Ladies, would dating a glamour photographer be confronting?

[waratah]

How did you get that from what she said?

She said it meant you had a kind of shitty job, not that it was intimidating or anything.

Your issue might be with your active listening skills, not with your employment. Like you might be looking at this problem from the wrong angle.

She said it was a red flag. Not too big a leap to ASK if that was same as confronting. And she later said it would kill interest. I dont think my comprehension skills will benefit from much you've got to say.

 

[CandiCame]

She said it was a red flag. Not too big a leap to ASK if that was same as confronting. And she later said it would kill interest. I dont think my comprehension skills will benefit from much you've got to say.

To be confrontational or to confront something is to try and start a fight or resolve a problem in a blunt way. It can't really be confrontational to say, "Oh by they way I take glamour shots, I'm a photographer."

I mean I guess unless you stood up, slammed both hands on the table and screamed it.

Anything can be confrontational if you're a dick. But any kind of portrait photography is going to be working with the public so generally you can't be a dick and have any kind of success. Especially one as family friendly as glamour photography. They make a lot of their money off kids playing dress up.

Which now that I think about it... a single man working in an industry that is well known for taking pictures of kids who want to enter beauty pageants... you know, I never stopped to think about that but I am starting to see why the other poster said that was creepy. Like it's not creepy by it's nature, but it has the potential to go real south real quick, doesn't it?

Jesus I've gotta start keeping my eyes open.

 

[Aglaopheme]

this dude doesnt have a hobby, it was nothing more than a line to see if he could get to the sexytimes faster

 

[dolf]

The way you use the word "confronting" is ugly, clunky and improper.
It's like that horrible thing people do with addiction/addictive/addictive. Cookies are addictive, not addicting.
Actually, it's worse than that.

Oh, and taking pics of stranger clunge isn't threatening, it's just a bit slimy sounding. I'm picturing sweat patches and bald patches, glamour not included.

 

[CandiCame]

The way you use the word "confronting" is ugly, clunky and improper.
It's like that horrible thing people do with addiction/addictive/addictive. Cookies are addictive, not addicting.
Actually, it's worse than that.

Oh, and taking pics of stranger clunge isn't threatening, it's just a bit slimy sounding. I'm picturing sweat patches and bald patches, glamour not included.

I was thinking that too, but I get ESL vibes so I thought it might be a language thing. Like... I think if you conjugated it right it'd be "confrontational", right?

 

[dolf]

I was thinking that too, but I get ESL vibes so I thought it might be a language thing. Like... I think if you conjugated it right it'd be "confrontational", right?

It's still not the right word. It's passive, having a job outside of the relationship, taking pictures of willing subjects, so it's not confrontational. It could be a source of conflict within the relationship, it could be seen as threatening to monogamy, but it's not confrontational.

 

[CandiCame]

It's still not the right word. It's passive, having a job outside of the relationship, taking pictures of willing subjects, so it's not confrontational. It could be a source of conflict within the relationship, it could be seen as threatening to monogamy, but it's not confrontational.

I mean just grammatically.

I honestly don't understand how it could be 'confronting' or 'confrontational' like... in terms of reality and practical application. Like he's gonna be wrong about that no matter how he conjugates it, I was just saying that the word in that sentence ought to be "confrontational" rather than "confronting".

Like the sentences:

"Would this be confrontational?" makes more sense as a sentence than, "Would this be confronting?"

 

[waratah]

I was thinking that too, but I get ESL vibes so I thought it might be a language thing. Like... I think if you conjugated it right it'd be "confrontational", right?

Thanks, i cant use esl as an escuse for my words though, unless you consider "Australian" as a different language.

Confronting was a poor word choice. The concept i was wanting to hear about, from ladies, is " all else being equal/satisfactory, would the concept of me photographing tasteful nudes and glamour as a hobby cause you to lose/reduce interest?"

Background, about 80 photoshoots, with about 60 girls, doing TF shoots. Good enough not to have to pay, not good enough that I'm being paid for them.

(There's been enough genuine answers above, amongst the shit, to have felt I'm right going forward
talking about golf, hunting and cycling instead)

 

[CandiCame]

Thanks, i cant use esl as an escuse for my words though, unless you consider "Australian" as a different language.

