One night stands

[doll_2354]

I remember having this conversation with a guy I was talking with. I told him how I in general don’t trust men who ask me out because of something that happened in past, so I said I’m not looking for a relationship. He said about going out, like one night stand but the thing is I need to trust you, be comfortable around and know you enough to even initiate a hug. Even if I tried it, I feel it will be like mechanically going through a process rather than enjoying it.

So I don’t know if it’s just me or there are other people who need genuine feelings to have sex.

 

[BillyWalrus]

So I don’t know if it’s just me or there are other people who need genuine feelings to have sex.

Not just you. I am a guy but I still need to feel an attachment before I sleep with someone.

 

[liqueur]

I don’t know if it’s just me or there are other people who need genuine feelings to have sex.

It can go either way for me. It can be just about the pleasure— and more and more for me these days, about giving pleasure— or it can be about the emotional connection. And sometimes, the emotional connection rises out of the physical. One of the best nights of my life was a one night stand (I confess I wish it had been much more than that). In that case, despite it being only one night, both the emotion and the sensual were there in full flood.

 

[liqueur]

It can go either way for me. It can be just about the pleasure— and more and more for me these days, about giving pleasure—

Full disclosure: a lot of it has to do with gender, for me. I am pansexual/hetero-romantic. I love having sex with men, but have a very hard time trusting them. If emotional feelings arise, I'm as likely as not to run the other way. With women, it's very unlikely for me to have sex without developing emotional feelings for them. Sadly, I've never had the opportunity to be with a trans person, but I think it would be case by case, depending on how much masculine or feminine energy I felt around them.

 

[42DarkNightOwl]

I remember having this conversation with a guy I was talking with. I told him how I in general don’t trust men who ask me out because of something that happened in past, so I said I’m not looking for a relationship. He said about going out, like one night stand but the thing is I need to trust you, be comfortable around and know you enough to even initiate a hug. Even if I tried it, I feel it will be like mechanically going through a process rather than enjoying it.

So I don’t know if it’s just me or there are other people who need genuine feelings to have sex.

It's not just you. After having a single one night stand at 20 I decided not to repeat it. I do not regrt it but it was mechanical as you discribe. To date, 30 years later I have kept that promise to myself.

Recently, for the 1st time in my life I have had a few fantasies that have included strangers, but dispite what my fantasies may or may not be, I know that the majority of the enjoyment comes from my partner rather than the mechanical, biological process which ends with a disrespectful 'Thanks, bye'.

To be honest, how the world has changed since 1996, if we did happen to meet in a hotel bar, I probably wouldn't trust you enought to relax either.

 

[FeistyPhxGirl]

Girl same!
Its not to build a relationship, its to establish a trust.
Ive seen so many people end up on the news about going on a tinder date and they end up dead.
Its scary out here