Memories on the Ozarks (Close)

[TabascoKV]

She hadn’t even realized that she had been chewing on her lip until he brought it up. His words knocked the breath out of her, and for a moment, she was sure she had not heard him right. She felt her blush spread through her entire body, and found it almost impossible to swallow. There was nothing she could say to that.

“Daniel…” There was a reluctant warning in her voice when she spoke, her eyes conveying a desire she was trying desperately to ignore.

 

[pa1ndru1d]

He knew that tone all too well, but he saw the desire in her eyes. Dan didn’t know what to do. He wasn’t about to get burned again.

“Look, darlin’. It’s good. We’re good.” He shook his head as a real smile appeared. “You know where I am, take your time. “But, I really think I better go before I make an ass of myself again.” His chuckle was genuine as well as he started to get up from the couch. “Don’t forget to give me a call when you ride Brisa, k?”

 

[TabascoKV]

Beth watched him leave, an inner battle raging inside of her. She desperately wanted to run after him and just give in to the want. Even as she prepared for bed, it took a strong will to keep from climbing into her truck and driving down to him. When she fell asleep, she drifted off with Daniel Collins on her mind.

*

It was mid-morning, and Beth stood inside the arena with Brisa already saddled up. She had called Dan earlier, and she was apprehensive when she realized that a good number of farmhands were prepared to witness what she was going to attempt to do. At the moment, she was focused on breathing and trying to calm her own nerves. Finally, she approached Brisa and reached up for the saddle horn. With one swift move, Beth pulled herself up on top of the mare.

She didn’t realize she was holding her breath until her chest felt ready to explode. Exhaling slowly, gently rubbed the horse’s neck. She spoke softly in Spanish as she sat there, simply allowing Brisa to warm up to having somebody on her back. The horse took a few steps backwards, and Beth could feel Brisa’s muscles tense. Beth switched from speaking in Spanish to singing in Spanish, and the mare calmed down.

There was silence all around them, which Beth was thankful for. She waited ten minutes before she gently urged Brisa into a walk. It took a few tries before the horse complied, but Beth couldn’t keep the huge grin off her face.

“Good girl.” Reaching out, she patted the horse on the neck. They walked around the arena no less than ten times before she eased her into a light trot.

All was going well. Without warning, somebody down at the stables turned on one of the tractors, cutting through the silence. Brisa became spooked and began kicking her legs. Beth managed to hold on for the first buck, but became unhorsed during the second one. Flipping over the front of the mare, she hit the ground on her back. The wind was knocked out of her, but she used what little strength she had to roll out from under the horse.

 

[pa1ndru1d]

4 am came way too early. Dan busied himself throughout the morning, worrying that she’d try and ride Brisa without him being there. Dan trusted the other farm hands, but not near as much as he trusted himself. Normally, Dan took it personally when anyone got hurt on the farm, unless it was an act of sheer stupidity.

Dan got the call and drove like a bat out of hell to get to the arena. Clouds of dust plumed up behind his truck and he only prayed that none of the school kids saw him. They were all supposed to be out at the lake today, so he should be in the clear. As it was, Dan arrived just as Becca was climbing on top of Brisa. Dan held his breath as she took her first tentative steps. Dan was silently cheering them both on, pride filling him as if he, himself had trained her.

When the tractor started up, Dan was already hopping the fence. Swear to God, I’ll beat their ass… Even though it probably wasn’t their fault, maybe they didn’t know… Dan saw that Becca was still moving so he went straight to Brisa. He was there in a flash, but came up slowly, presenting himself with a calm demeanor. He spoke softly to the mare. He didn’t know Spanish, so he prayed that Becca had been working with her in English as well.

Dan grabbed the reigns and began to pet the side of her neck cooing to her and shushing her. Soon her wild eyes began to calm and he handed the reigns to Jon. He moved over to check on Becca where she stood with another hand. “You ok? We need a doctor?”

 

[TabascoKV]

Beth laid there for a moment, praying that the horse chose to go in the opposite direction. With the dirt being kicked up, she couldn’t see what was going on around her. Finally, when felt she could breathe, she tried to pull herself up. She got halfway up, and nearly fell back down, but one of the farmhands caught her. Every breath sent a shock through her body, but she didn’t think anything was broken. When Dan approached her, she tried to stand on her on fruition, but found she wasn’t quite ready for that.

“I don’t think anything’s broken. I’m done for the day.” She cast a slow glance towards the stables, her eyes narrowing. “I don’t blame her for that.”

