Losing Virginity for Gays

[Harrowborg]

Half of me says anal, the other half says when you decide to get naked with a person of the same sex and do sexual acts. Doesn't just have to be about intercourse to be sex.

 

[GaryC]

Since a gay man does not have any seals on his mouth or his anus a physcial virginity does not exist. I do know with myself that the first time i had a penis ejaculate in my mouth and my rectum was a powerful experience in that it cause a shift in my views of myself and the world around me. I think that for myself my "cherry" would be the mental one, the going beyond what I had only thought about and when it happened I was changed.

Maybe that is more of a way to view deflowering. The change from one mental state to another.

 

[Etoile]

Since a gay man does not have any seals on his mouth or his anus a physcial virginity does not exist. I do know with myself that the first time i had a penis ejaculate in my mouth and my rectum was a powerful experience in that it cause a shift in my views of myself and the world around me. I think that for myself my "cherry" would be the mental one, the going beyond what I had only thought about and when it happened I was changed.

Maybe that is more of a way to view deflowering. The change from one mental state to another.

I like your thoughts on deflowering, but what is this about "seals" indicating physical virginity? I guess you are referring to a woman's hymen, but that has virtually no bearing on virginity. If it did, then little girls who ride horses or bikes, girls who masturbate, girls who are simply born a little funny...would all not be virgins. As you indicated, virginity is a state of mind. For most people, that matches with society's view - penis in vagina penetration means you've lost virginity. But as we've discussed in this thread, it's up to an individual to decide about gay virginity. I don't think "physical" virginity has anything to do with it. Then again, Hanne Blank is currently working on a book about virginity, so perhaps we can all read that soon and learn from her research.

 

[mercy's_grace]

It is a load of crap. I think losing your virginity (gay or lesbian) is the moment you decide to go through with it but not necessarily being penetrated. The first time I had a cock in my mouth that was it! I think that was the moment I had actually "lost" my virginity. It wan't until much later that I actually had anal intercourse, but by that time I think it was pretty much a done deal. Call it "innocence lost" or whatever, oral sex to me was it for me. The anal sex part (or penetration) was just "part two" of the whole show. Therefore, is losing your virginity a mental or physical thing? I think it's both.

That sounds basically right to me as well.

 

[Weevil]

I'm watching a show on MTV called "A Social History of Virginity" - which isn't about history at all, it's just a bunch of 20-somethings talking about losing their virginity - and they've got a token lesbian on there. She claims that most lesbians consider having oral sex to be when they've lost their virginity, "because if you're going to have penetration, you might as well be with a man."

Uh, this might be going out on a limb in a stupid tree but do you suppose what she meant might have been that most lesbians consider losing their virginity to be the first time they had oral sex because if you're going to consider the only way you can lose your virginity as being through penetration that you're applying a hetero-normative definition?

That's just how it read to me. It wouldn't surprise me if MTV forgot to choose the most eloquent folks for their show and I doubt any Lesbian, token though they may be, would seriously equate any kind of penetration with being with a man.

Also, forgive me if I mis-used hetero-normative as I've lived in the suburbs now for almost two years.

 

[Teal]

This is how its definded in teh dictionary...type in verginity at dictionary.com click on web then go to the second link.

http://teenadvice.about.com/library/weekly/aa072300a.htm

Thats the link I just felt like pointing to where I found it.

 

[John Doe]

This is a really dumb fucking question.

 

[robbie_boy1]

you're not gay

This is a really dumb fucking question.

they put it in your layman terms so even you could understand it. You do like looking and hearing about sucking cock though. Perhaps you wandered on because you have made that turn in the road...........lets hope........*wink*...just kidding stud

 

[John Doe]

they put it in your layman terms so even you could understand it. You do like looking and hearing about sucking cock though. Perhaps you wandered on because you have made that turn in the road...........lets hope........*wink*...just kidding stud

Are you retarded?

 

[robbie_boy1]

just looked at all your posts

Are you retarded?

you are a flamer..you are her to start trouble and you can't do it with your dazzling personality so you only need to attack..keep your yammer running hot dog..I believe that after anyone logs on to all your posts you will be found out.

I wish you the best

shrink that is........
r

 

[DarkAurora]

I think your first bad sexual experience is really losing your virginity because usually you feel kinda dirty afterwards and thus feel like your innocence was taken.

 

[John Doe]

you are a flamer..you are her to start trouble and you can't do it with your dazzling personality so you only need to attack..keep your yammer running hot dog..I believe that after anyone logs on to all your posts you will be found out.

