My Wife

[deezire1900]

Im going to add my two cents here, I just don't understand some men. They never seem to be happy with what they have, you got a wife, that does not seem to be good enough. My best friend was married for ten years and he wanted his wife to do a threesome with someone else and they did, and it continued for a few months, but it broke their marriage apart. Inviting someone else into your bedroom only seems to cause problems. You might say oh we both wanted it, well ...I think its sad in todays society where marriage and being with one partner is no longer sacred.

Amen.

 

[bi golly]

Im going to add my two cents here, I just don't understand some men. ...I think its sad in todays society where marriage and being with one partner is no longer sacred.

I would add that I don't understand some women. I was married for ten years with two small children and my ex-wife started screwing around. I wanted her to get counselling and find out why she had wrecked another marriage but she wouldn't.

Sociopathic and narcissistic behaviour happens in both genders.

I was thinking about this and I'm glad I'm not married to her any more. I wish my kids didn't have to grow up in a divorced family. But she was going to dump me at some point, of that I am certain. This way, it is done.

And if you wonder about me and how I look, I'm not an ogre. I have women flirting with me all the time.

 

[Stefani]

I lived with a black man for 5 years. One night while we were out at a club a very handsome man was flirting with me. My boyfriend said, "Let's take him home with us. I want to watch you with him."

I told him right from the get-go that it would be a mistake. I knew the way my boyfriend was - he was pretty possessive. But ultimately we took the guy with us.

I went into the bathroom and put on some sexy lingerie. Then I got into bed with this guy, Rudy. He said he was a college athlete and was extremely muscular. Not bad looking at all, and well hung (but no where near as hung as my boyfriend).

When I got into bed with Rudy my boyfriend Kevin went into the bathroom. When he came out and saw us cuddling and smooching, Kevin flipped out. He started screaming at me that I was a whore and for both of us to "Get the f- out!"

Funny thing is, like I said, it was HIS idea. He thought it would be hot. But once he saw me in another man's arms, he went beserk.

Not saying this is going to happen to you, especially since you seem to have fantasized about this alot... but you never really know how you're going to react until it happens to you.

Steffie

 

[Soulfiregirl]

For years I've had an insatiable desire for my wife to sleep with another man. I want her to cum like she never has, and to do it again and again. To pine for his arms and his cock...to need him inside her...and then to go to him in the middle of the afternoon only to tell me afterward.

I don't quite understand this fantasy. You only want to "hear" about it afterwards? You don't want to "watch" or "participate" in any way? I think you'll risk feeling empty inside if you and your wife do go through with this. And she might regret it by feeling guilt or shame if she's not absolutely into this 100 percent. If she has any doubts at all, they will catch up with her eventually even if she seems "willing" now.

And then there's you. Only one of you sleeps with someone else? Sorry, I'm just a bit confused because don't most couples who like to swing only do it so that both of them can enjoy other partners? I'm pretty open minded when it comes to other people's sexual desires but one thing I do know, is if one partner is not really comfortable exploring the other partner's fantasy, it's going to backfire if they go through with it. If your wife feels "obligated" in any way to do this for you, it could reeeeeally backfire badly.

I suggest you do a lot more research on the emotional consequences this could have. You may think you can handle it, but reality versus fantasy are two completely different things. Have fun and all but don't risk ending your marriage over a fantasy that may not work out that well. Peace, yo.

 

[jdmct]

swinging

I agree with Soulfiregirl.
Everybody goes or nobody goes.

James

 

[Mike260]

Steffani and Soulfiregirl (and jdmct):

Thank you for your insightful comments.

Something that I haven't said yet, but it is time that I did, is that I don't think my wife sleeping with another man would jeopordize our marraige. We've been married for 17 years, and together for almost 20. During that time, far rougher things have come our way, and none have come close to splitting us up. The cement of our relationship is firmly and deeply set.

That doesn't mean, however, that this couldn't be asking for trouble. Steffani, in the few times that I actually thought my wife might be with someone else, my emotional response was decidedly mixed. I was very turned on, but also terrified. No, I don't know how I'll feel if this comes about. But I think that uncertainty is part of the masochistic eroticism I crave.

Soulfiregirl, I'm always perplexed when people here say they can't understand what turns me on about my wife sleeping with other men. Believe me, there's a legion of things on this site that I, personally, find about as erotic as shoveling snow. If Literotica tells us anything, it's that erotic is definitely in the eye of the beholder.

Nonetheless, your point that a partner should not feel "obligated" to do something they don't want to do is very powerful. I've shared this fantasy with my wife for over a decade. If she has felt obliged, she certainly hasn't acted on it. Conversely, up until now, she has been pretty careful not to put herself in situations where it could happen. I've often wondered whether it was her fidelity that made this fantasy safe enough to indulge.

 

[SweetSurrendered1]

Steffani and Soulfiregirl (and jdmct):

Thank you for your insightful comments.

