Make your reader climax in 200 words or less

[sereneone4u]

This is a great thread. Interesting to see what people come up with.

 

[lance gt]

Her thick, red hair spilled down over her face, as she bent forward to present her pale skinned ass to me. Just the touch of my fingertips on the smooth skin of her inner thighs, beckoned her to part them and expose the delicate pink lips, pouting with desire to please me whatever way they could. The little gasp in her breath as my finger slid along the slippery surface, was accentuated by the shivering of excitement along her back, beads of perspiration appearing as she felt the desirous heat build inside her loins.
Her essence of arousal filled me with a primal longing to devour her, to savour her sexuality. As my fingers delve and expose, part and display the offered morsel, her soft moans agree with my touch.
Jolts of pleasure shoot into me, shoot into her, as my tongue touches the tiny bundle of nerve-filled skin. Her release of liquid love to me, sinfully slow in coming, is welcomed by my lips as I kiss her intimately.
Throbbing, pulsing spasms of ecstatic delight fill us as our lips meld, our lust sated, your body saturated with fulfillment. I press my face harder into you, wanting to engulf you entirely within me, to own you, possess you.
Your orgasm, my joy to experience, your pleasure my joy to give.

 

[sereneone4u]

Her thick, red hair spilled down over her face, as she bent forward to present her pale skinned ass to me. Just the touch of my fingertips on the smooth skin of her inner thighs, beckoned her to part them and expose the delicate pink lips, pouting with desire to please me whatever way they could. The little gasp in her breath as my finger slid along the slippery surface, was accentuated by the shivering of excitement along her back, beads of perspiration appearing as she felt the desirous heat build inside her loins.
Her essence of arousal filled me with a primal longing to devour her, to savour her sexuality. As my fingers delve and expose, part and display the offered morsel, her soft moans agree with my touch.
Jolts of pleasure shoot into me, shoot into her, as my tongue touches the tiny bundle of nerve-filled skin. Her release of liquid love to me, sinfully slow in coming, is welcomed by my lips as I kiss her intimately.
Throbbing, pulsing spasms of ecstatic delight fill us as our lips meld, our lust sated, your body saturated with fulfillment. I press my face harder into you, wanting to engulf you entirely within me, to own you, possess you.
Your orgasm, my joy to experience, your pleasure my joy to give.

You had to write that when I am ravenously amourous and sick as a dog....*sigh*

 

[lance gt]

You had to write that when I am ravenously amourous and sick as a dog....*sigh*

I hope it speeds your recovery sweet woman. (hug)

 

[driphoney]

This ended up being a fun exercise as I took about 400 words of a previously written piece and attempted to pare and carve and pare some more to get it down to 200 words. The final product morphed so much it bears little resemblance to the original!


“Please.”

Groaning, he plunges deep into her offering, waiting, savoring it. Emily moans as pleasure surges up from the slippery pulsing warmth that grips him. That instant she knows: she’s his. A complete stranger, whatever he wants.

“Spread more.”

Her inner thighs slide against smooth cotton as she obeys, her breathing shortens in excitement.

“Feel good?”

“Yeah.”

His knees anchor inside hers, the soft fur of his leg brushing against her skin as he spreads her wider. Tangling his fingers in hers, he draws them above her head making her taut and at his mercy. Shivering, her desire climbs as primal need takes over. In and out he pumps. Emily pulses and quakes to his rhythm, letting him take her where she wants to go. The bed hits the wall announcing to the world that sweet little Emily is being taken tonight.

Pounding hard, he smacks her into the mattress, his tempo increasing. Humping back, Emily pushes against him. His breath rushes against her cheek.

“That’s it. Fuck me, little bitch.”

The threat of orgasm radiates off him as he shakes, trying to make it last.

“Come on . . . cum on this cock.”

Emily goes rigid then erupts in uncontrollable ecstasy. (200)

 

[Lisa Summers]

I pretty clearly CAN'T do it in 200 words or less, because all of my experience, and style, is to draw the whole experience out for a long, long time. So, my chapeau is off to you who can!

