Memories on the Ozarks (Close)

[pa1ndru1d]

Danny looked into her eyes. “Becca, you was bit by a rattler up in the hayloft.” He paused a second, “When I got there, you was in a bad way. I called 911 and then,” tears welled up in his eyes but did not spill over, “nearly killed you with the anti-venom. Doctors said something about ana… ana… phallus shock or something.”

His head dropped and his eyes studied his boots on the floor. Guilt was riding him like a cowboy rides a bull and he just couldn’t shake it.

 

[TabascoKV]

His sudden emotion made her completely forget that they had been in the middle of a fight. Reaching out, she laid the tip of her fingers on his hand.

“Anaphylactic .” Speaking softly, she silently willed him to look up at her. “Danny, don’t do that. Don’t blame yourself. You were doing what was supposed to be done.” Her voice was slightly hoarse when she spoke.

 

[pa1ndru1d]

Dan accepted what she said as forgiveness for his screw up, even if that wasn’t exactly what she had meant. “Becca,” he started, “I want you to know something.”

He wasn’t sure if what he had going through his head should even come out. But knowing that he had almost lost her was driving him out of his mind. “The reason I go so crazy when you do things like run off is…” Dan took a deep breath and squeezed Rebecca’s hand. He felt like he was about to pass out as he continued, “I can’t stand the thought of losing you. For all the strife we bring each other, as nuts as you make me and as crazy as I make you…” He let out his breath in a near wooshing sound, “I don’t want to be without you.”

 

[TabascoKV]

Becca watched him as he spoke, her eyes showing concern despite the exhaustion she felt. His words brought a warmth inside of her, and tears to her eyes. It felt so different to have somebody express such a desire to have her in their life, and that desire being pure. That only made the fact that they could never get along so much more frustrating.

"I'm here."

The drugs were creating a fuzziness in her mind, and her eyelids were growing heavier with every passing moment. She tried her hardest to keep her eyes open, but she failed.

“I love you, Danny.” Speaking softly, her voice reflected her fading.

 

[pa1ndru1d]

The warmth he felt at hearing her words road over the guilt that had filled him. She was here. For him. It meant everything to him. Danny couldn’t believe his ears as she said that she loved him. Damien sank back into the large, uncomfortable chair.

“I love you too, Becca.” He said as her eyes closed completely.

The hospital wouldn’t release Rebecca until the next day and Daniel stayed by her side continuously, save for the few times he went down to the cafeteria for a hot meal from a vending machine. The rest of his time was spent in that chair. Dan was beginning to think that his butt had become a permanent indentation in the yellow pleather seat. The nurses had been talking in hushed tones at the station about his devotion and dedication and Danny had overheard them a couple of times. But… I almost killed her… ran through his head, each time, of course.

Daniel drove her home cautiously. The thunderheads had darkened the afternoon sky to a late evening gray. The headlights were nearly useless and he could only see further than the hood of the truck via the sporadic lightning flashes. He slowed the truck to a crawl.

Normally, cool under any circumstances, Danny’s knuckles were white as he traversed the hilly terrain, praying that no oncoming vehicles were headed their way in the gloomy torrent.

 

[TabascoKV]

By the time Becca was released from the hospital, she was in a better state of mind than she had been the previous day. She didn’t remember anything about the previous day, and she still felt extremely tired. Buckled into the truck, she was a bit tense with the weather being so bad. Looking over at Dan, she reached over and laid her hand on his leg. She could see the muscles flexing in his jaw and the way he gripped the steering wheel. Biting her bottom lip, she tried to reassure him by gently squeezing his leg.

They made it home without any problems. Daniel helped her inside the house and helped her get settled on the couch. A fire was built in the fireplace, and the little house was cozy against the howling storm outside.

“You look like you haven’t slept.” Finally speaking, she looked at him with concern in her eyes.

 

[pa1ndru1d]

The squeeze on his leg was an assurance that things were all right with them again. He had thought of nothing but her words the previous evening. He had waited to see if she would bring it up and since she hadn’t he figured that the drugs were too much. They must have addled her brains…

Fortunately, nothing happened on their way home, it was just incredibly slow going. Dan ran inside and grabbed an umbrella to keep Rebecca dry. After he had her nestled within an afghan on the couch, Danny made some hot cocoa for them and made her lift her legs so he could slide in beneath them.

A soft smile formed as Dan answered her, “Did you get a good look at that chair that sat next to your bed? The nurses were very accommodating, but they refused to bring me a cot for some reason.” He rubbed her legs beneath the cover with one hand and sipped from his mug with the other. “I’m just glad that they let you come home today. I was sick with worry there at first.”

