My country doesn't exist

[SummerMorning]

SummerMorning states 'I have a Marxist mug'.

I have a Yugoslavian Girl Pioneer's belt - I swapped it for a UK Boy Scout's belt.

I think at the time both of us were committing a heinous offence against President Tito's edicts. What else we did I will not report.

Og

Yes, but my Marxist mug is from Budapest and it says: "I'm from the old school, I like my coffee black and my communism red." On the reverse side it has a logo resembling that of Starbucks but with Lenin in the middle.

The motto is a lie of course. I like my coffee "machiatto".

 

[SummerMorning]

You've just given me ideas for holiday snacks - surprise!

Here's my surprise: 1 bottle of Valter's homestill mead for me. If I'm lucky, I won't know when the New Year comes.

 

[SummerMorning]

OK ... I really have to shuffle off to bed. Have to get up early mattins to catch a ski trip.

 

[LadyJeanne]

Here's my surprise: 1 bottle of Valter's homestill mead for me. If I'm lucky, I won't know when the New Year comes.

In my family, Slivovica is what Windex is the Greeks in My Big Fat Greek Wedding - a cure-all. You have a cold, have a shot of Slivovica. Fever, have a shot. Toothache, soak a cotton ball with Slivovica and put it on your tooth. If you're cold, heat up some Slivovica and honey...careful, you might light it on fire!

 

[Munachi]

Well, Chile looks like Gandalf's staff.

And Swaziland looks like an egg.

I always thought Denmark looked a bit like a ... well ... you know ... er ... "widget".

Utah (or was it Colorado?) looks like a square. So do a few of the other states, come to think of it.

Italy looks like a boot ... with a very puffed out knee.

Korea also looks like a ... well ... droopy widget.

Peru looks a bit like a lying down cat or dog, if you turn the map some degrees.

 

[OhMissScarlett]

That's just because Slovakia is dirt poor with a dreadful Giny coefficient by comparison ... also, it's women are probably not quite so conservative.

I wasn't talking about women, but I'm sure that's very true.

 

[Pure]

Hi SM

You have to remember that even a large, neighbor country like Canada is rarely mentioned.

As for Slovenia (I'd love to visit)
Here is what a search of the NY Times gives for the last few days:
-------

December 6, 2005 - (AP)
Greece Hands Over Flame for Turin Games
... , Switzerland and Slovenia -- begins Thursday.The relay will ...

December 6, 2005 - By THE ASSOCIATED PRESS (AP) - News
Champions Fall, and an Old Hand and a Young Force Rise
... Kranjska Gora, Slovenia. "Maybe this is ...

December 5, 2005 - By BILL PENNINGTON (NYT) - Sports - News
Reports of Secret U.S. Prisons in Europe Draw Ire and Otherwise Red Faces
... in Ljubljana, Slovenia; and Brian Wingfield in ...

December 1, 2005 - By IAN FISHER (NYT) - International - News
GYMNASTICS; American Women Win Two More Gold Medals
... Mitja Petrovsek of Slovenia displayed dynamic swings and clean ...View free preview

November 28, 2005 - (AP) - News - 531 words
Sports Briefing
... , Switzerland and Slovenia -- ends at the Turin ...View free preview

November 28, 2005 - (AP) - News - 617 words
In Meeting With Rival Factions, U.N. Envoy Paves Way for Kosovo Talks
... Dimitrij Rupel, Slovenia's foreign minister and current ...View free preview

November 26, 2005 - By NICHOLAS WOOD (NYT) - International - News - 1067 words
Positing a Less Strident, More Effective Bush
... , Slovakia and Slovenia were just fine in ad-hoc ...View free preview

 

[sweetnpetite]

LOL, political endowment issues.

they just haven't read their email.

 

[oggbashan]

Serendipity

Yesterday the Prime Minister of Slovenia visited Tony Blair at 10 Downing Street.

He was one of five visiting Prime Ministers (Finland, Portugal, The Netherlands, Slovenia and Sweden) but the Prime Minister of Slovenia was named, reported and his picture appeared in The Times.