I pulled this from my current story, 'Willing, Ch 2,' in which a woman seduces one of the protagonists and makes her cum, several times, with neither of them removing their clothes or touching each other's naughty bits:

"...Rachel leaned down and kissed me again, my mouth eager now to take her in, her tongue now teasing my lips, not really kissing me, but teasing me further. I gave up and let her do to me what she wanted. I was totally hers, after more and better orgasms than I'd ever experienced before.

Rachel then leaned down further, her soft lips an inch from my ear. "And then I'm going to make you do all of that, to me," she whispered...."

 

[VeritasMaximus]

She sat discreetly in the window seat of flight DA2847 and watched the night turn to day. In those early hours while all the other passengers slept, she watched the flight attendant walk to her place behind the curtain. Caroline had been thinking of what it would be like to touch the long beautiful legs of that attendant and better still to run her hand up the back of her thighs underneath the skirt and place her hands on that succulent ass. Since she couldn't exactly do anything about it, she decided to slide her hand underneath the blanket on her own lap.

She unbuttoned her jeans and undid the zipper, moving her warm hand down to finger the curls at the top of her mound. She moved her fingers down to rub the line of her sex from the bottom to the top and then she parted her lips, inserting two fingers into the wetness of herself. She imagined the flight attendant's lips parting to kiss her deeply and touching her breasts. She felt the orgasm peaking and then the flood of delight came and lingered inside her sex as the sun's rays filtered through the tiny plane window.

 

[audeamus]

This song was the inspiration for this contribution: love suggestions

The storm ruined any plans of attending the jazz concert in the park. Naiya sighed and watched drops of rain beat violently against the picture window. Her eyes closed in contentment as the deep, full sound of Will Downing's voice filled the living room. From behind, Jace brushed his nose in the hollow of Naiya's neck then dotted her shoulders with kisses. He removed her cerulean blue sundress and tossed it aside. Naiya's palms flattened against the window, her shallow breaths quickly steamed the pane. A low growl escaped Jace's lips as his hands indulged in the soft cushions of her breasts. He bit playfully at her neck while coaxing her legs apart, his fingers exploring the grooves of her silky labia.

Naiya's nostrils flared when Jace entered her; the sweet pleasure of his steady rhythm motivated her sexual desire. Jace's sultry whispers were the onset of her series of soft, throaty moans. His hips rocked sharply, stimulating a familiar spot deep within her vessel. She obliged his attempt to conquer her orgasm by tightening her muscles around his ample manhood.

The sexual crescendo was simultaneous. As the song faded out, he kissed her damp skin.

Music -- an alluring love suggestion. (200)

 

[adoratheodora]

You push me roughly down on the bad, face down on the covers, on my knees, ass up in the air. I turn to look at you as you guide your cock into my wet cunt, sliding its girth in deeply. With one hand you grab and squeeze my ass, grip my hair with the other and tug back on my head. As you pull back on my head you start the steady rhythm of fucking me from behind, balls slapping against skin slick with juices as your prick drives in and out of my cunt.
Moaning in pleasure as you drive it deep in me, fucking me harder, pulling on my hair, slapping my ass. I feel my orgasm begin rolling over me, my pussy clenching your hot throbbing prick as waves of pleasure envelope me.
I collapse in exhaustion, breathing hard, and you’re railing me now, grunting. I feel your cock swell, you’re about to cum. You pull out, drag me up by the hair and pull me so that I’m facing you. You guide my face down to your cock, my lips wrap around the head, and your release your hot jizz into my waiting mouth.

199 words.

 

[Guest]

Hey

The thread seems to be picking up.

Good deal.

