Making the first time special

[taolanes]

I dont think this topic has been addressed before. But I am 23 and still a virgin, and the girl I am just starting to see is the same. I really want our first time to be amazing so I was wondering if anyone had any ideas of what to do (music, location, different ideas, type of foreplay before, etc.) that would help. Any idea would be a help, so thanks in advance

 

[M's girl]

What is special to one person can be average or boring even to the next. Is she a romantic girl? Are you a romantic person? I can say that I am and the idea of nice music in the background sounded appealing to me always but I have found it's more of a distraction than anything else. Plus I like to HEAR our sex; the sighs, the breathing, the moans and even the sounds our bodies make while we make love/fuck.

Do you think you will both be nervous because it's your first time? Have you two talked about sex before? Do you know what turns her on and what not? Even with the most experienced people there is always a first time together so they still need to find out what is hot and what's not between THEM.

To me, the entourage is always very important. I need to be able to concentrate and relax with no distractions whatsoever. Make sure the bed is fresh and clean, maybe even buy new bedcovers for the occasion. I would love a vase with nice flowers beside the bed and make sure you can dim the lights and/or place candles. Have something to drink at hand (does not have to be alcohol) and serve in nice glasses.

Take a shower together before you go off to bed (or the couch) and dress sexy for her in nice boxers or whatever. If you can afford it you can buy her something nice to wear for the special occasion. Do focus (and tell her so) on something pretty rather than (too) sexy because then she MIGHT think you bought the 'thing' more for you than her. If you tell her this is the 'piece' that will always be special because she had it on (and off, haha) the first time you made love... that would do it for me. If you are not sure about it, ask her to go shopping with you so she can decide and be comfortable. Plus it makes for nice foreplay too

Then, when you start your evening... go slow. Ask her what she likes and wants. Get to know her 'that way'. It's not a sign of inexperience: it's a sign that you care and want her to have a good time!

And last but not least: just have FUN! Don't have too high expectations and don't be too disappointed if heaven does not come down the very first time. Make it about being together and not about trying to reach orgasm.

Have a blast (and then come back and tell us about it )

 

[cat_and_bear]

This is really hard to explain but you should simply try expressing your love for her through touch.

All the candles and paraphernalia won’t matter one bit if you forget that it’s all about expressing your love for her. The second you make it about physical pleasure you will find things going wrong.

Take your time, be slow and gentle, you will each discover something that works for both of you.

Don’t expect to be pumping away for hours like in a porno your first time, in all honesty the deed may only last a few minutes. Because it could be over quickly the important thing it to make sure you build up to it properly take your _time_ on the fore play, I find it really is the most enjoyable bit. Take your time getting used to being so close to each other, give her time to get used to having you inside, let her sit on top for a few minutes or half an hour, give her as long as she needs to feel comfortable.

While your sitting still encourage her by caressing her back, neck and arms, all over really, don’t just focus on the bits that you find the most interesting. Whisper sweet nothings to her, tell her how much she means to you, but remember to tell her the same things at other times; only telling her while your making love is a bad idea.

first times have this bad habit of ending abruptly, don’t get discouraged if this happens, hold her close, tell her you look forward to learning how to better express your each other in that way. because trust me, it doesn’t take long to get better so long as you just keep in mind its about emotion and its not just a physical thing. (don’t worry raw physical passion will come with time )

Planning too much it going to make you anxious about it, setting a date and time is about the worst thing you can do as well.

You will both know when the time is right, after a good date or when your feeling particularly cuddly just slowly take things further, if it starts to feel weird for either one of you don’t push it, only go as far as the other is comfortable, you have plenty of time to go all the way.

There is so much more I could write but really it all comes down to what you feel is right, you will more then likely find the right way on your own if you really do love each other.

…. Hahah oh yea…. Read as much romantic erotica as you can, I find they are full of good ideas. Alexandria by frank downy comes to mind and a lot of authors that post here too.

 

[Bobmi357]

If you want to make it memorable wear a chicken suit.

If you want to make it good for both of you, slow down and take plenty of time. Foreplay foreplay and more foreplay. And then when you think you can't stand it anymore, have some more foreplay.

Listen to her, she may not be talking, but her body is telling you what she likes and what she doesn't. Take the time the opportunity to be considerate of her pleasure and her feelings. And remember, she can usually have multiple orgasms (even if she doesn't know this) while you take time to reload.

Let her set the pace.

And get rid of that stupid chicken suit! Do you have any idea how silly you look in it?

 

[glynndah]

I don't think it was mentioned earlier, but be sure some sort of birth control is used.

 

[M's girl]

I don't think it was mentioned earlier, but be sure some sort of birth control is used.

Not if you want to make it memorable

Sorry. I could not help myself. Of course you are right

 

[glynndah]

Yep. Some memories do last a life time.

