My third chapter seems rather less popular but I haven’t had any comments as to why—does anyone have suggestions on where I may have gone wrong?

[BaileyEsquire]

The third chapter of Hannah gets an Agent, while having two lovely comments (all comments on my stories, positive or negative, are lovely!) and a decent amount of views, is definitely a stark drop off over the other two chapters. in ratings, comments, favorites, and views Of course, sequels have some expected decline, but this seems more stark than natural attrition. If anyone has read the third chapter, I would be very grateful for suggestions on what I might do to get the story back to whatever people liked about the first two chapters and I failed to provide in the third.

I should note that the third chapter has a content warning at the start (for mention of, though certainly no depiction of, self-harm) and that may have explained some of the drop in views, which is fine (I wouldn’t want anyone to keep reading if the story will cause them upset). However, I don’t think that’s the whole reason and I wonder if something in the writing or plot is putting readers off compared to the first two chapters. None of the three chapters has any sex and all three have lots of nudity so I don’t think it’s a titillation issue either. The third chapter also starts with a very unpleasant and humiliating episode and our heroine endures some torments than anything in the previous two chapters (psychologically, not physically) , but I doubt that’s the thing putting off readers in the B.D.S.M. category! So my assumption is it’s something in my writing and that I’d like to improve!

 

[StillStunned]

Without having time to actually read your stories, here are a few thoughts.

The third chapter of Hannah gets an Agent, while having two lovely comments (all comments on my stories, positive or negative, are lovely!)

There seems to be an issue with comments at the moment, so that could be a factor.

and a decent amount of views, is definitely a stark drop off over the other two chapters. in ratings, comments, favorites, and views Of course, sequels have some expected decline, but this seems more stark than natural attrition.

Not really. I know the data on your author's page aren't up-to-date, but you can usually expect a 50% drop-off from chapter 1 to chapter 2, which you seem to have sidestepped. It just came later, with chapter 3.

I should note that the third chapter has a content warning at the start (for mention of, though certainly no depiction of, self-harm) and that may have explained some of the drop in views, which is fine (I wouldn’t want anyone to keep reading if the story will cause them upset).

People don't see the content warning until they click on the story, so their views would still count. Instead, I think that one problem is that you've used almost identical taglines for each of your three chapters. There's nothing there to entice the readers back for the third chapter.

However, I don’t think that’s the whole reason and I wonder if something in the writing or plot is putting readers off compared to the first two chapters. None of the three chapters has any sex and all three have lots of nudity so I don’t think it’s a titillation issue either.

Quite possibly your readers went through two chapters without there being any sex, and decided not to come back for the third. It's an erotica site, after all, and while plenty of readers are fine with more subtle stories, the sex is the main reason for people to visit. That said, I know nothing about the BDSM category or its readers, so you might find a more useful answer from someone else.

Whatever the case, don't give up! You're still getting thousands of eyes on your stories, and even if chapter 3 doesn't have a red H yet, it's still a fine score.

 

[lovecraft68]

The third chapter of Hannah gets an Agent, while having two lovely comments (all comments on my stories, positive or negative, are lovely!) and a decent amount of views, is definitely a stark drop off over the other two chapters. in ratings, comments, favorites, and views Of course, sequels have some expected decline, but this seems more stark than natural attrition. If anyone has read the third chapter, I would be very grateful for suggestions on what I might do to get the story back to whatever people liked about the first two chapters and I failed to provide in the third.

I should note that the third chapter has a content warning at the start (for mention of, though certainly no depiction of, self-harm) and that may have explained some of the drop in views, which is fine (I wouldn’t want anyone to keep reading if the story will cause them upset). However, I don’t think that’s the whole reason and I wonder if something in the writing or plot is putting readers off compared to the first two chapters. None of the three chapters has any sex and all three have lots of nudity so I don’t think it’s a titillation issue either. The third chapter also starts with a very unpleasant and humiliating episode and our heroine endures some torments than anything in the previous two chapters (psychologically, not physically) , but I doubt that’s the thing putting off readers in the B.D.S.M. category! So my assumption is it’s something in my writing and that I’d like to improve!

As a series progresses the numbers tend to drop off as not everyone who reads the first chapter stays with it so will see less views/votes/comments.

However, the reward is the score generally rises because you have a dedicated fan base that likes the series and less casual readers who might drop an unfavorable vote.