Tony Blair was also visited yesterday by a plastic camel and an inflatable Mickey Mouse...

Og

Edited to add: Source: Pages 26 and 27 of The Times, December 9 2005

 

[SEVERUSMAX]

The British Sailors, being British, always wore their uniforms. Whites, of course because it was the tropics.

The Zanzibar soldiers didn't know what a uniform was. They didn't need to. The British Navy bombarded the King's Palace with heavy guns from long range until he surrendered. His harem was in danger of extinction...

He could either accept British 'protection' or be faced with the cost of replacing his harem, structure and inhabitants. Good harems are always an expensive luxury.

The British, of course, did not know that they were shelling the harem. They would have been horrified. Naval Officers are gentlemen and do not make war on ladies.

Og

That is partly because there is a misunderstanding of what a harem was in the Islamic context. A harem (from Arabic for "forbidden") was the section of the palace that was barred to outsiders and included not only the wives and concubines, but also the children, servants, and others who DIDN'T mate with the King or Sultan (like the eunuchs, for instance). It was literally the entire family (minus the grown offspring). If someone endangered YOUR entire family, you might think twice about fighting back (might not, too).

 

[scheherazade_79]

You should be thankful - at least your country isn't habitually referred to by the wrong name. Most foreigners seem to think that Wales is 'in England'. Even when I explain that I'm from Wales, I'm still referred to as 'English'...

These days I just pretend to be Icelandic whenever I'm abroad.

 

[oggbashan]

Country is important

I used to have a British Passport issued in Gibraltar.

I used it from age 11 to 21. It was similar to a normal UK passport except that the name and number were reversed on the cover and on the inside the message from the Governor of Gibraltar was very different from the normal UK version.

The Secretary of State on a UK passport used to ask other countries politely to allow UK citizens to enter.

The Governor of Gibraltar 'requested and required' that Gibraltar passport holders should be given entry.

It gave me problems twice:

1. On entry to what was then Yugoslavia the border control would not accept that my Gibraltarian passport was the same as a British Passport. The officer commanding the frontier post was summoned to adjudicate. He seemed amused rather than annoyed.

"Who is the Governor of Gibraltar that he tells us to admit you? Where is Gibraltar anyway?"

I showed him, on a small map in my diary, exactly where Gibraltar is.

"What could he do if we refused you entry?"

I suggested that he was unlikely to do anything but that Gibraltar does command the entrance to the Mediterranean.

"How does it command the entrance?"

I suggested that it had guns that covered the whole strait.

"Guns? My soldiers have guns. They could not stop a ship."

I suggested that Gibraltar's guns were rather larger than his soldiers' rifles.

"How large?"

I said that I thought they were at least twelve-inch guns.

"How much is twelve inches?"

I held my hands about a foot apart.

"My soldiers' rifles are longer than that..."

I explained that twelve inches was the calibre, not the length, that the shells weighed about a metric tonne. That made an impression. He led me out of the office and showed me a war memorial with a field gun mounted on it.

"That gun fired shells weighing nine kilos. How heavy did you say the shells of Gibraltar are?"

"One thousand kilos." I said.

I was allowed into Yugoslavia but the Intourist guide kept a strict watch on me...


On return to the UK the immigration service at Dover had changed its system. UK passport holders went into one queue. 'Foreigners' went into a second queue. Commonwealth citizens joined a third queue. The fourth and final queue was for 'Citizens of British Colonies'. I was the only colonial on the cross-channel ferry.

I had time for two cups of coffee before my UK resident friends joined me.

Og

 

[SummerMorning]

Yesterday the Prime Minister of Slovenia visited Tony Blair at 10 Downing Street.

He was one of five visiting Prime Ministers (Finland, Portugal, The Netherlands, Slovenia and Sweden) but the Prime Minister of Slovenia was named, reported and his picture appeared in The Times.

