Is Femdom Real?

[NancyPan]

Ahh cultural thing - guys doesn't have a gender in the UK (or round these parts, anyway). Singularly it does, but plurally it doesn't. No, I don't know why. This is the country where "the dogs bollocks" means "it's/that's really good".

Well! Anyway, let's stop dominating the thread - thanks for the chI did not

I wasn’t reacting to the gender, rather the implication that all 331 million of us can be characterized as a group. If only…

 

[TheF1x3r]

I wasn’t reacting to the gender, rather the implication that all 331 million of us can be characterized as a group. If only…

It's difficult to tell from this side of the pond; nearly all of the news we see out of the US providers is divisive self loathing of one type or another.

Or; what do you mean exactly?

 

[NancyPan]

If only we were all of one mind … sounds like you watch too much Telly. Most people aren’t extremists. We’re just living our lives…. I just think it is a put down to characterize all people from one country (or one race, religion, gender) with broad generalizations as though we all think alike. We don’t.

Now, back to Femdom: my wife is the leader of our house!

 

[TheF1x3r]

If only we were all of one mind … sounds like you watch too much Telly. Most people aren’t extremists. We’re just living our lives…. I just think it is a put down to characterize all people from one country (or one race, religion, gender) with broad generalizations as though we all think alike. We don’t.

Now, back to Femdom: my wife is the leader of our house!

Final words on this

I'm glad to hear that actually, because social media and telly (I seen what you did there!) paints a very glum picture right now.

 

[Intrepid47]

I just logged on to chat and saw some comments in the "femdom" room about the "perverts" there who turn women into a list of fetishes, and who think they're doing the women a favor by "letting" themselves get flogged / pegged / idk...shit on?

i wanted to say thank you for saying something that needed to be said. Taking the time to find out what a woman (or whoever your partner is) wants is the only way to a lasting relationship.

But it got me thinking...

Is Femdom just a category on Pornhub? Are there women who really LIKE to sexually dominate men? I remember watching a sitcom (an episode of Weeds, i think) where one of the characters got pegged by his new girlfriend. It was the first time i ever saw a strapon, but now they get mentioned all the time - on shows, in podcasts, in mainstream articles online).

For me, most of the joy i get from women is from making them smile - in the bedroom or out. If She's not enjoying it, i'm not enjoying it. Which is why i'm currently a service sub...meaning that i enjoy completing projects (painting, cleaning, repairs) or errands for my Mistress. I've also done some programming and web design. All of this is NSA, because that's what i signed up for. i asked Her if she was looking for a sub and She said that She needed some NSA house work done. i accepted, knowing it would always be that way because i enjoy seeing Her smile.

That being said, i would like to find a a d/s relationship where my girlfriend / wife / significant other would, at least occasionally, take the upper hand in the bedroom as well as out.

i've been married once, engaged twice and have dated a lot. i only discovered a few years ago that i enjoy being submissive. Prior to that EVERY sexual relationship i've had has included some d/s play. But it was always (with one notable exception) with me on top. Almost every woman i've known (including one pro-domme) has enjoyed being dominated by a man. i once went for a session with a domme and ended up tying Her up and spanking Her. She complained when i stopped.

So i list myself as a switch. Because i love women. i enjoy making them happy when i can. But i also wish there were more dominant women out there. i've never been pegged (i'm not sure i'd even enjoy it). And i've only been properly whipped tied and flogged once (yes i paid for it). I've never paid for sex, but i couldn't resist when i found a website for a local domme after a simple Google search.

But paying for it also took the fun out of it. i'm not judging the domme. She was amazing and i would really enjoy getting to know Her as a friend. i'm just saying that if what you WANT is for someone to take control, starting the "relationship" by buying Her time and telling Her what YOU want is out of character. Like cheating at sports - you only look like you've won.

i want someone to WANT to beat me...is that so wrong?

And does She exist? I'm sure there are a few out there, but it's gotta be a lonely world for the die hard submissives out there.

And do we need to be kink shaming the "perverts" who just want some nice lady to slap them across the face and then spit in their mouth as they stand there staring?

So my question is this? Is Femdom a passing fad? Is it something that only happens in porn? Like Bukkkake or fisting or gangbangs? Sure, they happen...but not to everyone and not all the time.

Or are women becoming more demanding in the bedroom? Do more of them want to lock up their boyfriend's cock and wear an ankle bracelet with an Ace of Spades pendant so that everyone else knows that She's taking it from whoever she wants? Or are most wives (hot as they may be) happy that they only have to worry about one "pervert"s needs?

Let me know what you think, lit folks? Should i keep logging on to the Femdom room, or is it always just going to be seven dudes and one woman who's wondering why She came into the Femdom room

I'm just finding this years-old post. Very nicely written! Some of the same thoughts and questions that I've had!

 

[PaxNurgle]

^I feel the same way, and have many of the same thoughts.

I was involved with a pro domme for a while and while it was fun, for a while, living out the dreams, it became much less so over time when it became clear that her main "kink' was simply getting me to spend as much money on her as possible- not just the paid-for sessions but ever-increasing demands for expensive gifts.

