Need A British Hand!

[Vermilion]

oh, it is!

rolling up the waistband of your pleated skirt, slipping outta the sensible shoes and into the heels at lunch time. . ? *gulp*

the skirts weren't pleated, but we certainly rolled the waistbands up

And I don;t think anyone except the 11 year olds in the lowest form actually wore sensible shoes <grin>

and why does everyone always think I'm posh? It's not like I lived in Chelsea and went to Cheltenham Ladies' College. <scoffs>

x
V

 

[geronimo_appleby]

the skirts weren't pleated, but we certainly rolled the waistbands up

And I don;t think anyone except the 11 year olds in the lowest form actually wore sensible shoes <grin>

and why does everyone always think I'm posh? It's not like I lived in Chelsea and went to Cheltenham Ladies' College. <scoffs>

x
V

only messin'. spent a bit of time in surrey meself. i know that farncombe, near godalming, certainly ain't posh!

 

[elfin_odalisque]

Hey Selena. I was brought up in Surrey and have read the first installments of your Naughty Bits stories. I have been itching to get my hands on it since then, so if you need any more help... hand it over and I will correct many teeny tiny little problems that not many but a nice Surrey girl would notice...

x
V

Just curious Ver, how would you know what a nice girl would notice?

 

[Jenny_Jackson]

How about a nice round of snogging instead, SK

 

[neonlyte]

and why does everyone always think I'm posh? It's not like I lived in Chelsea and went to Cheltenham Ladies' College. <scoffs>

x
V

... the red shoes are far too shiny

 

[Vermilion]

... the red shoes are far too shiny

that'd be a good trick... they're suede!



and to the rest of ya

x
V

 

[geronimo_appleby]

that'd be a good trick... they're suede!



and to the rest of ya

x
V

how can ya tell when V reaches a climax?

she drops her chips.

okay an adaptation from the Essex girl, but wtf.

 

[Vermilion]

how can ya tell when V reaches a climax?

she drops her chips.

okay an adaptation from the Essex girl, but wtf.

I don;t get it...


I prefer: Why do Essex girls wear knickers?

A: to keep their ankles warm

Q: why do Essex girls wear hooped earrings?

A: so they have somewhere to res their feet...


etc

 

[geronimo_appleby]

I don;t get it...


I prefer: Why do Essex girls wear knickers?

A: to keep their ankles warm

Q: why do Essex girls wear hooped earrings?

A: so they have somewhere to res their feet...


etc

*sigh*

posh birds. . .

 

[Selena_Kitt]

Where were all of you last year when I needed you!?!? LOL

Okay, I'm PMing the latest to the takers ... let's see how many people can come up with the same horrible American errors

I wouldn't have even tried writing a story set in the UK with UK characters, but the person who asked for the story (it was the first time I'd done a request story, too) specified... soo...

I did have someone from Northern England looking at it for a while, but he and I have lost touch... hence my need for a hand...

Your offered assistance is MUCH appreciated!

(And there will be 2 more chapter after this, so I'm sure I'll be reviving this thread... )

 

[geronimo_appleby]

Where were all of you last year when I needed you!?!? LOL

Okay, I'm PMing the latest to the takers ... let's see how many people can come up with the same horrible American errors

I wouldn't have even tried writing a story set in the UK with UK characters, but the person who asked for the story (it was the first time I'd done a request story, too) specified... soo...

I did have someone from Northern England looking at it for a while, but he and I have lost touch... hence my need for a hand...

Your offered assistance is MUCH appreciated!

(And there will be 2 more chapter after this, so I'm sure I'll be reviving this thread... )

i've come over all unnecessary!

erm, poor unnecessary. . .

 

[Stella_Omega]

I just had a look at your first chapter Selena and I must say I was quite taken aback at the mention of London/Surrey. I've only read the first few paragraphs (brouther/siuster doesn't do it for me) but the voice of even those first paragraphs is very American.

Benches are generally associated with parks not the underground. And they'd probably have said Piccadilly Tube or some such.

Loafing about or goofing off, not loafing off.

Construction companies are 'builders'

Ads are adverts.

That's the first six paras.

But it's not just those. There's something which I can't quite pin down that makes the sentence construction not English either. (but that could be just me being picky)

It's probably the lack of comma'd run-on sentences, I see them so often in stories and it's nearly always a UK writer, can anyone tell me why?

 

[Jenny_Jackson]

It's probably the lack of comma'd run-on sentences, I see them so often in stories and it's nearly always a UK writer, can anyone tell me why?

And long, convoluted sentences with two or more semi-colons. Those drive me nuts.

 

[Selena_Kitt]

It's probably the lack of comma'd run-on sentences, I see them so often in stories and it's nearly always a UK writer, can anyone tell me why?

