Needing a female perspective.

[BluKitten]

I do appreciate it, I really do, I just hate sounding all whiny. I imagine people reading and going "dude shut up"

If they did, they would be writing that on here! There is not one person on your thread who hasn't been through a similar situation. Hugs to you, boy!

 

[suit_up_si]

If they did, they would be writing that on here! There is not one person on your thread who hasn't been through a similar situation. Hugs to you, boy!

Thank you, it does mean a lot to me. this is a great place for me to vent because obviously having her on my facebook I can't vent there!

 

[BluKitten]

Thank you, it does mean a lot to me. this is a great place for me to vent because obviously having her on my facebook I can't vent there!

To True! Well vent away! Your not saying anything I haven't heard or felt before!

 

[suit_up_si]

To True! Well vent away! Your not saying anything I haven't heard or felt before!

To be honest today is a better day, I don't feel too down about the situation; that may change tomorrow! Ha

I'm just really confused about that phone call.

 

[Dr_O]

Jesus christ, man. You want to fuck this girl, right? So you've tried being her friend and giving her a shoulder to cry on. Did that work? No, and it's never worked in the history of fucking, except in the movies.

So do something different. Even if you don't go fuck another woman, you must make yourself less available. Right now, you're like a puppy dog to her. Whenever she is lonely or needs cheering up, there you are, panting and wagging your tail. She likes the attention, but when she's feeling better, she can just put you outside, knowing you'll be right there,wagging at the door, when she comes back.

So even if you're not getting busy fucking someone else, get busy doing something else. Blow her off a couple of times -- I don't mean ask her to do something and then, stand her up, but just don't fucking call or text her back for a while, or at all. If she complains, don't fucking apologize. "I was busy."

The other thing you need to do if you want to fuck is make sure you see her as a sexual person. When you do talk to her, steer the conversation to sex. Make sexual jokes, talk about women you've fucked, ask her about guys she's fucked, etc. Talk about other hot women right in front of her, or a woman you might ask out because she has great tits. Etc.

Be sexual and be less available. And if that doesn't work with this girl, there are 3 Billion other women on this fucking planet.

Sack up and grow a pair.

 

[suit_up_si]

Jesus christ, man. You want to fuck this girl, right? So you've tried being her friend and giving her a shoulder to cry on. Did that work? No, and it's never worked in the history of fucking, except in the movies.

So do something different. Even if you don't go fuck another woman, you must make yourself less available. Right now, you're like a puppy dog to her. Whenever she is lonely or needs cheering up, there you are, panting and wagging your tail. She likes the attention, but when she's feeling better, she can just put you outside, knowing you'll be right there,wagging at the door, when she comes back.

So even if you're not getting busy fucking someone else, get busy doing something else. Blow her off a couple of times -- I don't mean ask her to do something and then, stand her up, but just don't fucking call or text her back for a while, or at all. If she complains, don't fucking apologize. "I was busy."

The other thing you need to do if you want to fuck is make sure you see her as a sexual person. When you do talk to her, steer the conversation to sex. Make sexual jokes, talk about women you've fucked, ask her about guys she's fucked, etc. Talk about other hot women right in front of her, or a woman you might ask out because she has great tits. Etc.

Be sexual and be less available. And if that doesn't work with this girl, there are 3 Billion other women on this fucking planet.

Sack up and grow a pair.

Cheers for that, but I've not been a puppy dog as you put it, I'm not always at her beck and call. She knows plenty about me so acting like a cunt will get me nowhere fast. I'm not one of those guys who can just go around fucking any bird I see, I just don't have it in me. Like I say I appreciate peoples input but I get the impression you haven't heard everything I've said, which is cool.

 

[Mac98]

Oh that wasn't with this girl, that was some other girl. This one I've only known a few months, but I know if she wasn't with him she'd be with me, she said so (which killed me at the time!) and like I said things have gone on between us.

If this is the case, then all you have to do is be there for her. You know her best so only you can tell when she's finally over her ex boyfriend or not. I wouldn't venture in if she's not over it, but then again it might work. I would say that given the circumstances, you don't have much to worry about. Be patient but not TOO patient. Hang out with her. Help her change her ideas while simulataneously getting closer to her. My opinion.

