Interesting Sex Stats About Monogamy And Multiple Partners

[Britva415]

you seem adamant that 69% gets out there. Have to blame women for divorce right? Can't be that 69% of men are useless tools can it?"

uhh

Why do you take that as "blaming women"?

It's almost like you think if a woman is married to a useless tool and she starts the divorce, it's her fault, if that's how you read the neutrally-presented 69% figure.

 

[oggbashan]

To avoid difficulties on Literotica it is best to have characters that are older than 18, and not at high school. University is OK.

Phrases like 'she was 18 but underdeveloped' will lead to rejection.

References, unless just a bald statement, to anything sexual that happened before 18 will also get rejected. Even those can be problematical.

If you want to write about younger people? Post elsewhere.

 

[lovecraft68]

uhh

Why do you take that as "blaming women"?

It's almost like you think if a woman is married to a useless tool and she starts the divorce, it's her fault, if that's how you read the neutrally-presented 69% figure.

The posting history and attitude of the OP is why I say that. People like to use stats to back their personal agendas. What the 69% really means is not the context of why he posted this, then within the first few posts kept repeating only that stat and insisting people look for it.

That a good enough explanation for you?

Also if my comment of women start divorces because they're married to a useless tool is blaming the woman you seriously need to work on reading comprehension. But let me explain it for you. If I'm using a derogatory term to describe the man that means the man is the problem

I typed that as slowly as possible, make sure you read it at that pace.

 

[Britva415]

The posting history and attitude of the OP is why I say that. People like to use stats to back their personal agendas. What the 69% really means is not the context of why he posted this, then within the first few posts kept repeating only that stat and insisting people look for it.

That a good enough explanation for you?

Also if my comment of women start divorces because they're married to a useless tool is blaming the woman you seriously need to work on reading comprehension. But let me explain it for you. If I'm using a derogatory term to describe the man that means the man is the problem

I typed that as slowly as possible, make sure you read it at that pace.

Maybe you know something about OP which I don't, because I didn't read any of that into what he actually wrote.

If his agenda is "be nicer to my wife," it sounds like maybe he doesn't want to be a useless tool to her.

It's beyond obvious from those "first few posts" that the only reason OP had people look for the stat was because it had disappeared from the linked post, and people were confused and accusing him of fabricating it.

 

[gordo12]

uhh

Why do you take that as "blaming women"?

It's almost like you think if a woman is married to a useless tool and she starts the divorce, it's her fault, if that's how you read the neutrally-presented 69% figure.

Maybe you know something about OP which I don't, because I didn't read any of that into what he actually wrote.

If his agenda is "be nicer to my wife," it sounds like maybe he doesn't want to be a useless tool to her.

It's beyond obvious from those "first few posts" that the only reason OP had people look for the stat was because it had disappeared from the linked post, and people were confused and accusing him of fabricating it.

You're relatively new here. The poster is off his meds again and this kind of crap happens all too often as Simon has mentioned.

The posting history and attitude of the OP is why I say that.

Why don't you share my posting history so we can all understand what you mean?
But first, into the bathroom. Take that little pill bottle and then wait 48 hours for the meds to kick in. You might make more sense than these baseless accusations.

 

[alohadave]

Thats true, the 69% are quite meaningless. But what you are relating to shouldnt be as common as it was 30 years ago. Atleast in my country. Since parental leave for example is possible for man and women. The income disparity from then is also nonexistent. Today you get paid for your ability and not for what you have between your legs. In my experience childcare is way more equal than it was at the time where I was a child. Housework is pretty much the same, since in 90% of the cases, both people work. So excuses like 'I was working and dont have time for housework' are not possible.

So yeah, some facts from 30 years ago dont compute with my reality. But I also know that there are some man out there who are emotionally not fit for relationships and some reveal themselves at later stages of the relationship, like after being married. There was an interesting thread on reddit about such a guy and I still cant believe how this guy got even married. That one would fit perfectly into the 69% who get divorced, initiated by the women. Perfect example for someone who doesnt support the female partner, emotionally.

https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/10bnywp

The intersting bit is not about babysitting, just sayin.

If I was babysitting my wife's boyfriend's kids, I'd want money for that too.

 

[AwkwardlySet]

I assumed that post that has a husband complaining about babysitting was a troll post, but I guess not? Is he really ok with everything IF he gets paid for babysitting? Gee.

 

[Thorlol]

If I was babysitting my wife's boyfriend's kids, I'd want money for that too.

Thats the hilarious part about it. Many commenters asked about the nature of their relationship. But he is just the neighbor who takes his wife out to dinner and movies. Something he doesnt enjoy. But it fits perfectly into the statistic of why the 69% of the divorces are initated by the women. Gordo already related to as to why women generally file for divorce and that reddit guy is the perfect example of someone who is not aware of the emotional needs of his wife.

But I get what you mean

 

[Thorlol]

I assumed that post that has a husband complaining about babysitting was a troll post, but I guess not? Is he really ok with everything IF he gets paid for babysitting? Gee.

Didnt feel like a troll post. He even answered some questions. He is oblivious to how the situation looks to outsiders.

