New Adventure, New Thread (M)

[Cthulhu1138]

Well, it very much appears that you have accomplished the get in shape part. Now, what to do with the rest of the year.

What a pleasant surprise to see a comment here from you!

Thank you!

As for the remainder of the year, it will no doubt involve the onerous task of "staying in shape" and if I am fortunate making some new friends.

 

[Cthulhu1138]

Slag Wall

I am back on the south side, the part of town where the only skyscrapers are cathedral towers or old steel truss bridges, working on my old boss's boat.

I made a deal with myself that I would only be down here two days a week so I had time for myself, time to recover from the soul-cruahinf traffic, the demoralizing cold and the isolation, the low light.

This season I start without fresh heartbreak and few if any online friends to distract me from the rhythm of sanding and cleaning and varnishing.


That does not mean that I am not plagued by ghosts, by remembrances of people gone from my life (whether I wanted that or not).

I hope that I can get some good work done.

 

[sally_sparrow]

I am back on the south side, the part of town where the only skyscrapers are cathedral towers or old steel truss bridges, working on my old boss's boat.

I made a deal with myself that I would only be down here two days a week so I had time for myself, time to recover from the soul-cruahinf traffic, the demoralizing cold and the isolation, the low light.

This season I start without fresh heartbreak and few if any online friends to distract me from the rhythm of sanding and cleaning and varnishing.


That does not mean that I am not plagued by ghosts, by remembrances of people gone from my life (whether I wanted that or not).

I hope that I can get some good work done.

Beautiful work. I hope working on the boat is a good experience rather than an inconvenience. My dad is a long-time boater and takes great pride in his work on their boat, and it shows. I'm sure your old boss appreciates the assistance.

 

[talikat]

I am tired and sore, my belly is full but I am dehydrated from dancing and singing.

I met several gorgeous women who looked the best they have in months, whom I will never see again.

I spoke my heart about how much I love a friend and received applause for my bravery.

My best friend is married, and I helped.
It is time for some sleep before the new year begins in earnest.

You look awesome!!

So it is a new year, although I confess that I feel very little difference from this year to last.

I suppose I am a little bit more resigned to how some things have gone in my life. I may have a bit more money in the bank than I had last year thanks to a raise, which is nice.

I am getting better about lost loves and romances that seem to have occurred more in my head than they did in reality.

I am not fan of New Year's resolutions or the whole "new year's new you" thing.

Which is not to say that I am not trying hard to get in shape and be ready for new challenges ahead.

Me either, nobody ever keeps resolutions as far as I can tell. Seize every day and you don't need them anyway. Your shape is fine!!

I am back on the south side, the part of town where the only skyscrapers are cathedral towers or old steel truss bridges, working on my old boss's boat.

I made a deal with myself that I would only be down here two days a week so I had time for myself, time to recover from the soul-cruahinf traffic, the demoralizing cold and the isolation, the low light.

This season I start without fresh heartbreak and few if any online friends to distract me from the rhythm of sanding and cleaning and varnishing.


That does not mean that I am not plagued by ghosts, by remembrances of people gone from my life (whether I wanted that or not).

I hope that I can get some good work done.

 

[Cthulhu1138]

Beautiful work. I hope working on the boat is a good experience rather than an inconvenience. My dad is a long-time boater and takes great pride in his work on their boat, and it shows. I'm sure your old boss appreciates the assistance.

It is a great inconvenience to travel so far, to work alone in the cold.
But the boat is nearly 100 years old, so I see it as helping to preserve a piece of history, and helping out a kind man who gave me a job for almost a decade.

There is something therapeutic and meditative about sanding and preparing a piece of wood to be 'finished.'

There is a beauty, elegance, and strength to a wooden boat.

And there are few things as beautiful as a well-varnished piece of wood.

You look awesome!!

Me either, nobody ever keeps resolutions as far as I can tell. Seize every day and you don't need them anyway. Your shape is fine!!

Thank you, as ever, my dear Tali for your praise and support!

 

[Cthulhu1138]

Reckoning

This morning I received the phone call that I have been expecting for more than a month.

My mother passed some time last night.

After changing all of the plans I had for this week and other wranglings, I dragged my wife and dog north to be greeted by my father with notice that he needed emergency medical attention.

So now in addition to dealing with a house chock-a-block crap and canceling ridiculous subscriptions and finding a way to donate or discard so many, many things, I need to nurse an old man back to health.