 

[TabascoKV]

When he made it obvious that he had set up a temporary home in the chair by her bedside, she felt a small twinge of guilt as well as flattery. Resting her head against the couch, she pulled the afghan up closer around her.

“Was it really that bad?” Meeting his gaze with her eyes, she gave him a curious look. “I don’t remember anything from the past couple days.” Smiling, she shrugged her shoulders.

 

[pa1ndru1d]

He nodded in response to her question. “It was touch and go there for a bit. I guess they lost you a coupla times in the ambulance on the way there. Said somethin about you having a lack of oxygen for ten minutes or so.” Dan kept a straight face right up until the very end. “I guess it explains a lot, huh?”

Danny wasn’t surprised that she couldn’t remember anything. In a way he was grateful, but he was also thankful for her telling him how she felt – if her feelings weren’t just a drug induced moment. “So, you are tellin me that you don’t remember tellin me how you in love you are with me?” His eyebrow cocked up, but his face remained serious this time around.

 

[TabascoKV]

Gasping melodramatically at his joke, she grabbed a small pillow and threw it at him. She tried her best to look offended, but couldn’t deny the smile that spread on her lips. Laughing at his insinuation that she would say such a thing, she shook her head.

“You are so full of it, Daniel.” She would never have told him that. Shaking her head, she sobered herself up. “How long do you think it will be before I can ride?”

 

[pa1ndru1d]

Dan caught the pillow as it soared at him. “I swear on all that is holy, you did. You said exactly that, darlin. Don't worry, I chalked it up to heavy doses of mind altering drugs.”

The doctors hadn’t said anything to the contrary, so Dan just shrugged. “I s’pose when you feel up to it.” He laughed quietly, “Which means you’ll be out there tomorrow, huh?”

 

[TabascoKV]

Dan and Becca spent the rest of the evening teasing one another and sharing in laughs before he carried her to bed so she could sleep. She spent the next couple days resting, more to put Daniel at ease than anything. By the third day, she had gone out for a slow walk on Samson to alleviate her cabin fever.

Becca was starting to feel back to normal a week and a half after her tango with the rattlesnake, and began practicing on Kallisti again. It had taken a few days before she could fully use the strength in her legs.

The night of the rodeo arrived before they realized it, and she was a bundle of nerves. There was no way she would come close to winning, and she knew that, but was still pacing the grounds. Horse performances and other events had been taking place throughout the day, but the more exciting events took place at night. Biting her bottom lip, she turned and walked back the other way, trying to calm her stomach.

 

[pa1ndru1d]

Dan hated the rodeos. There was too much to do and everything needed to be done right now. He had managed to keep an eye on Becca, albeit from a distance at times, and he had other hands keeping an eye on her as well. It seemed that woman was a draw for anything dramatic to come her way.

At this moment, he was making his way back to her. She was due on the run in twenty minutes and he wanted to ensure that she felt up to it. He found her pacing an area beyond the stables. “Becca?” He asked as he approached, “What are you doin darlin’?” Dan took her in his arms for a hug. “Are you sure you feel up to this?”

 

[TabascoKV]

Becca had been so wrapped up in her in her own nervousness that she didn’t notice Daniel approaching her until he had his arms wrapped around her. Looking up at him, her hazel eyes were filled with excitement and pure terror. Swallowing, she nodded as her teeth gnawed on her bottom lip.

“Daniel, what was I thinking? These women have been doing this since they were old enough to sit in a saddle by themselves.”

 

[pa1ndru1d]

Dan thought for a moment before speaking. He held Becca in his arms and gently ran his fingers through her hair. “Yeah.” He sighed. “You’re right. You prolly ain’t got what it takes. Yer kinda old to be out there with them kiddies. So, what you say we go for a romp up in the hayloft?”

His head twitched up toward the stables. “I bet with all the excitement goin on down yonder, there ain’t no one up there.” The grin was plastered on his face and he tensed slightly, awaiting her onslaught.

 

[TabascoKV]

Glaring at him, she lightly smacked him on his arm, trying to hide the small smile on her face. Shaking her head, she crossed her arms over her chest.

“Way to be supportive, dear. Call me old again and the only thing you’ll thrill you’ll be getting is from Ares.” Poking him in the chest, she winked at him. “Besides, there’s a nice big Jacuzzi tub in my hotel room that I think needs to be broken in tonight.”

“All barrel racers please saddle up and meet behind the arena.” The announcer’s voice rang out over the chatter from the hundreds of people talking.

“You gonna walk with me?” Looking back up at him, her anxiety returned. “And wish me luck, for real?”

 

[pa1ndru1d]

“Hey now, Ares is quite the thrill. Ya know.” He grinned to her and gave her a peck. “So the loft is out of the question? You don’t have to let that one incident with the snake scare you off, yanno. You should climb right back up there and give her a spin again.”

