Ode to BDSM Failure

[eastern sun]

After admitting a few of my current failings on this here thread, I spent the next two days offline, reading the newspaper, and timing dinner perfectly.

Then I forgot to pick up his drycleaning.

 

[Homburg]

After admitting a few of my current failings on this here thread, I spent the next two days offline, reading the newspaper, and timing dinner perfectly.

Then I forgot to pick up his drycleaning.

*snort*

I shouldn't laugh, but that presentation was humourous.

 

[midwestyankee]

After admitting a few of my current failings on this here thread, I spent the next two days offline, reading the newspaper, and timing dinner perfectly.

Then I forgot to pick up his drycleaning.

Good timing.

 

[Bandit58]

The time He wanted me to take 5 strokes of a thick leather strap I took two - the second one totally took my breath away, I couldn't even scream but I must have made some kind of distress noise because He stopped. I felt like a failure then - but that strap is a bitch!

I keep asking Him what He wants for dinner, instead of just cooking something and putting it in front of Him. He doesn't want to be bothered with little decisions From now on I'm going to say, "I'm cooking such and such for dinner, is that ok?"

I have been forgetful too, glad I'm not the only one! Sometimes I forget to make Him a bigger cup of tea than He usually has (when His fluid intake has been lower than usual He rewards Himself with a small mug instead of a tiny cup). I'm so used to making the smaller one, that I forget when He's told me He wants the bigger one (usually it's been an hour or two since He's told me though!) (I blame menopause! )

 

[Homburg]

I keep asking Him what He wants for dinner, instead of just cooking something and putting it in front of Him. He doesn't want to be bothered with little decisions From now on I'm going to say, "I'm cooking such and such for dinner, is that ok?"

I have no interest in that sort of thing either. viv finally got the point where she just provides a menu for the week (for dinner), or she just cooks whatever. She knows my preferences well, and asks before she cooks things that I'm iffy on. It works out, as I get to see what is coming up and can veto anything I'm not in the mood for.

Then she cooks something else because she forgot to get a certain ingredient, or fails to set aside enough time. *sigh*

 

[lilylicious]

I was playing with a prospective male sub online one day who enjoyed/hated feminization. I sent him to the store to buy red lace panties, come home, put them on, take a picture of his hard cock in the red lace panties and then send it to me. I gave him a very generous 90 minutes to complete the task and email me the photo.

90 minutes was marked with a not so happy IM from me. A few days went by and I decide he'd just chickened out.

A week later I get an IM from long lost Panty Boy.

He'd had a car accident on the way to buy the panties.

Luckily he was ok. It took him a while to recover from what he admitted was his 4th concussion and his car was pretty messed up. No, the accident was NOT his fault.

Well, I guess if he'd been "distracted" and had caused the accident that would be partially MY fault, huh? LOL

Needless to say, red lace panties were not purchased. My poor Panty Boy said, "Miss, please take me shopping next time."

I love it when they beg.

 

[Harmony_1985]

I have been forgetful too, glad I'm not the only one! Sometimes I forget to make Him a bigger cup of tea than He usually has (when His fluid intake has been lower than usual He rewards Himself with a small mug instead of a tiny cup). I'm so used to making the smaller one, that I forget when He's told me He wants the bigger one (usually it's been an hour or two since He's told me though!) (I blame menopause! )

I can't use the menopause as an excuse for my forgetfulness!

I'm just a ditz

 

[the_mgp]

vomit

 

[00Syd]

I like this thread.. let's see what I've got:



2. Forgetfulness. M will ask me to do something and sometimes I just forget and he comes down on me like a sack of shit I hate it when that happens.

I feel you with this in a big way. Try writing things down, I've been having some tepid success with that method.

 

[VelvetDarkness]

My most recent spectaular failure

I was making a tuna pasta bake for Master's dinner and my hand slipped so that there was far too much pasta in it. 'Ok' I thought, I'll go to the corner shop, get another jar of pastabake sauce and make a big batch that he can take to work for lunch (I'm vegan so we don't really eat the same food)

I go to the shop and there's no more of the same pasta sauce, so I get a similar brand and go home to mix it into the pot. I mis-read the instructions, which said bake for 20min, stir and bake for a further 20 so after the first 20 I'm stirring this pasta and looking perplexed because it's not ready and he's due home. I put it back in the oven, forgetting to put cheese on the top.