Confronting was a poor word choice. The concept i was wanting to hear about, from ladies, is " all else being equal/satisfactory, would the concept of me photographing tasteful nudes and glamour as a hobby cause you to lose/reduce interest?"

Background, about 80 photoshoots, with about 60 girls, doing TF shoots. Good enough not to have to pay, not good enough that I'm being paid for them.

(There's been enough genuine answers above, amongst the shit, to have felt I'm right going forward
talking about golf, hunting and cycling instead)

You do nude glamour shots? Is that a thing? I've never heard of that.

Doesn't that defeat the point of a glamour shot? Half the fun is the wardrobe. That's why I compared it to playing dress up.

 

[waratah]

You do nude glamour shots? Is that a thing? I've never heard of that.

Doesn't that defeat the point of a glamour shot? Half the fun is the wardrobe. That's why I compared it to playing dress up.

About a third are nudes (nature nudes mostly, but some studio), about a third boudoir style and about a third swimwear or casual fashion.

 

[dolf]

Start doing pet portraits. Cute puppies. Everyone loves cute puppies. And potential dates won't picture you whacking off to them.

 

[Noor]

Thanks, i cant use esl as an escuse for my words though, unless you consider "Australian" as a different language.

Confronting was a poor word choice. The concept i was wanting to hear about, from ladies, is " all else being equal/satisfactory, would the concept of me photographing tasteful nudes and glamour as a hobby cause you to lose/reduce interest?"

Background, about 80 photoshoots, with about 60 girls, doing TF shoots. Good enough not to have to pay, not good enough that I'm being paid for them.

(There's been enough genuine answers above, amongst the shit, to have felt I'm right going forward
talking about golf, hunting and cycling instead)

all things being equal I would lose interest in a man who photographs nudes as a hobby.

I should also say that I avoid musicians whenever possible. An Occasional musician will sneak in somehow, but they have to be pretty bright and spectacular in other ways so I don't actually notice they are a musician until it's too late.

I like trains, with me you could talk about trains. I suggest you feel them out and see what they like to do, and then see which of your interests might mesh.

 

[waratah]

all things being equal I would lose interest in a man who photographs nudes as a hobby.

I should also say that I avoid musicians whenever possible. An Occasional musician will sneak in somehow, but they have to be pretty bright and spectacular in other ways so I don't actually notice they are a musician until it's too late.

I like trains, with me you could talk about trains. I suggest you feel them out and see what they like to do, and then see which of your interests might mesh.

Thanks, would you mind saying why that lead you to lose interest?

 

[notfeasance]

Start doing pet portraits. Cute puppies. Everyone loves cute puppies. And potential dates won't picture you whacking off to them.

You forget; he is Australian.

 

[CandiCame]

About a third are nudes (nature nudes mostly, but some studio), about a third boudoir style and about a third swimwear or casual fashion.

Nature? Boudoir?

Ok real talk, Glamour Photography must have a COMPLETELY different context, must be a completely different thing in Australia than it does here in the US. The reason another poster compared it to school portrait photography is because here the things you're describing aren't glamour shots.

And I don't know that people who do glamour photography would also do boudoir photography because it would kill the glamour business if your clientele found out. Glamour photography is REALLY family friendly, the client base is conservative, and it's super popular with kids. They're located in a place like a strip mall or JC Pennys, and the appeal is that they do hair, makeup, and wardrobe in a specific style that coincides with the pageant circuit's preferred aesthetics.

These are glamour shots (or adults, that I got off Google, I won't post kids here but a lot of the clientele is kids), and is exactly what I think of when I think Glamour photography. The teenage girl in Napoleon Dynamite is a perfect example of what I think of when I think of a glamour photographer.

They're very kind of 1980s glam. It's a specific kind of aesthetics that many people find, as another poster mentioned, kind of lame. But I love it, and a lot of people are into the aesthetic, especially now with the resurgence of this style because of things like vaporwave and Stranger Things.

Guys! This is the jacket! This is the same jacket they gave me in my glamour shots when I was a kid! That's the jacket I described in my other post! The red sequined jacket!