I wish you the best

shrink that is........
r

A flamer? If you've read even a tenth of my posts, you'll know that's a load of horse shit.

 

[DarkAurora]

Just because you have a lot of posts doesn't mean you're not a flamter. I'm an admin at a messageboard and we've had people who had a lot of posts like you and then after awhile they start flaming everyone's threads.

 

[John Doe]

I think your first bad sexual experience is really losing your virginity because usually you feel kinda dirty afterwards and thus feel like your innocence was taken.

That's a very odd way of looking at it. forgive me if this question is too personal, but were you molested as a child or ever raped?

 

[Etoile]

Uh, this might be going out on a limb in a stupid tree but do you suppose what she meant might have been that most lesbians consider losing their virginity to be the first time they had oral sex because if you're going to consider the only way you can lose your virginity as being through penetration that you're applying a hetero-normative definition?

That's just how it read to me. It wouldn't surprise me if MTV forgot to choose the most eloquent folks for their show and I doubt any Lesbian, token though they may be, would seriously equate any kind of penetration with being with a man.

Also, forgive me if I mis-used hetero-normative as I've lived in the suburbs now for almost two years.

That was a long time ago! I can only speak to your interpretation of what she meant, as I not longer remember exactly what she said. If that is what she meant, though, then I think she was being too narrow-minded about what lesbians can consider losing their virginity. If a young lesbian is really really into penetrative sex but feels her genitals are too dirty for oral sex, then for her penetration is going to be when she loses her virginity. I don't recall that she was saying anything about het-focused views of lesbian sex, though. If she was, then she's going along the same lines as the separatists who think lesbians shouldn't have penetrative sex at all because it's too hetero-centric. People should do what they want to do, and consider their virginity gone when they feel it's gone.

 

[Etoile]

This is a really dumb fucking question.

May I ask why you think so?

 

[Etoile]

This is how its definded in teh dictionary...type in verginity at dictionary.com click on web then go to the second link.

http://teenadvice.about.com/library/weekly/aa072300a.htm

Thats the link I just felt like pointing to where I found it.

http://www.amanita.net/images/smilies/eh.gif

 

[MintSoda]

Personally I think the concept of "virginity" is antiquated and fairly idiotic. Basically "virgin" was a notion that a husband was the first to have his wife in the ancient ancient past. It had nothing to do with how many people the man had been with or what gender those people were, it was simply a way for a man to feel vindicated in his choice of a "pure" wife. Whatever else it has become, it still stems from a man wanting to feel all important to his wife. So to address the Chasing Amy question of "isn't that the standard?" the standard is virginity was designed as ego boosting crap.

People fly planes into buildings, blow themselves up, and perform so many other horrible acts based on the concept that when they die they'll be in heaven with 70 virgins. The idea of virginity has little value other than hurting someone, either by convincing men it means anything or convincing women they aren't pure or worthy if they don't have it.

So I'd say you lose your virginity the second you realize the world isn't a perfect wonderful place.

 

[John Doe]

May I ask why you think so?

MintSoda answered that, but I also think it's stupid because the answer to the question is obvious. Virginity for gays is no different than for straight people or others. For a woman, it's the first time she has vaginal sex. For a man..well same thing, but it's someone else's vagina.

 

[John Doe]

Just because you have a lot of posts doesn't mean you're not a flamter. I'm an admin at a messageboard and we've had people who had a lot of posts like you and then after awhile they start flaming everyone's threads.

What does my post count have to do with anything?

What I said was, if he were familiar with even a SMALL portion of my posts, he would know I'm not a flamer.

 

[deezire1900]

I took flamer in a different way...I could see you in heels and a boa.

 

[Etoile]

For a man..well same thing, but it's someone else's vagina.

I'm still confused, can you clarify for me? Do you feel that a gay man can only lose his virginity by sleeping with a woman? I might be misunderstanding you, so I figured it would be best to ask what you meant.

 

[John Doe]

I'm still confused, can you clarify for me? Do you feel that a gay man can only lose his virginity by sleeping with a woman? I might be misunderstanding you, so I figured it would be best to ask what you meant.

No, I'm saying the only way for a man to lose his virginity is to have sex with anyone who has a vagina.

But it's a moot point, because technically and socially men don't really have a virginity, not one worth worrying about anyway.

 

[John Doe]

I took flamer in a different way...I could see you in heels and a boa.

I don't really like feathery stuff, sorry. maybe just a scarf?

 

[leslie36256]

Personally I think depends on the person. To me, being bi I feel that there is two different virginity. One for your female partner and one for male partner.

I lost my female virginity 2 years ago but only here recently lost my male virginity.