Just one Line.

[tenyari]

From my current inwork:

"Well, I just... right here, in the open? And with another woman? Some gringo no less?" the woman stated with some concern in her voice.

"I'm not a gringo; I'm Canadian," Pepper whispered in mock offense. Gringo actually meant anyone from an English country, not just the States. But we humored Pepper anyway. Not like I was any more Mexican than her; I wasn't even from the same planet.​

- That second line doesn't yet read naturally to me.

 

[gunhilltrain]

From my current inwork:



- That second line doesn't yet read naturally to me.

I hope I don't sound like, annoying, but that's eight lines, not one. Maybe it should it should be "just one paragraph." A single line is hard to do without at least a bit of explanation for context.

 

[tenyari]

I hope I don't sound like, annoying, but that's eight lines, not one. Maybe it should it should be "just one paragraph." A single line is hard to do without at least a bit of explanation for context.

While the very first post in this thread calls for one sentence (and then also begs people not to go on the attack after each other), that poster then responds with a 'line' that is two sentences...

 

[Duleigh]

From my current inwork:



- That second line doesn't yet read naturally to me.

I always thought "Gringo" meant "Not Hispanic"

 

[gunhilltrain]

While the very first post in this thread calls for one sentence (and then also begs people not to go on the attack after each other), that poster then responds with a 'line' that is two sentences...

I know, I actually have two lines if you want to count the explanation. A lot of people here have two or more. It's really hard to have a disconnected single line that makes any sense. Even Dickens' first line in "A Tale of Two Cities" works best if one knows it refers to the French Revolution.

 

[MillieDynamite]

Pushing his fingers into the moist insides, he wondered why he'd asked Chief to bake the engagement ring into her desert, a bad idea when the damn thing was sheet cake.

 

[MillieDynamite]

Explanation, I wrote a single line that needs no further explanation.

 

[MillieDynamite]

Why I felt the need to explain, the line, needed no explanation is beyond me.

 

[gunhilltrain]

Why I felt the need to explain, the line, needed no explanation is beyond me.

Perhaps that was the intention of the original poster, that a line could exist and be self-explanatory. Probably some lines could do that, although the idea itself sounds pretty good until one actually tries it. Also, maybe I need more coffee, but on my two passes of it I still don't get that sheet-cake reference. I mean, she's wearing the ring I assume but he's putting his fingers into her. (Is he wearing something on his fingers?) Also, does baking the ring change the physical structure or shape of the ring, and what difference does the type of cake make?

I know I'm being way too literal-minded, but that's what happens without any context.

P.S.: The thread started five years ago and I think I earlier responded to it, but I can't remember what or when that was.

 

[MillieDynamite]

Okay, they brought the whole fucking sheet cake out for them. He has no idea where in the cake it is, so he must finger his way through the warm, moist cake, inch by inch. So, I guess it did require a little more explanation. I also understand that you were ribbing me.

 

[Bubo_bubo]

I refuse to give an explanation.

We barely needed to strike any blow, but it would take some time before we would be able to forget the screams and the smell of burnt meat, like barbecued pork.

 

[MillieDynamite]

I refuse to give an explanation.

We barely needed to strike any blow, but it would take some time before we would be able to forget the screams and the smell of burnt meat, like barbecued pork.

Reminds me of Davey Crockett's speech in Alamo 2004

The Creeks had rose up and raided into Alabama and massacred a bunch of folks at Fort Mims. 'Course that was big news in those parts, so I joined the militia. I was just about your age. I did some scouting, but I mostly hunted for the cook pot, things of that nature. Anyway, we caught the Creeks in their main village. This Creek woman shot one of our men, so we drove them into the main house and set it on fire. All night we listened to them screamin' as they burned to death. The next morning we were sifting through what was left and we found a cellar full of potatoes. Them taters had been cooked by the grease runnin' off them burnin' Injuns. We hadn't had anything to eat for a few days except parched corn, so we fell to and ate til we was full. Ever since, when somebody passes the taters, I pass 'em right back.

