Nighthawk: A Superhero Story (closed for Siobhancan99)

[siobhancan99]

"I'll ask her when we get back from break. I mean, it might be weird for her too." She ran her fingers along Gabi's side, brushing up and down. She held her in her arms "as for reporting crimes its just i think if she knows you're going to commit one. Are you a criminal mastermind baby? have you been the imperial this whole time?" She grinned "are you my arch nemesis?"

 

[Halcyon638]

Gabi nodded, though looking a little disappointed. “So…you’re, like, done now, right? Until after break?”

She smiled a bit at Monica teasing her, nuzzling the blonde girl’s neck. “Wouldn’t you like to know?” she teased back. “No, if anything, I’d be your Catwoman. Just committing crimes to give me an excuse to flirt with you in skintight leather.”

She kissed Monica fully on the mouth now, her warm right hand cupping Monica’s breast. It wasn’t too long, though, that they received an update from the group text:

HADLEY: Yeah, so…Dad’s in a coma. Sorry to bum everybody out but I’m getting a million texts asking how he is, and that’s how he is.

Everyone on the group thread including Gabi sent their condolences. Gabi followed it up in a group thread that included just her, Monica, and Hadley.

GABI: We’re still in the city. Would it help if we came by? Can we do anything??

HADLEY: Thank you for asking. I think it’s best if it’s just family right now. I really appreciate it, though. I’ll keep you posted.

Gabi sighed, eyes welling up a bit. "Poor Hadley. I can't even imagine how she's doing right now."

 

[siobhancan99]

Monica nodded "look, with the explosion and everything... I think the nighthawk can take off without people assuming it was from the semester ending. So yeah. I'm done. I have... you know. alien shit to handle. I have to go to canada and talk to that guy and so on but nothing dangerous. So we can just spend christmas together and have a few normal weeks at home with our families."

She sent along her condolences to Hadley, then kissed her girl softly "why don't you get our shit together? we can head back tomorrow with my dad."

 

[Halcyon638]

******

Monica sat at the table in the Mean Bean, saving one of the few open ones during the morning rush while Gabi placed their order with a handsome, long-haired barista. She dialed her father’s number, responding to the numerous texts he’d sent this morning. “Good morning, honey.” After a little catching up, he launched into it, “So, we may have a bit of a problem.”

The barista and Gabi laughed at something, then she took her place waiting for their orders. With each customer that opened the door, a blast of cold January air swept in. Even though it was a week before the semester started, the place was hopping. “There’s an encrypted signal coming in through the Beacon that I can’t recognize,” he said. “Firstly, I can’t identify who it’s coming from, which is concerning enough, but more importantly, I can’t read it or stop it.”

A few weeks, ago, her father had completed a device that allowed him to fix the Beacon to keep Thalmer’s superior off James’s back, but that enabled him to intercept and block signals, curtailing any attempts for the Totality higher-ups to call for Monica’s return. “I’ve tried a dozen fixes, and I’ll keep trying, but…I think it might be time for you to talk to Alex Sutter.”

A pic of Hadley and her father at a hockey game popped up in Monica’s feed. From what she’d heard, the detective was slowly improving but not likely to return to his old job any time soon—if ever--due to some lingering cognitive difficulties.

Gabi made her way over with their drinks and food. “Here you go, querida,” Gabi said. “That barista was flirting with me. Hard. Cristina said she’s running a little late, but she’ll be here soon.”

 

[siobhancan99]

Monica nodded "well you're fucking hot, corazon." She grinned and took her coffee, sipping at it "So I need to head to Canada. Probably tonight. I'll be gone a few days but its not dangerous at all. I have to talk to that Sutter guy and see if 1... he can help make sure my people never come here again and 2) maybe can figure out what some strange signal my dad is picking up is." She was both happy and sad for Knapp. Glad she could save him but wondering if it might not have been less cruel to let him die. The guilt had been eating at her, but she couldn't let that show. Gabi needed her to be strong. Unbreakable. So she bore it, stoicly. She owed it to the girl to keep it together and not show any weakness. "We could fly up instead of me taking the sliver. If you wanted to come. like. we could take conventional means. I don't know how exciting it'd be though so ..."

