LegendInMyOwnMind
I'm Back
- Joined
- Jan 18, 2018
- Posts
- 672
I'm new to writing for phones, I've always written on a laptop, for laptops, which is the only way I read. Here are two passages from a WIP that are my best understanding of:
1) Optimized for laptop
They met on Sunday, May 16th, 2020, at the Pasadena AllRite pharmacy. It was Thomas's birthday, so the date stuck. The tech behind the counter was new to him, but obviously not new there — she knew the place too well.
She read his prescription and pulled it from a low shelf. "Hello, fellow Taurus, if you believe that bullshit," she said. "30 on April 23rd."
2) Optimized for phone
They met on Sunday, May 16th, 2020, at the Pasadena AllRite pharmacy. It was Thomas's birthday, so the date stuck.
The tech behind the counter was new to him, but obviously not new there. She knew the place too well.
She read his prescription and pulled it from a low shelf.
"Hello, fellow Taurus, if you believe that bullshit," she said. "30 on April 23rd."
Both are in 3PO perspective. Note the difference, and this is for relatively short natural paragraphs.
With longer paragraphs, the difference is worse, How do you other authors manage this divide?
1) Optimized for laptop
They met on Sunday, May 16th, 2020, at the Pasadena AllRite pharmacy. It was Thomas's birthday, so the date stuck. The tech behind the counter was new to him, but obviously not new there — she knew the place too well.
She read his prescription and pulled it from a low shelf. "Hello, fellow Taurus, if you believe that bullshit," she said. "30 on April 23rd."
2) Optimized for phone
They met on Sunday, May 16th, 2020, at the Pasadena AllRite pharmacy. It was Thomas's birthday, so the date stuck.
The tech behind the counter was new to him, but obviously not new there. She knew the place too well.
She read his prescription and pulled it from a low shelf.
"Hello, fellow Taurus, if you believe that bullshit," she said. "30 on April 23rd."
Both are in 3PO perspective. Note the difference, and this is for relatively short natural paragraphs.
With longer paragraphs, the difference is worse, How do you other authors manage this divide?