 

[Biggs_Darklighter]

I don't think there are any Glamour Shots studios left. It was a passing fad.

Anyone who says they shoot nudes as a hobby is a liar. They shoot nudes as an excuse to get naked pics of people.

 

[waratah]

Nature? Boudoir?

Ok real talk, Glamour Photography must have a COMPLETELY different context, must be a completely different thing in Australia than it does here in the US. The reason another poster compared it to school portrait photography is because here the things you're describing aren't glamour shots.

And I don't know that people who do glamour photography would also do boudoir photography because it would kill the glamour business if your clientele found out. Glamour photography is REALLY family friendly, the client base is conservative, and it's super popular with kids. They're located in a place like a strip mall or JC Pennys, and the appeal is that they do hair, makeup, and wardrobe in a specific style that coincides with the pageant circuit's preferred aesthetics.

These are glamour shots (or adults, that I got off Google, I won't post kids here but a lot of the clientele is kids), and is exactly what I think of when I think Glamour photography. The teenage girl in Napoleon Dynamite is a perfect example of what I think of when I think of a glamour photographer.

They're very kind of 1980s glam. It's a specific kind of aesthetics that many people find, as another poster mentioned, kind of lame. But I love it, and a lot of people are into the aesthetic, especially now with the resurgence of this style because of things like vaporwave and Stranger Things.

Guys! This is the jacket! This is the same jacket they gave me in my glamour shots when I was a kid! That's the jacket I described in my other post! The red sequined jacket!

I'd say its a completely different thing here. I googled glamour photography images and got a way different style. More lingerie, more boudoir, and some implied nude. I'm much more at home with what my google is showing than yours.

Anyway thats besides the point.

 

[CandiCame]

I'd say its a completely different thing here. I googled glamour photography images and got a way different style. More lingerie, more boudoir, and some implied nude. I'm much more at home with what my google is showing than yours.

Anyway thats besides the point.

It's super not besides the point. The reason me and the other posters were saying that it was a lame hobby is because when someone says "Glamour Photography" this is what we think of. This is what Glamour Photography is for most of the world, so that's what they envision when you say it, not what you're talking about, which is Boudoir. Like everything you're describing is Boudoir, so you can't get pissed when people, like your dates, don't know what the hell you're talking about.

That's why it made absolutely no sense to anyone when you asked why it might be confrontational.

So I googled this, and in Australia, where you said you were from, if I'm not mistaken, there's only three glamour photographers in the country, in Perth, Sydney, and Melbourne, which I guess are cities? Sydney's the only one I've heard of- to be fair to me, I went to American public school- and in Australia it means the same thing it does here. It's just that those studios working in that style can't stay afloat because apparently nobody in Australia wants Glamour Shots, so they do other styles of photography, like boudoir and normal portraits. The reason you're getting boudoir photos when you google 'Glamour Photography' with your location on is because those studios do more boudoir than glamour and you're getting the work of those studios. When I set my VPN to Australia that happens to me to, it's because of how SEO works, they're trying to direct me back to those three studios. But they do still do Glamour shots. It's not as much 80s Glam as it contemporary Glam, which I honestly don't like as much, but THIS is Glmour photography, even in Australia: https://www.aliseblack.com.au/glamour-photography#!

So here's where I'm at in this conversation now: You said you did this as a hobby, and I assumed you meant the way I did stuff as a hobby, that you were interested in something, so you researched it, found out that you liked it, put a lot of money into starting it up, and knew enough about it to be competent, though not professional.

But now, having gone through two pages of this... I think you don't even know what these terms mean. I think the other poster was right, you wanted to get into boudoir, because you thought you might get to see some titties and you're creepy, and you did a quick google search and saw that these Glamour studios were doing boudoir work, so you thought they were the same thing because that is literally all the thought and research you put into this.

If that is the case, and it seems to be- then you're completely misunderstanding your problem. You're not confrontational, you're creepy. You're not scary, you're annoying in a way that is going to eventually get you punched in the face. Nice people will just block you and never talk to you again, and that's the reason you're not getting second dates. But eventually, you're going to run into somebody who's not nice and won't put up with creepy bullshit, and that person is going to hurt you. It's not a matter of "if", it's a matter of "when".

