Kink advice

[CompletedXvids]

Hi folks. Really appreciate any help.
Just hoping for some tips, I'm looking to book a European city break just a night or two, my wife and I are pretty vanilla as a couple but I'd like to subtly push her boundaries and see where it goes.
Truth be told id be up for anything, very much including seeing her with another guy, but I can't just go in like a wrecking ball.
Any ideas of kinky saunas, stores hotels etc. maybe somewhere not so in your face or strictly advertised as a sex club?
Obviously I'm not coercing her or anything, first sign it's not for her it's over and we'd leave, I just think and hope that under the right circumstances she'd try something new.

 

[njlauren]

Never been there, but you may want to research Amsterdam, they have a number of clubs from what I recall around sexual themes, ranging from BDSM clubs, swingers clubs to erotic caberet and of course have erotic boutiques (or did). Worth doing a search on it, ask an AI prompt or something

 

[Rob_Royale]

I'd start small. Like a clothing optional, lifestyle friendly place. If she's not cool getting naked in such a situation, your odds of anything more intimate are nil.

 

[y=mx+b]

Broken link

Hold on...

 

[y=mx+b]

Click

 

[LMWM321]

I think you're reaching to think your wife will go from "pretty vanilla" to wanting to have sex with another guy in front of you without any sort of prior discussion about it. I think the more likely outcome is your wife will feel very distressed by you putting her in the position of having to call a halt to what seems like a setup. Or, worse, she goes along with it just to please you, which could linger in her memory like a sexual assault.

My recommendation: Tell her what you're planning and what you're hoping for and ask how she'd feel about it.

Sorry... but just sayin'

 

[Britva415]

I'd like to subtly push her boundaries

Don't do this without talking to her about it first.

And own it: Don't project onto her. Be honest that you're the one who wants to explore kink. Do not dress it up like it's about her unexplored kinks. She MIGHT discover something she likes, but she has to willingly and consciously be the one who decides to explore that. She MIGHT discover that she's willing to go along with certain things for your sake, but it's your thing, not hers. She MIGHT say "hell no" but at least she wasn't disrespected and robbed of the opportunity to express that before it's in her face.

Don't be manipulative. That's just toxic. Don't give her a reason to doubt her trust in you and your love for her.

 

[LaBreia]

I think you're reaching to think your wife will go from "pretty vanilla" to wanting to have sex with another guy in front of you without any sort of prior discussion about it. I think the more likely outcome is your wife will feel very disoriented and destabilized by you putting her in the position of having to call a halt to what seems like a setup. Or, worse, she goes along with it just to please you which could linger in her memory like a sexual assault.

My recommendation: Tell her what you're planning and what you're hoping for and ask how she'd feel about it.

Sorry... but just sayin'

Yeah. I think you gotta talk about it.

 

[JaysonFromMars]

I would suggest talking about some of these scenarios as playtime fantasies without the intent to make them reality to begin with. See if it turns her on to imagine playing with another guy (or girl). You could use toys, maybe a dildo while she’s sucking you and talk about her getting fucked. It doesn’t have to carry the intent of moving right to IRL (in fact it shouldn’t). Then, if you’ve had some play sessions where she liked some of the ideas as fantasies, your could ask her of she would ever want to try anything like them in real life. But you need to be genuinely ok with whatever her answer is. And it may change over time (in either direction.) Time and open play and communication are much better that surprising her with a trip to a swingers club. Good luck!

 

[CompletedXvids]

Thanks for taking the time to reply, I do appreciate it.
I may have oversold the 'vanilla' aspect, we have never played around or done anything in real life but about a year ago I did finally mention a few fantasies including her being with someone else and it was discussed at the time, up to the point where she actually allowed me to contact someone and for a few days we traded messages and some discreet photos which was incredible. Although it never actually happened, I always felt that it peaked her interest and when she told me that it wouldn't happen her reasons were always more to do with me not actually wanting it in real life/not being able to handle it.
As I said originally I'd always respect her wishes, we're in our 30's and been together a long time I wouldn't risk that by pushing it.
Since then it's only ever been mentioned a couple times, very off handed and by her not me and that's why I was thinking that perhaps she might respond to it under the right circumstances.
Again thanks for the responses.

 

[lifeis2short2b]

I think you're reaching to think your wife will go from "pretty vanilla" to wanting to have sex with another guy in front of you without any sort of prior discussion about it. I think the more likely outcome is your wife will feel very distressed by you putting her in the position of having to call a halt to what seems like a setup. Or, worse, she goes along with it just to please you, which could linger in her memory like a sexual assault.

My recommendation: Tell her what you're planning and what you're hoping for and ask how she'd feel about it.

Sorry... but just sayin'

Are you out of your mind ?

This is an intelligent answer ! A guy like this is not looking for common sense, they are looking for support.

What's wrong with you ?

 

[davion2308]

There is plenty to try before you go from pretty vanilla to her having sex with another person. If you're staying in a liberal part of the country, try some light exhibitionism or exposure first. Have her wear something sexy out, maybe no bra, and just try that experience. See what it's like to be around others, if other people is your kink, where there's no threat, there's no physical contact with anyone else, just you enjoying her being seen by others. See how she feels about that before you start talking anything else sexually.

have fun!

 

[Britva415]

As I said originally I'd always respect her wishes

Yeah but you also said originally something that sounded like you were going to manipulate her into a spot intended to move her boundaries.

Don't conceal your intentions. Be transparent about them before creating the boundary-pushing situation.

 

[CompletedXvids]

Yeah but you also said originally something that sounded like you were going to manipulate her into a spot intended to move her boundaries.

Don't conceal your intentions. Be transparent about them before creating the boundary-pushing situation.

Subtly push her boundaries, apologies if that sounded icky that's not what I meant. Not entirely sure how to word it, but basically the idea was in the right setting etc if options were available/presented and she seemed interested I'd be able to show encouragement.
But the general consensus is to be more upfront again and I can understand that, duly noted. Thank you again anyone who took the time to read and respond.