It has been a long day. It will be a long week.

 

[talikat]

This morning I received the phone call that I have been expecting for more than a month.

My mother passed some time last night.

After changing all of the plans I had for this week and other wranglings, I dragged my wife and dog north to be greeted by my father with notice that he needed emergency medical attention.

So now in addition to dealing with a house chock-a-block crap and canceling ridiculous subscriptions and finding a way to donate or discard so many, many things, I need to nurse an old man back to health.

It has been a long day. It will be a long week.

So sorry about your mom! HUGS!

 

[MadameSarcasm]

My dear - I am so sorry to hear about your mom and dad. Wishing you patience and strength in the coming days. Please know that you have friends who are in your corner as you go through this process.

MadameSarcasm

 

[Cthulhu1138]

Warning signs

I would like to thank you ladies for your kind words and support.

I will be dealing with things away from home for the next week.

I need to get to the grocery store to buy some Staples and a razor--after I make room in one of the three refrigerators.

Hoarding is a sad business.

Today on the drive back to my father's I noticed a single gray hair
in my thick, unkempt brow.

The stress of living and working with high school children turned my hair gray. Now all this malarkey is stealing the last bits of color inhad left.

It seems that doing what is right for my father is a thankless job, repaid by strife and yelling. I suppose that I should not expect anything different after four decades of strife.

I have grown old and gray in the pursuit of being a good son.

 

[MadameSarcasm]

On the other hand, that's one gloriously beautiful eye! The ladies of the Great Lakes are lucky indeed.

 

[Cthulhu1138]

I want to thank all of the people who reached out to offer their support in the past two weeks.

I will be back soon with more photos and ramblings.

For tonight, just a quick pic, a visual reminder that even when people are no longer in your life they can still leave a mark.

 

[sally_sparrow]

I want to thank all of the people who reached out to offer their support in the past two weeks.

I will be back soon with more photos and ramblings.

For tonight, just a quick pic, a visual reminder that even when people are no longer in your life they can still leave a mark.

I was thinking of you yesterday and was wondering how you were doing. I am glad to see you here again and hope you are doing well.

 

[Cthulhu1138]

I was thinking of you yesterday and was wondering how you were doing. I am glad to see you here again and hope you are doing well.

'Tis always a pleasure to be in the thoughts of clever, beautiful women.

;-)

I am back home and doing as well as I can given all the excitement of the last two weeks.

It is hard finding the motivation that I once had and to get back in to old habits (aside from sitting on the couch and snuggling my dogger).
Thank you.

 

[Cthulhu1138]

Stars

This is one of the things I wrote two weeks ago while in the wilds of Eastern Wisconsin.
Sharing it here (along with some other thoughts) will be a bit of therapy for me:

Tonight I looked up at the sky and saw stars for what seemed like the first time in a decade. Standing watch in the south was Orion and starkly guiding my way to the North Star was the Big Dipper; when I turned around and faced the house I looked left and saw Cassiopeia. I stood quiet and still realizing for the first time this week that there are no planes, no buses, no trains to mar the quietude of this remote location and that the more still I was, the longer I looked, the more stars I could see-- the deeper into the cosmos the velvety night sky was revealed to me.

Part of me regrets that I spent so little time in the past two decades visiting this place and yet another part of me knows that if I had done so before this day I would not have been happy and I may not have appreciated what I have now.

 

[talikat]

I would like to thank you ladies for your kind words and support.

I will be dealing with things away from home for the next week.

I need to get to the grocery store to buy some Staples and a razor--after I make room in one of the three refrigerators.

Hoarding is a sad business.

Today on the drive back to my father's I noticed a single gray hair
in my thick, unkempt brow.

The stress of living and working with high school children turned my hair gray. Now all this malarkey is stealing the last bits of color inhad left.

It seems that doing what is right for my father is a thankless job, repaid by strife and yelling. I suppose that I should not expect anything different after four decades of strife.

I have grown old and gray in the pursuit of being a good son.

Great eye pictures!!

I want to thank all of the people who reached out to offer their support in the past two weeks.

I will be back soon with more photos and ramblings.

For tonight, just a quick pic, a visual reminder that even when people are no longer in your life they can still leave a mark.

Best thing I like about this picture? The fur!

