Ladies: Are you exploring or questioning your submissiveness?

[pink_ivory]

well, I definitely got hot under the collar.

 

[Noviceseeking]

Truly, echoing. This is beautiful and enticing. Especially for a new sub wide eyed trying to undertsand the complicated desires and thoughts running counter to their waning vanilla mindset...

 

[Smirken]

I keep coming back to this post. Enticing. Well written. Sighhhh. How I want all of this in someone local. Thank you for understanding.

 

[curvyangel1969]

beautiful post. as many have already stated. very touching.
Thank you.

 

[mary_aranxia]

I'm very impressed by this ad; and I wish that I were looking for someone just now.

All the best to you and yours Blase!

 

[rubydlite]

Hmmmm... this sounds...lovely....but far

 

[Euphoriakitten]

I agree that this is so beautiful! It made my heart flutter...awesome.

 

[tease_me_please_me]

gosh blase..you sound fantastic!!! how old are you

 

[Phoenix052]

I'm just starting to explore.

Not sure what I'm looking for if anything, but I'm intrigued and slightly scared of the prospect.

 

[Neverwood]

Girl who thinks she might be submissive but whose vulnerability was taken advantage of....sounds like me all right. I'd love to explore my submissive side, especially since I'm one of those girls who seems so good but can be so bad, but there are so many guys who say that they're Doms and are just using the BDSM as a cover for being abusive.

 

[Blase]

... there are so many guys who say that they're Doms and are just using the BDSM as a cover for being abusive.

When I first wrote this ad, I was thinking of a submissive friend who got involved with a Dom who wound up treating her unfairly - outside of their playtime. So many people just don't seem to get that most submissives are people who have actual self-esteem: Yes, they do want to submit, but they want that to happen in an agreed-upon context with someone they respect - who also respects them. Even though some of the normal courtesies between friends and lovers are very deliberately set aside at the right times.

I'll tell you something interesting about the responses I've gotten to this ad: People who I wind up playing with are often surprised that I can actually do what I say I can. Yes, girls, I can in fact make you blush. I can in fact make you shiver as you think Oh, my God, I can't believe I'm doing this. That's because, as you're exploring your submissiveness (under my guidance), I'll be exploring you... and I'll make what I find part of our play.

D/s doesn't have to be abusive to be strong stuff. Even online, it can be as pure, simple and terrifying as letting yourself fall and trusting that I'll be there to catch you.

Blase

 

[babyjane20011]

nice post can we chat

*EDIT, MOST OF FIVE YEARS LATER*

I'm leaving the ad below as it is for now, because it represents a snapshot of the way I was feeling and thinking at a time when I had only recently realized an interest in D/s. I wouldn't write it the same way today (to get an idea of what has changed, see post #15), but it still says a lot of true things about me and about what I have to offer. And it has actually served me pretty well, these last few years...

So, please feel free to have a look at what my voyage of discovery has been like. And then, if you're a girl seeking a guide on her own journey, ask yourself if the hand to draw you onward, the voice to whisper into your ear might be mine.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hello, ladies, and welcome to the ad I never thought I'd write.

I originally came to Lit looking to read erotica, and stayed to write it in SRP threads.

Sub-Dom play? What about it?! I'd never been involved in it and never gave it much thought since, frankly, many aspects of the scene (e.g., the desire to cause a lot of physical pain) just don't resonate with me.

Imagine my surprise, then, when *all* of my early SRP partners turned out to either be self-identified subs or have submissive tendencies! I had realized an aspect of my fantasy life that I had been largely unconscious of.

I realized something else, as well. A lot of female subs, especially inexperienced ones, were experiencing rather shabby treatment from guys who called themselves Doms but who might be more accurately described simply as jerks.

So, I am placing this ad because I have come to see that I may, against all expectations - especially my own - have something to offer here.

Here's what I'm offering, in the full expectation that this ad will be one that interests the few, rather than the many...

I'm seeking girls (women) who would like to be dominated but NOT looked upon as my inferiors, cursed at or called nasty names, or treated unfairly, outside of the agreed-upon inequality implicit in our play or perhaps, to some extent, in our relationship outside of our "formal" playtime.

This would be all online, at least initially, though I'm not ruling out possibilities like phone or even real life should the chemistry be there.

It's got to be obvious, but let me state for the record that very submissive subs or girls who really want to feel personally degraded should NOT apply, as we will only frustrate each other.

My style falls mostly under the heading of "light humiliation", where I have you do deliciously indecent (largely sexual) things and simultaneously confront you with your own indecency, so that you're blushing to the roots of your hair even as that blush is mottled by the deeper flush of your impending orgasm.

Maybe I should mention that you have to take off your clothes a lot.

So, there you have it. If you're a female who's been hurt but still wants to explore her submissiveness in a gentler context, or if you're inexperienced and perhaps have been afraid to try...

Think about this ad. Feel free to read my writings in the SRP area (especially Backstage). See if you feel yourself responding to my fantasies and my imaginative, intellectual style. If so, contact me and let's talk.

No need to be scared. But trembling is allowed...

would you like to chat.

nancy

 

[Blase]

Anyone who thinks that erotic comics are just smut has not seen the work of Milo Manara.

 

[Nzerxx]

"Come to me and I'll show you yourself.

Come to me and offer me what you have. Offer me what you're afraid to give.