 

[pa1ndru1d]

Dan helped her back to her office, where he lay her down on the old beat up couch that sat in there. He carefully checked her over, poking and prodding here and there (just as he would have for anyone else that took a tumble on the ranch) to ensure that nothing was broken. Satisfied, he asked her to just stay put for a minute while he got her a bottle of water from the mini-fridge.

“You shouldn’t have gotten on that horse until after I was there.” He said, chastising her. “Did you spread the word that you was testin a fresh horse today?”

 

[TabascoKV]

Beth allowed herself to be led to Dan’s office, leaning on him for support. Her right ankle had twisted, but it was nothing more than that. Despite the pain, she found herself relishing his strong arm wrapped around her. She started to object to lying down, but couldn’t find it within herself to do so. She winced as he prodded around, confident of where bruises were going to pop up.

“You were there.” Snapping at him half-heartedly, she took the bottle of water from him. “Yes, I even had it posted down in the barn in case I had missed anybody. They probably didn’t realize the sound would carry up so loudly.”

She made an effort to push herself up into a sitting position, whimpering lightly as a sharp pain shot through her back. Finally, she just gave up and consented to lying there.

 

[pa1ndru1d]

Dan brought her the water and playfully put a hand on her shoulder, as if her were forcing her to stay put. That settles it, someone’s getting their head thumped before the day is out, he thought. He gently stripped her shoe and sock from her foot, watching as it swelled. “Be right back.”

He stepped out to the deep freezer and pulled a couple bags of ice. Grabbing a clean towel, he went back in to the office and packed her ankle in the wrapped bags. “Your back is tore up, too, ain’t it.” It was a statement more than a question. Dan went to his desk drawer and retrieved the heating pad.

“I ain’t gettin’ frisky, I promise.” Dan’s smile was designed to put her to ease. He carefully slid a hand beneath the small of her back and lifted her while he put the pad in place. After it was plugged in, he set it to heat for ten minutes then shut off for twenty. “That oughta help considerably, you stay put an’ I’ll be right back.”

Dan took left the office again, but when he left Becca’s sight, he moved quickly – asking questions about who was driving the tractor earlier. It only took him a couple of minutes to determine the culprit was Jose. Dan found him working his tattered baseball hat in his hands; a look of worry written in his eyes. “Es she hokay?” He asked.

“She’ll be ok, Jose. What was you thinkin’? Didn’t you see the posts?” At the sign of how badly Jose felt over Becca getting hurt, some of the fire left Dan.

“Si, yes, I didn’t think it being so loud. What can I do? I’m so sorry.” Jose was truly remorseful.

Dan decided that he could let him off the hook, so he told him as much; but he stressed the point of thinking before acting and the costs of the consequences…

He hurried back to the office, bringing with him two ibuprofen tabs. Dan took Becca’s hand and placed the pills in it. “There, take these. Keep the swellin’ down.”

 

[TabascoKV]

Becca lay there and closed her eyes, trying to ignore the throbbing in her body. Right at that moment, everything hurt. She felt herself drifting into a light sleep when Daniel returned. A muffled whimper escaped her at the coldness from the ice. The towel did very little to ease the pain from the ice, or maybe her ankle was just worse off than she’d originally thought and the pressure of the ice was letting her know.

“I feel like I got run over by a truck.” She opened her eyes halfway as he walked away from her, her heartbeat pounding in her temples. A chill she prayed he didn’t see scattered down her body as his hand slid down her back. When he lifted her, a sharp pain ran up her spine, causing her to cry out. Her mouth made a tiny ‘o’ shape as she exhaled slowly. She didn’t bother to open her eyes as he left, but offered him a slow nod.

She had started to drift off into sleep again when Dan interrupted her. Becca downed the pills quickly before settling back down on the couch, shivering slightly.

“Can I sleep now?” Her voice came out tiny and meek.

 

[pa1ndru1d]

“So long as you didn’t bang your head. I think yer s’posed to stay awake if you have a concussion.” Dan grabbed a throw rug and draped it over her.

“I’ll be right here if you need me.” With that, Dan stepped outside the door and made some quick calls to various hands around the ranch. Setting his phone on vibrate, Dan went back in and sat at her desk. After a few moments he saw Jonny through the glass of the office door. Dan thanked him quietly and grabbed the handful of paperwork he had sent for.

He sat to do some work, periodically checking on her swollen ankle and to make sure Becca didn’t start to run a temperature.