So you're trying to solve the wrong problem. It's not that you're confrontational- and this is how you can tell, people feed off your energy. If you were confrontational, people wouldn't be ghosting you, they'd be fighting you by default and ghosting rarely. Being confrontational is an active thing, you're in their face about it. You get in people's faces, they get right back. Australia is similar to the states inasmuch as the culture is known to be rather more up-front than some other places. Putting that kind of energy out gets it back. When you confront someone, you force them to react to it. And they would have reacted to it. You would have gotten slapped, or a drink to the face, or something like that.

Being creepy is much more passive. Creepy people tend not to be confrontational. They tend to be stupid, kind of quiet, and above all, unpredictable. You don't know if they're gonna get stabby when they're mad. You don't know what the hell they're gonna do. So you think, "Fuck this shit, I'm out" and you get the hell outta there. Because like... could get you flowers, could steal your car. Ain't nobody gonna put up with that.

These are two vastly different energies and they create problems that need to be solved in vastly different ways. Creepy people tend to have a worldview that makes no sense, and because it makes no sense, that it what causes that unpredictability. Most people deal with that by fucking off, because it's more annoying than in-your-face scary. But you will eventually run into somebody who's already had a negative experience with a creepy guy, who can predict how creepy guys act, and who's not putting up with that ever again. And they will hurt you.

So here's how to stop being creepy. Keep these simple guidelines in mind. 1: Women are human people; they're individuals with their own wants, needs, thoughts, etc. They're not photography props. They're people. 2: They don't give a shit about you and nothing you do will ever make them because that ain't their business. You don't exist. Because of that, there's absolutely no reason to do anything to try to impress them. You have to become a whole person, with your own wants, needs, thoughts, etc and then try to find somebody compatible. Getting into something because you think chicks might like it is both stupid and transparent, and the fact that you can obviously turn your interests on a dime makes you fucking creepy because it's A: Unpredictable and B: Fake.

Generally, no hobbies are, by their nature, confrontational. Because even dangerous hobbies lose their danger by the very nature of becoming hobbies, as you learn to be safe and effective (like, for example, my brother is a marksman. His hobby literally involves deadly weapons, but because it IS his hobby, he knows a lot about gun safety. You're safer with him than you are with me, because of the fact that it's his hobby, and therefore, that gun isn't a weapon to him, it's a tool.) You like what you do. You're not using it in transparent and awful attempts to seduce people.

But pretending to be a photographer without knowing the terminology so you can take boudoir shots (while calling them glamour shots) of people you just met is fucking creepy. On a lot of levels. 1: It looks like you see people as props. 2: It looks like you're broke as shit begging on the street for business. 3: It looks like you don't know enough about the business to even be in it. 4: You might be a serial killer using 'photographer' as a very flimsy excuse OR you might be the most incompetent amateur photographer in the world- and those are really the only two choices, neither of which are appealing.

Get a real hobby. One that you actually like. Look inside yourself and find out what your interests are. Then talk to people. Not women, people. As people. Once you start being authentic, you'll naturally attract people who are worth being around. Because you won't be a creepy fuck. It can be lame as shit; it can be glamour photography, or D&D or whatever. All that matters is that you genuinely enjoy it, that you would have fun with it whether or not there were any women watching you do it.

 

[waratah]

It's super not besides the point. The reason me and the other posters were saying that it was a lame hobby is because when someone says "Glamour Photography" this is what we think of. This is what Glamour Photography is for most of the world, so that's what they envision when you say it, not what you're talking about, which is Boudoir. Like everything you're describing is Boudoir, so you can't get pissed when people, like your dates, don't know what the hell you're talking about.

That's why it made absolutely no sense to anyone when you asked why it might be confrontational.