 

[taolanes]

What is special to one person can be average or boring even to the next. Is she a romantic girl? Are you a romantic person? I can say that I am and the idea of nice music in the background sounded appealing to me always but I have found it's more of a distraction than anything else. Plus I like to HEAR our sex; the sighs, the breathing, the moans and even the sounds our bodies make while we make love/fuck.

This is probably the best advice I can get. I'll keep in mind that its about personal preference more than anything else, and i should know what she likes before we go there.

To me, the entourage is always very important. I need to be able to concentrate and relax with no distractions whatsoever. Make sure the bed is fresh and clean, maybe even buy new bedcovers for the occasion. I would love a vase with nice flowers beside the bed and make sure you can dim the lights and/or place candles. Have something to drink at hand (does not have to be alcohol) and serve in nice glasses.

Take a shower together before you go off to bed (or the couch) and dress sexy for her in nice boxers or whatever. If you can afford it you can buy her something nice to wear for the special occasion. Do focus (and tell her so) on something pretty rather than (too) sexy because then she MIGHT think you bought the 'thing' more for you than her. If you tell her this is the 'piece' that will always be special because she had it on (and off, haha) the first time you made love... that would do it for me. If you are not sure about it, ask her to go shopping with you so she can decide and be comfortable. Plus it makes for nice foreplay too

Then, when you start your evening... go slow. Ask her what she likes and wants. Get to know her 'that way'. It's not a sign of inexperience: it's a sign that you care and want her to have a good time!

And last but not least: just have FUN! Don't have too high expectations and don't be too disappointed if heaven does not come down the very first time. Make it about being together and not about trying to reach orgasm.

Have a blast (and then come back and tell us about it )

All good stuff. I'm still looking for romantic ideas that may be cool, but I also forgot to relax about it and put the emphasis on making it fun. So thanks for that, because I think that is what will end up being more important than anything else....

p.s. thanks for the guy who had the chicken suit idea!

 

[taolanes]

Keep the ideas coming though. I'm trying to think of something I can do that is different or shows a lot of effort has been put into it to make it extra special

 

[cat_and_bear]

Keep the ideas coming though. I'm trying to think of something I can do that is different or shows a lot of effort has been put into it to make it extra special

That’s what you do for birthday presents, not a first time.

I think you’re putting too much pressure on your self....... if you’re worried about all this fantastic, super great, extra stuff you’re going to forget it’s about 2 people exploring their love.

When you ask a girl about her first time what do they normally tell you is memorable? I think you will find most say that the good ones where understanding, not the good ones had 100 candles burning softly, rose petals scattered on the floor and a bottle of champaign chilling on the night stand…..

Go watch ‘Cruel Intentions’ if you make it any thing like that you have done about as good any girl could hope for.

 

[M's girl]

When you ask a girl about her first time what do they normally tell you is memorable? I think you will find most say that the good ones where understanding, not the good ones had 100 candles burning softly, rose petals scattered on the floor and a bottle of champaign chilling on the night stand…..

When you ask a lot of girls/women about their first time they will tell you that it sucked. That the guy had no idea whatsoever what he was doing and finished himself in no-time, leaving her hurt and shattered.

Of course he has to pay attention to HER , but I think he gets that already. I would have loved for my first lover to try to make things special.... talk to me about the event which we would plan together. The knowledge that he would care enough to do everything in his power to make me feel special and at ease would have meant the world to me.

Of course everyone is different and the level of experience of both partners involved has a lot of influence. I agree when people say: don't make too much out of it, but recognizing you are going to do something very special together is the nicest thing...

Are you male or female, cat_and_bear?

 

[subwannabe]

I didn't have time to read the other replies but this is one occasion where you have to realize the Venus and Mars thing. Men and women have different ideas about sex and love and the "first time". Guys just want to have sex and fuck and maybe get kinky. Women are into romance. They want their first time to be "making love". Dinner, wine, candlelight (aromatic), softness, tenderness, massages, rose petals, maybe a jacuzzi bath. Remember, again, she wants to make love to you and have you make love to her, not have sex. I would recommend getting mushy and read a romance novel for suggestions. Good luck.

 

[Cathleen]

I might be late posting but ...

Taolanes, that you are putting a lot of thought into this event is wonderful. I think the first time is always special, whether it's the first time you've had sex or the first with a new partner.

I would respond well with romantic things -- the flowers, soft music (I'd go with mostly instrumental only as lyrics might take attention away a little), the sweet whispers etc. I'd also acknowledge and express the natural nerves you'll both feel. Sex is fun and can be funny too. Humor often breaks the ice. Be aware, be in one moment at a time, enjoy each emotion you'll feel.

You mentioned above "and i should know what she likes before we go there." You can't know everything or even a lot with communicating about this event with each other. Don't try to be perfect, cat_and_bear said you're putting a lot of pressure on yourself, I agree and would caution to slow things down in your mind and let ideas, thoughts, desires etc come to you -- and her.

I hope you'll enjoy each other in every way and there are a lot of ways!

edit: Talk about birth control methods before hand. (Keeping condoms near by is always a good idea.)