Willing and Unsure
Stuffed Animal Princess
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- Apr 4, 2001
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- 8,654
I think I'll agree with you there kitten... the passive ones usually do go unnoticed.
Nice guys finish last
- Thread starter Xander
- Start date
Renegade
Strange and Disturbed
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- Aug 1, 2000
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That phrase has proven to be true a few times before from what I see. I'm always the guy that girls say "He would make a good boyfriend" but none of them are actualy interested in themselfs. *thinks that over for a second* God, I feel depressed now.
Willing and Unsure
Stuffed Animal Princess
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i know what you mean renegade.... i get the same thing (only going the other direction)... it really sucks.
Silverlily
Kitty Mama - East Coast
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- Aug 9, 2000
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- 13,101
Mr. BollWeevil, I think you are on to something.
Many women want a man to treat them like princesses, totally unrealistic. There is a difference between being treated well and being spoiled. (This is pure speculation, mind you) They end up with a man who gives them whatever they want, but has few relationship skills. Things start to go sour and, unable to cope, the relationship turns abusive.
"Nice" guys on the other hand, want a relationship built on trust, respect, etc., rather than gifts, and don't make the cut. So maybe the fault isn't with the guy, but instead with the expectations of many women.
I'm curious to see where this goes in discussion. I have always been attracted to aggressive, physical men, but would kill the first jackass who got rough.
Many women want a man to treat them like princesses, totally unrealistic. There is a difference between being treated well and being spoiled. (This is pure speculation, mind you) They end up with a man who gives them whatever they want, but has few relationship skills. Things start to go sour and, unable to cope, the relationship turns abusive.
"Nice" guys on the other hand, want a relationship built on trust, respect, etc., rather than gifts, and don't make the cut. So maybe the fault isn't with the guy, but instead with the expectations of many women.
I'm curious to see where this goes in discussion. I have always been attracted to aggressive, physical men, but would kill the first jackass who got rough.
bluntforcemama
Aqua Vulva
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- Nov 11, 2000
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Xander....
You know all about my Monk, and he's a wonderful man, not an ass, not a jerk... Oh and he didn't finish last at all... he was my first!
And sadly enough... only a few more times after that! Hence, Monk. Ah well... he's a great guy. He's funny, smart, athletic, gorgeous, caring, understanding, masculine, confident, undettered, and my favorite part: intimidating, except to me, of course... I just reach out and smack his ass... that takes him down a peg or two. He has a great smile, a great body, a great mind. His morals are inflexible, his eyes are bluer than a cloudless sky. So what if he never wants to have sex with me? right? *sigh* Whatever am I going to do?
You know all about my Monk, and he's a wonderful man, not an ass, not a jerk... Oh and he didn't finish last at all... he was my first!
And sadly enough... only a few more times after that! Hence, Monk. Ah well... he's a great guy. He's funny, smart, athletic, gorgeous, caring, understanding, masculine, confident, undettered, and my favorite part: intimidating, except to me, of course... I just reach out and smack his ass... that takes him down a peg or two. He has a great smile, a great body, a great mind. His morals are inflexible, his eyes are bluer than a cloudless sky. So what if he never wants to have sex with me? right? *sigh* Whatever am I going to do?
Xander
Rekindled
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- Dec 20, 1999
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Thats beautiful Myst
Kitten Eyes. I've had several female friends who had the attraction to the rough and agressive men.
And I kid you not, every time it goes wrong for them I get this "Why cant more guys be like you"
Which of course boosts my ego, at least for a while.
You know, I've always been considered great friend material by the girls I've been attracted to. And I dont mind that at all, I'm flattered about it and quite a bit at that.
However, being in the "Friend Zone" and having feelings stronger than that....well. THAT ONE JUST PLAIN SUCKS!! Speaking from personal experience.
Kitten Eyes. I've had several female friends who had the attraction to the rough and agressive men.
And I kid you not, every time it goes wrong for them I get this "Why cant more guys be like you"
Which of course boosts my ego, at least for a while.
You know, I've always been considered great friend material by the girls I've been attracted to. And I dont mind that at all, I'm flattered about it and quite a bit at that.
However, being in the "Friend Zone" and having feelings stronger than that....well. THAT ONE JUST PLAIN SUCKS!! Speaking from personal experience.
cymbidia
unrepentant pervert
- Joined
- Mar 8, 2001
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- 8,786
Perhaps the "nice guys finish last" adage is an age-defined phenomenon, at least in part?