 

[Guest]

You push me roughly down on the bad, face down on the covers, on my knees, ass up in the air. I turn to look at you as you guide your cock into my wet cunt, sliding its girth in deeply. With one hand you grab and squeeze my ass, grip my hair with the other and tug back on my head. As you pull back on my head you start the steady rhythm of fucking me from behind, balls slapping against skin slick with juices as your prick drives in and out of my cunt.
Moaning in pleasure as you drive it deep in me, fucking me harder, pulling on my hair, slapping my ass. I feel my orgasm begin rolling over me, my pussy clenching your hot throbbing prick as waves of pleasure envelope me.
I collapse in exhaustion, breathing hard, and you’re railing me now, grunting. I feel your cock swell, you’re about to cum. You pull out, drag me up by the hair and pull me so that I’m facing you. You guide my face down to your cock, my lips wrap around the head, and your release your hot jizz into my waiting mouth.

199 words.

Now, that was a good, down and dirty sex scene.

 

[Guest]

This song was the inspiration for this contribution: love suggestions

The storm ruined any plans of attending the jazz concert in the park. Naiya sighed and watched drops of rain beat violently against the picture window. Her eyes closed in contentment as the deep, full sound of Will Downing's voice filled the living room. From behind, Jace brushed his nose in the hollow of Naiya's neck then dotted her shoulders with kisses. He removed her cerulean blue sundress and tossed it aside. Naiya's palms flattened against the window, her shallow breaths quickly steamed the pane. A low growl escaped Jace's lips as his hands indulged in the soft cushions of her breasts. He bit playfully at her neck while coaxing her legs apart, his fingers exploring the grooves of her silky labia.

Naiya's nostrils flared when Jace entered her; the sweet pleasure of his steady rhythm motivated her sexual desire. Jace's sultry whispers were the onset of her series of soft, throaty moans. His hips rocked sharply, stimulating a familiar spot deep within her vessel. She obliged his attempt to conquer her orgasm by tightening her muscles around his ample manhood.

The sexual crescendo was simultaneous. As the song faded out, he kissed her damp skin.

Music -- an alluring love suggestion. (200)

There's quite the voyeuristic streak running through this post. I like it. The image of using the window to brace yourself while making love is quite erotic to me.

 

[DeepGreenEyes]

The storm ruined any plans of attending the jazz concert in the park. Naiya sighed and watched drops of rain beat violently against the picture window. Her eyes closed in contentment as the deep, full sound of Will Downing's voice filled the living room. From behind, Jace brushed his nose in the hollow of Naiya's neck then dotted her shoulders with kisses. He removed her cerulean blue sundress and tossed it aside. Naiya's palms flattened against the window, her shallow breaths quickly steamed the pane. A low growl escaped Jace's lips as his hands indulged in the soft cushions of her breasts. He bit playfully at her neck while coaxing her legs apart, his fingers exploring the grooves of her silky labia.

Naiya's nostrils flared when Jace entered her; the sweet pleasure of his steady rhythm motivated her sexual desire. Jace's sultry whispers were the onset of her series of soft, throaty moans. His hips rocked sharply, stimulating a familiar spot deep within her vessel. She obliged his attempt to conquer her orgasm by tightening her muscles around his ample manhood.

The sexual crescendo was simultaneous. As the song faded out, he kissed her damp skin.

Music -- an alluring love suggestion.

Well written (as always) and filled with hot little details. I love "...dotted her shoulders with kisses" and "Naiya's palms flattened against the window, her shallow breaths quickly steamed the pane."

You push me roughly down on the bad, face down on the covers, on my knees, ass up in the air. I turn to look at you as you guide your cock into my wet cunt, sliding its girth in deeply. With one hand you grab and squeeze my ass, grip my hair with the other and tug back on my head. As you pull back on my head you start the steady rhythm of fucking me from behind, balls slapping against skin slick with juices as your prick drives in and out of my cunt.
Moaning in pleasure as you drive it deep in me, fucking me harder, pulling on my hair, slapping my ass. I feel my orgasm begin rolling over me, my pussy clenching your hot throbbing prick as waves of pleasure envelope me.
I collapse in exhaustion, breathing hard, and you’re railing me now, grunting. I feel your cock swell, you’re about to cum. You pull out, drag me up by the hair and pull me so that I’m facing you. You guide my face down to your cock, my lips wrap around the head, and your release your hot jizz into my waiting mouth.