Master arrives home, points out that his dinner is only half cooked and reads me the correct instructions. He puts cheese on top of the pasta (while grumbling at my incompetence and swatting my ass at every opportunity) and then pulls leftovers out of the fridge from yesterday, which he throws in the microwave.

All that bloody hassle and he had a dinner sat in the fridge already, which I had forgotten about completely.

Good thing I'm a skilled cocksucker is all I can say.

 

[rosco rathbone]

Good thing I'm a skilled cocksucker is all I can say.

Ah, the old "conciliatory blowjob".

Covers a multitude of sins.

 

[rida]

I could not lick up Hubby's cum.
The taste on my tongue made me gag big time.
He didn't get upset as it was mostly an offer for my own amusement.

*sigh*

 

[kinkyknickers]

Damn.. it almost worked Thanks for trying all the same Netzach

Babe, I don't think you failed at being a domme.. personally I thought you were rather good at it, you got this gleam thing in your eye and you were all rough and pushy, I liked it It just wasn't for you, is all. That doesn't count as a fail to me. IMO failure would have been a complete refusal to even give it a try.

I like this thread.. let's see what I've got:

1. My house constantly looks like it's been hit by a ten tonne mess bomb. I fail at subly domestic duties in a big way

2. Forgetfulness. M will ask me to do something and sometimes I just forget and he comes down on me like a sack of shit I hate it when that happens.

3. Failure to communicate with my girlfriend! I have a bad habit of bottling things up that are bothering me. Also, I need to learn to talk to her as an equal and not as a top. It's just not something I'm used to doing in a relationship. But I'm working on it

Bad sub .
Try harder!

 

[kinkyknickers]

:caning: Hehe

 

[BiBunny]

I was so proud of myself. I gave him everything he needed. I made it through several torture and humiliation sessions. (I've become kinda chicken-hearted, since it's been awhile since I've done this kinda thing.) I didn't fight it at all, even having my pussy caned--hard to do, by the way. I gave him a massage when we'd finished, and we finally just laid there in bed, snuggling and watching TV. Perfect, huh?

I was lying on my stomach, and he was kinda lying on top of me, pinning me down. I'm deathly ticklish, so he started tickling me to be a pain in the ass. I struggled a bit and tried to turn over to face him. I got about halfway out from under him and tried to roll over. My elbow connected with his face. My eyes widened, and I attempted to squeak out an apology. He jumped up and ran to the bathroom.

When he returned, I asked if he was ok. "Yeah, I'm fine," he said. "Not the first time I've had my nose bloodied."

Oh, dear God. I wanted to die. I must've apologized a thousand times. He thought it was funny, but all I could think was "I was such a good slave today...up until I fucking bloodied my Master's nose!"

 

[VelvetDarkness]

I was so proud of myself. I gave him everything he needed. I made it through several torture and humiliation sessions. (I've become kinda chicken-hearted, since it's been awhile since I've done this kinda thing.) I didn't fight it at all, even having my pussy caned--hard to do, by the way. I gave him a massage when we'd finished, and we finally just laid there in bed, snuggling and watching TV. Perfect, huh?

I was lying on my stomach, and he was kinda lying on top of me, pinning me down. I'm deathly ticklish, so he started tickling me to be a pain in the ass. I struggled a bit and tried to turn over to face him. I got about halfway out from under him and tried to roll over. My elbow connected with his face. My eyes widened, and I attempted to squeak out an apology. He jumped up and ran to the bathroom.

When he returned, I asked if he was ok. "Yeah, I'm fine," he said. "Not the first time I've had my nose bloodied."

Oh, dear God. I wanted to die. I must've apologized a thousand times. He thought it was funny, but all I could think was "I was such a good slave today...up until I fucking bloodied my Master's nose!"

Done that.

I am insanely ticklish and Master uses it as entertainment and a torture device. I accept no responsibility of any description for kicking his ass on reflex while being pinned and tickled. I have managed to knee him in the balls on more than one occasion and it wasn't intentional.

To compound the failure, I have precious little sympathy for the bastard too.

 

[Homburg]

Oh, dear God. I wanted to die. I must've apologized a thousand times. He thought it was funny, but all I could think was "I was such a good slave today...up until I fucking bloodied my Master's nose!"

