Is this unusual?

[onebadkitty]

Exactly. This is what feminism means to me. If you want to have a career, have a career. If you want to stay at home with your kids, then do that. If you want a career AND kids, then more power to you. The point is that you have a choice, and you don't have to justify it to anyone.

Amen, sister-friend

 

[Etaski]

undomiel: i'd recommend against surgery. consider: it's pretty invasive and on the off chance you decide in the future that you feel differently, it's harder to reverse than a vasectomy, i understand.

ed

I agree with Silverwhisper, and wanted to add something, "word to the wise"-like. Though I have not undergone tubal ligation ("getting the tubes tied", or slicing and cauterizing the ends of the Fallopian tubes to prevent an egg from being accessible), both my mother and older sister have, and they did it for health reasons (my mother had plenty of kids and was getting older--pregnancy would have been unhealthy for her, and my sister was having problems with blood clots in her legs that were pregnancy-related).

From what my mother and sister have told me, a doctor may try to describe both tubal ligation and vasectomies as "same day" surgeries and equal in their effectiveness. But a vasectomy doesn't require a surgeon to cut through the abdominal muscles and stitch them back together, as in tubal ligation. It took almost two weeks for my mother and sister to heal (with no little amount of pain) and they were unable to get out bed (let alone go to work) for the first week, whereas my father was okay in two days (except perhaps for some lingering tenderness). Tubal ligation is also much more expensive than a vasectomy.

I am not against the surgery (I may choose the same path when I get older), but I *am* against doctors who try to convince women that tubal ligation and vasectomies are the same thing for different sexes. Not to the degree of invasivness! Getting the tubes tied is probably a good option for many women who are finished reproducing for whatever reason, but please don't let anyone tell you to take it lightly. It should be carefully considered.

 

[rakastuja]

Currently I dont think I could be a mother...

And good thing is that I dont really even want babies (wait 5 more years my friends say).

Kids are scary.

 

[Eilan]

Getting the tubes tied is probably a good option for many women who are finished reproducing for whatever reason, but please don't let anyone tell you to take it lightly. It should be carefully considered.

I agree.

I opted to have a tubal in late 2003 when my youngest was three months old. My husband and I made the decision together; we opted against a vasectomy for personal reasons that I don't want to go into here, but it had NOTHING to do with his being a wuss! For what it's worth, I wanted to be in control of MY fertility.

My procedure was done laparoscopically, and I was sore, but not bedridden, for about eight days. I couldn't lift, so my husband had to miss a few days of work to help out with the kids. My belly was bruised for about a month. No stitches, just steri-strips, and my scars are no more than 1/2" long.

I have no regrets. But, again, it's NOT for everybody. My intent here is to share my experience, not try to push my decision on anyone else.

You may now return to your regularly scheduled topic.

Amen, sister-friend