 

[Halcyon638]

Gabi smiled at the compliment. “You’re not so bad yourself, sexy.” She took a bite of the croissant and listened as Monica described her next task. “Aww…that’s tempting. Going anywhere with you sounds exciting. But I gotta open the pharmacy tomorrow morning and I don’t think I could manage a plane ticket right now.” She blew softly on her coffee. “Um…speaking of…that kind of stuff…do you think you might be able to…talk to Melanie soon?”

Cristina walked in. The tall Latina waved to them then made her way over where Gabi had a dirty chai waiting for her. “Still warm!” Gabi noted.

“Thanks! It’s brutal out there,” she said, her voice notably higher in pitch as she was farther along in transitioning.

 

[siobhancan99]

"yeah I'll head over to her office today. I'll see what I can get set up for you. No promises but I'll try." She reached over and squeezed her girl's hand, then nodded to Christina. "well hey there." she sat back and took a bite of her croissant "It is cold as fuck out there." She sipped at her coffee "ready for class to start again?"

 

[Halcyon638]

“Thank you, baby,” Gabi said.

“Oh, absolutely not,” Cristina said, smiling as she sat down. “I’m still in ‘lounging in bed, scrolling til noon’ mode. You?” She caught Gabi up on a little gossip about petty in-fighting within the LSA, then turned to Monica. “You know what I’m going to ask. Can I put you down for 2 hours of tutoring this semester?”

Gabi grinned a bit, draping an arm across Monica. “She’d be great, but she’s got a lot going on right now,” she noted, "don't you, querida?"

The three of them spent some more time catching up, until Cristina had to get herself to yoga and be on her way.

 

[siobhancan99]

"thanks for covering for me. I'm going to try to be out less but yeah." she covered Gabi's hand with hers, squeezing it "why don't I head over and see if I can catch Melanie. her office hours say she's gonna be there in a few." She kissed Gabi softly, then made her exit, heading through the brutal winter winds to the psych building, wrestling with the door a moment before slipping in to the nearly empty space and making her way to Mel's door.

 

[Halcyon638]

After knocking, Monica heard the professor call, “Come in,” a bit surprised, as if she wasn’t expecting anyone this soon before the semester started. She looked as composed and assured as she had at the start of the previous semester, a far cry from the last glimpses Monica had had of the older woman. Her long red hair was spilling over the shoulders of a light purple sweater, her glasses on the desk in front of her. “Monica,” she said, so many sentiments seemingly packed into the three syllables she’d just uttered—surprise, joy, wistfulness, pain, and no doubt more. “Hello. How are you?”

 

[siobhancan99]

Fuck. She was still as beautiful as ever. That part of Monica that sort of longed for a wicked older lady to teach her all the kinky things a girl can do to another still felt a little stir but she tamped that down right quick. She was here for Gabi not to blow up her relationship "I've... been. Its been an interesting few months. Dunno how much you might have picked up on what's been going on since you left." She looked around "how are you holding up?"

 

[Halcyon638]

Melanie nodded, motioning to the chair on the other side of her desk. “I’ve been trying to disconnect, mainly, but…it’s hard not to keep up with things.” The professor managed a smile. “Doing okay, thank you. Stepping away was the right move for me. I’ve been working with a great therapist, spending time with my sister and my nephew, and…I’m…excited to be back. You can close the door. Unless you’d feel more…comfortable with it open.” As if in response, they heard someone coughing passing down the hallway.

“We never really talked about…it’s been a busy few months for you, hasn’t it been?”

 

[siobhancan99]

Monica shut the door "it has. Its been a very busy few months." She sat and looked across the desk at Melanie "so. I mean. I assumed you figured it out. How I knew what was going on when i wasn't there. You're an intelligent woman." Monica pulled her leg up and rested her chin on her knee "So yeah. you uh. you know its been active. In my " she trailed off "my coping mechanism."

