On Being Raped

[Unclebill]

Originally posted by Kitte
I hate the little shit who raped me, one day I will chop off his balls with a dull axe and make him eat them slowly with hot sauce. . .

Let me offer a perhaps more satisfying process and if you like, I'll help hold him down for you.

Rather than use the dull axe to remove them, I'm thinking of the scene in Hannibal with Ray Liotta's character.

Use a dull knife to open the scrotum. Pour in the hot sauce and let them marinate for awhile. Then, as did Hannibal, cut off each bite sized morsel to feed to him with the remainder still attached. And make sure you use a dull fork to hold each as you trim away the morsel to be fed!

Originally posted by c.fey
LOL!!! MY what a big EGO you have!!!!

True, perhaps, but compensation is the tiny mind.

 

[MechaBlade]

YES! Rape is a crime of control and freakin' male insecurity and violence, NOT SEX! Thanks for reminding me of that.
~ fey

I always find it odd that there is a rumor going around that rape has nothing to do with sex. I imagine any scenario where a man sticks his penis into a woman's vagina until orgasm has to do with sex just a little bit.

dateRape, not the way to stay on my good side. If you're going to keep the name, you can't make jokes about it. You can't even really talk about it at all.

And although I understand wanting to torture the rapists, what Uncle Bill said actually scared me a little.

I'm sorry to everyone who has been the victim of sexual abuse.

 

[Kitte]

I always find it odd that there is a rumor going around that rape has nothing to do with sex. I imagine any scenario where a man sticks his penis into a woman's vagina until orgasm has to do with sex just a little bit.

I dont find that to be true... It has to do with control and power and what better way for a man to control a woman then to physically invade her body, ripping her bruising and wounding her in places no one could ever see. Causing her social stigma, emotional wounds, and irreprable damage. Psychologists have proven that rapists do get sexually stimulated, obviously, but it is by the control, not the woman, not her body, but by her pain and her anguish. That is why it is not a crime of sex.

 

[Sillyman]

Most rapists do what they do to hurt someone, not to get their rocks off. A lot of the time they lose the erection as soon as they stick it in.

My mom has been raped, and she is one of the horniest people I know. Ditto my sister.

 

[MechaBlade]

I dont find that to be true... It has to do with control and power and what better way for a man to control a woman then to physically invade her body, ripping her bruising and wounding her in places no one could ever see. Causing her social stigma, emotional wounds, and irreprable damage. Psychologists have proven that rapists do get sexually stimulated, obviously, but it is by the control, not the woman, not her body, but by her pain and her anguish. That is why it is not a crime of sex.

....

Most rapists do what they do to hurt someone, not to get their rocks off. A lot of the time they lose the erection as soon as they stick it in.

My mom has been raped, and she is one of the horniest people I know. Ditto my sister.

I find it hard to believe that a man would rape a woman because of the psychological damage he believes it will cause. Especially if you consider rapes that occur while the woman is unconscious, in which he actually doesn't want her to know she has been raped. Yes, control can be a factor in making a man more aroused. I don't believe rape is purely sexual.

Interesting that a lot of rapists get soft when they stick it in. I hadn't heard that. I would attribute that to the rapist losing his motivation (realizing the wrongness of his actions) or to the act of rape not actually turning him on as much as the idea. However, men can be extremely turned on and horny and yet, not be hard. This has happened to to me.

And yes, horny people can be raped, too.

MechaBlade

"Now, those who tell you that there is no sexual aspect of rape, that it is merely violence, understand neither rape nor sex. Sex is a form of expression. It can be an expression of love or of anger or even simply an expression of sexual desire itself. Rape is sexual. Otherwise, it would merely be assault."
-Narrator, A Goth Grrrl's Screams by darkness

 

[Nomad4112000]

my opinion

I have never been in this situation but I to a very sexually active, infact I'm proud to say I'm a pervert. But I don't think that you being sexually active has anything to do with your past. It takes a Very Strong person with great charicter to over come what you have experienced. You should be proud of your self. So enjoy but please do it safely it would be a shame to lose another to a disease.

 

[SilverVeil]

No, your view on sex is not abnormal. Every person is different. How rape affects one person, may not be the same as it affects another.

I was raped in college, and my brother molested me when I was young. I have a very healthy sex life with my lover and a very vivid imagination when it comes to fantasy. I read erotica, and have a great deal of interest in bondage and domination. I spend the better part of the day horny most times.

Neither the rape nor the molestation affected my sexual views. If anything they affected me in other ways.