I did notice the score of Ch 3 is lower which bucks the trend somewhat. My first thought would be you may have had something happen to the character that didn't sit well, or the character did something people didn't care for. Maybe the story is getting repetitious? Or, it could just be a slow start and some folks who saw it on the new list weren't kind to it and as the days move on it will climb.

One suggestion I would make is that you use the same tag line for each chapter. That looks kind of lazy and doesn't tell readers what the installment will focus on. I'd mix it up.

 

[THBGato]

Do you have an ending in mind? Do you know where this story is going?

I am a voracious reader. I'm quite happy to work through a long-series BUT if I get the sense that a story isn't really going anywhere, that it will just be a string of encounters and sexy-scenarios, but with no character development or emotional resonance, then I disengage.

I haven't read yours, so maybe this doesn't apply, but if readers are getting the sense that there is no narrative arc then that might be an issue.

 

[Gamblnluck]

Seeing this thread, I decided to go and read. I could tell your desire was to show all the 'experts' developing the girls to be creators were pompous assholes, but you started going off the range when it went on and on in each paragraph. The acting part drug out and I found myself skipping large sections. One, three chapters in and you still have not actually defined what a creator is. Or why that term is used for what appears to be cam sex workers.
Then you have the esbee but only in chapter 3 did you say it was sugar baby. In other words your story is getting lost in the visual or at least the conversations of the pompous self important schmucks who are working these girls.
I may read one more chapter in this vein but not more. You have not even made further mention why the sex cam industry is so big that what sounds like any college aspirant would have to do. Hannah's mother was firmly on board with her daughter doing it. Supposedly court judges did it. Basically is you need to 'do some 'splaining'

 

[SmokingFap]

The third chapter of Hannah gets an Agent, while having two lovely comments (all comments on my stories, positive or negative, are lovely!) and a decent amount of views, is definitely a stark drop off over the other two chapters. in ratings, comments, favorites, and views Of course, sequels have some expected decline, but this seems more stark than natural attrition. If anyone has read the third chapter, I would be very grateful for suggestions on what I might do to get the story back to whatever people liked about the first two chapters and I failed to provide in the third.

I should note that the third chapter has a content warning at the start (for mention of, though certainly no depiction of, self-harm) and that may have explained some of the drop in views, which is fine (I wouldn’t want anyone to keep reading if the story will cause them upset). However, I don’t think that’s the whole reason and I wonder if something in the writing or plot is putting readers off compared to the first two chapters. None of the three chapters has any sex and all three have lots of nudity so I don’t think it’s a titillation issue either. The third chapter also starts with a very unpleasant and humiliating episode and our heroine endures some torments than anything in the previous two chapters (psychologically, not physically) , but I doubt that’s the thing putting off readers in the B.D.S.M. category! So my assumption is it’s something in my writing and that I’d like to improve!

Having not read any of the stories, I would say that it's likely that folks are just getting a little tired of the concept. Not that it's a bad concept at all, I have no idea what your stories are about. But even if you love steak and lobster, having it three days in a row can start making it unappetizing. I'm just saying don't get discouraged by lower ratings or fewer comments within the same series over time.

 

[ElectricBlue]

None of the three chapters has any sex and all three have lots of nudity so I don’t think it’s a titillation issue either. The third chapter also starts with a very unpleasant and humiliating episode and our heroine endures some torments than anything in the previous two chapters (psychologically, not physically) , but I doubt that’s the thing putting off readers in the B.D.S.M. category! So my assumption is it’s something in my writing and that I’d like to improve!

I think you've answered your own question. It sounds like the story is not delivering.

 

[BaileyEsquire]

Do you have an ending in mind? Do you know where this story is going?

I am a voracious reader. I'm quite happy to work through a long-series BUT if I get the sense that a story isn't really going anywhere, that it will just be a string of encounters and sexy-scenarios, but with no character development or emotional resonance, then I disengage.

I haven't read yours, so maybe this doesn't apply, but if readers are getting the sense that there is no narrative arc then that might be an issue.

Yes! The next chapter is the end of part one and then there will be two more parts set at dates late on in her life. The destination is set, although I admit I am winging along some of the journey. Not to spoil anything, but essentially Hannah is going to have the psychological torment of getting absolutely everything she ever wanted in life but also being so broken and transformed by the system that there’s a bitter taste to it all. That might turn off some readers if it gets too bleak, so I’m trying to balance it all with a bit of satire and humor.