 

[Halcyon638]

A sympathetic look crossed Melanie’s face. “Okay. And how has this…coping mechanism been affecting the rest of your life?” she said, tilting her head slightly. “Your classes, your relationships, your health…” Her phone chimed, and she quickly silenced it, placing it face down.

 

[siobhancan99]

Monica made a so-so gesture with her hand "mixed." She looked out the window "My friend got hurt because he knows me. I'd stop but I can't stop. not because I need to keep going but because." she paused "Because when I started this it was dumb kids with guns and shit. But now its freaks and science experiments. None of you can do what I can do. And so far nobody who can do what I can do that's shown up has had any inclination to do anything other than evil. I can do all these amazing things but its a fucking cross I bear now. I can't ever stop being her and just be me. And. Its fucking with Gabi. She has nobody to talk to because for their own safety nobody can know. So only the three of us and my dad. Oh and a guy from home. He knows. He uh. He can do shit too but he's a douchebag and he wouldn't so. Still leaves just me and leaves her nobody to share the burden of knowing with."

 

[Halcyon638]

Melanie took a breath. “That sounds like a lot, Monica. It’s a lot to unpack, certainly.” She strategically nudged a box of Kleenex toward the younger woman. "First of all…your friend…if I know who you’re referring to…he does a dangerous job with a certain level of risk involved, and from what it sounds like, he was more than capable of making powerful enemies on his own. You can’t hold yourself responsible for the horrible things that happened to him. If I were to help someone report that her partner was abusing her and her partner retaliated against her by hurting the kids, we wouldn’t blame her. I wouldn’t blame myself, though I’d of course feel angry and sad that it happened. Doing the right thing is almost never easy.”

She placed an elbow on her desk and held her chin for a moment. “Gabi is…?” A flicker of realization appeared in her eyes. “I think we should return to your other statement—you not being able to stop—but…she’s the reason you’re here, isn’t she?” Her tone was soft, understanding. “Do you think she would…want to talk to me?”

 

[siobhancan99]

"I can't help her." She looked out the window still "I can do all these things but I'll never understand her perspective. I'll never be the one at home waiting and wondering. Not ever again." She turned back to Mel "even if something happened to her, I'd be out looking. i'd be out turning over cars and tearing through the night. I wouldn't have time to wallow. That's not an indictment of her. We all have our parts to play. I just can't fathom what its like to be her. I can't empathize with her. I will always be" she frowned "I'll always be the one that's being worried about. It might not be fair of me to ask you two to talk. But I'm flailing here. I'm 19 I'm supposed to be drinking warm beer out of red cups not planning for the mental health of a woman who is only in pain because I am who I am."

 

[Halcyon638]

Melanie reached across the desk, extending her hand, then hesitated before touching Monica’s. “Sometimes, the best thing a person can do for someone is to recognize their own limits. We often have this expectation that our partners are supposed to fulfill every need for us—be our best friends, our lovers, our support networks, all in one person—but it’s not a realistic expectation to place on yourself. Or anyone.”

A slight smile appeared on her lips again. “It’s obvious that you really care for her. Please let Gabi know I’d be happy to meet with her. I’m certainly happy to meet with her alone, with the two of you…whatever she feels most comfortable with. And your secrets…both of your secrets…are safe with me. I did…want to ask you about what you said before. You feel like you’re the only one who can do what you do. And…certainly, that seems true on some level. But…just because you can…why do you feel that makes you obligated to? Aren’t you also a 19-year-old young woman?”

 

[siobhancan99]

"it seems true because it is true. Everyone else who can do what I do is fucked up. I guess I am too. I just am fucked up in the right way to maybe help other people." She swallowed, letting Mel's hand stay in place. She looked down "The girl who got to be normal died with Tom." She could feel her chest tighten, throat constrict. "And I mourn her as much or more as I mourn him. But. I'm not allowed self pity."