If you're shy, offer me your shyness. If you're afraid, offer me your fear.

Come to me with your curiosity, your nervousness, your fantasies, your doubts, your hopes... and lay them all at my feet.

Come and offer them all to me, offer me yourself... then take my hand. Take my hand and we'll talk, and laugh, and as we talk and laugh I'll draw you onward, and teach you...

Come to me and I'll show you yourself.

I'll show you yourself from the moment of

'I don't know if I can'

to

'I can't believe I'm doing this'

to

'I want to give everything you ask for'

to

'See me now. Yours with no shame.'"

Blase

D/s doesn't have to be abusive to be strong stuff. Even online, it can be as pure, simple and terrifying as letting yourself fall and trusting that I'll be there to catch you.

got my attention! *swoon*

 

[MaBelle3120]

What I would say to a girl today is

"Come to me and I'll show you yourself.

Come to me and offer me what you have. Offer me what you're afraid to give.

If you're shy, offer me your shyness. If you're afraid, offer me your fear.

Come to me with your curiosity, your nervousness, your fantasies, your doubts, your hopes... and lay them all at my feet.

Come and offer them all to me, offer me yourself... then take my hand. Take my hand and we'll talk, and laugh, and as we talk and laugh I'll draw you onward, and teach you...

Come to me and I'll show you yourself.

I'll show you yourself from the moment of

'I don't know if I can'

to

'I can't believe I'm doing this'

to

'I want to give everything you ask for'

to

'See me now. Yours with no shame.'"

Blase

That is so beautifully expressed... wow

 

[Kittyscave]

Hello, all.

I haven't posted in quite some time, but felt compelled to respond to Blase. What wonderful tribute/ad you have created.

It seems to me you seek a girl/woman who has attained the level of insight you enjoy - or at least possesses the where-with-all to achieve it.

I believe many women - myself included - who seek submissive roles, do so out of frustration with a lifestyle that demands her control in numerous realms. The woman you describe is intelligent and possesses self-worth. She's likely an alpha female who has adjusted to earning respect through her intelligence and command. She has likely noticed men no longer respond to her sex appeal as they once did - and if they did, they wouldn't dare demonstrate it to her. This is a double-edged sword.

She doesn't want humiliation or degradation, but she wants a certain level of sexual objectification and demand from her Dom. She wants to be seen as a sexual being capable of sending a controlled man over the edge. Moreover, she wants her sex "taken." To willingly abdicate it is difficult and may promote guilt. But, a man commanding enough to make her feel like a wanton woman, who will tie her up so she isn't preoccupied with doing the "right thing" and reciprocating, who will take what he wants so she needn't feel she's demeaned herself, is one who would make an ideal sub to you. And, what a fortunate sub she would be!

Just my $.02 as I think out loud.


K

 

[Blase]

That is so beautifully expressed... wow

Whoa, go a few days without checking in on Lit, and you never know what you'll come back to!

Thank you for your kind words, MaBelle!

 

[Blase]

...I believe many women - myself included - who seek submissive roles, do so out of frustration with a lifestyle that demands her control in numerous realms. The woman you describe is intelligent and possesses self-worth. She's likely an alpha female who has adjusted to earning respect through her intelligence and command. She has likely noticed men no longer respond to her sex appeal as they once did - and if they did, they wouldn't dare demonstrate it to her. This is a double-edged sword.

She doesn't want humiliation or degradation, but she wants a certain level of sexual objectification and demand from her Dom. She wants to be seen as a sexual being capable of sending a controlled man over the edge. Moreover, she wants her sex "taken." To willingly abdicate it is difficult and may promote guilt. But, a man commanding enough to make her feel like a wanton woman, who will tie her up so she isn't preoccupied with doing the "right thing" and reciprocating, who will take what he wants so she needn't feel she's demeaned herself, is one who would make an ideal sub to you. And, what a fortunate sub she would be!

Thank you for your kind and thoughtful comments, Kitty.

The girl/woman who come to me does in fact tend to be intelligent and have a good sense of her own self-worth, probably because (as I like to think) my ad makes it pretty clear that girls who are hardcore masochists, or who just want to be told how worthless they are, will find no great satisfaction in interacting with me. There is, as you essentially said, a tremendous gap between being made to feel wanton and being made to feel worthless.

With that said, she is seldom exactly the high-powered alpha female that you speculated (my oblique approach tends to confuse people who have been trained to equate dominance with extroverted aggression). More usually, she is someone who wants to explore, which may mean exploring her submissive desires, exploring her sexuality, exploring the sexual possibilities that D/s relationships offer, or even more generally exploring herself and how she relates to the wider world.

Some of what I just said may sound unlikely, or even silly, but the truth is that, as human beings, our sexuality is central to the way we experience ourselves, and the way that others relate to us. No, it's not the *most* important thing, but if your sexuality, or some aspect of it, does not feel well understood and comfortable... it's likely that you'll have many times when other things feel off-kilter too.

The question then becomes, where is the guide with whom one may safely explore, when exploration can lead to such vulnerable places?

My answer is that if our erstwhile explorer is hoping to find playful intelligence, conversation, laughter and affection to go along with an ability to draw out aspects of herself that she does not easily reveal, and a profound appreciation of her as both a person and a sexual being...

I may know someone who can help.