November Poetry Challenge: "where I find myself"—a same title challenge

[butters]

Hello, peeps

We've had some fun with 'same title' challenges before, so do what you do best and explore parameters and lenses. This can refer to a physical place, but please feel free to explore time-lines, the physical or meta-physical, the senses, people, the arts... whatever moves you to think this is "where i find myself"

The only requirements are a) same title and b) no longer than 60 lines as a preference.

As with Angeline's great challenge, all comments welcome in the same thread.

If anyone would like to receive critique or feedback/suggestions on their poems, please indicate that at the foot of your post so as those who might consider giving it don't offend those who don't want it.

Looking forward to reading your creations,
butters
x

 

[Angeline]

Where I Find Myself

Home it's said is a place
where they have to take you
in when there's nowhere else
to go. This only holds true
if there's a "they" left behind.

Still, I searched online.
(It's a blessing...or curse...
of modern life to find anything
a few clicks away)

and there it stood, my childhood

home looking sad, decades
having shrunk the front yard,
the towering dogwood gone,
and the once bright lawn,
Daddy's pride and joy,
scrubby, patchy, yellowed.

The side patio
where I mastered roller skates
looks strewn with trash
and the green bench
with its climbing rose trellis,
once my haven, is also no more.

I see it last sold for $50,000
which means it has fallen
from our proud working-class
achievement, our step up
the ladder of American Dreams.

But if I close my eyes, concentrate
I'll hear my sister's voice,
my mother's laugh, sheets
flapping on the line,
La Traviata drifting
from behind the kitchen
window screen.

 

[MrMrsMrsMr]

Where I find myself

indecision, In decision, indecision
real life is a slow download, the
kids are growing. Sure I should
tell them more about it, I’m just
not sure anymore what about?

 

[XShadynzX]

Where I find myself

Tossing and turning
Should I, could I,sleep?
thoughts float around
and keep me awake
I find myself here nightly
since you went away

Why must the tears flow?
why must they curse me so?
I find myself thinking
of how it used to be
and why it should never be again
I tell myself the reasons why
Knowing them full well

Tossing and turning
Should I, could I, wake
and find you here once more?
But no, you will not be
And I will find myself
as before, here,
Alone

 

[MrMrsMrsMr]

Where I find myself

No longer wanting to be,
the open holes of your socks,
the warm body in your tops,
the zip found down on my knees,
I find myself wanting to be
the hole in the ring on your finger.

 

[Remec]

Where I Find Myself

I look about the place,
nothing really new
about it, other than weekly
reading material and the dust settling
upon it as plans for sorting and
taking proper care never works out.

 

[UsuallyPresent]

Where I Find Myself

In the beginning I found
There was nothing to find
A heap of dirt, a pile, a mound
Instead of an insightful mind

Instead of an insightful mind
I stumbled through the days
There was nothing left to find
Within my thick mental haze

Within my mental haze
I struggled to dig my way clear
I stumbled through the days
Uncertain, confused, full of fear

Uncertain, confused, full of fear
Ever since the beginning I found
This surreality ever left me near
A heap of dirt, a pile, a mound



(comments/critique welcome)

 

[Lazaran]

Where I Find Myself

I find myself
where I’m at
meet myself
where I’m at
see myself
where I’m at
accept myself
where I’m at
love myself
where I’m at
I found myself
where I’m at.

 

[Ash999]

Where I find myself....
------------xx----------------
I find myself poised on a point...
A singularity, perhaps...
In Space....and Eternity....
Moving....moving....where I do not know
Surrounded by Sounds....and Shapes....
Fragrances......Colors.....Memories....
Fantasies......Hopes....Fears....
Happiness .......Sorrows...
Who created me??
Why???
Who created this Universe???
Why??
I do not know....
But I thirst for Self knowledge......
That is all I know.....

 

[Tzara]

Where I Find Myself

Because I'm so often lost
I usually tend to look
in those few spaces
where I feel most comfortable,
like bookstores and record shops,
places I can kind of hide
behind a copy of Wittgenstein
or Kenneth Koch or scan
the track list of some obscure
60s psychedelic rock band
who had one local hit
in Aberdeen, Washington
that I caught on the radio
when I was driving through
on my way to the beach.
It's like having a private
friend named Roky or Lew
or meeting a girl like Jane
who is shy but clever
to just the right degree
so that I feel we relate
in a nonthreatening way,
where I'm not just the quiet
boy in the back row
who finishes the exam early
before heading to the library
to check whether Freud actually
did say that line about cigars
(which, of course, he did not).

 

[Lazaran]

Where I find Myself

I find myself
in an America
I hoped wasn’t
but I feared was
fears now realized
I hope for the future
to someday find myself
in an America that never was

 

[Ambient4190]

where I find myself


perusing boots
the warmest kind
hiking riding winter
snow

sinful number of
pair now owned
wearied memories
cold small feet
drive unconquered fear

hmm
which style to
buy this year

 

[butters]

where i find myself

most often
is where i left myself—
under the skies
amidst trees and grasses
birdwings and the ripe scent of turned earth
all senses engaged
humility, delight, peace, balance
knowing words will flock to roost as the sun falls
and i find myself again
in his arms

 

[4degrees]

WIFM

Here and there, are
small bits of what
i used to recognize
someone likes puzzles
but those pieces stopped
fitting together
i'm in the air and
on the ground and
under water all at once
burning and drowning
the sensation of falling
where are your arms
where is my catch all
for one minute or
maybe it was a year
you made me feel like
king of nowhere but
ohh i loved it so

 

[NeonSubtlety]

Where I find Myself

it’s the grit and the smell of sawdust,
the smell of feshly-cut oak,
the chest freezer in the corner,
doors open at twilight and fluorescent
spraying from pop’s workshop
like a flashlight under bottom-bunk blankets.

it seems like everything there can cut.

screws, nails, and his table saw,
steel and iron affixed to hard levers,
his elbows perched at perpendiculars,
studying angles to leave them sharp.
fingernails that were rusting over
and a jaw like wood and metal.

i am my father’s son.

i’ve surrounded myself with corners,
with an empty workspace,
with twilights devoid of company,
with grit and gasoline,
and a private place to die alone.

 

[vagrantx]

where i find myself

once i bore the title of demagogue
with song and sermon crafted i a dream
yet now i'm nothing but a broken cog
worn down to naught inside this great machine

heavily lay the cape of acumen
an iron anchor wrought with blackest guilt
future plans they now decree inhuman
ruins are all that's left of what i've built

so don't you dare to throw me out you shite
call off your dogs and serve me one more time
a paying customer is always right
bring forth a beer and add a slice of lime

the sidewalk's cool against my swollen cheek
god, this has been a shitty fucking week

woke up at 3 am and felt a sudden urge to write a sonnet. that was a novel experience. would love any and all feedback on flow and feel.

 

[butters]

woke up at 3 am and felt a sudden urge to write a sonnet. that was a novel experience. would love any and all feedback on flow and feel.

I have a few comments to make on several pieces, but it won't be for a couple of days yet... been virusized and getting all the T.G stuff done as I'm recovering is a bit of a slog this year. "I'll be backkkkkkkkkk"