 

[BaileyEsquire]

I think you've answered your own question. It sounds like the story is not delivering.

I mean some of my favorite stories in the approximate genre of legal slavery or humiliation or otherwise degraded women dont have sex and are rightly quite popular because the psychological journey of the woman into being a sex object is so interesting. For instance, the excellent Gentleman Mariner or Joe Doe stories on here. So my view was the lack of explicit sex so far (even if there’s been nudity and masturbation and groping) isn’t the content failure, since very successful stories have that formula. But that means my own failure is something else.

 

[BaileyEsquire]

Having not read any of the stories, I would say that it's likely that folks are just getting a little tired of the concept. Not that it's a bad concept at all, I have no idea what your stories are about. But even if you love steak and lobster, having it three days in a row can start making it unappetizing. I'm just saying don't get discouraged by lower ratings or fewer comments within the same series over time.

That makes sense (and I think I have to have the discipline to put in variety rather than hit the same menu over and over).

 

[BaileyEsquire]

Seeing this thread, I decided to go and read. I could tell your desire was to show all the 'experts' developing the girls to be creators were pompous assholes, but you started going off the range when it went on and on in each paragraph. The acting part drug out and I found myself skipping large sections. One, three chapters in and you still have not actually defined what a creator is. Or why that term is used for what appears to be cam sex workers.
Then you have the esbee but only in chapter 3 did you say it was sugar baby. In other words your story is getting lost in the visual or at least the conversations of the pompous self important schmucks who are working these girls.
I may read one more chapter in this vein but not more. You have not even made further mention why the sex cam industry is so big that what sounds like any college aspirant would have to do. Hannah's mother was firmly on board with her daughter doing it. Supposedly court judges did it. Basically is you need to 'do some 'splaining'

To be fair, isn’t creator used for cam sex workers today? I didn’t invent it (or I’m fairly sure I didn’t, as I have firm memories of reading it in articles about OnlyFans and similar things platforms).

But point taken on the more general point. My base assumption was that this is a world where the growing social acceptance of an onlyfans side hustle has grown to a point that porn is completely normalized and just a part of the culture. I can see why that’s something I need to explain more clearly to the reader: thank you!

 

[BaileyEsquire]

As a series progresses the numbers tend to drop off as not everyone who reads the first chapter stays with it so will see less views/votes/comments.

However, the reward is the score generally rises because you have a dedicated fan base that likes the series and less casual readers who might drop an unfavorable vote.

I did notice the score of Ch 3 is lower which bucks the trend somewhat. My first thought would be you may have had something happen to the character that didn't sit well, or the character did something people didn't care for. Maybe the story is getting repetitious? Or, it could just be a slow start and some folks who saw it on the new list weren't kind to it and as the days move on it will climb.

One suggestion I would make is that you use the same tag line for each chapter. That looks kind of lazy and doesn't tell readers what the installment will focus on. I'd mix it up.

Thank you for the technical advice and the points on the taglines!

 

[ElectricBlue]

But that means my own failure is something else.

You're assuming it's something you've done or not done, whereas views dropping over a time is a natural phenomenon here on Lit. I wouldn't try to second guess "what readers want" in a story - that's a fool's errand.

 

[Gamblnluck]

But point taken on the more general point. My base assumption was that this is a world where the growing social acceptance of an onlyfans side hustle has grown to a point that porn is completely normalized and just a part of the culture. I can see why that’s something I need to explain more clearly to the reader: thank you!

Anytime you create a world/society where something that is unacceptable becomes the norm, you have to work to create that world. You can't just assume the reader is following along. You mentioned the Joe Doe slave stories. I personally found them unreasonable (even if you could call slavery reasonable). Society and human nature would never accept it the way written.
Instead, I created a world where judicial slavery was common and presented it more as an ongoing saga. You may or may not have seen my Slave Camp which sets it up. My Mother Owns Me is a side story. And I have Gotta Pay the Piper that continues. I have slavery regulated by government, which includes oversight. Anyway, the societal rules are explained as you go through the story.