Been kicked in the jibblies, smacked in the head, elbowed, hell kicked to the face, etc. It happens.

 

[Harmony_1985]

I was so proud of myself. I gave him everything he needed. I made it through several torture and humiliation sessions. (I've become kinda chicken-hearted, since it's been awhile since I've done this kinda thing.) I didn't fight it at all, even having my pussy caned--hard to do, by the way. I gave him a massage when we'd finished, and we finally just laid there in bed, snuggling and watching TV. Perfect, huh?

I was lying on my stomach, and he was kinda lying on top of me, pinning me down. I'm deathly ticklish, so he started tickling me to be a pain in the ass. I struggled a bit and tried to turn over to face him. I got about halfway out from under him and tried to roll over. My elbow connected with his face. My eyes widened, and I attempted to squeak out an apology. He jumped up and ran to the bathroom.

When he returned, I asked if he was ok. "Yeah, I'm fine," he said. "Not the first time I've had my nose bloodied."

Oh, dear God. I wanted to die. I must've apologized a thousand times. He thought it was funny, but all I could think was "I was such a good slave today...up until I fucking bloodied my Master's nose!"

Is it REALLY bad that I just laughed quite hard at this??

 

[Netzach]

I was so proud of myself. I gave him everything he needed. I made it through several torture and humiliation sessions. (I've become kinda chicken-hearted, since it's been awhile since I've done this kinda thing.) I didn't fight it at all, even having my pussy caned--hard to do, by the way. I gave him a massage when we'd finished, and we finally just laid there in bed, snuggling and watching TV. Perfect, huh?

I was lying on my stomach, and he was kinda lying on top of me, pinning me down. I'm deathly ticklish, so he started tickling me to be a pain in the ass. I struggled a bit and tried to turn over to face him. I got about halfway out from under him and tried to roll over. My elbow connected with his face. My eyes widened, and I attempted to squeak out an apology. He jumped up and ran to the bathroom.

When he returned, I asked if he was ok. "Yeah, I'm fine," he said. "Not the first time I've had my nose bloodied."

Oh, dear God. I wanted to die. I must've apologized a thousand times. He thought it was funny, but all I could think was "I was such a good slave today...up until I fucking bloodied my Master's nose!"

Tickle people, ice *certain* people and there's no telling the outcome.

 

[Harmony_1985]

I'm not too good with being tickled, I squirm like crazy.

 

[fieryjen]

I this thread.

Good stuff. Funny, too.

 

[myinnerslut]

a lot of the fail comes from accidents as a result of orgasm. its not that uncommon for me to cum and as soon as i get control of myself squeak out an "ow".

real winners include the time i came and scraped my foot up pretty badly on the textured wall.

or the time i snapped my head back and slammed it into the headboard

or the time i slammed my head into the wall and bloodied my lip (the day i got collared)

 

[rida]

Done that.

I am insanely ticklish and Master uses it as entertainment and a torture device. I accept no responsibility of any description for kicking his ass on reflex while being pinned and tickled. I have managed to knee him in the balls on more than one occasion and it wasn't intentional.

To compound the failure, I have precious little sympathy for the bastard too.

Yep.
I'm not always ticklish, but when I am that's me: if you tickle me, I am not responsible for my body's reactions.

And if I hurt you, you had been warned

*mental note: need to add tickling to the hard limit list*

a lot of the fail comes from accidents as a result of orgasm. its not that uncommon for me to cum and as soon as i get control of myself squeak out an "ow".

real winners include the time i came and scraped my foot up pretty badly on the textured wall.

or the time i snapped my head back and slammed it into the headboard

or the time i slammed my head into the wall and bloodied my lip (the day i got collared)

LOL!
Orgasms are indeed dangerous stuff: that's why PYLs need to tie us pyl up

 

[the_mgp]

vomit

 

[kinkyknickers]

I've got one for you, M was trying to beat my arse last night. Being the not so passive gal that I am and a rather big fan of giving as good as I get, I grabbed the nearest potential weapon (my belt) and swung backwards (he had me held down, I couldn't see where he was) and....... Absolutely SMASHED him in the temple with the belt buckle at full force.
Damn near took out his eye and hurt him (not to mention totally shocked him) quite a bit.
Woops I only meant to hit him on the bum.

Maybe I should take the phrase "to the death" out of my game strategy.

Or maybe people shouldn't fuck with me