 

[TabascoKV]

“Nah, the ground cushioned my fall.” Smiling in her slight delirium, she peeked out at him under one eye lid. “I’ve had concussions, and this is not one.” With the quietness, she quickly fell asleep. She woke up at one point when he touched her forehead, her eyes remaining closed. His hand was so warm, and the calloused hand thrilled her. Before she knew it, the comfort was gone.

“It’s cold in here.” Her voice came out hoarse when she spoke, and she opened her eyes looking towards him.

 

[pa1ndru1d]

“The ground… cushioned…” Dan repeated in amusement. “Yer so funny.”

Dan popped a mug of water in the microwave and let it heat up for a few minutes and found a pouch of orange pekoe tea. “Glad to see you’re awake.” He smiled as he carried the steeping tea to her. “Marcus took his space heater when he came to clear out his shi… stuff. I didn’t see one so assumed that you hadn’t replaced it.”

The temperature was a little chilly as this office had always been a bit colder than the other offices in the barn, but not as chilly as the stable section. The horses preferred a temp of around 60 degrees in the winter months. They generally kept the offices around 68, but this one was somewhere around 65.

Dan brought her afghan that sat draped over the back of her chair and laid it over her legs. While he was there, he checked on her ankle one more time to find that the swelling had gone down some. “I imagine it would be cold, though, Miss Becca.” He smiled softly again, “You slept right up til dark. It’s almost 8:30. What would you like to eat? Supper is on me.”

 

[TabascoKV]

Becca slowly pushed herself into a sitting position, wincing slightly. She took the tea from him, wrapping her hands around the warm mug more for comfort than anything. Her smile was genuine when he draped the blanket over her. The tea slid down her throat, warming all the way down to her stomach.

“I can’t believe I slept so late.” Shaking her head, she tried to rotate her ankle, but the pain made her stop.

“I don’t have an appetite. I know you must be ready to go home. I’m sorry.”

 

[pa1ndru1d]

Dan watched her try to sit up. He didn’t move to help her because he wanted to judge how badly she was still hurt. That gauge would make all the difference on the night to come. He knew better than to try leaving her to her own devices, she was just stubborn enough to do something that might hurt herself worse.

“Now, Becca…” Dan put on his serious, ranch manager face, “As ranch manager it is my responsibility to ensure that all the ranch hands are taken care of. Normally, I’d have sent you to the emergency room, but we both know that you wouldn’t have gone. So, I won’t have you arguing with me tonight.”

He waited until she finished her tea, “This might hurt a lil’ bit.” He bent and gently picked her up and began to carry her to the house. “All right. So, I wouldn’t have ever carried Marcus like this to his house.” His smile was bright in the waning light and he kept talking to her in hopes of distracting her from her pain. “And I don’t much mind if you choose to eat or not, although I do have fairly strong feelin’s about fuelin’ the body so it will have the strength to heal. I will be stayin’ with you much like I would an injured colt. I’ll also be mending your injuries and cookin’ supper.”

Dan thought she had gone long enough without eating that the smell might push her back into being hungry. He reached the back door in record time. “Will you pull that handle for me, please?” When they made it inside he carried her back to her bedroom and laid her on the massive bed. Dan figured that it would make it easier if she needed to use the restroom. “You go ahead an’ get changed for bed, Becca. I’ll be back in a bit to make sure you got back into bed.”

Dan pulled the door to and he headed for the kitchen to see what he could find for supper.

 

[TabascoKV]

Staring at him, an amused smile crossed her face as he spoke to her with such authority in his voice. It felt so strange to have somebody taking care of her. She had always been the one taking care of the people around her. When he walked over to her, she looked at him with a perplexed expression. She buried her face in his neck, muffling the whimper that erupted. One arm curled around his neck, and she closed her eyes. The smell of outdoors flooded her nose, making her feel extremely feminine in his arms.

She chuckled lightly, wincing from the pain.

“You know, it’s amazing you don’t have more women than Jasmine lining up for you with such sweet words as those. I don’t think I’ve ever been compared to an injured horse before.” Grinning, her forehead remained resting against his shoulder.

The plush bed below her comforted her wounds, and made it that much more difficult to pry herself out of bed. It took her an unusual amount of time to make it to her dresser and then to her bathroom. She walked slightly hunched over and with a limp, creating impatience within her. Once she was in the bathroom, she decided to try a shower.