Dan smiled, thinking of the Jacuzzi. “Course I will, hon. But as for luck, you don’t need it. You have been training your ass off. Rely on what you know.” He offered his arm and led her toward the staging area. Danny rubbed her shoulders lightly as she prepared to climb up on Kallisti.

 

[TabascoKV]

“The next time I get into a loft, you’re going up there first.” Grinning, she wrapped her arm around his. She felt some of her nerves dissipate with his words, and tried to focus on keeping her apprehension down. Standing next to Bella’s offspring, she reached out and ran her hand down the mare’s neck. Kallisti threw her head back in excitement, and Becca could tell the horse was ready to go. Turning back to Dan, she planted a kiss on his cheek before mounting the horse.

The director went over the order for the races, and Becca was disappointed to know that she would be going last. Sitting would only give her butterflies time to reawaken with a frenzy. She sat solemnly atop Kallisti, trying to keep the horse calm while fighting her own inner demons. Finally, the rider before her took off.

Becca’s eyes followed the woman, grimacing as one of the barrels toppled over before the rider made her way back down to the field. Inhaling sharply, she watched as the disappointed woman made her way from the arena.

The eyes from the crowd were forgotten as her tunnel vision kicked in. When she got the go ahead, she took off, leaning down close to Kallisti as the horse shone brightly in her stride. Becca couldn’t remember having flown this fast during their rehearsals, nor could she recall if the two had bumped into any barrels along the way. When they hit their straight run, the horse picked up speed. Once they has passed the end mark, she sat back in the saddle and pulled Kallisti to a stop.

Turning, she looked up at the time board, her stomach wrapped in steel.

“Today was a record in the making. Rebecca Landers from BetheL Farms set a state record of 14.3 seconds.”

The screams and claps fell on deaf ears, as Becca sat there in disbelief before elation hit her. Steering Kallisti out of the arena, her eyes searched the crowd for Daniel.

 

[pa1ndru1d]

The knuckles of Dan’s hands were white where they held the fence. His nerves were locked up tight and he felt a little sick to his stomach as Rebecca made turn after turn around the barrels. When the final turn was made and the times were flashed on the boards, Dan’s arms shot up and he cheered. He wasn’t sure if he cheered more because she wouldn’t be running any more barrels today or because she had bested the state record her first time out.

He raced around to Becca’s gate, climbing up so he’d be able to greet her on her level. He saw her scanning the crowd and waved his hat toward her, calling her over. As she neared, Dan held his hat up to block the view of the crowd and gave her a huge kiss. “Good job, darlin’.” Dan was incredibly proud of her and he could see that she was proud, and a bit surprised herself.

Danny hopped down and opened the gate for her. “How many more events are you scheduled for today, Becca?” He asked as he walked the two toward the stables.

 

[TabascoKV]

Erupting into a grin when she spotted Daniel, looking like a doofus waving his hat around, she picked up to a canter to go towards the gate. Her arms wrapped around his neck in an awkward side hug, gladly accepting his kiss. She could see the camera flashes, but she ignored them. The one person she wanted to celebrate was right in front of her. She moved out of the arena, hopping down she slid her hand into his.

There was a bounce in her step as they headed towards the stables.

“Nothing. I’m done. But Jon has the bull ride, and I think they’re doing that next.”

*

The rest of the night flew by in a whirl wind. Jon placed fourth in the bull ride, but walked away without any broken bones. After the crew had ensured the horses were all content in the stables, they all left for the hotels. Yawning, Becca plopped down on the bed and looked over wearily at the clock. It was a little before midnight.

 

[pa1ndru1d]

Dan emerged from the restroom, drying his hands on a hand towel, when he noticed the weary look in Becca’s eyes. He positioned himself on the bed behind her and pulled her hair to one side, kissing the back of her neck. She only faintly smelled of horse and tasted of victory and sweat.

His hand came up and undid the clasp of her brassiere, and then he unbuttoned her shirt from behind and removed it from her tired shoulders. His hands moved to her neck and shoulders, and he began to work the knots from them.

“You did good today, hon. I’m proud of you.”

 

[TabascoKV]

Becca smiled and leaned back against him, a contented sigh hissed through her lips as his hands began to massage her muscles. Closing her eyes, she felt the exhaustion from the previous few days catch up to her. After a few minutes, she turned over and laid down, her head in his lap. Despite their earlier banter, Becca fell into a deeply relaxed sleep.

*

A week later, the farm had resumed its normal business and schedule. Becca had returned to training the horses. She and Jon had been working on making an inventory of the foals that would be ready to sell. Plans were in the making to build a new set of stables in order to board horses. The farm was thriving, and Becca felt that her uncle would have been proud of her and Daniel.

