IS TEXTING CHEATING?

[JerseyJugHandler]

If you are engaged in text exchanges with a person of your preferred sex, but are keeping that fact concealed from your spouse/partner/SO, are you cheating on them? The texts are simple, innocent, friendly exchanges, with no openly sexual content or undertones—nothing racy, saucy, or naughty. There is no pressing reason to hide the texting connection from your SO, yet you keep it that way.
I’m not asking that you make a moral judgement here between right or wrong , just a simple choice:

CHEATING or NOT CHEATING

Feel free to give reasons for your decision, especially if you feel strongly about the issue.

 

[frappingwilly]

Friendly texting with the opposite sex is fine, not sure why anyone would hide that unless they have privacy boundaries.

Obviously that causes friction and "what are you hiding" it's not cheating but it is eroding trust.

 

[Mewalkabout]

I text woman that have no secret undertone besides friendship but I hide it from wife. I know no matter what she gets jealous of any female connections i have. So no cheating

 

[Chillygirl]

If you have to hide it or lie about it it’s cheating.

 

[MightyMilly]

If there is no sex involved, why bother texting? Yeah, go ahead and cheat, why not, I do it every time Iog onto LIt.....

 

[ShinyCrazyDi]

If it's what's described in OP's post, why hide it from your partner? What's there to hide?

If you feel like you HAVE to hide it, that's another conversation about communication etc.

I used to look down on monogamous couples who shared passwords etc. I used to defend the idea it's healthy to have secrets (& I think it's true that most people have at least one or two). But a friend of mine recently said "imagine if your wife had a locked safe in your house that you weren't allowed to know the combination to or ask about? Even if it was full of Pokemon cards, it would be weird." & I've been musing on that a bit lately. It feels a bit like the story of Bluebeard.

I'm currently in a semi-open relationship where it's not an issue that I keep my devices locked but now I wonder if I'd rethink it if I ended up in a serious committed relationship one day.

 

[ShinyCrazyDi]

I text woman that have no secret undertone besides friendship but I hide it from wife. I know no matter what she gets jealous of any female connections i have. So no cheating

That sounds like a different kind of problem in a relationship. Something about emotional maturity & regulation/trust/communication etc. Sorry you're dealing with a jealous partner.

 

[Hornymwtxn]

Not cheating.

Just a way to spice up the homelife a bit and hopefully open up the communication channel with the SO.

 

[Mewalkabout]

That sounds like a different kind of problem in a relationship. Something about emotional maturity & regulation/trust/communication etc. Sorry you're dealing with a jealous partner.

Yup, thank you

 

[ydahecnot]

IS ALL-CAPS YELLING?

 

[ToPleaseHim]

What is and isn’t cheating will vary by person and relationship. If you have to hide it, then you are doing something that you believe would bother your partner.

 

[ToPleaseHim]

IS ALL-CAPS YELLING?

Always.

 

[Hornymwtxn]

What is and isn’t cheating will vary by person and relationship. If you have to hide it, then you are doing something that you believe would bother your partner.

I "hide" it because it would serve no purpose to reveal it and she wouldn't care anyway.

 

[TheMrBurns]

Super easy way to find out:

"Hey SO, if I were having text conversations of a non-sexual nature with someone of my preferred gender and kept it from you, would you consider that cheating?"

They will give you their answer based on their boundaries. If they consider it to be cheating, then it's cheating. It is genuinely that simple. If you don't consider it cheating and do it anyway, then you're cheating on them.

So now you know. And knowing is half the battle! Go Joe!

 

[FreckledSprite]

If you are engaged in text exchanges with a person of your preferred sex, but are keeping that fact concealed from your spouse/partner/SO, are you cheating on them? The texts are simple, innocent, friendly exchanges, with no openly sexual content or undertones—nothing racy, saucy, or naughty. There is no pressing reason to hide the texting connection from your SO, yet you keep it that way.
I’m not asking that you make a moral judgement here between right or wrong , just a simple choice:

CHEATING or NOT CHEATING

Feel free to give reasons for your decision, especially if you feel strongly about the issue.

If I felt the need to hide it I would feel it was a form of cheating.

I platonically text a handful of men whom I collaborate on projects with. I don’t always share the details of the texts but on occasion I’ll tell my husband, Dave just texted and gave this feedback. Kenny msged with this suggestion. My college sweetheart just mansplained me through messenger and if we were in person I would’ve throat punched him. I don’t view this as cheating.

I do sext with other men, conceal it and call it cheating.

 

[ToPleaseHim]

I "hide" it because it would serve no purpose to reveal it and she wouldn't care anyway.

No judgement from me. I am someone who has cheated in the past (long story, not something I would ever do again, but it happened). But there are reasons people hide things and the hiding of a behavior from one’s spouse or partner is almost always because it would bother them. Otherwise, there’s no reason to hide it.

An established open relationship with agreed upon parameters that included no need to disclose details, that would be an example that makes sense and isn’t cheating. If it hasn’t been discussed and agreed upon as okay, I believe hiding such interactions is cheating. No moral judgments or anything like that implied.

 

[AlexBailey]

IS ALL-CAPS YELLING?

Do italics have sensual overtones?

Is colored text more explicit?

 

[JerseyJugHandler]

IS ALL-CAPS YELLING?

By precedent set by our President, it's emphasized TRUTH.

 

[Ynotnow69]

in a sexless marriage but after many years of deep conversations, finally figuring out, She is serious about not wanting /needing any intimacy. She has told me to find that elsewhere. She trusts me to do that discretely but doesn't care to have the details thrust in her face. So it feels a little like cheating but I have permission. So I am always searching for ways to lessen the horniness, writing stories, watching porn, or engaging here. Live people to engage with is still the most fun.

 

[JackKingOff]

Man, this post has been in my mind and some of the responses in it have been mulled over a lot in my head pretty much all week. In part because I borderline the two. So I guess the thing I have to do, is ask for the definition of cheating. Once that is defined the line becomes a but more clearer, until then, there are a excuses, circumstances, personal views, and past experiences that muddle and can be different for everyone.

 

[_BassAckwards_]

If you have to hide and then ask strangers...well...you know the answer.

 

[StillRain]

My take is if your partner is aware of who you’re talking to and is okay with it then that’s that.

If you’re hiding it coz you know they just wouldn’t like it, if you’re hiding it because you’re dipping your toes over those lines you’ve drawn every now and then, if you’re blatantly/ or are about to jump right into a thing… then yeah it’s cheating. In my mind anyway. if your heart and emotions are involved the hell yes.

If you’re not transparent with your partner it’s a problem. A lie by omission is still a lie and has the potential to damage the trust built in a relationship.

 

[Iwanttotry7777]

Not cheating

 

[Iwanttotry7777]

Maybe it depends on a few factors, how long you and partner have been together. How much you trust each other. Sometimes in a relationship one partner loses interest in having sex, while the other is left wondering what is the appropriate thing to do.

 

[Iwanttotry7777]

My wife is sick with a sinus infection because of the pollen starting here in Florida. I was sitting on the couch with her earlier masturbating in front of her. She went to bed now and she knows that I’m on literotica reading, writing or texting. Her sex drive isn’t as strong as mine these days