introduce anal play to scared lover

[curiousjen]

Hi guys,

This is an historic event. Mark it down in your diaries as a day you will fondly remember in years to come. This is...dun dun dun...........Jens first post!

lol

to put this simply it doesn't seem fair that he can play around with my bumhole but i don't go near his. Every time i venture near this area he gets a scared look on his face, and every time i mention anal play he either laughs it off or looks terrified. I guess this is pretty common, but the thing is now i'm terrified too because i don't want to hurt him or do anything wrong.

so whats the best way to introduce it- gently- i'm not talking strap ons here just a finger or maybe a toungue or whatever.

Help i need some hints!

thanks guys

Jen

 

[Saint inda City]

hey Jen, i just joined yesterday!

funny, i have a similar problem..... she's been known to tongue my asshole occasionally during a blow job. i like it, she's never tried to finger it, but i'd prolly let her.
i REALLY wanna tongue and finger her ass... but she very rarely lets me lick her pussy (that's for another thread).


i'm not sure how to answer you though.... i dont mind it, so i can relate to why he seems to resist it. maybe give him a world-class BJ (i know you can!) and in the middle when he's putty in your hands and mouth.... start goin to town on his nuts and then work your way to his ass. i guess you've tried that..... shit. told ya i wasn't sure how to answer you.

maybe, away from the bedroom, enlighten him to the scientific facts about male anal stimulation. there IS something in it for him...

anyway, welcome from another newbie!

 

[Beloved0903]

Jen-

Have you talked to him about the subject? Maybe he had a bad experience previously and he's afraid. Make sure he realizes how much pleasure it give you.

If you do convince him to experiment, I would recommend doing so when he is already in a highly aroused state. He'll be more relaxed and more accepting.

I'll bet that it will only take one time and he'll be convinced.

 

[curiousjen]

Thanks for the welcome!

I guess that is good advice, the whole killer blowjob thing. I hadn't thought about taking advantage of that whole putty in my hands thing guess i'm just a little shy myself. I wonder if it is actually easy to hurt him?

 

[Beloved0903]

Thanks for the welcome!

I guess that is good advice, the whole killer blowjob thing. I hadn't thought about taking advantage of that whole putty in my hands thing guess i'm just a little shy myself. I wonder if it is actually easy to hurt him?

As long as you use some type of lubricant and you are gentle, you absolutely are not going to cause significant pain. A little discomfort at first is normal, but it gives way to intense pleasure very quickly.

 

[zhukov1943]

Here's a thought - maybe he's afraid of LIKING it, because he thinks that makes him "gay"?

Don't know what you can do about that...

 

[curiousjen]

I think theres a fragment of truth in that. Although he's absolutly not homophobic, he was brought up in a very anti gay enviroment from his family and i think theres probably a part of him that is scared of what enjoying that would mean- even though he knows that logically of course it doesn't mean anything.

 

[borusewicz]

Here's a thought - maybe he's afraid of LIKING it, because he thinks that makes him "gay"?

Don't know what you can do about that...

I know what you can do about that. Let him fuck your brains out. Just lay back and let him go to town. When he is done, the last thing he will be thinking is that he is gay (well, unless he is.).

 

[overthebow]

so whats the best way to introduce it- gently- i'm not talking strap ons here just a finger or maybe a toungue or whatever.

Try taking a shower with him, and get him soapy all over and let your hands wander. Get him used to being touched in a non-threatening environment. Try giving him a slow, soapy hand job and then reaching around to massage the entire area without paying undo attention to his anus.

 

[curiousjen]

thats a really good idea, the shower and everything- thanks i'll try that maybe tommorow.

 

[borusewicz]

The shower thing is a good idea, well except for the soapy hand job. It hurts a ton to get soap in the hole at the tip. Just a heads up on that one.

 

[Maxell46]

A long sensuous blowjob will do it!

My intro to having a woman slip a finger inside me was from a girlfriend long ago going down on me!
She had me mad with desire and loved to play with my rather large balls as she sucked me.
This one time I could feel her warm hands gripping my nuts where they attach to my body...but I could swear I felt a finger near my 'nether region!

Yes! She was slowly making small circles and they moved slowly toward my ass.
It felt wonderfull and as she zeroed in on my tight opening I was getting to turned on to stop what I finally knew was going to happen!

