Nineteen-Year-Old Ramblings

[TheEarl]

Too true, but neither do I want to sleep with anyone else who isn't old enough to understand that an ancient relic like me actually needs sleep and does not use the word as a euphemism for other activities.

Helen of Troy is just about old enough. Cleopatra is a thousand or so years too young.

Og

You need sleep. Yet you're posting at 12.25am.

I know, I'm a hypocrite.

The Earl

 

[Kate.E]

I never intended to post anything serious, so please accept my apologies in advance - but saying as I read what the thread is about, I thought I may as well say sumthin.

Brightly, I do empathise with you, but at the same time, I don’t think it is healthy to over-analyse a cyber-interface forum-thingy. And it is way too easy to misinterpret tone in these situations.
I think everyone here at some point has felt like they are the only one different and the world doesn't understand. Most people have felt they are in a minority group (or are), have felt alienated because they are creative, intelligent, young, black ... whichever. But forums such as this tend to have a community spirit as they all relate and have things in common, so I’d urge you to use that as a positive rather than a negative. I posted here once every blue moon until yesterday – I’ve found the people on here have no ‘who is this newcomer?’ attitude and are friendly (so far). If people ignore you or dislike you for the wrong reasons - it is them who are missing out, not you. I really don't think that people are ageist here - that's the very least of everyone's worries!!
I hold the dyslexic lesbian card, so I feel quite safe.

 

[brightlyiburn]

So you feel ignored?

It happens to all of us. We post to a thread and it dies. Was it me? Was it something I said or did? Have I upset someone? We try to rationalise but there is no real reason that some posts get answered and some get ignored.

Perhaps the people who would have acknowledged or replied are not around at the time I posted and the thread inexorably slips down and off the first page while I worry that I wrote something wrong.

Threads and posts either attract someone to respond or they don't. They live for a while and then die until someone resurrects them two years later and you are slapped in the face by your two-year-old opinions.

I and everyone else here has to recognise that not everything we write in the AH is going to get the response we want or any response at all. It doesn't matter in the overall scheme of Literotica. With posts you either catch the mood of the moment or you don't.

What is more important is how your stories are regarded. Look at my list of stories. Count the percentage of Hs. Look at your own. Count your percentage. Your ratings may fluctuate. The trolls may strike from time to time and their work is swept away. It doesn't matter - whenever you look you will have far more H rated stories than I have. That is the true measure of how your work is regarded on Literotica.

The only indication of your youth, apart from your own mentions of it, is that you cannot see that you are already one of the most successful writers on Literotica. Believe in yourself and the other things that worry you will be in perspective.

Og

You know, I really wanted to say something profround and thoughtful to thank you for your comments, but my mind is a total blank.
Apparently video games DO rot your brain.
I'll try again in the morning.

 

[Guest]

 

[oggbashan]

...I'm new here too, brightly, and it's not about age, it's about slowly getting to know people and reaching out so they reach back.

And sometimes just accepting that however old and experienced you are - sometimes you will be ignored just like the young beginners (and everyone else).

Og

 

[maggot420]

And sometimes just accepting that however old and experienced you are - sometimes you will be ignored just like the young beginners (and everyone else).

Og

At first it troubled me that I was ignored so I tried to get noticed and then I revelled in my ignominy but now I've come to realize that ignorance truly is bliss.

It's safer when no one notices you. The higher up on the food chain you are, the bigger a meal you are.

 

[brightlyiburn]

It's safer when no one notices you. The higher up on the food chain you are, the bigger a meal you are.

Some meals will give you indigestion, you know.

 

[maggot420]

Some meals will give you indigestion, you know.

But those ones always taste the best

 

[Guest]

 

[SlickTony]

You know, sometimes you just got to get something off your chest. And I do.
I feel like I'm invisible. Since the polls went up, no one has so much as acknowledged my presence.
For most of my life, I've felt like a ghost. There's never been one place that I actually fit in. I would have thought that here, with other writers, I would fit in. But I don't. There's always someone or something to remind me that I'm young and I'm new here. That's two strikes against me that shouldn't be. I would think the people here would like to encourage the young and the new, but honestly, that's not what I see. It seems to me as though the real support is thrown behind the people who have been here longest.
If there was one thing I didn't expect when I began posting my stories online, it was that people wouldn't like them simply because I'm only nineteen. At my age, having talent should be a gift, but it feels like a burden.
I didn't come to Literotica to win contests. I didn't even realize there was contests until I won one. I came here to write. And when I was asked to come to the AH, I thought it was because I, like all of you, am a writer. But unlike all of you, when I'm here, I'm 19 first, then a writer.
And it isn't just that I'm 19. I'm also competition. I can understand why it might rankle to have someone half your age as competition, but that doesn't make it right. That doesn't make it right to disregard the fact that I too am a writer.
I'm seriously considering contacting Laurel and having her take my name out of the polls. I don't want to deal with this. I don't want to be better than anyone else. I don't want to win awards. All I want is to write my stories and share them with other people.
Maybe I'm just being 19. But then, I am. My mom says that because of my Aspergers, people don't often see the side of me that's human. Maybe she's right. But I am human and I do get hurt. People might say I shouldn't let it bother me, but this is where I'm supposed to belong, and I don't. That does bother me. It bothers me that I don't get any respect for my work because of my age.
That's just how I feel. And sometimes you have to say how you feel. If nothing else, at least I feel better having said it.