This is one of the things I wrote two weeks ago while in the wilds of Eastern Wisconsin.
Sharing it here (along with some other thoughts) will be a bit of therapy for me:

Tonight I looked up at the sky and saw stars for what seemed like the first time in a decade. Standing watch in the south was Orion and starkly guiding my way to the North Star was the Big Dipper; when I turned around and faced the house I looked left and saw Cassiopeia. I stood quiet and still realizing for the first time this week that there are no planes, no buses, no trains to mar the quietude of this remote location and that the more still I was, the longer I looked, the more stars I could see-- the deeper into the cosmos the velvety night sky was revealed to me.

Part of me regrets that I spent so little time in the past two decades visiting this place and yet another part of me knows that if I had done so before this day I would not have been happy and I may not have appreciated what I have now.

Beautiful!

 

[Cthulhu1138]

Thank you so much Tali

It is tough getting back in to old routines.

This place is a nice outlet and a great source of support.

 

[Cthulhu1138]

I Burn


Fire is bright
Fire is clean*

[I wrote this many days ago when I had deal with not only death but illness and hoarding. It is a good snapshot of how I felt recently.]

Tonight I made a fire. Tonight I made a fire and the kindling was 30 years worth of seething rage. I woke to snow, heavy and full flakes which meant that the people who said they would help today would have a hard time getting to us. I spent the day inside with my father doing my best to ignore his comments, his sounds, his thoughts to himself spoken out loud. His sobs and his rants and his accusations that he claims are not accusations. Tonight I made a fire rather than burn down a house. Tonight I made a fire stoked by my anger and resentment and frustration. Tonight I made a fire out of fallen trees and 5 years worth of unopened mail and unused, unread magazines.

So I made a fire and I cried like a little boy who wanted normal parents; who wanted to be loved, who wanted a father to love him enough to change.

I watched the embers spread out from the pile and light onto the white thick snow. I watched all of them keenly knowing that my father would never let me forget a single uncontrolled fire that had sparked from the one I created. I watched as the warm red dots cooled and flickered into nothingness in the cold night.

I cannot help thinking of the phrase " a drop in the ocean" and I think that when it comes to human life an ember floating on the wind lighting in a snow bank is a pretty good analogy for some of the fruitless endeavors we foolish mortals undertake.

*With apologies to Mr. Bradbury. I know that phrase through an old song and not from the very poignant novel.

 

[talikat]

Thank you so much Tali

It is tough getting back in to old routines.

This place is a nice outlet and a great source of support.

It is, I agree, Lit is a good place for support when you need it or you just need to do your routine things.

Fire is bright
Fire is clean*

[I wrote this many days ago when I had deal with not only death but illness and hoarding. It is a good snapshot of how I felt recently.]

Tonight I made a fire. Tonight I made a fire and the kindling was 30 years worth of seething rage. I woke to snow, heavy and full flakes which meant that the people who said they would help today would have a hard time getting to us. I spent the day inside with my father doing my best to ignore his comments, his sounds, his thoughts to himself spoken out loud. His sobs and his rants and his accusations that he claims are not accusations. Tonight I made a fire rather than burn down a house. Tonight I made a fire stoked by my anger and resentment and frustration. Tonight I made a fire out of fallen trees and 5 years worth of unopened mail and unused, unread magazines.

So I mafe fire and I cried like a little boy who wanted normal parents; who wanted to be loved, who wanted a father to love him enough to change.

I watched the embers spread out from the pile and light onto the white thick snow. I watched all of them keenly knowing that my father would never let me forget a single uncontrolled fire that had sparked from the one I created. I watched as the warm red dots cooled and flickered into nothingness in the cold night.

I cannot help thinking of the phrase " a drop in the ocean" and I think that when it comes to human life an ember floating on the wind lighting in a snow bank is a pretty good analogy for some of the fruitless endeavors we foolish mortals undertake.

*With apologies to Mr. Bradbury. I know that phrase through an old song and not from the very poignant novel.

Lovely photo, I love fire and can stare at a fireplace for hours.

 

[Cthulhu1138]

Thank you Tali.

I used to chop wood and then make a fire as means of working out my frustrations and aggression living in my parents' house as a teenager.

Not having a fireplace is one of the shortcomings of the old farmhouse that my father bought.

True to it's rustic history, there is an old cast iron furnace in the yard that I used to burn unopened junk mail, uneaten nuts and old, dusty dried flowers and plants. It helped save space in the dumpster.