So I googled this, and in Australia, where you said you were from, if I'm not mistaken, there's only three glamour photographers in the country, in Perth, Sydney, and Melbourne, which I guess are cities? Sydney's the only one I've heard of- to be fair to me, I went to American public school- and in Australia it means the same thing it does here. It's just that those studios working in that style can't stay afloat because apparently nobody in Australia wants Glamour Shots, so they do other styles of photography, like boudoir and normal portraits. The reason you're getting boudoir photos when you google 'Glamour Photography' with your location on is because those studios do more boudoir than glamour and you're getting the work of those studios. When I set my VPN to Australia that happens to me to, it's because of how SEO works, they're trying to direct me back to those three studios. But they do still do Glamour shots. It's not as much 80s Glam as it contemporary Glam, which I honestly don't like as much, but THIS is Glmour photography, even in Australia: https://www.aliseblack.com.au/glamour-photography#!

So here's where I'm at in this conversation now: You said you did this as a hobby, and I assumed you meant the way I did stuff as a hobby, that you were interested in something, so you researched it, found out that you liked it, put a lot of money into starting it up, and knew enough about it to be competent, though not professional.

But now, having gone through two pages of this... I think you don't even know what these terms mean. I think the other poster was right, you wanted to get into boudoir, because you thought you might get to see some titties and you're creepy, and you did a quick google search and saw that these Glamour studios were doing boudoir work, so you thought they were the same thing because that is literally all the thought and research you put into this.

If that is the case, and it seems to be- then you're completely misunderstanding your problem. You're not confrontational, you're creepy. You're not scary, you're annoying in a way that is going to eventually get you punched in the face. Nice people will just block you and never talk to you again, and that's the reason you're not getting second dates. But eventually, you're going to run into somebody who's not nice and won't put up with creepy bullshit, and that person is going to hurt you. It's not a matter of "if", it's a matter of "when".

So you're trying to solve the wrong problem. It's not that you're confrontational- and this is how you can tell, people feed off your energy. If you were confrontational, people wouldn't be ghosting you, they'd be fighting you by default and ghosting rarely. Being confrontational is an active thing, you're in their face about it. You get in people's faces, they get right back. Australia is similar to the states inasmuch as the culture is known to be rather more up-front than some other places. Putting that kind of energy out gets it back. When you confront someone, you force them to react to it. And they would have reacted to it. You would have gotten slapped, or a drink to the face, or something like that.

Being creepy is much more passive. Creepy people tend not to be confrontational. They tend to be stupid, kind of quiet, and above all, unpredictable. You don't know if they're gonna get stabby when they're mad. You don't know what the hell they're gonna do. So you think, "Fuck this shit, I'm out" and you get the hell outta there. Because like... could get you flowers, could steal your car. Ain't nobody gonna put up with that.

These are two vastly different energies and they create problems that need to be solved in vastly different ways. Creepy people tend to have a worldview that makes no sense, and because it makes no sense, that it what causes that unpredictability. Most people deal with that by fucking off, because it's more annoying than in-your-face scary. But you will eventually run into somebody who's already had a negative experience with a creepy guy, who can predict how creepy guys act, and who's not putting up with that ever again. And they will hurt you.

So here's how to stop being creepy. Keep these simple guidelines in mind. 1: Women are human people; they're individuals with their own wants, needs, thoughts, etc. They're not photography props. They're people. 2: They don't give a shit about you and nothing you do will ever make them because that ain't their business. You don't exist. Because of that, there's absolutely no reason to do anything to try to impress them. You have to become a whole person, with your own wants, needs, thoughts, etc and then try to find somebody compatible. Getting into something because you think chicks might like it is both stupid and transparent, and the fact that you can obviously turn your interests on a dime makes you fucking creepy because it's A: Unpredictable and B: Fake.

Generally, no hobbies are, by their nature, confrontational. Because even dangerous hobbies lose their danger by the very nature of becoming hobbies, as you learn to be safe and effective (like, for example, my brother is a marksman. His hobby literally involves deadly weapons, but because it IS his hobby, he knows a lot about gun safety. You're safer with him than you are with me, because of the fact that it's his hobby, and therefore, that gun isn't a weapon to him, it's a tool.) You like what you do. You're not using it in transparent and awful attempts to seduce people.

But pretending to be a photographer without knowing the terminology so you can take boudoir shots (while calling them glamour shots) of people you just met is fucking creepy. On a lot of levels. 1: It looks like you see people as props. 2: It looks like you're broke as shit begging on the street for business. 3: It looks like you don't know enough about the business to even be in it. 4: You might be a serial killer using 'photographer' as a very flimsy excuse OR you might be the most incompetent amateur photographer in the world- and those are really the only two choices, neither of which are appealing.