Brightly, my apologies for not having given you a personal welcome. I pop in and out of here all the time, and have seen many people come and go, and enjoy conversing with them if they've said something that caught my attention. So you're an Asperger person. You're not the only one. There are others. I myself don't come here to compete with people; I don't think I have entered one single competition, per se since I came here. I just like having a place to put my stories. I wish there'd been a place like this to come to when I was 19. (And I didn't know from Asperger's then, either). Don't go away on our account. If you're interested in writing, and interested in erotic, then of course you belong here.

 

[moonlight elf]

Hello Brightly!!!

I came across you sometime back when you first ventured into the AH....if memory serves right I welcomed you twice in two different threads and mentioned how much I enjoyed your writings(don't think you noticed me though).

I don't come here very often and these days I'm busy with work and school and trying to get into Grad school. I don't always look at the new threads and often just go to my subscribed threads. I'm sorry if I've missed any of your posts.

I'm one of the young ones here as well and I think age doesn't really matter. One can be old and gray but young at heart, one can be young in age but mature in behavior. What matters is how you feel about yourself....never let fear of other's opinions get you down. Be yourself

I have found the AH to be very welcoming and friendly. There are some wonderful people here. Take your time, you will come to know them and they will come to know you.

hugs
Moonlight

 

[CharleyH]

You know, sometimes you just got to get something off your chest. And I do.
I feel like I'm invisible. Since the polls went up, no one has so much as acknowledged my presence.
For most of my life, I've felt like a ghost. There's never been one place that I actually fit in. I would have thought that here, with other writers, I would fit in. But I don't. There's always someone or something to remind me that I'm young and I'm new here. That's two strikes against me that shouldn't be. I would think the people here would like to encourage the young and the new, but honestly, that's not what I see. It seems to me as though the real support is thrown behind the people who have been here longest.
If there was one thing I didn't expect when I began posting my stories online, it was that people wouldn't like them simply because I'm only nineteen. At my age, having talent should be a gift, but it feels like a burden.
I didn't come to Literotica to win contests. I didn't even realize there was contests until I won one. I came here to write. And when I was asked to come to the AH, I thought it was because I, like all of you, am a writer. But unlike all of you, when I'm here, I'm 19 first, then a writer.
And it isn't just that I'm 19. I'm also competition. I can understand why it might rankle to have someone half your age as competition, but that doesn't make it right. That doesn't make it right to disregard the fact that I too am a writer.
I'm seriously considering contacting Laurel and having her take my name out of the polls. I don't want to deal with this. I don't want to be better than anyone else. I don't want to win awards. All I want is to write my stories and share them with other people.
Maybe I'm just being 19. But then, I am. My mom says that because of my Aspergers, people don't often see the side of me that's human. Maybe she's right. But I am human and I do get hurt. People might say I shouldn't let it bother me, but this is where I'm supposed to belong, and I don't. That does bother me. It bothers me that I don't get any respect for my work because of my age.
That's just how I feel. And sometimes you have to say how you feel. If nothing else, at least I feel better having said it.

BIB, well I am the harsh Reality Reaper, I have always responded to you with the utmost reapect on serious threads, poetry or elsewhere, and based on what you responded here, I feel compelled. I find this thread is what you make it, and what your complaint is a: "19 year old rambling" and it is a dichotomy, contradiction (which I am never beyond) but I do take issue to some degree.

Like the thread title, you promote yourself as 19, and if you feel you are treated that way, then it is your doing. We must take responsibility for our actions. I do not feel sorry for you or empathise like others. Why? Because when I was a 19 year old, I never had too. I was myself, as I am now, in the glory of who I am, good or bad. I like kind words, we all do, however as you articulate, you seem searching for them. . . not like me at 19, or younger., or older. I simply like them, and I do not search. You should be treated which way? You say we should kudo your talent at 19. Well, sorry, but we should kudo talent at any age.

Too many people here do not have an outlet. They are tied and bound, but let go, here. What my love, makes you more special than any? Because you are 19? WE EARN every second of our life, and every thought, and every treatment toward us in life or/and in writing. Whether you are 19 or 89 makes not an iota of difference unless you point it out. But you do, why?.

I was brilliant at 12 - 14 - 16 - 18- 21- 24, whatever, who cares, misunderstood, and still am. So what. It is the way of life. The difference is being happy in self, pride in knowing, and not complaining. Take strength my love . . . it is the high ground, though we all lapse, that is the way you would rather go.