age, I need my time outs, by breathers on the bench. I can still hit the game-winning shot, I've just need to learn the value of pacing myself.

I've also noticed an increase in sensitivity to the effects of various drugs. In the wrong direction. Its enough to make me dread taking an antihistamine.

I'm very happy that I have always had such a diverse interest in sex. I know many men who invest all their sexual prowess in their dicks. To those men, aging must be even worse. I, who have always valued using my whole body, now have even more reason to believe I was wise to develop skills with my hands and mouth.

I'm not going to give up sex. I don't see any reason to do so. I will have no problem using Viagra as more than a special occasion drug. It could get expensive, sure. But I will take thankful advantage of the technology, rejoicing in the accident of my birth that placed me in a time when such measures are available.

My attitude towards aging gracefully was ably expressed by Dylan Thomas. (who ironically never did.)

I will not go gently into that goodnight. I will rage against the dying of the light.

 

[impressive]

I will not go gently into that goodnight. I will rage against the dying of the light.

And I so love the way you rage.

 

[Belegon]

And I so love the way you rage.

...except when it involves dying my gray hair, right?

I love you.

 

[sweetness6280]

I'm not really sure that there is a "too young" for menopause. I have been in peri-menopause for right at 10 years... all the symptoms of menopause, and menses too. Who needs the lottery!

You have a great support team as far as meds and supplements are concerned, and it sounds like you are doing well on them. The only advice I can give you is to re-learn your body. Like Imp said, the method sometimes shifts a bit. It's your own private Invasion of the Body Snatchers. Someone has replaced the body you know and LOVE with an unresponsive blow-up doll. I found that exploring my body myself was the best way to... um... reset the orgasm feature.

The biggest thing is to relax... lol, I know the best way to relax is a big O... but try. Make the sex about everything but the orgasm. Make every touch, every kiss an adventure. When we focus on the sensual side of sex, making the intimacy rather than the orgasm the goal, amazing things happen... for women AND men.

I can say that it does pass. I still have the occassional moment if my hormones are a bit out of whack, but those moments are few and far between.

Thanks for posting this. There are many women who hit this time and figure that's it for them. Hopefully some of them will see this post and realize the best is really yet to come.

 

[Safe_Bet]

...except when it involves dying my gray hair, right?

I love you.

Geez... where the hell is my insulin? I'm going into sugar shock!

 

[NoJo]

My father often quoted that -- it was about death I think, rather than aging. It's not an attitude I subscribe to -- yet.

I hope to have forty more years of life -- I'm fifty now.

My parents each in their own ways have provided me with wonderful role models of aging gracefully. Old age is not something to either fear, or to relish. Like the rest of life, it's all about how you live it.

It's so much more important to remain healthy than it is to attempt to reverse the hormonal changes associated with aging. And remaining healthy doesn't mean going to the gym four times a week, or going on diets. It means treating your mind and body with respect -- not punishing and harranguing them as though they were wayward or fundamentally in need of "fixing".

Aging is NOT a bad thing. Get past that attitude, or you'll find that too many of your latter years have been spent in fear and resentment.

P.S. I sometime take Viagra too. Be careful not to get psychologically dependent on it -- it's so effective that it becomes all too easy to succumb to the fear that you won't be able to perform without it!

 

[Belegon]

My father often quoted that -- it was about death I think, rather than aging. It's not an attitude I subscribe to -- yet.

I hope to have forty more years of life -- I'm fifty now.

My parents each in their own ways have provided me with wonderful role models of aging gracefully. Old age is not something to either fear, or to relish. Like the rest of life, it's all about how you live it.

It's so much more important to remain healthy than it is to attempt to reverse the hormonal changes associated with aging. And remaining healthy doesn't mean going to the gym four times a week, or going on diets. It means treating your mind and body with respect -- not punishing and harranguing them as though they were wayward or fundamentally in need of "fixing".

Aging is NOT a bad thing. Get past that attitude, or you'll find that too many of your latter years have been spent in fear and resentment.

P.S. I sometime take Viagra too. Be careful not to get psychologically dependent on it -- it's so effective that it becomes all too easy to succumb to the fear that you won't be able to perform without it!

Joe, I fall prey to a couple of the things you mention. I am trying to retain certain parts of my youth through dieting and working out. And I can totally see the possibility that I could grow increasingly resentful of my body and it's aging process.

