On writing: descriptions

[StillStunned]

Another question: how do you go about describing your POV characters? And related to that: how much detail, particularly for 1P POV?

Bad: "I'm a sex-crazed 22-year-old blonde with 44DD breasts, a 10" waist, standing 5'3" tall with pouty lips that are made for sucking cock. This morning I caught my brother spying on me under the shower, rubbing at his 14" cock..."

Still bad: "I looked at myself in the mirror as I undressed. At only 22, my large breasts are still firm, and my narrow waist and small form make them look bigger than their actual 44DD cup size. I shook my blonde hair loose from its scrunchy, feeling it tickling my bare back all the way down to my pert arse..."

Not sure whether it's better or worse: "'I'm so jealous of your tits!' my best friend exclaimed. 'What are they, 56EE?' I laughed and told her that no, they were only 44DD, but because I'm so petite they always seem larger, and the effect is amplified by my innocent and angelic appearance with blonde hair and sweetheart lips..."

Anyone else want to have a go at describing her, for better or for worse?

 

[TheLobster]

Bad: "I'm a sex-crazed 22-year-old blonde with 44DD breasts, a 10" waist, standing 5'3" tall with pouty lips that are made for sucking cock. This morning I caught my brother spying on me under the shower, rubbing at his 14" cock..."

What do you mean, bad? This is perfect! Five stars, a favorite, a follow, and we'll be watching your career with great interest.

Anyone else want to have a go at describing her, for better or for worse?

I'm not gonna take a stab at wording it, but I believe a self-description must have a narrative reason to be there. The character should want to assess her appearance, in a way that it serves the plot. In case of this 22-year-old, maybe she's crushing on some guy in her college and comparing herself to his current girlfriend (which could also allow you to characterize her a little bit, such as whether she's confident in her appearance or insecure).

 

[SimonDoom]

Another question: how do you go about describing your POV characters? And related to that: how much detail, particularly for 1P POV?

Bad: "I'm a sex-crazed 22-year-old blonde with 44DD breasts, a 10" waist, standing 5'3" tall with pouty lips that are made for sucking cock. This morning I caught my brother spying on me under the shower, rubbing at his 14" cock..."

Still bad: "I looked at myself in the mirror as I undressed. At only 22, my large breasts are still firm, and my narrow waist and small form make them look bigger than their actual 44DD cup size. I shook my blonde hair loose from its scrunchy, feeling it tickling my bare back all the way down to my pert arse..."

Not sure whether it's better or worse: "'I'm so jealous of your tits!' my best friend exclaimed. 'What are they, 56EE?' I laughed and told her that no, they were only 44DD, but because I'm so petite they always seem larger, and the effect is amplified by my innocent and angelic appearance with blonde hair and sweetheart lips..."

Anyone else want to have a go at describing her, for better or for worse?

I'd say, as a default guideline, less is more.

If you take mainstream, published fiction as a guide, POV characters don't usually describe themselves in great detail. It sounds a bit strange.

One good reason NOT to add a lot of detail is that detail can be distancing; it may prevent the reader from immersing themselves in the POV character. They may think, "That's not like me." That seems unnecessary.

But if you're writing a story about a character who gets involved in bimboification fetish, then something like that sentence might be just right. It depends on the story.

 

[anthrodisiac]

Another question: how do you go about describing your POV characters? And related to that: how much detail, particularly for 1P POV?

Bad: "I'm a sex-crazed 22-year-old blonde with 44DD breasts, a 10" waist, standing 5'3" tall with pouty lips that are made for sucking cock. This morning I caught my brother spying on me under the shower, rubbing at his 14" cock..."

Still bad: "I looked at myself in the mirror as I undressed. At only 22, my large breasts are still firm, and my narrow waist and small form make them look bigger than their actual 44DD cup size. I shook my blonde hair loose from its scrunchy, feeling it tickling my bare back all the way down to my pert arse..."

Not sure whether it's better or worse: "'I'm so jealous of your tits!' my best friend exclaimed. 'What are they, 56EE?' I laughed and told her that no, they were only 44DD, but because I'm so petite they always seem larger, and the effect is amplified by my innocent and angelic appearance with blonde hair and sweetheart lips..."

