Most Disturbing Thing I've Ever Read

[Gingersnap]

I tell you what is more disturbing to me then her obvious mental illness is the fact that she is training to be a special ed teacher. I mean does anyone else want to just scream when they think of her in a classroom full of kids.
I hope and pray she never gets her "hooks" into any special needs kids. They have enough to contend with and this is one sicko that needs to be medicated and kept away.

 

[Kasha]

things that make you say.."Eeewwwwww"

This is so so odd. I mean I am all for doing what you like as long as it doesn't hurt someone else...but hey this is just straight balls to the wall, 2 tacos short of a combo platter..ya know. I think to myself...gees..how could I live without my hands..I've had them so long.. Now if it were medically necessary..I guess I would get over it..but there is something real f'd up about fantasizing about wanting hooks for hands when it isn't necessary..Do you think these "devotees" get off to like Captain Hook? There is a movie this kinda reminds me of..it is called "Crash" and I think James Spader is in it..anyhow essentially the movie is about this couple that gets off on getting hurt in car crashes..they like have to wear these Marilyn Manson type leg braces...any how it was just super odd... I don't know why but I am always surprised how shocked I am when I hear about some new bizzaro behavior...like people fantasizing about being swallowed (literally) and I even saw a site with stories about..and this to me was horrific...women being impaled on barbecue spicks..like a roasted pig would be put on...and they are alive and sexually turned on by being roasted alive.....WEIRD!!!!!!!!... but in the end I suppose to each his own....but I can't help but think "eeewwwwww"..

 

[jcgirl]

omg that was foul

 

[CRaZy]

Not the worst by a long shot...

OK. I personally think this girl is merely seeking attention. She's gaining far more than she'd receive if she just said, "I'm going to kill myself." Let's look at this logically. If she is serious the only person she is harming is herself. Perhaps there will be some financial cost to society if medical insurance etc actually does pay.

This is nowhere near as bad as:-
giving a decree to kill all Jews
ordering the dropping of an atomic bomb
killing your wife and getting away with it because you are famous

Nope. This person hardly tips the richter scale when it comes to insanity.

 

[CRaZy]

I felt the cold, unforgiving metal forging a trail across my torso. Fear and lust melded into one as I wondered whether she would caress me gently or tear me apart.....

OK. I'm SICK. Perhaps you need to lock us away together.

 

[Guest]

Why don't you judge everyone that has the courage to step out on their own and take controll of thier own lives.

http://bme.freeq.com/

 

[Guest]

I wonder....

 

[Bonnie Wee Lassie]

Omg I thought the site Laurel put up was bad but the one waterproof put up was sick expecially whent you see the hardcore stuff!

 

[Guest]

Ok, I've got my analytical cap on...

It's interesting to see how much anger is being directed towards her. ("She needs a bullet in the head" etcetera.) What she wants to do is so far outside the bounds of normal thought that the only response is disgust and anger. We don't know any other reaction to have. We can't sympathise or empathise 'cause that means going inside her mind, which is obviously quite a scary place.

I'm exactly the same. It's like a horrific car crash or real violence on tv. I'm strangely fascinated but I need to look away. It's too close to home - mangled bodies, blood and dislodged limbs remind us of our own bodies and how fragile they are, how one little error of judgement or stroke of bad luck on a busy road could leave us looking like that - deformed and "less than human".

I think what disturbs me most about it is that she's not just one mixed up person with a distorted self-image. She has a whole peer-pressure network of other people thinking the same way and encouraging her to go through with it. There's obviously a sub-culture developing around this. My friend Paul once jokingly said that he thought that the way body art and piercings were heading, the fashions of the future would be all about amputation, people proudly displaying their designer prosthetics by Gucci and Versace. Oh, how we laughed.

Maybe it's a symptom of a society so obsessed with perfection and beauty that anyone who is already a bit mixed up is pushed further and further towards the margins of society. They begin to embrace the grotesque in place of airbrushed sanitised (and just as freakish) Hollywood beauty. Like that female artist who has surgically had horns screwed into her skull to make her look like a devil. Or the male artist who regularly infects himself with different diseases to see how they distort his body. Or the woman I saw on a tv program the other day who'd had her vagina sewn shut 'cause she thought it made it look prettier. Or Lolo Ferrari, the French porno actress who after multiple operations ended up with the largest breasts in the world - so large that she could only stand upright for brief periods of time and could not travel by air in case they exploded. She died of an overdose a year ago and in the documentary about her, she clearly had a lot of self-loathing and a low self-esteem. She'd made herself into a freakshow caricature of the "perfect woman". These things make me feel just as squeemish and sad.

It's easier to just get angry and point all your disgust and disbelief at the woman who's so disturbed she wants to have her real working hands replaced with hooks. But what kind of a society made her end up that way?