After a while, I wanted just to spend time with HER as a person, and not just her as a domme, but get to really know her outside of the sessions. Where we truely have respect for each other beyond just a buisness transaction (and me as a cash cow.) Because that would have made the sessions that much more intense when you are submitting to a person rather than just a paid pro. But there was always that barrier that she erected and would not let me cross that line- even casually hanging out during non-paid sessions was never okay with her.

I have seen a lot of women-seeking-men/ "Mistress seeks slave" personal ads, but the relationship they are seeking is often times either pure service oriented (or slavery in the classic, Greco/Roman sense) with neither kink nor romance involved; basically they want an unpaid indentured servant. Or, they are actually kinky, but are pros only seeking clients, just like my previous domme. (Or more often than not; actually probably the majority of "Dominant women seeking men" posts I have seen in fact, were just scammers/bots.) Not what I am looking for at all, and I suspect I am speaking for most submissives here.

 

[emme8]

^I feel the same way, and have many of the same thoughts.

I was involved with a pro domme for a while and while it was fun, for a while, living out the dreams, it became much less so over time when it became clear that her main "kink' was simply getting me to spend as much money on her as possible- not just the paid-for sessions but ever-increasing demands for expensive gifts.

After a while, I wanted just to spend time with HER as a person, and not just her as a domme, but get to really know her outside of the sessions. Where we truely have respect for each other beyond just a buisness transaction (and me as a cash cow.) Because that would have made the sessions that much more intense when you are submitting to a person rather than just a paid pro. But there was always that barrier that she erected and would not let me cross that line- even casually hanging out during non-paid sessions was never okay with her.

I have seen a lot of women-seeking-men/ "Mistress seeks slave" personal ads, but the relationship they are seeking is often times either pure service oriented (or slavery in the classic, Greco/Roman sense) with neither kink nor romance involved; basically they want an unpaid indentured servant. Or, they are actually kinky, but are pros only seeking clients, just like my previous domme. (Or more often than not; actually probably the majority of "Dominant women seeking men" posts I have seen in fact, were just scammers/bots.) Not what I am looking for at all, and I suspect I am speaking for most submissives here.

I do think it is amusing to play with the scammers for fun. See how good they are at their craft.
When I was looking for my Dom, hubby and I found a one that was entertaining. I think "she" was a he, a kid, just trying to collect pictures and videos.

I posed for mediocre pictures, with my face cropped out. Wore huge sunglasses and was very careful of any details or pictures I sent.

But in the trading pictures phase I was watching for the details like the tattoo she had in only some pictures.

It was entertaining for a day or two.

 

[emme8]

And boys keep looking
because there are lots of submissive women who like to really please their partners too. And as much as you truly want to serve a lady. They might learn to switch to meet your occasional needs. Just because they like to watch you enjoy yourself
And if you are loving and willing to learn to meet their needs. They will reciprocate.

 

[Abdelkaoolomocro]

I used to do sessions with a woman that was really enjoying dominating her husband. I mean, I am an experienced master but she sometimes made me think… stop now, he’s had enough.

 

[TheF1x3r]

I used to do sessions with a woman that was really enjoying dominating her husband. I mean, I am an experienced master but she sometimes made me think… stop now, he’s had enough.

I see that on here, sometimes wonder how many of these people are unaware of their subs wellbeing

 

[Abdelkaoolomocro]

I know. When you’re dom you have a big responsibility

 

[4yourpleasureiam]

I love reading words from dominate men and women. You all make me feel so weak and submissive. I live to serve you and make you know you are so important. If you want to hurt me both physically and mentally please do.

 

[Subhubby8986]

We are new to femdom but it is certainly working for us. I have ajob that requires me to be kindly dominant, in charge and "alpha". When I get home collar on and time to give gratitude, devotion, submission and love to my wife.
We have been fighting lately and I was not sure what people had for ideas of how to deal with this. It is especially at the transition from work to home. I want to fully submit but sometimes I flip flop. Any suggestions? I just want to be a good sub. We have tried spanking, orgasm control and most of the usual....thank you all

 

[NancyPan]

We are new to femdom but it is certainly working for us. I have ajob that requires me to be kindly dominant, in charge and "alpha". When I get home collar on and time to give gratitude, devotion, submission and love to my wife.
We have been fighting lately and I was not sure what people had for ideas of how to deal with this. It is especially at the transition from work to home. I want to fully submit but sometimes I flip flop. Any suggestions? I just want to be a good sub. We have tried spanking, orgasm control and most of the usual....thank you all

Confused as to how/why you’ve been fighting if you are truly submitting to her. Sounds like you are fighting with what it means to truly submit. Elise Sutton, who I believe coined the term “loving female authority,” wrote about resoving disputes by taking her husband to the bedroom, cuffing is hands to the headboard, and dropping her panties and sitting on his face until he started to worship her. When she was satisfied, she would pull up her panties and leave him there for a bit to reflect.

Since we agreed on FLR, we rarely argue. When I have made this mistake, I apologize. Sometimes I am given a consequence, sometimes it does extend my denial, but I rarely argue.

 

[artslut86]

It's one thing to submit. Another to allow mis treatment or unfair treatment. Then u r just a punching bag or a pussie