OOC and Casting Call for: St. Mayhem

[Clint Taurus]

I'm still up for it Maid, when's the interview?

 

[Maid of Marvels]

*grumbles*

Bend over, baby... this interview includes a FULL physical.

It's comin'. It's comin'.

 

[Blue Dolphin]

It's comin'. It's comin'.

What is
the interview

or

THE STRAP ON?

 

[Maid of Marvels]

Clint insists that applicants should be interviewed. I added the groping... erm... physical.

Working on some questions, but I could take your temperature (or something ) in the meantime?

 

[Maid of Marvels]

*sets a stack of applications and crayons on the desk*

St. Mayhem Personal Interview​

1. What additional training will we have ro provide if we hire you?
   
2. What were your three greatest accomplishments at your last job?
   
3. What are some of the techniques you will use to make a patient more comfortable?
   
4. Would you consider having the corporate logo tattooed on your forearm to show your loyalty to the powers that be? (ie The guys who write the checks.)
   
5. Can you operate a paper shredder? How about a welding torch?
   
6. Can you tell me a little about your extracurricular activities?
   
7. Have you managed to locate all the restrooms?
   
8. Do you have any form of STD? Don't be shy. This is a hospital
   setting after all.
   
9. Is your cel phone set to "tone" or vibrate?
   
10. Do you understand the term "sexual harrassment" and, would you spill the beans or keep your yap shut?
    
11. Just one more thing... If the job you're applying for has been filled, would you consider taking another position?
    
12. Ooh... That reminds me. What IS your favorite position?

 

[Clint Taurus]

Bend over, baby... this interview includes a FULL physical.

It's comin'. It's comin'.

No to be precise I'm Cumming, I'm Cumming

 

[Maid of Marvels]

I'm shocked. What do you think this is -- a porn board?

Take me! Take me NOW!! *swoon*

 

[Blue Dolphin]

St. Mayhem Personal Interview​

1. What additional training will we have ro provide if we hire you?
   
   Whatever you might deem applicable is fine by me
   
   
2. What were your three greatest accomplishments at your last job?
   
   Saving a patients life, supplying the docs with weed, and not getting caught screwing around with the hot sexy nurses
   
   
3. What are some of the techniques you will use to make a patient more comfortable?
   
   I will take more care not to slam the gurney into the walls here
   
   
4. Would you consider having the corporate logo tattooed on your forearm to show your loyalty to the powers that be? (ie The guys who write the checks.)
   
   Hell yeah, it will go well with the alligator on my ass
   
   
5. Can you operate a paper shredder? How about a welding torch?
   yes & yes
   
   
6. Can you tell me a little about your extracurricular activities?
   
   I love looking at the stars, out in the desert is best, especially if I can persuade one of the strippers from my fave club to join me
   
   
7. Have you managed to locate all the restrooms?
   
   Oh yes, most definitely, I have had great times in the womens rest room before now
   
   
8. Do you have any form of STD? Don't be shy. This is a hospital
   setting after all.
   No way Jose
   
   
9. Is your cel phone set to "tone" or vibrate?
   It plays Hotel California AND it vibrates, hell yeah
   
   
   
10. Do you understand the term "sexual harrassment" and, would you spill the beans or keep your yap shut?
    
    You can sexually harass me anytimre you wants sugar, and I wont say a damned word about it
    
    
11. Just one more thing... If the job you're applying for has been filled, would you consider taking another position?
    
    Variety is the spice of life, need I say more?
    
    
12. Ooh... That reminds me. What IS your favorite position?
    
    
    Stood behind, doing the business, and watching everything that goes on

Hows that then?

 

[Clint Taurus]

What additional training will we have to provide if we hire you?
1) How to catch a bus, because I've lost my driving licence for drinking and driving.
How to spell sykiatrist because its a very hard word to spell. the location of the clitoris, Ive put it in Google route planner and nearest place it came up with, was Cincinnati.
What were your three greatest accomplishments at your last job?
I got in early once, the clocks went forward and I put it back by mistake.
COLOR=Red] photocopying my ass, dick and nuts and getting it all on a sheet of a4.I Made a rubber band ball, the size of a blue whales testicle.
What are some of the techniques you will use to make a patient more comfortable?
Apply a higher tog rating to the padded cell walls and loosen a notch on the straightjacket buckle.
Lobotomise all patients using my patent cranial screwtop method (this procedure was stolen from me by Steve Martin).
Administer Laughing gas to depressives and tell them jokes.