Tony Blair was also visited yesterday by a plastic camel and an inflatable Mickey Mouse...

Og

Edited to add: Source: Pages 26 and 27 of The Times, December 9 2005

They actually photographed him having his way with a plastic camel and an inflated mouse? GASP!

Yes ... I noticed that. Let me be the first to emphasize that our primer minister is a paranoid megalomaniac with a totalitarian streak and an imperfectly resolved oedipus complex.

Yes, I am not his analyst.

 

[SummerMorning]

You should be thankful - at least your country isn't habitually referred to by the wrong name. Most foreigners seem to think that Wales is 'in England'. Even when I explain that I'm from Wales, I'm still referred to as 'English'...

These days I just pretend to be Icelandic whenever I'm abroad.

Yes it is. People think it's Slovakia. Or they think it's in Yugoslavia (which doesn't exist anymore, BTW).

Try that for a change!

Then, the one time I try the trick you're talking about ... I end up with a guy trying to sell me waterpipes at an Egyptian bazaar in Italian and telling me how the Azzuri are a great football team.

 

[SummerMorning]

I used to have a British Passport issued in Gibraltar.

I used it from age 11 to 21. It was similar to a normal UK passport except that the name and number were reversed on the cover and on the inside the message from the Governor of Gibraltar was very different from the normal UK version.

The Secretary of State on a UK passport used to ask other countries politely to allow UK citizens to enter.

The Governor of Gibraltar 'requested and required' that Gibraltar passport holders should be given entry.

It gave me problems twice:

1. On entry to what was then Yugoslavia the border control would not accept that my Gibraltarian passport was the same as a British Passport. The officer commanding the frontier post was summoned to adjudicate. He seemed amused rather than annoyed.

"Who is the Governor of Gibraltar that he tells us to admit you? Where is Gibraltar anyway?"

I showed him, on a small map in my diary, exactly where Gibraltar is.

"What could he do if we refused you entry?"

I suggested that he was unlikely to do anything but that Gibraltar does command the entrance to the Mediterranean.

"How does it command the entrance?"

I suggested that it had guns that covered the whole strait.

"Guns? My soldiers have guns. They could not stop a ship."

I suggested that Gibraltar's guns were rather larger than his soldiers' rifles.

"How large?"

I said that I thought they were at least twelve-inch guns.

"How much is twelve inches?"

I held my hands about a foot apart.

"My soldiers' rifles are longer than that..."

I explained that twelve inches was the calibre, not the length, that the shells weighed about a metric tonne. That made an impression. He led me out of the office and showed me a war memorial with a field gun mounted on it.

"That gun fired shells weighing nine kilos. How heavy did you say the shells of Gibraltar are?"

"One thousand kilos." I said.

I was allowed into Yugoslavia but the Intourist guide kept a strict watch on me...


On return to the UK the immigration service at Dover had changed its system. UK passport holders went into one queue. 'Foreigners' went into a second queue. Commonwealth citizens joined a third queue. The fourth and final queue was for 'Citizens of British Colonies'. I was the only colonial on the cross-channel ferry.

I had time for two cups of coffee before my UK resident friends joined me.

Og

Lol. I can imagine. Good point about the guns.

I had a similar, if less interesting, story ... when I got my first passport the local embassy was all out of Slovenian Yugoslav passports. So I got a Macedonian one. Written mostly in cyrillics (which I didn't understand, obviously).

It wouldn't have been more than a passing annoyance if the damned country didn't have the poor grace to demise all of a sudden, leaving me ... for a period of about a month or two ... resident in Tanzania and the national of a country that claimed it was Macedonia but was eventually accepted as FYROM.

 

[Lauren Hynde]

Yes it is. People think it's Slovakia. Or they think it's in Yugoslavia (which doesn't exist anymore, BTW).

Try that for a change!

What change? Do you have any idea of how many Americans think Portugal is a Spanish island? lol

First, we're not an island. And second, we've been beating Spain in every battle we have had against them since 1128 - before there even was a Spain.