To True! Well vent away! Your not saying anything I haven't heard or felt before!

Amen!

Jesus christ, man. You want to fuck this girl, right? So you've tried being her friend and giving her a shoulder to cry on. Did that work? No, and it's never worked in the history of fucking, except in the movies.

So do something different. Even if you don't go fuck another woman, you must make yourself less available. Right now, you're like a puppy dog to her. Whenever she is lonely or needs cheering up, there you are, panting and wagging your tail. She likes the attention, but when she's feeling better, she can just put you outside, knowing you'll be right there,wagging at the door, when she comes back.

So even if you're not getting busy fucking someone else, get busy doing something else. Blow her off a couple of times -- I don't mean ask her to do something and then, stand her up, but just don't fucking call or text her back for a while, or at all. If she complains, don't fucking apologize. "I was busy."

The other thing you need to do if you want to fuck is make sure you see her as a sexual person. When you do talk to her, steer the conversation to sex. Make sexual jokes, talk about women you've fucked, ask her about guys she's fucked, etc. Talk about other hot women right in front of her, or a woman you might ask out because she has great tits. Etc.

Be sexual and be less available. And if that doesn't work with this girl, there are 3 Billion other women on this fucking planet.

Sack up and grow a pair.

LOL this HAS to be the worst post possible for this thread

 

[swtrthnhoney]

To be honest, if some guy was telling me about girls he f**cked or wanted to, or about some girls boobs then I would definitely put him on my "not if he was the last guy on earth" list. It may work for him but wouldn't work for me.

Just be yourself, don't be too available, try to be understanding but you need to move her view of you to a different position. Some of the guy threads sound correct (except one, IMO).

If it's meant to be, then it will be. In the meantime, try to stay positive and do positive things to keep your mind and hands occupied (a hobby or other interest). I know that is not easy. It will make you more attractive to her in the long run, when she wakes up and starts looking for another possible mate.

 

[BluKitten]

To be honest, if some guy was telling me about girls he f**cked or wanted to, or about some girls boobs then I would definitely put him on my "not if he was the last guy on earth" list. It may work for him but wouldn't work for me.

Just be yourself, don't be too available, try to be understanding but you need to move her view of you to a different position. Some of the guy threads sound correct (except one, IMO).

If it's meant to be, then it will be. In the meantime, try to stay positive and do positive things to keep your mind and hands occupied (a hobby or other interest). I know that is not easy. It will make you more attractive to her in the long run, when she wakes up and starts looking for another possible mate.

Great advice! What she said!

 

[i_want_kitty]

I think she just needs a little more time to get over things. She says she's okay, but deep down she most likely isn't. Just give her some space so she can figure things out on her own. From time to time you can text her to just say hi and see how she is doing. Once she's ready and picks herself back up again, she'll maybe hit you up with a text.

 

[suit_up_si]

Ok people, I tried to call her, just to see if she wants to hang out. I got no answer and this time she hasn't returned my call. She has also been tagged in some photos on facebook with her ex (Im assuming they're recent).

So I think this is over with, I couldn't feel any worse right now. Thank you all for your advice.

 

[Mac98]

Ok people, I tried to call her, just to see if she wants to hang out. I got no answer and this time she hasn't returned my call. She has also been tagged in some photos on facebook with her ex (Im assuming they're recent).

So I think this is over with, I couldn't feel any worse right now. Thank you all for your advice.

I'm sorry man. These things hurt like a bitch! There's not much else to do now but to move on... however impossible that sounds. Good luck to you and again, I'm sorry.

However, just for the sake of it, I would still check and make sure those are recent photos. Odds are that they are (cuz who would tag her in a photo with her ex) but still... I would still check and make sure.

 

[Dr_O]

To be honest, if some guy was telling me about girls he f**cked or wanted to, or about some girls boobs then I would definitely put him on my "not if he was the last guy on earth" list. It may work for him but wouldn't work for me.

If it was a guy you were thinking about fucking, yes.