But I have to say that I also feel that my being aware of that blunts it somewhat. I just want to stay as healthy as possible as long as possible. And, after having really let myself go in my mid-thirties, there is a self-disciplinary benefit to my desire to still look good. It keeps me from gorging on pie and candy. And pasta. And so many things that are bad for me in excess.

Also, the thing Joe mentioned about a Pysch dependence on Viagra is very valid. and not just for us middle-aged guys... I am very careful with it. I suggest all of us be. Regardless of our age.

 

[Vermilion]

Whilst I can see how very frustrating it must be to be long-term with someone who has trouble orgasming, but as a one-night idea it presents itself as something of a challenge to be met. I doubt I'm the only one - watch out for people at Chicago trying to conquer your inability Sarah!!

<hugs and kisses>
V

 

[MoeDick]

Sarah good luck and you did a very good service by sharing and getting others to share also. It has and will help many more than you will ever know.

 

[Selena_Kitt]

I've heard good things about the bio-identical hormones. (Controversial things, too, but mostly from the big-pharm and medical community who make and prescribe the pharmaceutical alternatives, go figure... ) If I were to ever do hormones, I'd go bio-identical. I think you made a wise choice, Sarah, and I'm glad they're starting to really work for you.

While I have the some of the same feelings about growing old(er) as Ami and SubJoe, and my reservations about changing nature's course, I also know that there are plenty of women whose hormones can go out of whack for all sorts of reasons that don't involve perimenopause or menopause. Certainly stress and trauma can effect hormones levels in a big way.

While I believe that our bodies know what they're doing, as we age, and things slow down and we become more introspective... I also know that our culture and environment accentuates and accelerates a great deal of what happens to our bodies, too. Women's bodies are particularly environmentally sensitive, and I have no doubt that our reactions, on the collective level, are in response to the way we live our lives, what we eat, what we breathe, what we surround ourselves with...

"Healthy" - in this culture - is so damned relative.

 

[Dragonlipz]

Thank you for sharing

It's certianly not something everyone would open up for discussion, but perhaps it will help another person to seek a solution instead of just living with it as I'm sure many women have in the past.
God bless you and I hope that blessing is sooner than later.
Lipz

 

[Guest]

. . . .

 

[voluptuary_manque]

Joe, I hear what you are saying about accepting nature's course, but that isn't what happened in my case.

One of the first things I asked the doctor was - "Do I have to take these for the rest of my life?"

The answer is, "Oh, no. You take them until your body adjusts, then we can gradually lessen and stop the dosage."

In normal menopause, things happen much more gradually than they did in my case. There are still a myriad of symptoms, of course, and every woman is different, but I'm certain gradual is the key.

Your body adjusts. Mine didn't get the chance.

I'm helping it out now.

Acceptance of Fate isn't the American way, anyhow.

 

[Guest]

. . . .

 

[Guest]

. . . .

 

[bb_peaks]

Kudos to you for having the courage to post this. I suffer from this mildy (I couldn't begin to imagine having it all the time).

 

[cantdog]

Love, kid.

 

[Zeb_Carter]

 

[TE999]

*Snerk* TE you make it sound like she just joined AA or sumthin, jeez... Somebody should start OA. You could have little stickers on you car with a limp dick.

Merely offering a bit of sympathy, Susie Sweetcheeks. We men can exhibit that too.

Actually, no ED problems around here...just more assiduous use of the tool. I've found the journey to be as equally enjoyable as the final destination.

 

[Guest]

. . . .

 

[Stella_Omega]

Oh, Ami.
"I won't take antibiotics - God will cure me."

I wish Ami would say that. But no.

 

[Stella_Omega]

Joe, I hear what you are saying about accepting nature's course, but that isn't what happened in my case.

One of the first things I asked the doctor was - "Do I have to take these for the rest of my life?"

The answer is, "Oh, no. You take them until your body adjusts, then we can gradually lessen and stop the dosage."

In normal menopause, things happen much more gradually than they did in my case. There are still a myriad of symptoms, of course, and every woman is different, but I'm certain gradual is the key.

Your body adjusts. Mine didn't get the chance.

I'm helping it out now.

This is very cool!

And your endocrinology team sounds like a dream come true!

 

[Guest]

. . . .