My life

[Angelique]

Oh Chef honey! A flying fuck you say? With Lambert?? Would you mind showing me pics of that sweetheart? I think all the folks here at Lit would like to see you erase those birthmarks off her cute lil cheeks.

As for your own blend of sticky stuff...well, I'd need to know how nutritious it is...then I'll decide if you can share it w/me.

No manual labor Siren? Not even for me??? *pout* I guess Chef will have to do it all by himself. You up for it Chef baby?

 

[Thumper]

twitch

How about I contemplate just a little below the navel babe...and you too Rosie...I may be able to "handle" you both!!

La-AAAAAAAAAAAAm-bert!!! Go boom.

 

[Svedish_Chef]

Always up for it! (No Xander I promise) And it is very nutritious I promise.... wont make you fat cept for nine months


You already have a pic of Lambert but I dont know about that other stuff. And no I am not going to wear the birthmark off... it is on her face! Strange thing though... rubbergloves werent provided with her.


Mutton chop indeed... porky!

Da chef

 

[Angelique]

So, what you're saying Chef, is that you wouldn't wear the birthmarks off her face 'cause you're not into oral sex, right?

 

[Svedish_Chef]

No babe into oral just that she doesnt suck... and she has no holes on that end!

 

[Angelique]

*handing Chef a pair of scissors* There ya' go honey...now you can create a hole big enough (or small enough, however the case may be).

Don't worry hon...a lil minor surgery on her oral cavity won't hurt her a bit...and Rosie has the duct tape so we can patch her up good as new when you're done.

 

[Svedish_Chef]

Small! not chicken likely my dear

As for the surgery well she dont take to kindly to letting her air out and I just dont like the way that she would scream... see I am an animal lover!

Da chef

 

[Angelique]

OMFG!!!!! CHEF!!!!!! I had no idea you were the animal lover that started the beasty thread on the other board! WOW!

Now, lemme take a moment to rethink this whole thing here...I'm the best friend of a man who owns a blow up sheep named Lambert, who LOVES animals, and has offered me sticky stuff...what's wrong w/this picture?

I think I'll stick w/the love of my life, Xander...he likes animals, but not like THAT, Chef, honey.

 

[Siren]

PETA TO THE RESCUE

 

[Guest]

What happened to me

No one answered me, why not?

 

[Never]

'I am on drugs.'
Not enough information there.

'I like blow up sheep'
You can't blow a sheep, if you're blowing it, it's a ram.

'my best friend is an angel.'
Well, she's a saint to put up with you.

'I am going have way round the world to meet people I hate.'
You can whine, bitch and moan but you're stilling going to that family reunion.

'I think I am a lesbian but I am male.'
See number two for reference. If you're lesbian, by definition, you aren't male and visa versa. Go up to your father tonight and ask him to give you 'the talk' after that we'll talk.

 

[Thumper]

Huh

I though a Ram was a dodge pickup....

 

[Svedish_Chef]

Re: PETA TO THE RESCUE

Chefie....
<Calling People for the ethical treatment of animals-PETA> spelled it out in case you Aussies dont know what PETA is, after all...you are down under....

Let me ask you Chefie....if everything is reversed down there like your water going counterclockwise...does that mean you fuck your sheep in the mouth and not the ass?
just asking....

SIREN
______________________________
I AM A GURU SO RESPECT ME DAMN IT

Respect is earned.... so Earn it!

No we are not that backwards but talk to our sheepish friends over in New Zealand. So where do you go at them, Siren. We have the RSPCA here... but if the sheep say that they like what is being done, we are left in peace.

Does that answer it?

Da chef

 

[Never]

And I thought an orgasm was the little death.
What a strange world we live in when you can blow a truck and sex can kill your mind.

 

[Angelique]

Well hot damn! How cool is this...Never turned me into a saint! If I ever get to 1000 posts, I'll have to make sure I credit Never with my title. Thanks hon! Oh, but it's not a family reunion, darlin'...it's our wedding!

Chef babe, no need to get defensive honey...just smile & take one of Siren's lil pink happy pills, ok dear?

Ummm...Thumper sweetie, if I asked someone to ram me and they came after me with a pickup truck, I'd be really really worried! Try one of the OTHER definitions hon...you gotta get w/the program before the wedding dear, or you're not gonna catch all the inuendo's.

 

[Svedish_Chef]

Pink pills.... they are for girlies ooh they are sirens... did they come from an oyster?

Oh, but it's not a family reunion, darlin'...it's our wedding! So you are marrying me... oh no it is Xander the man with the fleet feet!

Angelique, imagine being rammed by a ram, you could couldnt ewe?

A joke in bad taste is always worth another...

Da chef

 

[Siren]

I know what you have earned Chef

 

[Angelique]

Oh, but it's not a family reunion, darlin'...it's our wedding! So you are marrying me... oh no it is Xander the man with the fleet feet!

Angelique, imagine being rammed by a ram, you could couldnt ewe?

A joke in bad taste is always worth another...

Da chef

LMAO@ewe, Chef!

Sorry to bust your bubble sweetie, but yes, it's Xander that I'm marrying. But, remember, you get to dress up for my bachelorette party!

Oh, and yes, I can imagine being rammed by a ram...it ain't Xanders feet that work magic...it's that potent pelvis of his. *wicked grin*

 

[Guest]

Never... have I been so badly treated try to ask a sincere question. And I can be a lesbian cant I... I mean I love women?

 

[Never]

Nahhh, no one is treated badly on these board. They're just teased a little.
Hmmm, hey, it's not like I have to keys to the Hall of Lesbianishness. Go ahead and be a dyke of you want, it's not like I can stop you.

 

[Siren]

Never really really experienced eh? how come?

 

[Xander]

*walking in sleepy and yawning*

Uh??? My potent pelvis what???????
What did I miss??? What's going on????
Where do I "fit" into all this

 

[Never]

It's true, I never really, really experienced anything.. not yet at least. Hmmm, I'll show you mine if you show me yours, (keys that is).

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
*Knows Endlessly is still miffed about not getting any Tupperware*

 

[Siren]

Never Let me see Never Let me see..um I should rephrase that perhaps

 

[Never]

*little blush*
Here.. this should help you think happy thoughts..
http://smilecwm.tripod.com/splarka/as-shake.gif
*wiggle.. wiggle..wiggles that sexy thang*


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I think she already has one.