Damn! I used to write like that, but an editor broke me of the habit! LOL

 

[Stella_Omega]

And long, convoluted sentences with two or more semi-colons. Those drive me nuts.

Come to think of it, it was a girl from Manchester that started me on the thousand-word-sentence game!

 

[elfin_odalisque]

And long, convoluted sentences with two or more semi-colons. Those drive me nuts.

And they always say Americans are uneddicated!

Try reading Martin Amis (he uses colons - can't they be irrigated?).

 

[Vermilion]

Maybe we're just trying to communicate more complex thoughts...?

OK Selena, I'm done. Gimme an e-mail address and I'll send it back. It's weird, you used most of the right words (although mostly Americanised spellings) but some of them just came off sounding *wrong*. There's no particular rhyme or reason to it, but it just didn't work.

Some basic reminders to Americans writing UK stylie:

It's sweets, not candy
It's biscuits, not cookies... usually.
it's loo, bog or toilet, sometimes even lav, but never bathroom
it's arse, not ass
it's garden, not yard
it's stones and lbs or kg and grammes, not just lbs
it's complicated, esoteric and very easy to get wrong
And NEVER EVER use the word 'bugger' - the American brain just can't seem to use it correctly

x
V

 

[matriarch]

Oh God.......not this stuff again.......the differences between English and American is an ongoing saga in the AH.

Don't forget:

Washing powder not laundry detergent.
Flannel not washcloth.
tap, not faucet
shopping trolley, not cart
baby buggy not stroller
mobile not cell phone
and all different carbonated drinks have names - they are not all 'soda'.


Americans should never say 'bugger', any more than we Brits should say 'dude' or ' y'all'.

 

[neonlyte]

It's probably the lack of comma'd run-on sentences, I see them so often in stories and it's nearly always a UK writer, can anyone tell me why?

Wot's wiv the bloody 'postrofy? Leave ow comma's alone!

 

[Stella_Omega]

Oh God.......not this stuff again.......the differences between English and American is an ongoing saga in the AH....

It's a saga all over the 'net, really. There are flame wars about it... I knew how sheerly young a particular group was, when a Yank posted a question about 'icing' versus 'frosting' and Brits fought about it for a week... calling each other horrible names in the process, and bringing up each others football clubs, and whatnot.

 

[neonlyte]

that'd be a good trick... they're suede!



x
V

Ahh... Surrey Country Girl... wears swedes on her feet

 

[Vermilion]

and all different carbonated drinks have names - they are not all 'soda'.


Americans should never say 'bugger', any more than we Brits should say 'dude' or ' y'all'.

Very true!

And the soda rule doesn;t apply, unless you're penning a working-class regional dialect character who might refer to 'pop' in much the same way...

Oh, and I forgot - trousers, not pants!


x
V

 

[Vermilion]

Ahh... Surrey Country Girl... wears swedes on her feet

<snigger>
nah, i'm from the 'burbs, babe!
x
V

 

[geronimo_appleby]

<snigger>
nah, i'm from the 'burbs, babe!
x
V

burbs? do we use that expression here, V?
you be a townie!

 

[neonlyte]

<Going way off topic>

I always had this thing about Surrey girls, they are like Hampshire girls - as long as you keep away from the coast. Winchester girls and Guildford girls always seemed groomed, elegant, refined to the point of snootiness; whereas Portsmouth girls, like Essex girls, and as V so elegantly phrased it, used their knickers to keep their ankles warm... metaphorically speaking. I amused myself for a long time when I lived in Winchester, had an architectural practice in Portsmouth and worked on a government project in Guildford, traveling regularly between the three cities, on the poise and demeanor of girls I encountered in each place deciding 'breeding' and 'money' was the key differential.

Then I came to Portugal... and discovered a whole new species of girls and women, elegant, graceful and impoverished. Even girls in the poorest village walked like catwalk models with straight backs, heads held high, proud. Sundays were an orgy for the eyes for an impressionable young man. Sunday best wear... for church... for the young men huddled outside the tavernas. Slim bodied, bronze limbed, elegant, body hugging crepe clad forms demurely migrating toward the sound of the church bells. I was driving. I stopped the car and watched mesmerized by the sheer beauty of women.

It blew my theory to smithereens... not because there wasn't 'breeding' or 'money'; it was a cultural difference, an eye opener. At that time, in Portugal, few people outside of the major cities had pipped water. Even if you had a well on your land, drinking water came from village springs. This water was collected in earthenware pots... pots carried on the head seated on a cloth ring wound from discarded garments - we still have a couple around, kind of heritage tokens. From a young age girls went with their mothers, or the house maid, to collect spring drinking water. The young girls had miniature earthenware pitchers and smaller cloth ring. Their elegance came from carrying water pitchers on their heads. Years of training, of deportment, of grace, of knowing how to move so that your hips swiveled rather than pitched.

Ahh... Nostalgia...