If it was a guy you had firmly entrenched in the friend zone, it might make you reconsider.

To the OP, I hope you realize I am on your side. I want you to get laid and I used to be like you are, unable to get laid and unaware of what I was doing wrong.

If you want to avoid a repeat of this situation with the next girl you want to fuck, then you are going to have to recognize that your current style/behavior is not working. You need to be more sexual and less available to stay out of the friend zone.

And if you really think being more sexual and less available is "acting like a cunt," then I foresee lots of friends who are girls and not a lot of girlfriends in your future.

And with this particular girl, the ship has sailed. She is not interested in you and is likely annoyed that you keep calling her.

Find another bird and remember this lesson. The next time you want to fuck a girl, act differently than you did with this one. More sexual and less available.

Good luck.

 

[suit_up_si]

If it was a guy you were thinking about fucking, yes.

If it was a guy you had firmly entrenched in the friend zone, it might make you reconsider.

To the OP, I hope you realize I am on your side. I want you to get laid and I used to be like you are, unable to get laid and unaware of what I was doing wrong.

If you want to avoid a repeat of this situation with the next girl you want to fuck, then you are going to have to recognize that your current style/behavior is not working. You need to be more sexual and less available to stay out of the friend zone.

And if you really think being more sexual and less available is "acting like a cunt," then I foresee lots of friends who are girls and not a lot of girlfriends in your future.

And with this particular girl, the ship has sailed. She is not interested in you and is likely annoyed that you keep calling her.

Find another bird and remember this lesson. The next time you want to fuck a girl, act differently than you did with this one. More sexual and less available.

Good luck.

Yeah again thanks for the advice, but I really wanted more than just to fuck this girl, it's not the be all and end all for me and I don't keep calling her I've called her twice in over a month (and she returned one; just to fuck with me I guess?).

 

[suit_up_si]

I'm sorry man. These things hurt like a bitch! There's not much else to do now but to move on... however impossible that sounds. Good luck to you and again, I'm sorry.

However, just for the sake of it, I would still check and make sure those are recent photos. Odds are that they are (cuz who would tag her in a photo with her ex) but still... I would still check and make sure.

Thanks, the photos were uploaded a few weeks ago so who knows, right now however I'm in the bitter/anger phase, so I couldn't really give a fuck.

I'm probably being irrational and letting my sadness/anger have an effect on my comments but right now I could care less what she does, I hope they are back together and that he cheats on her again. I realise I may lose a lot of sympathy here but I don't care; I feel like a prize dickhead who has been played from the start.

 

[swtrthnhoney]

You are not a prize dickhead. I don't know that she played you - you just happened to be there and available when the poop hit the fan (of course, this depends on her personality and character a lot and I don't know her).

You sound like you have very intense feelings for her. It sounds like she doesn't know what she wants right now (maybe her old boyfriend without the cheating, or maybe with the cheating - some girls like to have something to whine about even if they don't like the treatment).

Either way - you need to take care of you!!! Go do something positive with your time. Keep your mind off of her as much as possible (by doing something positive). Learn a new language, take a line dance class or something (chicks like dance), whatever floats your boat, learn to sail (chicks like sailing), something, anything.

I once had the same shoe on the other foot. I wanted the relationship with my boyfriend who was acting like a complete d**k towards me. A guyfriend wanted to be my boyfriend. I wanted to vent (but really wanted my bf to want me as much as my friend seemed to). I did not try to encourage friend beyond being friends. That was a difficult thing to do, and I had to distance myself from him when it started to become too difficult to be "just friends". I still have great fondness for him as a friend and always cherished our friendship. We have different core principles and that would get in the way of being anything more than "just friends". (Same thing with another guy.) Both were great guys, just not the right one for me. (Apparently, neither was my bf.)

Fortunately, there are more fish in the sea, etc. You need to practice your fishing - the only way to do that is to keep fishing!!! If fisherman are not catching fish, they move to another fishing hole/spot.

 

[Mac98]

Thanks, the photos were uploaded a few weeks ago so who knows, right now however I'm in the bitter/anger phase, so I couldn't really give a fuck.