Anyone else want to have a go at describing her, for better or for worse?

I rifled through my drawer and pulled out my bra. I could've easily used it as a seige catapult. Why God gave me 103ZZZ boobs was beyond me, but who am I to question God?

 

[TheLobster]

I rifled through my drawer and pulled out my bra. I could've easily used it as a seige catapult.

Technically, that would be a trebuchet. And as r/trebuchetmemes would readily tell you, they should not be confused with catapults.

 

[anthrodisiac]

Technically, that would be a trebuchet. And as r/trebuchetmemes would readily tell you, they should not be confused with catapults.

View attachment 2614501

Oh dear, don't make me go pedantic on the difference between a trebuchet and a catapult. It's supposed to be my day off from pedanticism...

 

[EmilyMiller]

Another question: how do you go about describing your POV characters? And related to that: how much detail, particularly for 1P POV?

Bad: "I'm a sex-crazed 22-year-old blonde with 44DD breasts, a 10" waist, standing 5'3" tall with pouty lips that are made for sucking cock. This morning I caught my brother spying on me under the shower, rubbing at his 14" cock..."

Still bad: "I looked at myself in the mirror as I undressed. At only 22, my large breasts are still firm, and my narrow waist and small form make them look bigger than their actual 44DD cup size. I shook my blonde hair loose from its scrunchy, feeling it tickling my bare back all the way down to my pert arse..."

Not sure whether it's better or worse: "'I'm so jealous of your tits!' my best friend exclaimed. 'What are they, 56EE?' I laughed and told her that no, they were only 44DD, but because I'm so petite they always seem larger, and the effect is amplified by my innocent and angelic appearance with blonde hair and sweetheart lips..."

Anyone else want to have a go at describing her, for better or for worse?

Fuck my back hurts, and walking is a challenge with the massive inertia of these lipid bags to drag after me…

 

[StillStunned]

Oh dear, don't make me go pedantic on the difference between a trebuchet and a catapult. It's supposed to be my day off from pedanticism...

You could both *describe* a trebuchet and a catapult. You know, to stay more or less on-topic.

 

[StillStunned]

Fuck my back hurts, and walking is a challenge with the massive inertia of these lipid bags to drag after me…

This one would need a coterie of ladies-in-waiting to follow her around and hold her boobs like the train of a dress. Or maybe they hold the train, and the breasts rest in it?

 

[EmilyMiller]

This one would need a coterie of ladies-in-waiting to follow her around and hold her boobs like the train of a dress. Or maybe they hold the train, and the breasts rest in it?

Or a droid to support each of them - let’s not ignore SciFi

 

[anthrodisiac]

This one would need a coterie of ladies-in-waiting to follow her around and hold her boobs like the train of a dress. Or maybe they hold the train, and the breasts rest in it?

Sounds like a job for duct tape to me.

 

[anthrodisiac]

You could both *describe* a trebuchet and a catapult. You know, to stay more or less on-topic.

Catapult: generic term for a class of weapons that involves launching projectiles using stored energy, generally using tension or torsion stored in an arm or lever, with a place to set the projectile being launched.
Trebuchet: a class of catapult that uses an hinged arm and sling to let fly the projectile, generally using counterweights (or manpower for earlier versions).

Edit: And it was supposed to be my day off...

 

[StillStunned]

Alright, back to describing Bernie the Big-Boobed Blonde or, as her friends call her, "that bitch who's so shallow her reflection has more depth".

 

[TheLobster]

Catapult: generic term for a class of weapons that involves launching projectiles using stored energy, generally using tension or torsion stored in an arm or lever, with a place to set the projectile being launched.
Trebuchet: a class of catapult that uses an hinged arm and sling to let fly the projectile, generally using counterweights (or manpower for earlier versions).

This runs counter to every video game I've played, where trebuchets are always straight upgrades to catapults, and therefore I'm going to ignore it and distract you with the fact that ballistae also exist!