This is so arousing. Yes.

 

[driphoney]

I pretty clearly CAN'T do it in 200 words or less, because all of my experience, and style, is to draw the whole experience out for a long, long time. So, my chapeau is off to you who can!

I pulled this from my current story, 'Willing, Ch 2,' in which a woman seduces one of the protagonists and makes her cum, several times, with neither of them removing their clothes or touching each other's naughty bits:

"...Rachel leaned down and kissed me again, my mouth eager now to take her in, her tongue now teasing my lips, not really kissing me, but teasing me further. I gave up and let her do to me what she wanted. I was totally hers, after more and better orgasms than I'd ever experienced before.

Rachel then leaned down further, her soft lips an inch from my ear. "And then I'm going to make you do all of that, to me," she whispered...."

Well, I obviously can't either! I'm not the best sex writer on a good day, but I think my original was better. My offering here was too spare and I don't have the talent to know what to leave or how to morph it. I like dialogue and most of my favorite sex scenes are pretty lengthy, so I tried to leave some in.

It would be interesting to see how someone with ability could do this exercise with 80% or more dialogue.

 

[Guest]

It would be interesting to see how someone with ability could do this exercise with 80% or more dialogue.

I'll give mostly dialogue a shot. Here goes at 183 words. (Quote format added to separate it from the rest)

“O God”

His cheeks clenched around her finger, while she beckoned with a 'come hither' motion against his sphincter.

“O fuck Lainey, I love it when you do that. Play with my asshole baby. Stop, don't go all the way in. Oh God, right there--” He choked off his words with a moan.

“Do you like that Steve? You want me to kiss your cock?” Her grip on his shaft tightened.

“Oh, look at that, you can see my lipstick. It looks pretty there. What if I kissed you here?” Steve shuddered and his muscles tightened.

“That's it Baby, all the way in. Look up at me open those eyes. I love it I love it I love it.”

His muscles were trembling as he gripped the door frame.

“You want more? Then I've got a surprise for you. Sandra brought a toy for us,” she said.

“She brought us this vibrator, and guess what Honey? To help you learn how to please me with it, I invited her along tonight. Look who's behind you?”

Not sure if it works, but it mostly felt right while I was writing it.

~Paul

 

[driphoney]

I'll give mostly dialogue a shot. Here goes at 183 words. (Quote format added to separate it from the rest)



Not sure if it works, but it mostly felt right while I was writing it.

~Paul

Wow! That was really working for me ... right ... up ... until you added Sandra! But that's just me.

I should practice it. But I won't post it. Enough embarrassing unedited writing for me for a while.

 

[Guest]

Wow! That was really working for me ... right ... up ... until you added Sandra! But that's just me.

I should practice it. But I won't post it. Enough embarrassing unedited writing for me for a while.

Really, Sandra was the part that wasn't working for me either. But I was kinda lost for something different and there she was.

~Paul

 

[Lisa Summers]

Trying to get this back on track (even if I suck at it)

 

[audeamus]

sgt_wiklund and DeepGreenEyes,

For the kind feedback from both of you gentlemen, I am duly grateful. This thread is filled with imaginative and stimulating contributions that I enjoy reading. It's great to see it thriving again.

Be golden.

 

[Freefall_mc]

To Seduce a Rose

Altered piece for a one-sided dialogue. Not exactly descriptively hardcore, but...

“You promised to trust yourself, to give yourself this one day freely; as much as I agreed to not lay my hands upon you in your morning of fragility. But you dare not offend at this rose, measuring its charms against the silken texture of your skin. It’s only longing is to journey home; along your neck, encircling the rising curves of your breasts, down the smoothness of your tummy. Mm…if only my lips could taste as those petals.

