Judgy Pants 😮

[Shi_One81]

I’m only judging you for not posting in my inbox! **though maybe it would help if I messaged you first.

I don’t reach out first. I just gaze at you from across the room and telepathically tell you to find my inbox.

 

[MedicalMuse]

Meh. If someone judges you then they’re probably not people you want to hang out with anyway…
Fuck em.

 

[fullservice65]

I try not to judge -- part of that "lest ye be judged" stuff. Unless it's something dangerous or downright mean to another poster, I just pass by.
If I like something, I'll "like" it -- that's my positive judgment.

 

[Mrtenant]

Do you feel you are or would be judged for posting on certain threads throughout the Lit boards?

This is something I struggled with for years on here, should I or shouldn’t I post? If be had some salacious posts I’ve made thrown back in my face and was most definitely judged. Has that happened to you? Or are you the one doing the judging?

Discuss…

I don't at all. Some probably do, but, I don't care too much.

• There is a certain freedom to posting here.
• And, we are all complicated.
• I can be totally self contradicting all in one day and think nothing of it.
• Text is limiting in expression, so it's all as best as we can.
• If anyone needs clarity, they can ask me, I'm not a senseless brainless buffoon.
• If people want to judge me poorly and the way their interaction with or about me reflects it without trying to clarify, then fuck em.
• My time on Lit is limited. I choose to be here with my limited time. I don't have the bandwidth to care overly much about judgy people

 

[Qky75]

If my self-worth was measured by what people thought of me or by the amount of reactions I received to online posts, I suppose public judgement would matter a great deal - but it doesn't. Additionally, if it did matter so much, is have been destroyed long long ago.

 

[SassySheDevil]

Everyone judges. All the time.
Anyone who claims not to isn't being honest with themselves. Or they just haven't spent enough time in reflection to be aware they are doing it.
It's inadvertent. It's just part of being a member of our shared species.

The issue isn't with judgement.
Judgement from one individual to another, especially between people who are essentially strangers, is irrelevant.

The problem with an individual judging another, especially in open forums like this one, is the often malicious attempt to isolate, influence or cause harm to another based on their character, actions or feelings.

Make your judgements carefully and in silence, then choose to associate or disassociate.

Love this!

 

[RosewoodTulip]

My first few months of being active I happily posted wherever seemed interesting or fun. But then I started getting stuck in my head about it and now the amount of threads I visit regularly has shrunk and the ones I do go to are relatively "safe"

Part of it is because I worry that me expressing myself will just invite unwanted attention and part of it is me worrying that if I show a different side to what people are used to with me that I might not be as accepted.

When I joined I loved the freedom of being totally anonymous but now I've been around a while and made some friends it feels different.

But I am a black belt at overthinking and maybe no one gives a shit about it

 

[Love_Is_Blonde]

I think it has to do with my headspace. Am I in a good place or not? I can get so wrapped around the axle with my thoughts about whether it would be appropriate or welcomed if I posted somewhere, if I know enough about a subject, who the host of the thread is.. you name it. If I can psyche myself out, I will. Other times, I am much more laid back and just enjoy Lit for Lit, and post where I want to. I enjoy it so much more when I’m in that frame of mind.

 

[Saltfountain]

My first few months of being active I happily posted wherever seemed interesting or fun. But then I started getting stuck in my head about it and now the amount of threads I visit regularly has shrunk and the ones I do go to are relatively "safe"

Part of it is because I worry that me expressing myself will just invite unwanted attention and part of it is me worrying that if I show a different side to what people are used to with me that I might not be as accepted.

When I joined I loved the freedom of being totally anonymous but now I've been around a while and made some friends it feels different.

But I am a black belt at overthinking and maybe no one gives a shit about it

Speaking as one who was judged and found very wanting, I understand how you feel. As you know it took me a fuck of a long time to get back on the horse, and my capacity for trust has been severely diminished.

However, you are one of the most universally liked people I've met in here. The only things I ever hear people say fall into one of two categories:

1) she's just the nicest person
2) I miss her

Yes, you will get unwanted attention, but that comes with being someone people see as a positive force, just as much as a negative force. Just because the attention is there doesn't mean you have to respond to it. You owe no one anything here. You owe yourself everything.

I'm proud to call you my friend

 

[Mo_Bandy]

Who pays enough attention to even give a fuck?

 

[Saltfountain]

Who pays enough attention to even give a fuck?

I guess people who aren't as confident about themselves as you.

Or people who've been hurt in the past

Or people just looking for acceptance

 

[jazzykoi]

Im new here hello everyone.

 

[TemptationTango]

Everyone judges. All the time.


Make your judgements carefully and in silence, then choose to associate or disassociate.

^this

 

[Mo_Bandy]

I guess people who aren't as confident about themselves as you.

Or people who've been hurt in the past

Or people just looking for acceptance

Sorry but it just gets way too middle school like for me. I could not name one e-romance here and I am pretty goddamn thrilled about it.

 

[lacandy]

My first few months of being active I happily posted wherever seemed interesting or fun. But then I started getting stuck in my head about it and now the amount of threads I visit regularly has shrunk and the ones I do go to are relatively "safe"

Part of it is because I worry that me expressing myself will just invite unwanted attention and part of it is me worrying that if I show a different side to what people are used to with me that I might not be as accepted.

When I joined I loved the freedom of being totally anonymous but now I've been around a while and made some friends it feels different.

But I am a black belt at overthinking and maybe no one gives a shit about it

I completely agree with everything here.

Once you’ve been here for a while and people have formed some sort of opinion about who you are on these boards it’s hard (on a mental level - for me anyways) to venture into other areas that seem…out of character?

The funny thing is that that thought process totally defeats the purpose of why I started here in the first place! But it’s built into who I am and I can’t change that (even being anonymous on a sex site apparently!)

 

[Saltfountain]

Sorry but it just gets way too middle school like for me. I could not name one e-romance here and I am pretty goddamn thrilled about it.

I don't think I mentioned an e-romance.

You asked why people care what others think about them. I answered that.

The thread is about whether people feel judged when they post in certain threads, not when they have a litlationship

 

[~Elizabeth~]

Too often to count but I don't care anymore. Life is too short to waste on what others think.

 

[Xxllrs69xx]

Everyone has a right to be opinionated. You should be able to say what you feel. I purposely avoid some forums because either the topic does not interest me for more often it’s clearly full of unhinged people. Also be prepared to take responsibility for what you say if it causes offence.