At every turn, before her mother left, that was a lesson drilled into her. self pity was just a form of self-indulgence. It was wanton, wasteful. Failure was tolerable. "Failure." She inhaled and exhaled "Is a time for reflection, not wallowing. It is a thing that we study, so we do not fail again. It is an opportunity for growth." Unspoken was her mother's admonition that wallowing was for the low-caste. "I failed Tom. I should have been here. But more to the point, I legitimately am the only one. Ultimately, if I don't tackle these problems, some enterprising company will make a weapon that does tackle them. And then another will make a defense against that weapon. and then so on and so forth. In the meantime, how many cops die? how many victims? If it were just street crime I could quit. I could say I did my part."

 

[Halcyon638]

Melanie kept her hand in place as Monica spoke. “I understand why you feel that way,” Melanie noted. “That it’s all on you. And…you certainly make some logical points about your…unique circumstances and the situation. But you need to give yourself some permission to experience some happiness. Some relaxation. You’re not going to be useful to anybody if you burn out by the time you’re 21. You’ve heard of the plane crash and oxygen mask analogy—you need to be prioritize putting on your mask first before helping anyone else, or else you won’t be able to.”

The professor pulled her hand back now and folded both neatly on the desk in front of her. “Here’s what I’ll ask of you in return for meeting with Gabi: first, I want you to take one night during the week where you disconnect completely—no phone, no laptop—at least past a certain hour of the night. That should just be for you. And…I’d like you to see me again—to talk,” she quickly clarified, “at least every two weeks? As I said, if Gabi wants you along, you can come when we meet, but I think you need a separate space as well. What do you think?”

 

[siobhancan99]

"I can do that. And yeah. I probably need someone to talk to too. I have this messiah complex and some mommy issues to work out." she smirks "plus i deflect using humor. Really I just kinda suck all around." She got up "And I'll come see you every week. I appreciate you letting Gabi come talk to you. She really ... she could use the outlet." She inhaled and exhaled "now, not to feed my messiah complex or anything but I legit actually have to go save the world. This was more important though."

 

[Halcyon638]

Melanie’s expression was neutral as Monica wrapped up. “Ah, negative self-talk, my old friend,” she said with a wry smile. “I’m very glad to hear that, Monica. Please let Gabi know I’m looking forward to talking with her and feel free to give her my phone number and email so we can set something up.” She walked to the door with Monica. “Do I want to know?” she said at the reference to saving the world. “Or do I just want to be able to shut my brain off while I watch television? Please be careful out there. And bundle up.”

 

[siobhancan99]

"Don't worry doc. Just my self absorption" It wasn't though. She'd gone over the options a ton of times, and flying the sliver to Canada might attract the wrong kind of attention. Still, without much choice she took off, flying just above the treeline and keeping her route fairly rural. The worst she'd have to contend with that way was a redneck shooting her out of the sky. She played podcasts, as the sliver wasn't exactly a 747 in terms of its speed, and the trip to canada wasn't a few hours, but half the damn day. She didn't dare get to close to the eccentric millionaire's house, either, as he was likely to have air defenses if he was a paranoid Centauri recluse. She landed in a nearby town, late in the evening, then made her way cross country towards the man's ferry. he lived on an island, and she prayed that there was a boat waiting for her to take across. It occurred to her that she might be able to walk across it if was frozen, but that was a risk. She was hopeful the water was liquid and there was a boat, otherwise she'd have to take a very careful trip across the ice.

 

[Halcyon638]

As Monica crept to the icy coastline, she spotted a mid-sized white boat bobbing in the waters attached to a dock that was down a 200-foot path from a quaint little home. The wind coming off the water was particularly brutal. Off in the distance, she could see the lights of what appeared to be a single large structure on the island.

 

[siobhancan99]

Creeping down to the shore she unmoored the boat and slipped into it. She rowed across the lake, shivering from the cold Canadian winter wind. She moved swiftly, mostly to try to keep some semblance of warmth together "wonder if this is why superheroes wear capes." she muttered.

Hitting the beach she pulled the boat up onto the land, then made her way up carefully to the large structure.