Jessie's Girl Syndrome... How many of you.....?

[Jade]

OH, and Creamy... does his wife know? (just curious)

Officially, no. Unofficially, it is acceptable, as it is understood that I do not covet her position, and am discreet. No awkward phone calls, no visits to him in "her" part of town, etc.

As I said, I do not recommend this arrangement. We are older, and this kind of quasi-steadiness suits us. If anyone is looking for an exclusive partner, and has problems with possessiveness, avoid this kind of relationship altogether. It can really bite.

Creamy:

Sorry to be such a pain but I have more questions....

1) So, how often do you see each other

2) Do you ever think you will "end up" with him?

3) Do you ever picture yourself with someone else or do you always want to maintain the relationship you have and the man you have it with now for the rest of your life?

Thanks... sorry for being so nosy...
but does it ever make you feel "de-valued" in any way? I was wondering only b/c you mentioned you would "run for the hills" if things were to change in such a way to where most women in your position (stereotypically speaking that is) would run "into his arms!"

 

[Jade]

NEVER: I am not sure I understand what you are saying?

Why are all women "off limits?" Do you have some sort of "Rogue-like" disease or what?
Please explain....?

 

[CreamyLady]

Jade --

We see each other at least twice a month; sometimes weekly, sometimes maybe a longer gap. For instance, he's going on vacation next week, and I won't see him again until mid-September.

By the way -- that's fine with me. I have a real bitch of a class starting next week, and have every intention of getting a running start. Men are distracting.

As for "ending up" with him -- no, I don't. We suit each other's needs very well, but if those needs change, the relationship will, too. He will probably need more care, eventually, than I could ever give him; he has MS.

He also has an entire lifetime with his wife; they have children, and friends, and family. Under the best possible circumstances, any "permanent" connection would be awkward.

I don't see myself as a suitable candidate for any permanent, committed relationship, frankly. I'm not domestically inclined, I really like my own company at times, and I didn't have a great model for it when growing up. I know the model was horrible, and skewed, and could very likely work at a better one -- but I just don't think I have it in me. I have no great associations with the word "wife."

I don't really feel demeaned by the relationship, either. We have fun, he is very intelligent and good company, and the needs are met.

 

[Bushido71XS]

I think part of it has to do with your own ego. You see an attractive woman, or man, and think to yourself: What do I have that he/she doesn't have?

Or you might think that the relationship is totally wrong for the person.

Yes, I have had desires for attached women that I have known, but at the same time I know they are off-limits.
I guess you could put the whole thing down to the forbidden fruit syndrome.

You know it's bad for you but you just can't resist thinking about what the apple would taste like.

 

[Jade]

You know it's bad for you but you just can't resist thinking about what the apple would taste like.

Most excellent analogy Bushido!

 

[Bushido71XS]

Thanky Jade...Hey what's up with stealin' a line from my song???LOL

 

[Jade]

Thanky Jade...Hey what's up with stealin' a line from my song???LOL

Didn't know that was your song but look.. now I picked a song that CAN'T be anyone's song ... not on here anyway!

 

[Never]

Ahhh. Well. I have been accused of sucking the fun right out of the air.
I meant all the women I know are straight.

 

[Endlessly]

Oh man.. I am crying up a storm right now.. And I don't know why.

Figured this was the place to post why.. Remember that minister friend I said I lusted after earlier in this thread?

Lately the guilt at church has been driving me up a wall.. I've been coming out of church miserable and convicted, wondering why the hell I can't change. He and I had been talking about sin a lot lately, and finally I told him I needed his help and advice.. He's one of the people I'm closest to at church. It was so hard I couldn't even tell him to his face. (This isn't the minister from my re-virginization thread. That was a hell of a lot easier, he was almost a perfect stranger. Not from my church.)

So anyway, I sent him an E-mail.. Outlining everything. The fact I write stories here, my fascination with BDSM, my bi-curiousity.. It was a fairly brief E-mail actually, but it took me two hours to write because it was just so hard.

I finally got a reply today. He's been struggling with porn addiction for years, it turns out. The letter was perhaps the most encouraging and uplifting thing anyone's said to me in a long time.. Towards the end he said something along the lines of how it was good he got married before I allowed him this close to me, or we'd both be headed straight to hell.

I don't know if I'm crying because of relief, jealousy, or regret. I'm just.. uh.. crying.

Maybe this belongs on the 'silly stuff that makes you cry' thread instead?

I don't know why I felt the need to share with you, especially considering the fact he may read this BB-- didn't tell me what sites he frequents. But.. Other than when I got the guts to press the 'send' button on that E-mail.. I don't open up to people about my sexuality other than here.

 

[Never]

Relief perhaps. When you've know people for a long time exposing yourself can be horrible. Mind racking, emotionally exhausting. Hearing the words, "I don't hate you, in fact, I still care for you." Or any variation thereon can exhilarate you but first your body, your mind, has to expurgate all those pen up emotions.
That's my experience at least.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Yes, I've been there before, I'll be there again.

 

[Thor's Hammer]

wanting the unattainable..or at least damn hard to get is normal, I think. It sounds corny, but I never cheated on either of my wives (I'm in my second and LAST marriage). Have I been attracted, you bet! Each of us sets our own boundaries. I would never judge someone that "jumped over the fence." Unless you walk in the shoes....you cannot really understand.

The answers to this question have been open and direct. Thanks to you all for some "interesting" reading. The mind is truly the most erotic organ in the body.

 

[Jade]

I don't know if I'm crying because of relief, jealousy, or regret. I'm just.. uh.. crying.

Endlessly,

We all need to cry ...it is a necessity of human life.

Maybe this belongs on the 'silly stuff that makes you cry' thread instead?

No... it was supposed to be "silly."

I don't open up to people about my sexuality other than here.

Neither do I really. It took a lot of guts to do what you did, it must have been a hell of a release getting all that out too.

If you ever need anything you know my email door is always open.

Luv you little sistah.

 

[SeXy ReDHeD]

Yes I have...

Well, kinda.

One of my friends, "S" had had a small crush... maybe it couldn't even be a crush... never that intense...on this guy. He was cute, sweet, and innocent. I had never really found him attractive in any way, but after she decided she liked him, he became more desirable... my best friend and I ended up seducing him.

Does this count (as in "do crushes count?")??

 

[KillerMuffin]

Uh huh, I have lusted, drooled and ruined many a pair of undies over some off limits men. I have a thing for SOGs, they drive me wild. The one that I nearly broke both article's 134 and 125 of the UCMJ with, however, was an officer, an Army captain with a gorgeous green beret and even more gorgeous appearance personality and physically wise. He thought I was pretty nifty too. Told me so. Even if I was a lowly E3 squid.

Me and the hubby were about 30 seconds from splitsville and temptation resistence isn't exactly my strong suit. The only thing that really stopped us was the tour at Club Fed in Ft. Leavenworth Kansas.

It never happened, but it's really really nice to think about what might have been, particularly with the relief that it never was.

 

[April]

The one that I nearly broke both article's 134 and 125 of the UCMJ with

Uh, which ones again? Just to refresh my memory, that is. I'm pretty sure I've broken at least one of those, and I would like to know which one! LOL