 

[gunhilltrain]

Okay, they brought the whole fucking sheet cake out for them. He has no idea where in the cake it is, so he must finger his way through the warm, moist cake, inch by inch. So, I guess it did require a little more explanation. I also understand that you were ribbing me.

Well, I did assume - wrongly - that he was fingering her, not the cake, although the construction of the sentence does indicate that the cake was indeed it. Maybe I should just read the story.

 

[MillieDynamite]

Well, I did assume - wrongly - that he was fingering her, not the cake, although the construction of the sentence does indicate that the cake was indeed it. Maybe I should just read the story.

I haven't written the story yet. LOL, just that line which may be the opening of the story.

 

[gunhilltrain]

Reminds me of Davey Crockett's speech in Alamo 2004

The Creeks had rose up and raided into Alabama and massacred a bunch of folks at Fort Mims. 'Course that was big news in those parts, so I joined the militia. I was just about your age. I did some scouting, but I mostly hunted for the cook pot, things of that nature. Anyway, we caught the Creeks in their main village. This Creek woman shot one of our men, so we drove them into the main house and set it on fire. All night we listened to them screamin' as they burned to death. The next morning we were sifting through what was left and we found a cellar full of potatoes. Them taters had been cooked by the grease runnin' off them burnin' Injuns. We hadn't had anything to eat for a few days except parched corn, so we fell to and ate til we was full. Ever since, when somebody passes the taters, I pass 'em right back.

Oh, it's a movie about the Alamo made in 2004, not a story called "Alamo 2004" (time travel?). Anyway, how many times has that been made into a movie?

A bet most Americans don't know that the Alamo was inside Mexico, and that the Texas were immigrants from the United States. It was one of those cases, so common in history, where whoever wins the battles gets the land.

Also, you never see movies about the Mexican-American War of 1846-48, although some dramatic things did happen in that. It would probably have to end with the Americans storming Mexico City - I think both Robert E. Lee and Ulysses Grant were there as young officers. Kind of bummer of an ending, even though the Americans won.

 

[lovecraft68]

From My Friend's Hot Mom; Taste of Sin.
"I've learned the only way to get most young men to say 'Oh, my god', is to show them my tits."

 

[MillieDynamite]

Ulysses Grant suffered from Hemophobia, kind of a massive bummer for a man who worked in a slaughterhouse run by his father and saw so much bloodshed in his life. Also, when he married his wife, her father gave him a plot of land and two slaves to work it. He immediately set the slaves free, which kind of alienated him from his daddy-in-law.

 

[gunhilltrain]

I haven't written the story yet. LOL, just that line which may be the opening of the story.

Okay, now I know why I couldn't find it. I'm pretty sure I've never had the opening line written first and then t just hung there for a while.

By the way, I hope that story about Davy Crockett and the potatoes was fictional.

 

[MillieDynamite]

Okay, now I know why I couldn't find it. I'm pretty sure I've never had the opening line written first and then t just hung there for a while.

By the way, I hope that story about Davy Crockett and the potatoes was fictional.

I'm not sure, it was in the movie which, of course, claimed to be the most accurate ever filmed. But screenwriters being screenwriters, who knows?

 

[MillieDynamite]

Okay, now I know why I couldn't find it. I'm pretty sure I've never had the opening line written first and then t just hung there for a while.

By the way, I hope that story about Davy Crockett and the potatoes was fictional.

Yes, it is true. Davy Crockett, Still King of the Wild Frontier

Crockett’s hunting escapades were interrupted when, in August 1813, Creek Indians slaughtered some five hundred settlers at Fort Mims, Alabama. Along with other young men of his region, he responded with rage to the atrocity and joined the militia in answer to General Andrew Jackson’s call to arms. His service in the Indian war was not particularly distinguished, but he did often act as a scout because of his experience in the woods. Although his “dander was up” as a result of the massacre, he took little pleasure in fighting the Indians and found himself unsuited to the life of a soldier.