 

[SummerMorning]

What change? Do you have any idea of how many Americans think Portugal is a Spanish island? lol

First, we're not an island. And second, we've been beating Spain in every battle we have had against them since 1128 - before there even was a Spain.

*polite expletive,* I want to have your AV for a nightcap!

Oh ... the Spanish Island ... no. Seriously? I can hardly believe that. Portugal an island? When did the earthquake hit? I thought Lisbon was the last one?

 

[Lauren Hynde]

*polite expletive,* I want to have your AV for a nightcap!

Oh ... the Spanish Island ... no. Seriously? I can hardly believe that. Portugal an island? When did the earthquake hit? I thought Lisbon was the last one?

Well, I think the logical explanation involves contact with the Portuguese community in the US, which mostly originates from the Azores islands. But it could also be sheer ignorance.

 

[oggbashan]

Oldest ally

At least I know that Portugal is England's oldest ally.

Maybe that's why we export so many of our citizens there.

Og (who is saving some vintage port for Christmas)

 

[SummerMorning]

Well, I think the logical explanation involves contact with the Portuguese community in the US, which mostly originates from the Azores islands. But it could also be sheer ignorance.

Don't Aztecs live in the Azores?!?

 

[SummerMorning]

At least I know that Portugal is England's oldest ally.

Maybe that's why we export so many of our citizens there.

Og (who is saving some vintage port for Christmas)

I thought that was just because Ricardo and Smith kept using Portugal and England to manufacture little matrices with Wine and Cloth ... Gakk.

I can't think of the two countries without thinking of introductory economics courses.

 

[kendo1]

*Reuters*
This just in from our reporter in the region:

Text^Teaxt^Message follows*****

Got on the wrong plane. Thought I was in Slovakia.

Text^Text^Message ends*****

 

[oggbashan]

*Reuters*
This just in from our reporter in the region:

Text^Text^Message follows*****

Got on the wrong plane. Thought I was in Slovakia.

Text^Text^Message ends*****

That wouldn't matter for most TV journalists.

'And over to Joe Soap, our Middle East correspondent, reporting from Tel Aviv..." although the story is about Jerusalem;

or "Joe Soap, our Middle East correspondent, reporting from Bagdad..." when the story is about Somalia.

The TV companies know that viewers geopgraphical knowledge is poor. Any dusty looking city will do for anywhere in the Middle East. Any green jungle will do for most of SE Asia.

Why do they send political correspondents to stand outside 10 Downing Street or the Houses of Parliament in the wind and rain when there is nothing happening there and the report could be done from a warm and dry studio?

Og

 

[SummerMorning]

That wouldn't matter for most TV journalists.

'And over to Joe Soap, our Middle East correspondent, reporting from Tel Aviv..." although the story is about Jerusalem;

or "Joe Soap, our Middle East correspondent, reporting from Bagdad..." when the story is about Somalia.

The TV companies know that viewers geopgraphical knowledge is poor. Any dusty looking city will do for anywhere in the Middle East. Any green jungle will do for most of SE Asia.

Why do they send political correspondents to stand outside 10 Downing Street or the Houses of Parliament in the wind and rain when there is nothing happening there and the report could be done from a warm and dry studio?

Og

Easy. It LOOKS more believable! It LOOKS more informative.

If you actually let people believe that most news is pointless, shallow, misleading and often down-right incorrect ... why, they might come to the conclusion that having a functioning mind might be all they need!

Except for the weather of course. For that you just need a bit of common sense. And maybe an old guy in a rocking chair who's hip hurts.

 

[oggbashan]

Coca Cola

Yesterday I ordered a Coca Cola in a coffee shop.

I know. I shouldn't.

It came in a 500ml bottle with a glass half full of ice.

The bottle had been filled in Slovenia. A small sticker had been put on to give the ingredients in English.

I can't understand the economics of importing bottles of Coca Cola from Slovenia to the UK but it was here. I checked their display - all their Coca Cola bottles were from Slovenia.

Og