Saturday morning, Becca was working Kallisti at the cross country course her uncle had built years prior for Bella. Kallisti had only ever been trained in Rodeo sports, but Becca was determined to turn her into a show horse, if that was possible. She knew Dan was close by somewhere, but she didn’t know where, or what he was up to.

The sound of a car pulling up caught her attention, and she walked Kallisti over to Rupert’s car. Hopping down, she returned the hug from the older man.

“How are you?” Sticking her hands in her back pocket, she looked up at him.

“Doin’ fine. Thought y’all might be interested in this.” He handed her a copy of Rodeo Magazine, and Becca astride Kallisti taking a barrel was on the front cover. A surge of excitement ran through as the possibilities of what that kind of advertisement could do for the farm. Pulling out her phone, she buzzed Dan.

“Hey, Daniel, come over to the cross country track.”

“Oh good. I have something I need to give him.” Rupert turned and went back to his car, pulling out a large brown folder.

 

[pa1ndru1d]

Things had finally calmed down some. The security men had come around and installed the latest in alarm systems and Danny had had them all programmed to his cell. He’d be notified if anyone broke into the main house. He still dwelt on Becca’s ex and wondered when he would be making his move. Dan’s experience with people had shown him how horrible they could be. He refused to be caught off guard if he did dare to show himself here. He had even started carrying a revolver in an ankle holster, just inside his boot.

Danny was knee deep in paperwork, bitching and moaning the entire time he filled them out, when his phone chirped. He told Becca he would be there as soon as he could and began to shuffle the papers into a somewhat organized manner. The trip to the cross country track was only a short jog by truck and he arrived in short order.
He waited for the dust to settle before opening the truck door. “Well, hello there Rupert.” Dan said, extending his hand in greeting. Dan gave Becca a quick peck and took a look at the magazine. “Wow, Becks. That’s amazing!” He couldn’t have been more proud of her for all the work they had put in.

 

[TabascoKV]

Rupert and Becca chatted until Dan joined them. Smiling, she felt that all too familiar flutter in her stomach when he kissed her. Their relationship had moved along steadily after the rodeo, and she had not gotten used to the idea of having a man who was so different from what she was accustomed.

“I’ll leave you two to talk.” Winking, she saddled up on Kallisti and headed off towards the stables. She wasn’t completely convinced that she could convert the mare into a cross country horse. Kallisti was all about speed and tight movements and because of that, she didn’t have the endurance to run the cross country track. Once back at the stables, she gave the horse a good rubdown and a few sugar cubes before putting her in her stall. Becca really didn’t feel much like spending all of her Saturday working out the horses. Driving back up to the house, she hopped in the shower. There was another street festival downtown that night, and a large group had decided to head down there together.

*

Rupert waited until Becca was out of earshot before handing Daniel the folder. An unnatural apprehension settled over the older man’s usually confident face.

“Joe asked me to give this to you when I felt the time was right. Now that you and Rebecca seem to have lost some of the tension between you two, I thought now would be a good time.”

Inside the folder was a handwritten letter and report from the local clinic. The report was a paternity test that had been taken twenty years ago, when Becca was seven years old. It stated that Joseph Landers was the father of Rebecca Landers.

Daniel,
I know you probably have a hundred questions you wish you could ask me. I’m also sure that you are probably furious with me for leaving the farm to Rebecca instead of you. I pray that in time you will understand the weight of my decision.

When I first saw you in that court room all those years ago I saw a stubbornness in you that reminded me of me. When I saw your obstinate way, I knew it meant you had a strong spirit. You just needed a little guidance along the way. I am proud of the man you have grown into. You are a good man with a strong heart, and a gentle disposition.

I know I can trust you with the farm and Beth. Please go easy on her, Daniel. She is just as stubborn as you can be, and she refuses to accept help. I blame the way she was raised. While she is a strong woman, she is more fragile than she will ever admit.

I am her father. Her mother and I were high school sweethearts, but her parents refused to let her marry a farmer. When we got pregnant, she ran off and married my brother. Beth has no knowledge of any of this. I am leaving it in your hands, whether you want to tell her or not.
Follow your heart. Not only with this, but with all that you do. You will do great things, son.
Joseph

 

[pa1ndru1d]

Dan read the letter and tears filled his eyes. “Oh my God.” His eyes flew over the page again and again as he leaned back against the truck. “Rupert? Why did he leave the decision up to me? I don’t want to have to make this decision. Who am I to say…” Daniel’s voice trailed off and he looked up to Rupert with pleading eyes.

“Did you know?” Dan’s voice grew sterner and he found himself suddenly angry. “Did Joe tell you about this? Why wouldn’t he just tell her himself? I mean. What the fuck, Rupert.”