My week should be a plot for a book.

[Qky75]

I got to bed about 430a last Friday. Why? I found out there's been a woman living in my son's bed room for 2 weeks.

TWO WEEKS !!!

There's omg so much going on there in that story and I haven't even unpacked or processed her story, or my feelings on the subject or what I'm going to do about it all.

Honestly I'm not even sure where to begin nor do I have the details yet for the bigger picture. At one level I'm creeped the fuck out having been living with a stranger for 2 weeks unknowingly, or how many times last week I've just been roaming around the house nude because "nobody was here"

Or wtf that girl ate during the couple days he left town to work

I found it out just as I was about to take my buzzed ass to bed. Far not sharp enough to make any heavy decisions. I got the gist of the "story". I know that she's 7 months clean...that her grandparents kicked her out for a relapse or a perceived one.... apparently her buddy came over high and they had enough bullshit. That was in June. To which the reason my son well meaning but dick driven naivitae rescued her after they've been online dating 4 months....stupid big hearted hormone kid.....

I'm sure she's a sweet girl....very introverted and I am sure feeling very sheepish confronting parents who you've been shacked up hiding in their home would be.

I've heard her family knows she's here ...not a felon.... incapable of having children.... and was agreeable to my two immediate terms....get a job immediately and agree to start meetings and find a sponsor. All of which now I will need to confirm and follow up on

I think I am also very old fashioned and hypocritical. If the situation was reversed and this was my daughter I'd have threatened him with bodily harm and legal actions and thrown his ass out in the rain.

I've decided to give her exactly 1 week to have a job and checked into addiction meetings. Conditions not met? I can kick her out with clean conscience and the boy can go with her. I've stipulated if she relapses, she goes immediately. I inwardly know that I'll very likely have extra room in my home within the week. I'm more than fine with that.

I'm actually looking forward to going back to work so I can get some rest.

 

[mark_j]

Looks like Murphy had fun with you... I wish you luck Sir...

 

[barefootgirl69]

You need to check your state's laws on squatters rights. In some states, if they are there a certain amount of days and have a change of clothing, they could tell you NO, I'M NOT LEAVING and you would legally have to evict her.

Go online to your state's dotGOV page or Google.

 

[Qky75]

I did it. They're both leaving. I didn't yell when he called and he kept his cool. I had dinner with my daughter which makes everything better.

In talking with the grandmother, I discovered the inability to reproduce was an exaggeration. She has PCOS which does make it difficult to conceive but all that translates to me is yet one additional reason to suggest a young uninsured couple should be wary of unprotected activities. There are serious mental health issues that cannot be forced to treat. As expected the conditions were not met or even attempted; making it was easier for me to enforce the deadline.

There is a chasm Between Adult and adult parent. I can now only watch from afar and hope for the best. The situation is far beyond my scope of usefulness.

 

[Rob_Royale]

I think you handled it as well as possible. Best of luck.

 

[Qky75]

Update 4 months in.



The man child is learning very difficult lessons; lessons I did my level best to help him avoid. He lost his dream job because he spent his money on her instead of moving to Nashville with the rest of the (now successful) band. The cool car died on the side of the road. The benevolence of the cool friends who put the couple up has run out.

BUT

AS difficult as it is to see my child struggle, despite his poor choices, I cannot help but feel a tinge of pride in his efforts to rebuild. He started over at the bottom as a grunt mechanic at a shop willing to take a chance on him. He walks the odd mile to and from every day to work and appears to be loving his new job. He's managed to find a place for the two of them and has a realistic plan to get transportation. The biggest change is seeing humility replace the arrogance.

He made a choice. His dream has shifted. He is working so hard to make it work. Is this not what anyone could ask out of an adult? I don't have to agree with his choices to be proud of his tenacity.

 

[MischiefMakerAlways]

I'm taking notes. I foresee issues on the horizon, partially based in history, with my eldest - a senior in high school. Not sure how parenting him as an adult is going to look, but I know it won't be smooth.

Good on your boy, and good on you, all around!