As we get a little older and more sure of who we are and what we seek, after we've had a few bad (or not-great) relationships, after we've gotten hurt and hurt a couple of people ourselves, our perceptions change as to what we actually seek in someone for the long haul.
Suddenly, "nice guys" (whatever unpleasant connotations that may have once had) don't look half bad. Those nice guys, IF they're still out there and available, begin to look pretty damn good along about the end of our college years. Into the beginning years of our careers, they're looking DAMN good. They're employed, they're respectable, they know about wine and where the good restaurants are, they know how to tip and where to get fresh lilies in February. They don't stand you up on dates and they don't forget your birthday. Geeze, your mother even likes them and begins to whisper to you about holding on to this one.
You "nice guys"? You'll get all you want and all you need in the end. Just wait it out and stay true to who you are and what you seek in a partner.
It'll all be okay.
Trust me. http://www.ihs4ever.com/~cwm/otn/happy/11zwinky.gif
As we get a little older and more sure of who we are and what we seek, after we've had a few bad (or not-great) relationships, after we've gotten hurt and hurt a couple of people ourselves, our perceptions change as to what we actually seek in someone for the long haul.
Suddenly, "nice guys" (whatever unpleasant connotations that may have once had) don't look half bad. Those nice guys, IF they're still out there and available, begin to look pretty damn good along about the end of our college years. Into the beginning years of our careers, they're looking DAMN good. They're employed, they're respectable, they know about wine and where the good restaurants are, they know how to tip and where to get fresh lilies in February. They don't stand you up on dates and they don't forget your birthday. Geeze, your mother even likes them and begins to whisper to you about holding on to this one.
You "nice guys"? You'll get all you want and all you need in the end. Just wait it out and stay true to who you are and what you seek in a partner.
It'll all be okay.
Trust me. http://www.ihs4ever.com/~cwm/otn/happy/11zwinky.gif
Silverlily
Kitty Mama - East Coast
- Joined
- Aug 9, 2000
- Posts
- 13,101
more definitions...
sorry Xander, I meant physical as in a mechanic, a carpenter, a man who isn't afraid to sweat and get his hands dirty.
I think the thrill of "living on the edge" may also have something to do with it. Fear can be something of an aphrodesiac.
Of course there is always the theory that stupid people outnumber the smart ones, which is why the assholes get all the dates. (After the last couple days at work, I'm leaning toward this one)
sorry Xander, I meant physical as in a mechanic, a carpenter, a man who isn't afraid to sweat and get his hands dirty.
I think the thrill of "living on the edge" may also have something to do with it. Fear can be something of an aphrodesiac.
Of course there is always the theory that stupid people outnumber the smart ones, which is why the assholes get all the dates. (After the last couple days at work, I'm leaning toward this one)
Xander
Rekindled
- Joined
- Dec 20, 1999
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Kitten Eyes
I can only use myself as an example, since I dont know the first thing about what others do.
Those who knows me, knows I've been living on the edge all my life. I'm the kinda guy that happily strapped a cord around me ankles and jumped off a bridge with a happy grin.
I was the one who choose to climb a mountain side with nothing but a rope around my waist. And I still take pleasure in jumping on a skateboard and dropping into a ramp, trying to do a McTwist (540 degree turn in the air for those who dont know)
I still fitted and suffered the nice guy syndrome.
Now back when I was 17 and was a prick to everybody, and a real bastard. I did get a lot of dates.
Is there something about teenage girls that gets drawn to us who were pricks??
As I got older and discarded that bastard I was. I got none.
I still live on the edge, and I still take chance and is not affraid to do so. I still have the nice guy label, and is still by many treated after it.
Granted it has gotten better through the years. but still.
I can only use myself as an example, since I dont know the first thing about what others do.
Those who knows me, knows I've been living on the edge all my life. I'm the kinda guy that happily strapped a cord around me ankles and jumped off a bridge with a happy grin.
I was the one who choose to climb a mountain side with nothing but a rope around my waist. And I still take pleasure in jumping on a skateboard and dropping into a ramp, trying to do a McTwist (540 degree turn in the air for those who dont know)
I still fitted and suffered the nice guy syndrome.
Now back when I was 17 and was a prick to everybody, and a real bastard. I did get a lot of dates.
Is there something about teenage girls that gets drawn to us who were pricks??
As I got older and discarded that bastard I was. I got none.
I still live on the edge, and I still take chance and is not affraid to do so. I still have the nice guy label, and is still by many treated after it.
Granted it has gotten better through the years. but still.