Better to ask forgiveness than permission. Her uncle’s words came rolling back to her. Dan would just have to deal with her taking the time to shower. She bathed as quickly as she possibly could, convinced that some of the droplets rolling down her cheeks were tears. Turning the water off, she slowly climbed out, dried off, and got dressed in a pair of old shorts and a tank top.

After towel drying her hair, she returned to her bed, exhaling slowly as she melted into the mattress.

 

[pa1ndru1d]

Dan rolled his eyes dramatically when she mentioned Jasmine but didn’t say a word. His smile told her he took it in stride.

He heard the water start running as he found some leftover pork tenderloin in the fridge. Just proves my point. Can’t trust her to be here alone… He shook his head as he chopped it up. Dan threw it in the pan along with some lo mein noodles, sugar snap peas, baby corn, water chestnuts and soy sauce. Soon the oriental cuisine was creating an aroma that filled the house.

Dan poured the mixture on to two plates and carried them on a tray to the bedroom. Glasses filled with sweet tea accompanied them. “Yes. I heard the water. If you had been patient I would have run you a bath and the soaking would have relaxed your back and ankle.” Dan shook his head, showing his dissatisfaction with her choice. “I guess, now, you have no choice but to appease me by cleaning your plate…” Daniel looked down his nose at her as he delicately placed the tray on the bed.

 

[TabascoKV]

“Yes, mother.” Smirking, she took the plate from him, her nose wrinkling slightly. Her stomach rumbled loudly as the aroma of the food wafted into her nose. Taking a bite, her eyes closed in silent appreciation. So, he was right about the food thing.

“Thank you for cooking.” She adjusted slightly, her back growing stiff. She ate in silence for awhile, but then took a sip of tea, looking up at him.

“What’s the deal with you and Jasmine anyway? I haven’t seen her around in awhile.” It really wasn’t her business, but curiosity got the better half of her.

 

[pa1ndru1d]

“Yer welcome, Miss Becca. Was my pleasure.” His smile almost dropped from his face when she brought up Jasmine again. “I tried to tell ya, things wasn’t quite the way they seemed.” He chewed on another bite of food as he thought how to phrase things. “She used me that night in the bar. She knew that it’d piss that lil’ punk Jimmy off, so she threw eyes at me. Jasmine is always lookin out for what Jasmine can get, you see, and Jimmy is just great for the things he can provide.”

Dan slowly worked another bite unsure how far he should take this story. “She used me. I used her back and I let her know that it would never happen again.” It was evident that he wasn’t proud of his actions, he seemed to have issues with controlling himself – as if there was a constant battle with the Dan that was and the Dan he had become.

 

[TabascoKV]

Becca couldn’t deny a relieved feeling that crept up inside of her. The fact that she felt that way irritated her slightly. She shouldn’t care what he did in that aspect of his life. It bothered her that he could use somebody in such a manner, and even though she could see the regret in his eyes, it made it easier for her to put up a barrier. Nodding in response, she ate a couple more bites before setting the plate on the bed next to her.

“If you call me ‘miss’ one more time, I’m going to get up out of bed and kick your butt. It might take me ten minutes to get over there to you, but I will.” Grinning, she slid down a little further in an attempt to take some of the pressure off her back.

“Have you talked to Matt today?” She felt like she was bringing up a taboo topic, but she wanted to check on him if there was any news.

 

[pa1ndru1d]

Dan had to hand it to himself, supper was pretty good. It probably didn’t hurt that he had sat in her office all afternoon, skipping lunch himself in case she woke up in a lot of pain.

He thought he saw disappointment in her eyes and thought to himself that it was fitting, for he felt the same way himself.

He pushed aside the negative feelings about himself. “No, ma’am.” Dan grinned mischievously. “I haven’t seen him. It happens like that sometimes. I know he’s been cuttin’ back his man power over there and been pickin’ up a lot of the slack himself.”

Dan paused a second, then reached into his shirt pocket. “I found these up in the cabinet. I have no idea how old they are, but I thought it fitting.” He tossed a fortune cookie onto her lap. Cracking open his own, he began to read aloud but stopped when he realized what it said. “The one you love is closer than you think.”

 

[TabascoKV]

Becca nodded as she drained the last of her tea. She was worried about Matt and his farm. She needed to make it over to his house and talk to him. Maybe she could take a look at the will his father had left and find a loop hole. She looked at him curiously as he pulled the fortune cookies out of his pocket. Taking the one he handed her, she chuckled lightly as the cookie bent rather than snapped; a sign that they had probably been in the kitchen for some time.