Ah…and with staccato breath you still grasp at chained control, afraid to give unto the air that which also feeds the natural beauty surrounding us. Why do you deny? Honey, euphoria hinges on your aires. Even heaven’s pearly gates will one day swing open, so long burdened with the bearing of its own weight.

That’s right, give in to it. Let it pass between your thighs, to its brethren. So succulent together, the fragrance of this blossom and yours, composing such richness to be savored. Even now, out of sunlight, it desires to blossom, tantalizing me to delve into its petals, to taste the very heart of its essence.

Now darling, don’t default. I only said I wouldn’t use my hands.”

 

[Guest]

Altered piece for a one-sided dialogue. Not exactly descriptively hardcore, but...

“You promised to trust yourself, to give yourself this one day freely; as much as I agreed to not lay my hands upon you in your morning of fragility. But you dare not offend at this rose, measuring its charms against the silken texture of your skin. It’s only longing is to journey home; along your neck, encircling the rising curves of your breasts, down the smoothness of your tummy. Mm…if only my lips could taste as those petals.

Ah…and with staccato breath you still grasp at chained control, afraid to give unto the air that which also feeds the natural beauty surrounding us. Why do you deny? Honey, euphoria hinges on your aires. Even heaven’s pearly gates will one day swing open, so long burdened with the bearing of its own weight.

That’s right, give in to it. Let it pass between your thighs, to its brethren. So succulent together, the fragrance of this blossom and yours, composing such richness to be savored. Even now, out of sunlight, it desires to blossom, tantalizing me to delve into its petals, to taste the very heart of its essence.

Now darling, don’t default. I only said I wouldn’t use my hands.”

I really loved that. the wording of everything there was perfect. It was almost poetic. I felt like the last sentence however was tacked on. it just didn't seem to fit. Other than that, however it was beautiful. I didn't exactly 'climax', but I couldn't tear my eyes away from those two small paragraphs, either.

~Paul

 

[Freefall_mc]

I really loved that. the wording of everything there was perfect. It was almost poetic. I felt like the last sentence however was tacked on. it just didn't seem to fit. Other than that, however it was beautiful. I didn't exactly 'climax', but I couldn't tear my eyes away from those two small paragraphs, either.

~Paul

I'm so pleased you like part of it. Thanks for the input Paul.
And yes, I tend to throw stuff in just for me. Could use some serious pointers on a first submit. Not my favorite, but in raw form, it does show structural errors I tend to stray toward. Too much here, not enough there, etc. A preview for chance editors.

 

[lance gt]

The sunlight sliced through a crack in the closed curtains, spotlighting just a fraction of smooth skin on her, as she lay reclining on the bed. Her shadow-darkened eyes turned and looked at me, the lust seemingly able to make them glow.

Her gaze drifted across the distance between us and held me to her. The silhouette of her body backlit by the sun, a mesmerizing view my eyes could not break away from, drawing me closer to her.
I stood transfixed as her hands moved across her body, caressing with deliberate intimacy at the peaked erections.

Allowing me the time to follow her movements, I watched as her delicate fingers trailed away, tracing an unseen path towards the satiny, black shadows that encased her hips.
Blinding brilliance wrapped the scene between her legs as they gracefully parted, illuminating the juncture for me. My gaze, unwaivered by distraction, fixed upon the movement of her slender digits playing over the pouting fullness.

In moves of magical illussionry, two fingers disappeared inside, re-appearing as glistening trademarks of her sexual being. The slick, wetness filled my ears with a sexual song that aroused me further, wanting, desiring, needing the climactic fulfillment of an orgasmic coda.

Her fingers, gleaming brightly in the slivered sunlight, splaying open her entrance, ushering me to enter her, to unify our bodies as one. The touch of a soft, loving hand, guiding me, engaged me to enter her, to fill her with my lust, to satiate her own, held promises I was reluctant to ignore.

