Is he/she into you

[My Own Way]

So I recently read that book "He's just not that into you" by the Sex in the City writers....and while I think it's a good book and had a lot of useful advice if I listened to everything they said, no guy I've ever dated...or even met for that matter...was into me. So my question is this...

How do you know if a guy/girl is into you? And how do you generally let him or her know you're into them??

 

[EJFan]

there's a TRUCKLOAD of body language and whatnot that you could learn about and look for but it's hardly worth it. there's no real cookie cutter format to try to figure this out because it's different for everyone.

i think the more important thing is to identify the people you're NOT into, or those who are not into YOU. after you eliminate those possibilities, just have fun with the opportunities that are left. do what comes naturally and have fun with it. dating is a fun experience as long as you don't take it too seriously. when "the right one" comes along everything'll just fall into place on its own... but you have to let it happen without overanalyzing things. sometimes that's the hardest part, just letting go of the urge to control things.

 

[Bobmi357]

Want to know if someone's really into you?

You know he's into you when he travels half way across the country to see you and when he gets there, and you get sick, instead of going off to sulk in some corner, he takes care of you, gets you to a doctor, gets you your medicine etc...

Simplified format.

You know he's/she's into you when he/she wants to be around you even when you can't have sex for reasons of illness, stress, montly craziness. Love is wanting to be with someone even after the sex is done. Love is an hour of great sex and 8 hours of sleeping in the arms of someone and feeling totally safe and secure. Love is trusting enough to lower all your barriers and just knowing that the other person would never hurt you.

 

[NaiveOne]

I also just finished reading this book! Great thread. I'd like to know the answers myself.

Overall, I tink the main point of the book was to make sure we realize that we are WORTH being totally loved, cared for, and adored. That we deserve to have the best relationship possible. And not to waste our time on a guy who isn't into us- whether we are dating the loser or waiting for him to like us back!

 

[Willing and Unsure]

You know he's/she's into you when he/she wants to be around you even when you can't have sex for reasons of illness, stress, montly craziness. Love is wanting to be with someone even after the sex is done. Love is an hour of great sex and 8 hours of sleeping in the arms of someone and feeling totally safe and secure. Love is trusting enough to lower all your barriers and just knowing that the other person would never hurt you.

this makes me totally in awe of you Bob.

 

[hausfrau]

Bob rules. His post defines "into you" in a nutshell. All the rest is goofy bullshit.

 

[SweetErika]

He wouldn't touch me sexually when I was drunk. He called his mom for advice and took me to the hospital when I was in pain. He drove an hour and a half to visit me and pick me up from the hospital and met my mom before we really knew eachother. He stayed by my side through pain and hormone induced insanity even though he was convinced I would never like him as more than a friend. He was kind of goofy and got all nervous around me. He was a friend in every sense of the word.

That's how I knew he was into me.

 

[Bobmi357]

Well said Erika.

The sex is icing folks. As much as we all like the icing, you can't do it 24/7. Its all about seeing the other person as a person you want to be around, even when there's ZERO chance of sex happening. Its about a friendship so deep it leaves you in awe and breathless.

Its about your friend being able to touch you in ways that move your soul. Its about holding someone and realizing that you've been moved in ways you never knew were possible.

 

[tigerjen]

I'll have to go read that book now

Man I remember back in college, my boyfriend at the time
gave me his track-ball mouse (because he got a better one
for himself for his Mac) as I wanted a track-ball......and it
worked like a charm! He was also into me by imparting
his knowledge on how to download dirty pix (again, back
in those college days) from the 'net......and for free.....
heeheehehehee......when I had a tummy bug, he brought
me crackers and ginger ale so I wouldn't have to go out
and get them myself.

It's the little things