I'm probably being irrational and letting my sadness/anger have an effect on my comments but right now I could care less what she does, I hope they are back together and that he cheats on her again. I realise I may lose a lot of sympathy here but I don't care; I feel like a prize dickhead who has been played from the start.

Dude, if it was posted two weeks ago it might be a picture that dates from 2 weeks ago... or even before then. Sure, she doesn't answer your calls anymore, but I would feel that THAT would be the major malfunction here, not the picture(s).

But man do I know what you're going through. I'm notorious here for getting stuck in those stupid fucken situations. There are two VERY good ways of getting over this...

A) Find someone else. You don't choose this, but go out and start meeting new people. Find a hobby, go out with friends downtown and just have a good time. Sooner or later you'll find someone else that'll make your heart beat through your chest.

B) Time. If "A" doesn't suit you, then all you can do is wait it out and do what you can to heal yourself and move forward. It sounds so fucken stupid to hear it and it feels like you'll remain broken forever but believe you me... Time heals all wounds (well... most, at least).

I would say give it one last shot. Wait for strike 3 cuz right now, you're stuck in a pool of anger and sadness and your emotions are running you. I know the feeling and your mind starts fucking with itself.

Whatever you do... DON'T take your emotions out on her. Spare her of that. Unless she deliberately fucked with you and actually DID mean to harm you, don't make that mistake.

 

[suit_up_si]

You are not a prize dickhead. I don't know that she played you - you just happened to be there and available when the poop hit the fan (of course, this depends on her personality and character a lot and I don't know her).

You sound like you have very intense feelings for her. It sounds like she doesn't know what she wants right now (maybe her old boyfriend without the cheating, or maybe with the cheating - some girls like to have something to whine about even if they don't like the treatment).

Either way - you need to take care of you!!! Go do something positive with your time. Keep your mind off of her as much as possible (by doing something positive). Learn a new language, take a line dance class or something (chicks like dance), whatever floats your boat, learn to sail (chicks like sailing), something, anything.

I once had the same shoe on the other foot. I wanted the relationship with my boyfriend who was acting like a complete d**k towards me. A guyfriend wanted to be my boyfriend. I wanted to vent (but really wanted my bf to want me as much as my friend seemed to). I did not try to encourage friend beyond being friends. That was a difficult thing to do, and I had to distance myself from him when it started to become too difficult to be "just friends". I still have great fondness for him as a friend and always cherished our friendship. We have different core principles and that would get in the way of being anything more than "just friends". (Same thing with another guy.) Both were great guys, just not the right one for me. (Apparently, neither was my bf.)

Fortunately, there are more fish in the sea, etc. You need to practice your fishing - the only way to do that is to keep fishing!!! If fisherman are not catching fish, they move to another fishing hole/spot.

Yeah but you didn't insinuate more than friendship, that's the difference here. She did, that's why this has fucked me up, I've been knocked back as just a friend before and I know the signs. This was different.

 

[Hannah90]

Give her time, women mess you up in the head, and I know because I've done it before. Just leave her wanting more xx

 

[BluKitten]

Okay! Get out some paper and a pen! Now write to her! Get what you are feeling off your chest! Tell that you know she was with him for a while, but that you have respected and admired her for a while, as well. Tell her that you would like for her to give you a chance, and she should give you a chance to find out if the two of you could make each other happy. If it works great, if not, at least you will have given it a shot. Ask her to give you the courtesy of letting you know!

You are making yourself miserable with all the uncertainty. And, that is start to make you angry and bitter. I really hate to see a young man, who is so full of compassion, become bitter. That will just close you off to the woman who is right for you!

Write a letter to her and tell her how you feel. Put it in the post! Do not text or email it. Pen, paper, envelope and stamp! Everyone opens and reads a hard copy!

I really hate seeing you like this!

 

[suit_up_si]

Okay! Get out some paper and a pen! Now write to her! Get what you are feeling off your chest! Tell that you know she was with him for a while, but that you have respected and admired her for a while, as well. Tell her that you would like for her to give you a chance, and she should give you a chance to find out if the two of you could make each other happy. If it works great, if not, at least you will have given it a shot. Ask her to give you the courtesy of letting you know!