Get a real hobby. One that you actually like. Look inside yourself and find out what your interests are. Then talk to people. Not women, people. As people. Once you start being authentic, you'll naturally attract people who are worth being around. Because you won't be a creepy fuck. It can be lame as shit; it can be glamour photography, or D&D or whatever. All that matters is that you genuinely enjoy it, that you would have fun with it whether or not there were any women watching you do it.

Yeah, nah. But thanks for your missive anyway.

 

[CandiCame]

Yeah, nah. But thanks for your missive anyway.

Well, then continue not getting second dates regardless of which "hobby" you think chicks might like. Because you'll just continue to come across as creepy.

 

[Jing83]

Despite the visual aids above... not sure what a glamour photographer is from a regular one... but back in college (more than a decade ago) I was dating a photographer from the visual arts major. And yes he had me model for him, that’s how we first met. I responded to an ad on the college intranet.

 

[CandiCame]

Despite the visual aids above... not sure what a glamour photographer is from a regular one... but back in college (more than a decade ago) I was dating a photographer from the visual arts major. And yes he had me model for him, that’s how we first met. I responded to an ad on the college intranet.

Glamour photography's not just the photo. You get a whole thing out of it with hair, makeup and wardrobe. The idea is that you get a Hollywood treatment in a particular style. In the states it's like 80s Rock Star, which I love.

When you pay you're not just paying for the photographer, you're paying for the entire experience of feeling glamorous. The idea is that you get a professional makeover as part of the experience. The photo is actually more of a memento of the makeover than the makeover is for the photo.

You get this entire hair, makeup and wardrobe team treating you like a rock star. That's the difference, and that's why it's so fun.

It is considered, as some other posters have mentioned, kind of lame, and a big part of that is because it's so obviously a fantasy. These aren't a real hollywood design team who have worked with real celebrities, and they're not real designer clothes, it's all pretend and you know that.

But I mean, fuck it, I still think it's fun. I'm sad it's dying. I think part of that is that it's so expensive. It's a couple hundred bucks to do.

 

[Jing83]

Glamour photography's not just the photo. You get a whole thing out of it with hair, makeup and wardrobe. The idea is that you get a Hollywood treatment in a particular style. In the states it's like 80s Rock Star, which I love.

When you pay you're not just paying for the photographer, you're paying for the entire experience of feeling glamorous. The idea is that you get a professional makeover as part of the experience. The photo is actually more of a memento of the makeover than the makeover is for the photo.

You get this entire hair, makeup and wardrobe team treating you like a rock star. That's the difference, and that's why it's so fun.

It is considered, as some other posters have mentioned, kind of lame, and a big part of that is because it's so obviously a fantasy. These aren't a real hollywood design team who have worked with real celebrities, and they're not real designer clothes, it's all pretend and you know that.

But I mean, fuck it, I still think it's fun. I'm sad it's dying. I think part of that is that it's so expensive. It's a couple hundred bucks to do.

Almost certainly my experience way back then wasn’t glamor. We did studio, outdoors and beach shoots. I was of course just an amateur, nothing serious, but it was fun. For myself I got a kick out of being ordered around by a tall white guy. And he had decent results with a DSLR so it was win win

 

[Que]

Thanks, i cant use esl as an escuse for my words though, unless you consider "Australian" as a different language.

Confronting was a poor word choice. The concept i was wanting to hear about, from ladies, is " all else being equal/satisfactory, would the concept of me photographing tasteful nudes and glamour as a hobby cause you to lose/reduce interest?"

Background, about 80 photoshoots, with about 60 girls, doing TF shoots. Good enough not to have to pay, not good enough that I'm being paid for them.

(There's been enough genuine answers above, amongst the shit, to have felt I'm right going forward
talking about golf, hunting and cycling instead)

Australia and America: two countries divided by a common language....

 

[waratah]

Australia and America: two countries divided by a common language....

Yup. Didn't Winston say that about USA and GB?