Just the punchline...

[midwestyankee]

"I'm Puddles."

 

[TheeGoatPig]

You know, you really piss me off when you get drunk, Superman.


(it's a god thing this topic is only about punchlines, because I can never remember just how that one goes ).

 

[Guest]

The woman says, "So do I. You've been eating grass for the past ten minutes!"

 

[Guest]

He leans over to her and says, "You never told me that your father was a pharmacist".

 

[midwestyankee]

He leans over to her and says, "You never told me that your father was a pharmacist".

You win the rubber with this one, sss.

 

[Guest]

You win the rubber with this one, sss.

 

[midwestyankee]

"You're in a balloon, you damned fool!"

 

[gauchecritic]

...then my dad said "Beautiful, fucking beautiful."

What I've just seen I'm not coming back till next term.

I couldn't tell if it was nun or ku klux klan

I don't know there's a power cut.

Is that why my knickers have C&A printed on them?

 

[Lady_Guenivere]

'Do you have a dentist appointment tomorrow too?'

 

[midwestyankee]

"I'll have what she's having."

*not technically a punchline so much as a gorgeously funny movie line well delivered

 

[Stella_Omega]

"I'm Puddles."

Isn't that; "I'm Bubbles"?

So the psychiatrist says; "Don't brush them off on me!"

 

[jomar]

They're called The Aristocrats!

 

[john-the-author]

Oh, outSTANDING, Jomar!

 

[slyc_willie]

". . . and she stepped on the ball . . . ."

Not exactly a punchline, since the joke was never revealed in the movie, but I like the context in which it was delivered.

 

[Huckleman2000]

"And where I come from, we have three kinds of turds: Mus-turd, Cus-turd, and YOU, you big turd! RUN, BRUCIE, RUN!"

 

[sadangel]

It's just that simple. Doesn't have to be a good joke (those can be even better BTW), only the punchline.

"If I could walk like that, I wouldn't need Vaseline."

My favorite: DUH, Big red TRUCK!!

*wonders if anyone knows the joke the punchline goes too*

 

[togitc]

My favorite: DUH, Big red TRUCK!!

*wonders if anyone knows the joke the punchline goes too*

Told that one the other night

punchlines:

Bet your ass I'm not having cheerios.

Left testicle tied to bed post.

His ass.

Well, I thought it would be loud so I covered my other ear with my hand.

 

[Handprints]

"Fifty bucks, same as in town."

The version I know goes: "Fifty bucks, Your Eminence, same as in town."