 

[FlamingoBlue]

There is always someome who is even...

more fucked up than that. I am sure that it will appear on the BB, soon.

blue

 

[MADDOG]

Um... how did you even find that site?!

I don't know, I can sort of understand it. I used to want video cameras for eyes like the Terminator. So I could zoom in on things. And see in the dark. And freak people out.

 

[Madame Pandora]

I have an uncle who had a terrible accident and nearly lost his leg. It has to be set, rebroken, and reset several times before they knew if he would walk again. It was also discussed several times that he may have to lose the leg from the knee down, or perhaps more. The monstrosity metal device he wore for a year and a half during this process alone was enough to make people gape in awe whenever we took him somewhere.

Since he was facing the possibilities and living with us at the time, we talked a lot about it. He didn’t want to lose his leg. He didn’t want to wear a prosthesis. Certainly, he would have faced it and gone on with life if it had come to that. But he said even the brace made him feel a little less human. Like some creature out of a cyberpunk comic. And I guess that’s what bothers me (and I imagine the others) most about this girl. She is so willing to cast aside such important elements of her physical humanity.

I know as science advances we are going to have more ethical decisions about physical enhancements and cloning and such, but it is my personal opinion that science should ADD and not replace or take away. Science should be a step up, not to the side or back.

Say what you want about free thinking. This is a young woman who wants to chop her hands off and replace them with metal hooks – and a great deal of her reasoning is sexual.

I joke because, frankly, when faced with something like this, I have to. I can’t tell another human being what to do, and I can’t fathom her reasoning.

No, it doesn’t make her Hitler. It’s not the worst thing in the world. And, yes, I can see wanting to write a story about it, or maybe even PRETENDING because you think it’s cool. But when you are SERIOUSLY considering removing working parts of your own limbs, well, in my opinion that’s not being a “free thinker” that’s a girl in need of help.

MP

 

[Dixon Carter Lee]

The good news is that she won't be able to type any more stupidity on her web site.

 

[CelestialBody]

 

[Guest]

 

[Guest]

I might not be around the board much longer. I'm getting my... uhm... appendage whacked off and replaced with a 3-speed vibrator. It's all the rage, seemingly.

 

[Laurel]

I might not be around the board much longer. I'm getting my... uhm... appendage whacked off and replaced with a 3-speed vibrator. It's all the rage, seemingly.

Wow! Make sure you take pics for the Amateurs section...

Really people this is America remember "Freedom of Choice" and "Expression" ..... Do you really want to start infringing on someone elese's rights????

LOL! Hey, just 'cause someone has the right to be a moron doesn't mean I don't have the right to call em a moron...

LAUREL.....I went to that site and found myself "hooked" to it. I just couldn't leave that site.

*groan* hehe

 

[CRaZy]

Subculture

I liked what Roger Simian said about society and the whole subculture angle. Whatever deformity (cruel word I think) you have, there is a group in society who will be fascinated by it. I have two friends who are cases in point.

First friend had a leg removed due to bone cancer at 15. She has always received sexual advances from guys who have a fascination with amputees. She went to bed with a couple of them and they kissed her stump to the exclusion of all else until she asked them to get on with it. (Now happily married to a non amputee fetishist but still receives lots of offers).

My other friend is severely height challenged (dwarfism). She first had sex with a teacher at school who "mercy fucked" her because he thought not many other men would want to. How wrong he was. I think she received more offers than all of us put together. Unfortunately most of them wanted her to whisper, "Daddy, daddy." (Has been married and divorced twice, two great kids, neither height challenged and still receives numerous offers).

Whilst these fetishists may seem bizarre, at least they are propositioning people who already have the challenge. In this girl's case, her fiancee is prepared to let her do this drastic thing in order to fulfil his desires. She so lacks in self worth that she's prepared to do it.

I still think the website is not totally genuine. As a linguistics specialist, there are certain things you can look for to gauge sincerity in writing. Sections of the site just don't ring true. This might be about making money by appearing on Oprah or such ilk? The red rose border is almost satiric in a way. It's also possible that her fiancee wrote most of this, not the girl herself.

People do strange things to get attention - make themselves sick, undertake suicide attempts, set fires, bomb buildings, commit murders. Perhaps this girl's story evokes greater reaction than some other attention seeking methods because it is closer to our own psyche than we care to admit. Whilst most of us would not consider planting a bomb or committing a murder to gain attention, we all have addictions and fetishes. Perhaps we are afraid that it would not take much to push us over an abyss into which our own addiction/fetish manifested itself in a dangerous form, rather than just being a simple expression of our individual humanity.