 

[EmilyMiller]

Fuck my back hurts, and walking is a challenge with the massive inertia of these lipid bags to drag after me…

I think the partially tethered gyrations of my mega-mammaries have formed a Lorenz Attractor. How strange…

 

[liliput1]

I am currently reading some authors who have their characters take a more active role in ignoring their developing feelings for another character and one way to do that is to suddenly become very interested in the scenery, a plant, the furniture in a restaurant.

As a literary device, suddenly becoming desperately focused on your environment as a deflection from “unwelcome” feelings has a place. In moderation. This seems to work better with first person narration, where you can lean into the unreliable narrator. With third person it’s probably better for the narrator to describe in broad strokes that the MC is currently spiraling.

 

[liliput1]

I

Another question: how do you go about describing your POV characters? And related to that: how much detail, particularly for 1P POV?

Bad: "I'm a sex-crazed 22-year-old blonde with 44DD breasts, a 10" waist, standing 5'3" tall with pouty lips that are made for sucking cock. This morning I caught my brother spying on me under the shower, rubbing at his 14" cock..."

When I came back to here after a long hiatus, I was pleased to see that bullshit like this had largely disappeared from the Top List. Instead authors seemed to work more consistently to communicate to us the beholder’s conviction of the beauty of the character rather than our own. Because that’s all that really matters.

Also, if you fetishize a character one way you lose all of your audience that may not be into that. Broader brushstrokes let you decide if the girl who “has bigger/nicer boobs than me” is above average or seeing doctors about back pain. I know 2 people who have had reduction surgery and one did not enjoy how they were treated before - at all, and I know a married redhead with a teenaged son who is fully skeeved out by how some men treat redheads they don’t even know. Even middle aged ones.

So, describe the beats, let me decide if I want to fixate on a passing foot description or pretend no such thing was even mentioned and la la la my way onto the description of collarbones.

 

[StillStunned]

Or a droid to support each of them - let’s not ignore SciFi

You'd think that the anti-gravity bra would be one of the first inventions of a space-going culture. I mean, who wouldn't enjoy that?

 

[anthrodisiac]

You'd think that the anti-gravity bra would be one of the first inventions of a space-going culture. I mean, who wouldn't enjoy that?

Big Gravity has been trying to ban anti-gravity bras for years

 

[StillStunned]

I think I might have to incorporate the anti-G bra into my Geek Pride story. It's something that a geeky sci-fi author would think of, after all.

Well, I mean, I just did. QED.

 

[anthrodisiac]

I think I might have to incorporate the anti-G bra into my Geek Pride story. It's something that a geeky sci-fi author would think of, after all.

Well, I mean, I just did. QED.

I just had a whole scene pass in front of my eyes. The testing stage; huge, clunky, unwieldy devices; boobs floating up and bopping the people testing them in the face. A tragic nipple-eye gouging incident on a particularly frosty evening.

 

[TheLobster]

I think I might have to incorporate the anti-G bra into my Geek Pride story. It's something that a geeky sci-fi author would think of, after all.

Well, I mean, I just did. QED.

I’m actually writing a scene right now, for my GP story, where the heroine has to cross a short distance in zero-g through the hub of the spinning craft (that has centrifugal gravity on its rim).

She’s not extraordinarily well endowed in the chest area, but now I think should at least comment how she feels the weightlessness there. Not an anti-g bra per se, but maybe a special style and cut that accounts for changes in g-force in general…

 

[StillStunned]

"Dear Christina Koch, congratulations on your wonderful Artemis II mission. If you have a moment, I would love to ask you some questions, particularly about weightlessness. I'm an erotica writer, and..."

No. Don't even think about it.

 

[BeechLeaf]

Way too late. We all thought it as soon as we read #100.

 

[Duleigh]

As you might gather, I'm not fond of elaborate descriptions.

Nor am I, but my readers love them when done right. Even in long series where every 3 weeks they're reading the new adventures of Josh and Veronica, they want to re-discover the joys of Veronica's body and Josh's southern charm. It gets boring to write but if you do it right it's delicious to read. I keep a side window open using Microsoft One Note where I have descriptions of my characters and all associated information I will need later where I can copy/paste the highlights. That tool has become invaluable to me, especially in long form works. I can even store maps I created, images of my characters, and cover art for books. Having an image of my characters at hand is also a great tool because I'm very visually predisposed.