 

[BaileyEsquire]

Anytime you create a world/society where something that is unacceptable becomes the norm, you have to work to create that world. You can't just assume the reader is following along. You mentioned the Joe Doe slave stories. I personally found them unreasonable (even if you could call slavery reasonable). Society and human nature would never accept it the way written.
Instead, I created a world where judicial slavery was common and presented it more as an ongoing saga. You may or may not have seen my Slave Camp which sets it up. My Mother Owns Me is a side story. And I have Gotta Pay the Piper that continues. I have slavery regulated by government, which includes oversight. Anyway, the societal rules are explained as you go through the story.

I’m chagrined to say I didn’t put your forum name together with your stories: I love your slave camp stories! My story tries to be relatively conservative with the world changes (no slavery albeit prisons are far far crueller than currently, women enjoy the same political and civil rights as now, the only legal sex is consensual, etc) but just that the sex work industry (encompassing both onlyfans/porn and prostitution) has been completely normalized (which I think is the trend we’re on) and the rest of (American) society has moved to integrate it into culture and life. I think because it’s so close to our current society, I have to watch carefully over the bits that are different and make sure the rules don't get away.

 

[Gamblnluck]

I think because it’s so close to our current society, I have to watch carefully over the bits that are different and make sure the rules don't get away.

Yeah, just explain as you go WHY things are different. Fit it in with a plot. And make sure there is a little plot in the story among all the self important posturing that you describe.

 

[Audiflex]

The third chapter of Hannah gets an Agent, while having two lovely comments (all comments on my stories, positive or negative, are lovely!) and a decent amount of views, is definitely a stark drop off over the other two chapters. in ratings, comments, favorites, and views Of course, sequels have some expected decline, but this seems more stark than natural attrition. If anyone has read the third chapter, I would be very grateful for suggestions on what I might do to get the story back to whatever people liked about the first two chapters and I failed to provide in the third.

I should note that the third chapter has a content warning at the start (for mention of, though certainly no depiction of, self-harm) and that may have explained some of the drop in views, which is fine (I wouldn’t want anyone to keep reading if the story will cause them upset). However, I don’t think that’s the whole reason and I wonder if something in the writing or plot is putting readers off compared to the first two chapters. None of the three chapters has any sex and all three have lots of nudity so I don’t think it’s a titillation issue either. The third chapter also starts with a very unpleasant and humiliating episode and our heroine endures some torments than anything in the previous two chapters (psychologically, not physically) , but I doubt that’s the thing putting off readers in the B.D.S.M. category! So my assumption is it’s something in my writing and that I’d like to improve!

It’s great that you’re reflecting on the feedback and trying to understand the drop-off! The content warning might have played a role, but it’s also possible the tone or pacing shifted in a way that didn’t resonate as much with readers. Maybe the heavier psychological elements, while fitting for the BDSM category, felt less balanced with the earlier chapters’ vibe? It could also be worth checking if the character’s arc or the story’s direction feels consistent. Either way, kudos for seeking feedback, it shows you care about your readers’ experience! Keep tweaking, and I’m sure you’ll find the right balance.

 

[flatiron2]

I find that whenever I post the first chapter of a new story, it gets a lot of clicks (by my standards, at least!). Chapters 2 and 3 generally attract quite a few readers too, though never as much as the first chapter. By the time I publish chapter 4, readership numbers have generally stabilised at around 1/3rd of the number of people who read chapter 1. I reckon it's because people are more excited about something new than watching characters develop. It's a shame, because apart from writing sex scenes, it's the characters I most love writing about.

 

[darkride]

I'm working on chapter 15 of my longest series, and it still surprises me how the viewing numbers fluctuate across chapters. There's certainly a marked stepping down at certain points... and yet there's also some chapters that do better than the previous. Just depends what people find, when. Whilst some of your readers will be followers and/or members, many of them will be unregistered, just coming in to find something to - enjoy in the moment. They may never come back for the next chapter.

 

[flatiron2]

I'm working on chapter 15 of my longest series, and it still surprises me how the viewing numbers fluctuate across chapters. There's certainly a marked stepping down at certain points... and yet there's also some chapters that do better than the previous. Just depends what people find, when. Whilst some of your readers will be followers and/or members, many of them will be unregistered, just coming in to find something to - enjoy in the moment. They may never come back for the next chapter.

Yeah so the other thing I've found is if your chapter gets published in a category where there's a rush of other uploads appearing in that same category at the same time, you spend less time in the 'new stories' showcase for that category. I'm feeling this right now with the most recent chapter I've dropped in the transgender category. There must've been a rush of other stories which pushed mine away, but that's OK.