On November 3, 1813, he participated in the brutal massacre of the Indian population of Tallussahatchee. Crockett had little stomach for such one-sided slaughter, later noting that “we now shot them like dogs; and then set the house on fire, and burned it up with the forty-six warriors in it.” More than two hundred Creek men, women, and children perished before Jackson’s men reckoned that Fort Mims had been avenged and began to take prisoners.

The starving soldiers then searched the ruins of the Indian cabins for food, which led to an almost cannibalistic meal as related by Crockett. “It was, somehow or other, found out that the house had a potato cellar under it,” Crockett recalled, “and an immediate examination was made, for we were all as hungry as wolves. We found a fine chance of potatoes in it, and hunger compelled us to eat them, though I had a little rather not, if I could have helped it, for the oil of the Indians we had burned up on the day before had run down on them, and they looked like they had been stewed with fat meat.” Such stomach-churning work was a bit rough for Crockett, and as soon as his ninety-day enlistment was up, he headed for home, thus missing Jackson’s final triumph against the Creeks at Horseshoe Bend in Alabama on March 28, 1814.

 

[gunhilltrain]

Ulysses Grant suffered from Hemophobia, kind of a massive bummer for a man who worked in a slaughterhouse run by his father and saw so much bloodshed in his life. Also, when he married his wife, her father gave him a plot of land and two slaves to work it. He immediately set the slaves free, which kind of alienated him from his daddy-in-law.

My quick perusal of this is that it was a tannery, but I guess tanneries and slaughterhouses go together, although I am not up on the business. Apparently he did dislike it so he was given a job driving a wagon.

Ironic that he was referred to us "The Butcher" because of the casualties his army suffered during the Overland campaign of 1864

 

[Duleigh]

My quick perusal of this is that it was a tannery, but I guess tanneries and slaughterhouses go together, although I am not up on the business. Apparently he did dislike it so he was given a job driving a wagon.

Ironic that he was referred to us "The Butcher" because of the casualties his army suffered during the Overland campaign of 1864

Ulysses S. Grant's real name is Hiram Ulysses Grant. Ulysses S. Grant was a clerical error when he enrolled at West Point. He had such a low social standing that he didn't feel he had the right to correct the error.

 

[MillieDynamite]

Ulysses S. Grant's real name is Hiram Ulysses Grant. Ulysses S. Grant was a clerical error when he enrolled at West Point. He had such a low social standing that he didn't feel he had the right to correct the error.

The official West Point listing of his middle name was Simpson, which was his mothers maiden name. Yeah, I learned that from my father. He was a history minor in collage in the way bygone days of the 1970s. I think my father had told me the story Crockett related in the movie was true when we watched it a few years back.

 

[Duleigh]

The official West Point listing of his middle name was Simpson, which was his mothers maiden name. Yeah, I learned that from my father. He was a history minor in collage in the way bygone days of the 1970s. I think my father had told me the story Crockett related in the movie was true when we watched it a few years back.

I didn't start college until after I "graduated" from the military and ate up every history class I could grab. In the history of WWII I wrote my term paper on the book The Wild Blue by Stephen Ambrose, the author of Band of Brothers. The book was a disaster, Ambrose was close friends with George McGovern who flew B-24 bombers, so he decided to write about McGovern's flying career. Unfortunately for Ambrose, McGovern flew 35 combat missions, not all of them were "Milk Runs" but this was definitely not "Memphis Belle" material. Ambrose also plagiarized, he had taken passages from Wings of Morning: The Story of the Last American Bomber Shot Down over Germany in World War II, by Thomas Childers.

I roasted the book, called it a travesty far below what Ambrose was capable of, and accused him of being too starstruck by a politician. I accused Ambrose of taking one chapter of story and padding it out to novel length by hyperventilating over George McGovern. I handed my paper to my professor who looked at it and said "I can't wait to read this, Steven Ambrose is a close personal friend." OOOOPS!

In the end I got an A and the professor's note said, "I totally agree."

 

[shakna]

If either of her parents thought she was giving up, and not getting to the bottom of that particular story, they were living in an actualised personal reality. She wasn’t going to get it by going after them like a railgun, though.