 

[Bramblethorn]

Thats true, the 69% are quite meaningless. But what you are relating to shouldnt be as common as it was 30 years ago. Atleast in my country. Since parental leave for example is possible for man and women. The income disparity from then is also nonexistent. Today you get paid for your ability and not for what you have between your legs. In my experience childcare is way more equal than it was at the time where I was a child. Housework is pretty much the same, since in 90% of the cases, both people work. So excuses like 'I was working and dont have time for housework' are not possible.

That seems like a good argument for why housework should be equal, but the reality is different. Women still do far more housework than men. Discussion on recent Australian figures here: https://theconversation.com/yet-aga...is-the-time-to-invest-in-interventions-185488

This one is a bit older, but some interesting reading about the relationship between housework and divorce:

https://melbourneinstitute.unimelb....e-papers/2007/Sawrikar,-Pooja_final-paper.pdf

In particular it talks about how perceived "fairness" isn't the same as a 50/50 division of housework.

 

[gordo12]

What I found interesting was nobody mentioned repair work or work in the yard. Only housework.

 

[ElectricBlue]

What I found interesting was nobody mentioned repair work or work in the yard. Only housework.

Gotta get that doghouse built, eh Gordo .

 

[Thorlol]

That seems like a good argument for why housework should be equal, but the reality is different. Women still do far more housework than men. Discussion on recent Australian figures here: https://theconversation.com/yet-aga...is-the-time-to-invest-in-interventions-185488

This one is a bit older, but some interesting reading about the relationship between housework and divorce:

https://melbourneinstitute.unimelb....e-papers/2007/Sawrikar,-Pooja_final-paper.pdf

In particular it talks about how perceived "fairness" isn't the same as a 50/50 division of housework.

Both links were insightful. It was interesting to read how the divorce rate was already impacted by just acknowledging the fact that you are doing not enough towards your partner. It seems to me like its not only an issue about doing the equal share but also showing gratitude if your partner does more. The phrase 'taking for granted' comes to mind. A common phenomenon in almost every relationship by both genders.

Too bad the paper is so old because quite alot happend in the last 20 years. Almost another generation. Also I hard time to identify with the australian census, because I come from germany. We already do have alot of policies implemented that the census was talking about.

Second, we need comprehensive policies that allow men to step into care-giving roles without fear of retribution and penalty at work.

That is something we do not have to fear. On the one side we do have labor protection laws and our labour market is currently very employee friendly. Wich means, if we dont like what our employer dishes out we look for another place of work and have no problems finding one. Almost regardless in wich profession.

What I found interesting was nobody mentioned repair work or work in the yard. Only housework.

Because housework is actually the most important work because it affects your everyday life. 2 cm higher grass wont affect you the same as piles of clothes in front of the washing machine. And what repair work is there actually? If something is wrong with my car I cant do anything about it because its filled more with electronics than mechanical parts. And our house was build in the 90s. There should be nothing to repair and if there was it would be quite serious, therefore needing a professional.

But its possible that it might very different in other countries.

 

[Bramblethorn]

What I found interesting was nobody mentioned repair work or work in the yard. Only housework.

The Australian figures I mentioned are for all "unpaid domestic work", explicitly including gardening and repair work, based on responses to this question:

https://www.abs.gov.au/ausstats/abs@.nsf/0/f672d3365986b7f5ca2581470023cb29/Body/0.EDE!OpenElement&FieldElemFormat=gif

Summarising that as "housework" is a bit imprecise, mea culpa, but I suspect in most households one would find that repair work and yard work are relatively small components.

 

[lovecraft68]

What I found interesting was nobody mentioned repair work or work in the yard. Only housework.

Damn, there they go talking about what women do and not giving men any credit for their manly handiness. Just picking on the poor men "they say we don't do housework, they don't care I mowed the lawn" Reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

My old man would smack me for whining the way 'men' like you do.

Also like how the consensus seems to be women can't/don't do yardwork or any type of repairs. Guess they're too busy cooking to pick up a drill.

You just keep showing the true colors....and you don't even see it.

Did your father pass down his copy of the housewives handbook to you, or did EB send you the Australian edition?

 

[Bramblethorn]

Too bad the paper is so old because quite alot happend in the last 20 years. Almost another generation. Also I hard time to identify with the australian census, because I come from germany. We already do have alot of policies implemented that the census was talking about.

Some recent German research here: https://www.demographic-research.org/volumes/vol40/48/default.htm

It looks like there's still quite a bit of disparity. Among childless couples, about 53% report a 50/50 division of housework but in most of the rest, it's completely/mainly done by the woman. Among couples with one child, women are overwhelmingly doing a majority of the housework. Table from the study:

 

[djrip]

I think it's legitimate to wonder if yard and maintenance work were included in the figures. Part of understanding the meaning of a statistic is understanding the methodology behind the statistic. So I was glad to see the clarification that it was included. It is necessary work like everything else. It might be done be a man or a woman. But it's good to know that things that take up a lot of my time, like raking the damn leaves for hours every weekend for half the year, are being included in the analysis.