 

[Laurel]

Re: Subculture

I still think the website is not totally genuine. As a linguistics specialist, there are certain things you can look for to gauge sincerity in writing. Sections of the site just don't ring true. This might be about making money by appearing on Oprah or such ilk? The red rose border is almost satiric in a way. It's also possible that her fiancee wrote most of this, not the girl herself.

People do strange things to get attention - make themselves sick, undertake suicide attempts, set fires, bomb buildings, commit murders. Perhaps this girl's story evokes greater reaction than some other attention seeking methods because it is closer to our own psyche than we care to admit. Whilst most of us would not consider planting a bomb or committing a murder to gain attention, we all have addictions and fetishes. Perhaps we are afraid that it would not take much to push us over an abyss into which our own addiction/fetish manifested itself in a dangerous form, rather than just being a simple expression of our individual humanity.

That crossed my mind more than once. Even if it she's pranking, the idea of voluntarily removing limbs isn't a prank. A couple of years ago, a doctor here in San Diego was convicted of manslaughter or murder (I'll have to go find the article for y'all) because he removed a man's leg and the man eventually died. The patient was in his fifties. He had a lifelong desire to be without a leg - a sexual desire. Apparently, he's not the first case. It's some sort of psychological syndrome or fetish in which the person gets sexually aroused by the idea of being an amputee.

This girl's case doesn't seem like the same thing. She seems more excited about having hooks for hands than about the actual removal of said hands. It could very well be that she's not joking - that she wants her hands amputated - but I don't think it's a sexual thing or a burning need for her. I get the impression that she wants to shock people with her hooked limbs. I was a moody teen who dyed her hair colors and wore black and thought I was so different - unaware that thousands of other kids in thousands of other towns were doing the same thing - so I can empathize with her to some degree (though she IS a little too old to need that kind of attention, IMHO). Since moms and dads are getting tattoos and piercings, I guess kids have to go further to 'shock' their parents. I dunno...that's just my impression. Either way - real or not - I agree with CRaZy. It's a plea for attention. A really strange one.

 

[Guest]

I might not be around the board much longer. I'm getting my... uhm... appendage whacked off and replaced with a 3-speed vibrator. It's all the rage, seemingly.

Wow! Make sure you take pics for the Amateurs section...

lol. I've decided to go for a hose attachment instead - handier around the garden. You could maybe include the pic in your Water Sports section if you have one.

***

I was thinking about the girl last night. I used to nurse quite a few people who were self-harming - slashing all the way up their arms, not because they were seriously trying to kill themselves but because they said that that little moment of physical pain made them forget about their mental pain. They all had huge amounts of rage about the things that had happened or been done to them. The closest they could get to letting the rage out was to direct it at themselves. In a way those horrible deep scars were like a "FUCK YOU!" to the world. The scars looked so raw and ugly and there were always so many of them that they were obviously a way of showing the world how ugly they felt inside - displaying their mental anguish in a physical way.

Obviously, scars on your arm can be hidden beneath sleeves. Maybe what the Amputee Devotee wants to do is an extreme form of that kind of thing - she has such a low opinion of herself, such low self-worth that she wants everyone to know about it and she doesn't even want to hide it behind her sleeves... she wants it to be right there in everyone's faces: hooks instead of hands.

Or, maybe it's a variant on Munchaussens, a personality disorder where people get operations and treatments for illnesses and conditions they don't really have. It's how they get the attention and "mothering" they feel they are missing.

Or, another theory - maybe its an extreme form of the Sexual Submissive's lust for loss of control. You don't get much more submissive than having no hands.

Whatever the reasons, if it's true then she's someone who needs psychiatric help before she talks herself into something she wouldn't want to do if she was in a more stable frame of mind.

 

[Isabella Thorne]

That story is so gross I couldn't continue reading it ... things like that make me too sick ...

It actually reminded me though of the Ellen Jamesians ... the group of women who cut off their tongues in protest to a young girl, Ellen James, who was raped and had her tongue cut out by the rapists to prevent her from talking. It is a fictional account in the book / movie The World According to Garp.

Well Garp was so outraged that anybody would purposely mutilate their body. He had not sympathy for their cause because of the means they were using. Ellen James herself begged them to stop.

Cutting off healthy appendages, tongues, etc. purposely is grotesque ... whether they believe it is for a good cause or not ... and in this case the girl doesn't even have a cause she is protesting .... not that it would make it right ...

Oh yuck .... just yuck.

 

[FlamingoBlue]

Yuck says I, too, Izzy....

Hope you are well. I miss you.

blue

 

[Sparky Kronkite]

This is.......

Without a doubt.......

The strangest site I've ever witnessed......

HANDS DOWN!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Ambrosious]

Sparky

ROFLMAO!!

 

[button]

Sick, sick, sick, sick! This girl is a fucking nutcase!