I was compelled to watch myself, illuminated in intense scrutiny, as I was engulfed by pink, warm folds urging me in further. Instance and immediacy filled me. A need of urgent relief upon complete entry.

I felt my manhood taken like prey by a hunter, successful in trapping me, leaving me a willing participant to be toyed with by my captor. Smooth, silky warmth engulfed me, catching and releasing me as I looked into her darkened eyes, boring into me, possessing my soul.

Moments of our time became fused together, as she brought a climax to our union. The culmination of orgasmic release dimmed the sun's brightness, as pinpoints of light burst forth on closed eyelids. Clutched possession was slowly released, relieving me of capture, returning me once again to a world of light and shadows, removed from her entrapment, but unwilling to leave.

 

[VeritasMaximus]

Erika sat with her knees tightly held together. Her mistress glared at her as she slapped her hard across the face leaving a glowing handprint of bright red on Erika's beautiful porcelain white skin. Erika gasped and her mistress came close to her face sneering as she whispered, "I don't think I heard you thank me yet." Erika stammered a "Thank you, mistress," which was greeted by another hard slap on the other cheek. "Not convincing enough," her mistress said.

With that last slap, the mistress seemed pleased with herself and stood in a relaxed pose. But, suddenly, everything shifted. Erika rose from the chair, towering above her "mistress" with a look of hatred on her face. Erika showed her teeth as she finally grew sick of this farce. Her teeth gleamed as she picked up the heavy paper weight and cracked her mistress in the head with it. The woman fell to the floor and as the small trickle of blood fell into her mistress' eyes, Erika screamed: "Now, say thank you to me!" The mistress cackled at her, and Erika slammed her foot in her stomach. The mistress grimaced and looked up at the girl, muttering: "Thank you."

 

[Guest]

The sunlight sliced through a crack in the closed curtains, spotlighting just a fraction of smooth skin on her, as she lay reclining on the bed. Her shadow-darkened eyes turned and looked at me, the lust seemingly able to make them glow.

Her gaze drifted across the distance between us and held me to her. The silhouette of her body backlit by the sun, a mesmerizing view my eyes could not break away from, drawing me closer to her.
I stood transfixed as her hands moved across her body, caressing with deliberate intimacy at the peaked erections.

Allowing me the time to follow her movements, I watched as her delicate fingers trailed away, tracing an unseen path towards the satiny, black shadows that encased her hips.
Blinding brilliance wrapped the scene between her legs as they gracefully parted, illuminating the juncture for me. My gaze, unwaivered by distraction, fixed upon the movement of her slender digits playing over the pouting fullness.

In moves of magical illussionry, two fingers disappeared inside, re-appearing as glistening trademarks of her sexual being. The slick, wetness filled my ears with a sexual song that aroused me further, wanting, desiring, needing the climactic fulfillment of an orgasmic coda.

Her fingers, gleaming brightly in the slivered sunlight, splaying open her entrance, ushering me to enter her, to unify our bodies as one. The touch of a soft, loving hand, guiding me, engaged me to enter her, to fill her with my lust, to satiate her own, held promises I was reluctant to ignore.

I was compelled to watch myself, illuminated in intense scrutiny, as I was engulfed by pink, warm folds urging me in further. Instance and immediacy filled me. A need of urgent relief upon complete entry.

I felt my manhood taken like prey by a hunter, successful in trapping me, leaving me a willing participant to be toyed with by my captor. Smooth, silky warmth engulfed me, catching and releasing me as I looked into her darkened eyes, boring into me, possessing my soul.

Moments of our time became fused together, as she brought a climax to our union. The culmination of orgasmic release dimmed the sun's brightness, as pinpoints of light burst forth on closed eyelids. Clutched possession was slowly released, relieving me of capture, returning me once again to a world of light and shadows, removed from her entrapment, but unwilling to leave.

you're a bit over, at 400 words exactly. But I loved it. now I have to go see what else you have written. Is it all like that?