In real life I am a very private, shy person. I have tons of people who confide in me, yet I keep my inner thoughts to myself. Not even to my lover do I share my darkest thoughts. I have been in therapy, and even my therapist has said that further sessions will not do much good as there is only so much I will let someone see.

And what most people see is a shell of someone. A chameleon ( sp ? ) if you will. Whatever it is they need to see, is what I am. A mother figure, a friend, a lover. But inside it is going through the motions. Very few things in life touch me. Most of it rolls off like water on a ducks back.

The last therapist I saw described it as, I have a switch I turn off and on when I want to. But sometimes I think I left it off, and now I can not remember how to turn it back on.

Sometimes I wish I could just open up and let someone inside. But I know exactly how much darkness and ugliness is in there. I think it is best to keep it this way.

Goddess .... I better stop now. I will be all depressed if I don't.

 

[CarolineOh]

I always find it odd that there is a rumor going around that rape has nothing to do with sex. I imagine any scenario where a man sticks his penis into a woman's vagina until orgasm has to do with sex just a little bit.

Look at it this way, if someone smashed you in the head with a baseball bat, would you figure it was because he wanted to bash your brain in, or because he liked baseball?

 

[sigh]

quote:
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"Now, those who tell you that there is no sexual aspect of rape, that it is merely violence, understand neither rape nor sex. Sex is a form of expression. It can be an expression of love or of anger or even simply an expression of sexual desire itself. Rape is sexual. Otherwise, it would merely be assault."
-Narrator, A Goth Grrrl's Screams by darkness
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

i've been through this in my mind many times over the last decade, my internal debate taking me back and forth from one side of the issue to the other

i have to conclude (though it seems some sort of betrayal to do so) that sex was at least partly at the heart of my rape...the rapist was my sister's fiance and she was 4 years older than me (i was 15) and throughout the horror of it he kept saying how pretty i was and how much more desirable we (women) are at a younger age

he told me that when making love to my sister, he would dream that she was me

the sexual images were so strong...i can't pretend they weren't real

 

[Allexus_TN]

Generally speaking, sex is only a "tool" used to exercise control over a victim when raped. I have read that the thrill of that much control gets the rapist hard, and they lose it once inside because they aren't after something sexual, only after the power. Unfortuanately, most of the time it has nothing to do with the rapist realizing he's wrong. Normally, if he loses his erection, he will then beat the woman unconscious, if not to death. Its control.

Please note I said "generally speaking"

 

[Kitte]

Generally speaking, sex is only a "tool" used to exercise control over a victim when raped. I have read that the thrill of that much control gets the rapist hard, and they lose it once inside because they aren't after something sexual, only after the power. Unfortuanately, most of the time it has nothing to do with the rapist realizing he's wrong. Normally, if he loses his erection, he will then beat the woman unconscious, if not to death. Its control.

Please note I said "generally speaking"

As always my sister Allexus is my more rational half. I think maybe my saying always was more anger then anything. I do KNOW in my case it was completly a control issue. But I suppose there are cases where is MAY be sexually motivated.

 

[sigh]

i suppose there's no real answer, either way...as with everything, it really depends on the circumstances each and every time

was it sex? it seemed there was a sexual component to it to me, both then and now...and he didn't lose his erection...my son is testament to that

was it power? absolutely...he overpowered me, and reveled in overpowering me (i was, and still am, a very tiny person) and clearly that was part of the motivation as well

in the end we need, as a group of sisters, to not worry so much why it happened, or define exactly what it was, but rather we just need to be there for each other...who better to hear our stories?...who better to offer a shoulder to cry on than one who's been there, who can cry in return?

i love and hate these rape threads, but i just can't stay away...thanks to all of you for being here

 

[Ms_Lilith]

Hey, I totally hear you.. I was raped about a year ago (date rape), and I read the non-consent stories, too. Somtimes it's difficult for me to read them, and sometimes it turns me on... I am also the same as you in that I'm a nympho... my experience has only made me more of a nymph, and far more open with myself.

I totally understand.. and hey- whatever you need to do to heal is fine. I write poetry and paint.. I bitch to people about it. Shit, you gotta do what you gotta do.

Cheers, and hugs,
Vix

 

[MechaBlade]

Look at it this way, if someone smashed you in the head with a baseball bat, would you figure it was because he wanted to bash your brain in, or because he liked baseball?

If he hit my head off into a field and then ran around 3 bases and slid home while wearing a baseball jersey, I might figure he likes baseball a little.

See, because he's not actually playing baseball if he just hits me in the head.