You are making yourself miserable with all the uncertainty. And, that is start to make you angry and bitter. I really hate to see a young man, who is so full of compassion, become bitter. That will just close you off to the woman who is right for you!

Write a letter to her and tell her how you feel. Put it in the post! Do not text or email it. Pen, paper, envelope and stamp! Everyone opens and reads a hard copy!

I really hate seeing you like this!

Telling me she'll text me back, then not doing so and ignoring a phone call seem fairly conclusive to me. I don't think she wants me and I can't keep sitting around wondering if she does, as painful as it is to admit I think I have my answer and I think I'll just be embarrassing myself if I pursue her now.

 

[suit_up_si]

Give her time, women mess you up in the head, and I know because I've done it before. Just leave her wanting more xx

Well if she wants me (and I'm firmly in the 'she doesn't' camp) she has my number but I'm not going to do anything now.

 

[Mac98]

Okay! Get out some paper and a pen! Now write to her! Get what you are feeling off your chest! Tell that you know she was with him for a while, but that you have respected and admired her for a while, as well. Tell her that you would like for her to give you a chance, and she should give you a chance to find out if the two of you could make each other happy. If it works great, if not, at least you will have given it a shot. Ask her to give you the courtesy of letting you know!

You are making yourself miserable with all the uncertainty. And, that is start to make you angry and bitter. I really hate to see a young man, who is so full of compassion, become bitter. That will just close you off to the woman who is right for you!

Write a letter to her and tell her how you feel. Put it in the post! Do not text or email it. Pen, paper, envelope and stamp! Everyone opens and reads a hard copy!

I really hate seeing you like this!

I strongly agree with this. You have absolutely nothing to lose in doing this!

Telling me she'll text me back, then not doing so and ignoring a phone call seem fairly conclusive to me. I don't think she wants me and I can't keep sitting around wondering if she does, as painful as it is to admit I think I have my answer and I think I'll just be embarrassing myself if I pursue her now.

Then do it for you and not for her. It'll help get it off your chest and you'll have said what you had to say. It helps a lot. I've done this too and it helped tremendously.

I would not spit at the idea of writing a letter. I would strongly consider it. You don't have to make it long if you don't want to. Just say what you have to say. But at least it'll be out there and your job will be done.

 

[suit_up_si]

I strongly agree with this. You have absolutely nothing to lose in doing this!




Then do it for you and not for her. It'll help get it off your chest and you'll have said what you had to say. It helps a lot. I've done this too and it helped tremendously.

I would not spit at the idea of writing a letter. I would strongly consider it. You don't have to make it long if you don't want to. Just say what you have to say. But at least it'll be out there and your job will be done.

Sorry dude, perhaps when I feel a little less bitter about this situation (and hopefully by then I'll be over her) I'll give that some thought but for now I still feel like some douche she used to get some attention because she wasn't getting any from her boyfriend.

 

[Dr_O]

Okay! Get out some paper and a pen! Now write to her! Get what you are feeling off your chest! Tell that you know she was with him for a while, but that you have respected and admired her for a while, as well. Tell her that you would like for her to give you a chance, and she should give you a chance to find out if the two of you could make each other happy. If it works great, if not, at least you will have given it a shot. Ask her to give you the courtesy of letting you know!

You are making yourself miserable with all the uncertainty. And, that is start to make you angry and bitter. I really hate to see a young man, who is so full of compassion, become bitter. That will just close you off to the woman who is right for you!

Write a letter to her and tell her how you feel. Put it in the post! Do not text or email it. Pen, paper, envelope and stamp! Everyone opens and reads a hard copy!

I really hate seeing you like this!

No offense, but this is terrible advice. She has made it beyond clear that she is not interested, at least not right now. Professing his deep feelings for her will only ensure that she never responds and will probably avoid him totally.

If he is to have any shot at this ever, he must show her that he is not the proverbial "dick in a glass case" (in case of emergency, break glass). He needs to take a step back, not make additional entreaties that will never, ever work.