Need some advice...

[Hopefully]

Hi all,

Just wanted to get some advice.. have been browsing these boards for a while, and found that people here seem to be very wise in these matters.

Anyway, I've been single for several years, and in that time I've developed a worsening of a benign skin problem around my penis. I forget what it's called (but it has been diagnosed by a specialist), but it's basically spots which look like scabs near the head of my penis. I've had this problem for a long time, and altho it's got worse, I'm resigned to the fact that there's not really any easy treatmeant so I'll just have to live with it.

This has been easy so long as I've been single (and any partners I've had in that time I haven't been to worried about what they think), but now I've met a really cool girl, the first girl I've really liked in a long time. We've been out a couple of times, and I'm hoping our next date will end up in the bedroom.

So my question is: how should I approach the problem? The scabs have become fairly noticeable, so I think there's a pretty good chance she'll see them, but I'm a bit worried about telling her beforehand and spoiling the mood. I guess it might be worse to leave it to chance tho, and have her freak out thinking I've got an STD.

Anyway, any advice would be appreciated on this... Thanks in advance!

 

[DrHappy]

I would first know the technical term for your diagnosis, otherwise it may sound like you are just making up a story about visiting the doctor about this.

Is it "eczema?" She may have heard of this. It's treatable with steroid cream, but not really curable. Does it show up on other parts of your body?

 

[M's girl]

deleted

 

[SweetErika]

I've actually been the girl in this situation.

While "I have Condition [you need to give her the exact name of it], and it's not an STD or contagious in any way" might break the flow a little bit, let me tell you, it spoiled the mood a hell of a lot more to find, wonder, and have to ask about what was on my guy's cock.

My thought would be to not actually plan to have sex next time, and tell her when you're alone and she can get a good look at it if she wants. Have the correct name so she can look it up and see it's not contagious for herself.

 

[Hopefully]

I very much agree. If you don't even know what it's called (and what it is and why it does NOT do any harm...?) I would not believe you probably.

That's a good point, I'll have to look up the name. It's not eczema, it's basically (IIRC) a condition where the blood capillaries get more exposed around the skin. I think it's more common in older people, but sometimes happens earlier as well (I'm 29). But thanks for all the advice so far, this is really helping

 

[VelvetDarkness]

Sounds like you haven't seen your doctor in a while. If the scabs have become worse it may be worth going back again. Even if your problem isn't curable there may be a way to alleviate it a little. Also you shouldn't allow it to mask the fact that you could have caught something from a casual partner that is less noticable because of the problem that's already there.

I also think it will reassure her if you can say that you've had a check up. Maybe get your STD tests and so on our of the way so you can demonstrate that you have a clean bill of sexual health.

 

[Guest]

i am sure the is some relief for it

you could try to change doctor if the answers do not satisfy you.

it is worth remembering that such a condition leaves *you* pretty vulnerable to STDs yourself.

Take care!

Maharat

 

[simplegirl]

VelvetDarkness is right. It would be good to get checked for STD's to ensure that none are masked by your condition. Also, some treatment may be available to help. Despite having a clean bill of health, it would be wise to use condoms. Even if it's simply out of respect for your girl.

 

[subwannabe]

You have gotten extremely terrific advice.

Have you been to the doctor recently?

Have you gotten advice on controlling the problem?

Have you researched it in depth yourself?

I would avoid having sex right now until you get to know her a lot better. I agree about telling her ahead of time and knowing the exact name and letting her know you have been to the doctor recently for not only advice but to prove STD's have nothing to do with it. When you feel comfortable enough in your relationship to tell her ahead of time about this do tell her the exact name so she can research it herself and discover that there is nothing for her to worry about. Good luck. I hope it all works out.

 

[Hopefully]

Thanks, yeah really appreciate all the advice here.

Well, it looks like things aren't going to work out with this girl (things change pretty quickly, eh?). But on the bright side, I guess I've realised I need to do a bit more work on this problem. Altho I'm pretty confident I don't have an STD, I'm sure it can't hurt to have a check up, and also get more advice on whether there's any more treatment.

Hopefully, when the next girl comes around, I'll be much better prepared

Thanks again for all the advice.

 

[agent221]

i am going to have to agree with this.

I would first know the technical term for your diagnosis, otherwise it may sound like you are just making up a story about visiting the doctor about this.

Is it "eczema?" She may have heard of this. It's treatable with steroid cream, but not really curable. Does it show up on other parts of your body?