Something that I haven't said yet, but it is time that I did, is that I don't think my wife sleeping with another man would jeopordize our marraige. We've been married for 17 years, and together for almost 20. During that time, far rougher things have come our way, and none have come close to splitting us up. The cement of our relationship is firmly and deeply set.

That doesn't mean, however, that this couldn't be asking for trouble. Steffani, in the few times that I actually thought my wife might be with someone else, my emotional response was decidedly mixed. I was very turned on, but also terrified. No, I don't know how I'll feel if this comes about. But I think that uncertainty is part of the masochistic eroticism I crave.

Soulfiregirl, I'm always perplexed when people here say they can't understand what turns me on about my wife sleeping with other men. Believe me, there's a legion of things on this site that I, personally, find about as erotic as shoveling snow. If Literotica tells us anything, it's that erotic is definitely in the eye of the beholder.

Nonetheless, your point that a partner should not feel "obligated" to do something they don't want to do is very powerful. I've shared this fantasy with my wife for over a decade. If she has felt obliged, she certainly hasn't acted on it. Conversely, up until now, she has been pretty careful not to put herself in situations where it could happen. I've often wondered whether it was her fidelity that made this fantasy safe enough to indulge.

I would say the fact that you trust your wife is the ONLY reason you feel safe enough to indulge in the fantasy. Trust is, in any relationship, even just friendship, the absolutely most important thing that holds two people together.

I certainly hope you would have enough self control to realize, should you find yourself in the position and end up getting jealous, that the only reason your wife is with this man is because you asked her to be. If that were to be the case, then I'm sure it would take a little time to forget about it, but it wouldn't necessarily mean the end to your relationship, IMO. But Steffani does bring up a good point. You do need to consider, and talk it over with your wife, what will happen if you should end up jealous or she should end up feeling guilty. How will you deal with it? It sounds to me like you love each other enough and are committed to each other enough to take the time to be there for each other, whatever it takes. Still good advice to talk about the possibilities ahead of time.

Somebody, I think it was Soulfire, said something about the husband not participating. I have a couple of responses to that. First, just because the men aren't bi doesn't mean both can't participate with the woman, so nobody needs to be left out unless that's what he wants to do. Second, if the person who won't be sleeping with anyone else is the one who initiates the senario, then I'm not sure why that means it will cause a problem. Again, I can tell you from my own experience that it does work for some people. My husband is a voyeur; he likes to watch and he loves to see me get excited. And, while I can say I've enjoyed what we've done simply because it was great sex, I can also say that the best part about it for me was knowing how excited it made him. I can look at him and see it in his eyes and it makes me enjoy it even more and helps me past the awkwardness that I usually feel at first. But if he told me he didn't want to do this anymore, I'd simply say okay, tell him I love him, and give him a big hug and kiss. I'd never regret it, or miss it, for a second.

On the other hand, if I had talked him into letting me be with another man but said I didn't want him to be with another woman, that, of course, would cause problems. I'm thinking that maybe this is the type of lopsided relationship you were picturing, but that really isn't what's happening here. I just wanted to point that out.

And I agree with Mike about one other thing. There are many things that people on Lit, and other places, say they enjoy that not only don't appeal to me, but sometimes, in extreme cases, can even turn my stomach. However, I totally respect every person's choice to do what works best for them and would never judge anyone based on those choices (as long as it wasn't harming anyone). I just ask for the same in return.

 

[TwoInStAuggie]

So, has anybody ever done this, or have any thoughts on it?

Yeah, actually. She's done it on two occasions. Once with a guy she met on business. He came into town for a few nights and they hooked up twice in his hotel room. Nice guy. Polite, respectful. They had a little thing for each other. I'm used to guys having things for my wife. She's that kind of girl. It doesn't really bother me that my wife would be attracted to other men. I'm attracted to other women. It's only reasonable. Anyway, she fucked him a few times over those couple of days. I didn't press her for a lot of details about it. That was her private time. She doesn't ask me a whole lot of questions when I do the same. We respect each other's space like that.

She fucked the second guy who was part of a couple we've been hanging out with for a while. Same sort of set-up. She went over to his place while his wife, completely accepting of this situation, was out of town and she spent the night with him. It's not really a big deal. In fact, it's really liberating and encouraging to give each other such sexual freedom. With that freedom comes a certain responsibility, of course, but we've always been very respectful with each other about it.

 

[Mike260]

Sweetsurrender. I gotta start by saying something about that new avatar. Sweet Jesus.

Your husband and I seem to have similar proclivities. I, too, am a voyeur. There is no one I would rather watch (or hear about), by a huge margin, than my wife.

And I do understand that this is my leaning, not hers. But, boy, does it turn me on. I still get off remembering the phone sex we had years ago, or thinking about the time a co-worker ran his fingers through her hair in the early 90's.


TwoinAugusitine. You are a laid back southern guy if I ever met one. We should sit on the porch and cool off with margarita's sometime.