Her finger grazed my young tight anus
I moaned
She pressed her fingertip to the fleshy meat and rubbed

I moaned louder

She pushed
I held my breath

Her fingertip slid inside me

Oh my God I thought!

She slid deeper and my cock pulsed as it lay between her warm lips

Deeper she went and touched off an orgasm that left me limp for what seemed like an hour!
It was the most intense orgasm I'd ever had as I felt my asshole pulse and tighten around her imbedded finger

 

[Jack Eagle]

Jen,

I agree with you.

My lady finds it a GREAT turn on. I sometimes wake her up with my "alarm cock" just inches from her face. She will from time to time, "assist" with a finger or nightstand buddy.

I don't mean to get too personal, but would he mastrubate in front of you.

If he will, while he is quite excited, gently play with his balls and pass a finger back just brushing his butt hole the first time.

Gradually work up to the lube covered finger insertion after a few more times. Hope he enjoys.

 

[Jack Eagle]

Jen,

Just finished reading a few of the other posts and there are a number of great suggestions.

Good luck....

 

[crazybbwgirl]

This is how I did it:
I gave him a massage. He was laying on his front on the bed. I had massage oil and was working on his back starting at his neck. Slowly working my way down and then I was massaging his ass and upper thighs. He got really relaxed. I just slowly kept rubbing, between his cheeks, lots of oil, all around his ass. And every once in awhile I would just brush against his asshole. He started getting excited. I was very gentle and finally got just the very tip of my finger in there for just a second, pretending I didn't even do it. Eventually he rolled over and we had fabulous sex.

Later he confided that he was very scared when I started playing there. He had some bad experience with a colonoscopy (sp?). But now!?! He loves it, I can use a very tiny vibrator on him while giving head. Its incredible!

 

[Saint inda City]

to put this simply it doesn't seem fair that he can play around with my bumhole but i don't go near his.

forgot to ask.... how does he play around with yours? finger? tongue? fucking it?


just curious, curiousjen.

 

[overthebow]

The shower thing is a good idea, well except for the soapy hand job. It hurts a ton to get soap in the hole at the tip. Just a heads up on that one.

Yeah, don't do soap in his anus. But soapy fingers on the outside are a good idea. Get him used to the idea of being touched there and that it isn't threatening. Sometime, when you are spooning him in bed, put your arm between his legs so that the warmth of your skin is against his anus. If you reach through and spread his buns out with your arm, he will accept being open and vulnerable but still safe with you.

After you have touched his anus a bunch of times, tell him (at sometime other than sex play) that you would like to slide a well lubed finger into it during sex play, but you don't want to freak him out. Don't ask him if you can, because he can say no, and that is that. Tell him what you want to do. Tell him that it is extremely pleasureable and that you want him to feel pleasure from all those nerve endings. Do this sometime while making out with your clothes on, feel him hard and then play with his crotch in general while talking to him.

When you do penetrate him for the first time, make sure that he is adequately warmed up. Don't start off sex play by going for it first. Maybe a hand job with plenty of lube and then kneel between his legs and slide a hand down and massage around. If he freaks out, you have more work to do. But if he trusts you, he will open his legs more and then take your time, be patient and play, play, play, and finally insert.

 

[drew62]

I wish my wife was a willing as you are. I would love for her to play with my asshole, but she isnt crazy about the idea. She loves it when I rim her, but that is the extent of anal play. Apparently previous experience has turned her off from it. Hope your guy eventually lets you get down to it.

 

[curiousjen]

We did it!!!!!

Hurrah!

Thanks for all your advice. it really worked. Actually i hadn't been planning to do it today, but we got kinky and all mistress and slave and it just seemed to be the right time so we went for it!

I had a bit of a panic because i couldn't find his arsehole! It was the angle and the light was bad but i'd never actually thought about where exactly an arsehole is but i just decided not to go with my eyes but to go with my touch and see where it led me,

a massage, lots of lube and nerve and i slowley got one finger inside him. hurrah! and you know what? it was really great. he loved it wants to do it again. soon. hurrah!

So there you go.

cheers guys. you gave me a lot more confidence.

 

[rimmy]

Good for u Jen, I ws going to suggest smoking a joint which loosens up all the muscles and then a nice massage followed by a little licking and then whamo with the finger (just kidding). take it slow and talk him through it

Peace