Phantom300
Phucking Phantastic
- Joined
- Nov 23, 2018
- Posts
- 416
Haven't gotten to tell this one in a while, so I figured I'd tell it here. The joke is fairly clean, no need for censoring words or anything.
*****
There is this older couple who never had children, Marvin and Mary. One day she tell her husband she'd like to have a child. Now, her biological clock has long since stopped ticking, but they have the means and find a doctor willing to try.
They meet for the first consultation with the doctor. He tells them he can make no promises, but will do his best. He schedules an examination the next day for Mary, then turns to the husband and hands him a sealed sample jar. He then tells Marvin he needs a sample from him to see what they are working with. He tells him to bring it in the next day when they come in for her exam.
The couple arrives at the doctor's office the next day. Marvin hands the doctor the sample jar, and it is empty. The seal hasn't even been broken. The doctor inquires of the husband what happened. He reminds him needs the sample from him to be able move forward after today. The husband sighs and speaks.
"Doc, I just... I just couldn't do it. I tried with my right hand, and it didn't work. So I tried with my left hand, and still nothing. I tried both hands next and I Still couldn't do it. So I asked my wife for help and she tried. First, she tried one hand, then the other, and even tried with both her hands. Nothing. Then she tried using her teeth too, and even that didn't work."
"Next we called the neighbor lady over, and she tried with her hands And her teeth at the same time, and still it didn't work. She even tried taking her teeth out and using her mouth that way, but still nothing would work."
"Doc, I'm sorry, but we just can't get the lid off this damn jar."
*****
There is this older couple who never had children, Marvin and Mary. One day she tell her husband she'd like to have a child. Now, her biological clock has long since stopped ticking, but they have the means and find a doctor willing to try.
They meet for the first consultation with the doctor. He tells them he can make no promises, but will do his best. He schedules an examination the next day for Mary, then turns to the husband and hands him a sealed sample jar. He then tells Marvin he needs a sample from him to see what they are working with. He tells him to bring it in the next day when they come in for her exam.
The couple arrives at the doctor's office the next day. Marvin hands the doctor the sample jar, and it is empty. The seal hasn't even been broken. The doctor inquires of the husband what happened. He reminds him needs the sample from him to be able move forward after today. The husband sighs and speaks.
"Doc, I just... I just couldn't do it. I tried with my right hand, and it didn't work. So I tried with my left hand, and still nothing. I tried both hands next and I Still couldn't do it. So I asked my wife for help and she tried. First, she tried one hand, then the other, and even tried with both her hands. Nothing. Then she tried using her teeth too, and even that didn't work."
"Next we called the neighbor lady over, and she tried with her hands And her teeth at the same time, and still it didn't work. She even tried taking her teeth out and using her mouth that way, but still nothing would work."
"Doc, I'm sorry, but we just can't get the lid off this damn jar."