 

[MadameSarcasm]

Fire can be cleansing and cathartic. Wishing you healing right now and in the days to come.

 

[talikat]

Thank you Tali.

I used to chop wood and then make a fire as means of working out my frustrations and aggression living in my parents' house as a teenager.

Not having a fireplace is one of the shortcomings of the old farmhouse that my father bought.

True to it's rustic history, there is an old cast iron furnace in the yard that I used to burn unopened junk mail, uneaten nuts and old, dusty dried flowers and plants. It helped save space in the dumpster.

I love those old furnaces! My grandmother had a great looking coal burning stove that heated her house that she kept until she passed because she hated modern conveniences.

She only let them put in a kitchen sink in her house for doing dishes. She had an outhouse and bathed in an old metal tub in the kitchen. She raised 8 children that way, bless her soul.

 

[Cthulhu1138]

Fire can be cleansing and cathartic. Wishing you healing right now and in the days to come.

Thank you my dear.

I am hoping for some relaxation. Next week

I love those old furnaces! My grandmother had a great looking coal burning stove that heated her house that she kept until she passed because she hated modern conveniences.

She only let them put in a kitchen sink in her house for doing dishes. She had an outhouse and bathed in an old metal tub in the kitchen. She raised 8 children that way, bless her soul.

Tali, your grandmother was more of a badass than I can ever hope to be!

That is quite some resourcefulness, and a good bit of stubbornness

 

[Cthulhu1138]

I have been home for a week and trying to back on to familiar, healthy habits.

Rage and anger are not the best ways to get a cardio workout or a good source of endorphins.


I want to let y'all know that I am not looking to watch the world burn or hoping to be perpetually angry (I have a knack for it, but rage is not such a marketable skill).


So for everyone looking for sweaty, salacious photos, we are back on track.

 

[Lonelywife1205]

I have been home for a week and trying to back on to familiar, healthy habits.

Rage and anger are not the best ways to get a cardio workout or a good source of endorphins.


I want to let y'all know that I am not looking to watch the world burn or hoping to be perpetually angry (I have a knack for it, but rage is not such a marketable skill).


So for everyone looking for sweaty, salacious photos, we are back on track.

You know I love you sweaty.

 

[SweetnsugarE]

Fire is bright
Fire is clean*

[I wrote this many days ago when I had deal with not only death but illness and hoarding. It is a good snapshot of how I felt recently.]

Tonight I made a fire. Tonight I made a fire and the kindling was 30 years worth of seething rage. I woke to snow, heavy and full flakes which meant that the people who said they would help today would have a hard time getting to us. I spent the day inside with my father doing my best to ignore his comments, his sounds, his thoughts to himself spoken out loud. His sobs and his rants and his accusations that he claims are not accusations. Tonight I made a fire rather than burn down a house. Tonight I made a fire stoked by my anger and resentment and frustration. Tonight I made a fire out of fallen trees and 5 years worth of unopened mail and unused, unread magazines.

So I mafe fire and I cried like a little boy who wanted normal parents; who wanted to be loved, who wanted a father to love him enough to change.

I watched the embers spread out from the pile and light onto the white thick snow. I watched all of them keenly knowing that my father would never let me forget a single uncontrolled fire that had sparked from the one I created. I watched as the warm red dots cooled and flickered into nothingness in the cold night.

I cannot help thinking of the phrase " a drop in the ocean" and I think that when it comes to human life an ember floating on the wind lighting in a snow bank is a pretty good analogy for some of the fruitless endeavors we foolish mortals undertake.

*With apologies to Mr. Bradbury. I know that phrase through an old song and not from the very poignant novel.

Thank you Tali.

I used to chop wood and then make a fire as means of working out my frustrations and aggression living in my parents' house as a teenager.

Not having a fireplace is one of the shortcomings of the old farmhouse that my father bought.

True to it's rustic history, there is an old cast iron furnace in the yard that I used to burn unopened junk mail, uneaten nuts and old, dusty dried flowers and plants. It helped save space in the dumpster.

I have been home for a week and trying to back on to familiar, healthy habits.

Rage and anger are not the best ways to get a cardio workout or a good source of endorphins.


I want to let y'all know that I am not looking to watch the world burn or hoping to be perpetually angry (I have a knack for it, but rage is not such a marketable skill).


So for everyone looking for sweaty, salacious photos, we are back on track.

Mmm...stay on track, Sexy man! Your strength in character will help you to endure through the fire.