She looked up when he started reading and then stopped, her eyebrows furrowing slightly. Looking down at hers, she read it out loud.

“Your blessing is no more than being safe and sound for the whole lifetime.” Her voice softened, an pained look in her eyes when she finished reading. She absentmindedly rubbed the scar on her arm, not able to believe the little black words. Not that she’d ever truly believed in fortunes.

“What does yours say?”

 

[pa1ndru1d]

Almost as an after thought Dan added, “Truth be told, that was my entire reason for inviting Matt to supper last night. Wanted to bring up the farm situation. I figured that between the deal that Joe and I were working out with him and your fresh views on things, we might be able to figure some way to save it.”

Grateful for the change in subject Dan laughed at Becca’s rubber cookie. His own wasn’t rubbery, but was incredibly stale and forced him to make an ‘ick’ face when he absent mindedly popped a piece of it in his mouth. The piece came right back out almost as fast as it went in. “Wow,” he said, “one would think I’d have learned from your rubber cookie that mine prolly wasn’t any good either, huh?”

The thought that ran through his head surprised him as she read her fortune, If she’d let me, I’d be that safety net for her for the rest of her days. He hadn’t even realized that he was looking for a long term relationship…

Dan wanted to lie. He so badly wanted to fabricate anything, even if it was a joke. He opened his mouth to tell her what it said, but “Becca, I know it isn’t my business, not really; but tell me why you didn’t come back to see Joe. I watched him sink into depression every summer and found out later it was because he missed you sooo much…” came out instead.

 

[TabascoKV]

“I want to take a look at his father’s will, if he’ll let me. I may be able to find a loophole in it somewhere. If not, then I may just try calling Sarah and John and giving them hellfire and fury.” Grinning, she slowly rolled over on her side, flinching as she did so. Her muscles were beginning to tighten and stiffen. Sleep was beginning to beckon her exhausted body again. She laughed lightly at the expression on his face when he ate the cookie.

She closed her eyes, listening to his voice, and feeling completely at ease. It was almost strange for the two of them to be getting along so well.

And then…he spoke.

Her eyes opened; an unreadable expression in her hazel eyes as she looked at him. She debated it, fought with herself over it, and was still left with a strong urge to keep it to herself. The intense emotion she got from his gaze unnerved her.

“I told you. I wasn’t allowed.” She spoke softly, her eyes closing again as she shivered slightly.

 

[pa1ndru1d]

“We sat down with Rupert and poured over it. His father set it up so that all three kids had equal say in what happened with the farm. Unfortunately, Rupert felt that he should have put in a provision that the farm be taken care of. Course, I ain’t no lawyer.” The lights went on in Dan’s head. “Hey… you was a lawyer in your earlier life, huh?”


They sat staring at one another for a moment. Dan had hopes that she was actually going to give in on something personal, and this was one point that Dan really needed to be cleared up. He actually had feelings for someone. Real feelings, feelings that he had not felt in… well, ever. Dan had a horrifying moment where he was afraid that he had just fucked things up royally; her gaze had turned steely and cold.

Dan couldn’t wait for her to seal herself back off from him. He moved forward and, dropping down to one knee, leaned in gently to place his hands over hers. “Becca,” Dan swallowed a huge chunk of healthy fear, “I need to know. I loved your uncle more than I have loved anyone else I have ever known.”

He had definitely left his comfort zone far behind. Dan’s mouth went dry and he bit his bottom lip. “In order for…” He stopped and his gaze dropped to their hands.

 

[TabascoKV]

“Rupert is a great lawyer, but his whole career has been spent here. He doesn’t know how to be cutthroat in the court room.” She smiled fondly at the topic of the old man, shaking her head slightly. A small chuckle escaped her lips. “I graduated with honors from Harvard law. There’s practically an entire class on how create loopholes out of the impossible. And how to make people feel like the scum of the earth and thereby guilting them into complying with one’s wishes.”

He took her by surprise when he moved closer to her. For the umpteenth time, it was very difficult for her to ignore his close presence. His question spurned her, and she stared at him. She tried to think of different ways to tell him what he wanted to know, but she just couldn’t. Her gaze dropped from his, the sting of tears coming close to overwhelming her.

“Dan, I want to tell you, but I’m just not ready to talk about it.” Looking up, her voice wavered slightly. She didn’t want to lose whatever ground they had covered, but she was unable to revisit what she was trying so hard to overcome. “It’s not that I don’t trust you. I just can’t face it yet. When I can talk about it, I will.”