 

[KeithD]

No, let's be accurate and fair. "That" did not escalate. Lovecraft escalated it, in a disgusting, malicious, and entirely unwarranted way. Let's call it exactly what it is. Gordo made reasonable and benign observations about divorce statistics, and Lovecraft, as he does constantly, filtered his comments through his own personal insecure, chip-on-the-shoulder, rage-induced haze and spit back venom at a fellow AH author for the umpteenth time for no reason. There's no call whatsoever for this interpretation of what Gordo wrote.

Lovecraft, who loves to call out others for his perceptions of "hypocrisy," is by far the biggest hypocrite in this forum: the one who is most likely to rant against others' perceived moralism or wokeness or whatever, but who also is by far the most likely to pass moral judgment on the others in this forum. It's a tired, tedious, tawdry act.

Absolutely right.

 

[Bramblethorn]

I think it's legitimate to wonder if yard and maintenance work were included in the figures. Part of understanding the meaning of a statistic is understanding the methodology behind the statistic. So I was glad to see the clarification that it was included. It is necessary work like everything else. It might be done be a man or a woman. But it's good to know that things that take up a lot of my time, like raking the damn leaves for hours every weekend for half the year, are being included in the analysis.

Definitely worth checking. I should note that the German paper I mentioned doesn't use quite the same definitions - they base it on "routine chores, such as doing the laundry, cooking, and cleaning", specifically excluding things like "making repairs and handling administrative matters".

I suspect the importance of yard work is going to vary greatly from place to place, according to how much yard people actually have.

 

[gordo12]

Damn, there they go talking about what women do and not giving men any credit for their manly handiness. Just picking on the poor men "they say we don't do housework, they don't care I mowed the lawn" Reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

My old man would smack me for whining the way 'men' like you do.

Also like how the consensus seems to be women can't/don't do yardwork or any type of repairs. Guess they're too busy cooking to pick up a drill.

You just keep showing the true colors....and you don't even see it.

Did your father pass down his copy of the housewives handbook to you, or did EB send you the Australian edition?

Well, there you go. Spouting off bullshit you know nothing about again. I do all the cooking. Originally a family of 6. Have since day 1 in our relationship. I also do/did all the grocery shopping to support that. I also do the dishes that accumulate from that.

And yes, I do a lot of housework and all the yardwork.

 

[KeithD]

Well, there you go. Spouting off bullshit you know nothing about again. I do all the cooking. Originally a family of 6. Have since day 1 in our relationship. I also do/did all the grocery shopping to support that. I also do the dishes that accumulate from that.

And yes, I do a lot of housework and all the yardwork.

Yes, well, in LC's twisted little world of hurt and disappointment, ya know . . .

 

[SimonDoom]

Also, I have no idea about US, but in my country (and region) divorces are usually much tougher for women in many ways.

This is how it is in the US. Divorce can be hard on both parties, and circumstances vary, obviously, but statistically, women more often end up worse off after divorce in the USA than men. This is so despite the fact that a large group of men (perhaps overrepresented in certain parts of this site) are adamant that the divorce process screws over men. That's not what the stats show.

Divorce laws vary from state to state, but almost all states now have no-fault divorce systems. There's no need to prove one has cause or that the other is at fault for divorce. Assets are divided according to well-established formulas. I know because I went through a divorce and I learned a lot about the process.

We can't really infer anything very specific from the fact (if it's true) that 69% of divorces are initiated by women. I think people assume cheating and abuse are often to blame, and sometimes they are, but more often marriages end because of lack of compatibility, poor communication, and often money problems.

 

[Thorlol]

Definitely worth checking. I should note that the German paper I mentioned doesn't use quite the same definitions - they base it on "routine chores, such as doing the laundry, cooking, and cleaning", specifically excluding things like "making repairs and handling administrative matters".

I suspect the importance of yard work is going to vary greatly from place to place, according to how much yard people actually have.

Its no wonder they excluded that. It meshes with what I wrote. We do have yards, no question, but they are not that big. Atleast no big enough to be spending so much time for maintenance. It does look different in rural areas but the population there is decreasing. Although its quite cheap to buy there, nobody wants to live there. Bad infrastructure, long commuting for work, nothing to entertain yourself in your free time and not many people to socialise are not appealing.

And repairs, its just like I wrote. There is nothing to repair. Its build to last. And when something happens, it would be so severe that you need professionals to do it. At the very least because your insurance wont pay if they dont have a bill from a legitimate and licensed craft business.

But I am still surprised by the statistic. Either me and my circle of friends are unicorns or I am blind to other demographics. I could swear, half the parents I see in the morning at the kindergarten are fathers, for example. Of course I dont know what they are doing at home. Only what I do at home and what most of my friends do. Maybe I am biased because of that.

 

[TheRedChamber]

Well lookie here, we got ourselves a regular old gender war, boys (and girls)

Statistics are complicated and can be difficult to read given all the factors involved but the important things to remember are that the grass is always greener on the other side and it's definitely the other genders fault.

But because I'm of a mood to pour oil on the thread and watch it burn, have at this one:

• Female couples made up 72% of same-sex divorces in 2019. (Marr, 2020)

Source

 

[djrip]

That's just because they all got married on the first date...