Would you consider having the corporate logo tattooed on your forearm to show your loyalty to the powers that be? (ie The guys who write the checks.)
As long as the corporate logo is the Hells Angels 'Deaths Head',' Hate and Love' on the knuckles and 'cut here' on my throat, I've already got these ones.

Can you operate a paper shredder? How about a welding torch?
No, but I was reaped once by a combine harvester. *Baleful look*

Can you tell me a little about your extracurricular activities?
I attend Karma Sutra classes in which I'm a blackbelt 3rd Dan, but I prefer women.
Dogging, using my telescope, bicycle saddle sniffing, writing toilet poetry, my best being, "You dont come here to sit and wonder but to fart like Hell and shit like thunder"
Origasmami the ancient art of tying them up and then fucking them.

Have you managed to locate all the restrooms?
locate them!! I'm living in them.

Do you have any form of STD? Don't be shy. This is a hospital
setting after all.
Nothing apart from Non-Specic Utheritis, Thrush, Genital Warts, Herpes, Hepetitis B, Trichomoniasis, Syphilis,Chlamydia, Gonorrhea and I had Aids once.


Is your cel phone set to "tone" or vibrate?
Please could you call me on this one, soon and very frequently?


Do you understand the term "sexual harrassment" and, would you spill the beans or keep your yap shut?
Yes I do know how to sexually harrass, show us your tits!!,
I pulled some love beads out quickly once, and the string broke.I CAN keep quiet, except when I'm just about to cum.

Just one more thing... If the job you're applying for has been filled, would you consider taking another position?
The way I feel at the moment, I'd fill anything, I havn't wanked for at least an hour and I've got a full ball sack.

Ooh... That reminds me. What IS your favorite position?
My ass in the air with a nurse fingering my prostrate!.

 

[RedHairedandFriendly]

Grabbing two crayons and peeling the paper paper back I sit down to answer the interview questions.

St. Mayhem Personal Interview​

1.​

What additional training will we have to provide if we hire you?

None that I can think of. I'm potty trained, as well as paper-trained if necessary. I swallow and don't spit, mom always said if you're dumb enough to put it in your mouth you better be willing enough to eat it.

2.​

What were your three greatest accomplishments at your last job?

The Mayor, The Police Chief, and the Fire Marshall

3.​

What are some of the techniques you will use to make a patient more comfortable?

Tongue bath: helps one get all the crevices clean. Hand jobs: relaxes stiff muscles. Facials: I have a secret family recipe that puts a smile on a man's face and makes him look 10 years younger.

4.​

Would you consider having the corporate logo tattooed on your forearm to show your loyalty to the powers that be? (ie The guys who write the checks.)

Yes. I would bare my all for the company.

5.​

Can you operate a paper shredder? How about a welding torch?

I'm all about saving money for the company. My teeth work great. I can bite with just the right about of pressure to make any paper come apart in my mouth. I'm so hot you won't need a welding torch with me around.

6.​

Can you tell me a little about your extracurricular activities?

I'm a Sunday School Teacher, Girl Scout Leader, and volunteer every month at the Red Cross donating blood

7.​

Have you managed to locate all the restrooms?

I personally used one before taking this test. *wipes hands on skirt* You need soap and the water faucets weren't hooked up and there were no paper towels, and the toilet paper was out. So I had to drip dry.

8.​

Do you have any form of STD? Don't be shy. This is a hospital setting after all.

I have several STD, Sextual Tendency Disorder (I tend to have sex a lot), Sexual Toys Dyslexia (I get the toys and the holes mixed up) and Sexual Tongue Dragging (this is a newly discovered disease... I often drag my tongue over hard, thick objects) I promise none of these problems will interfere with my work. *crosses fingers behind back*

9.​

Is your cell phone set to "tone" or vibrate?

Mine is set to vibrate with different levels for the caller. I would set St. Mayhem on full force vibration, so you could always reach me in case of an emergency or if you just want to chat.

10.​

Do you understand the term "sexual harrassment" and, would you spill the beans or keep your yap shut?

Yes, I understand it and have practiced it so I can offer any advice you need on increasing or decreasing its potential for the workplace. I would only keep my mouth open to gather up more seeds*damn no eraser*I meant beans.

11.​

Just one more thing... If the job you're applying for has been filled, would you consider taking another position?

Any position is fine. I'm very flexible. *see attached photo*attached photo

12.​

Ooh... That reminds me. What IS your favorite position?

I like to curl up in a ball, sometimes on my back, or my belly. But usually like this. I also find visual stimulation a must for some people to understand what your talking about. *see attached photo*
attached photo #2 More photos available upon request.

Putting back the crayons, I move back and take a seat under the picture window.

 

[Clint Taurus]

Looks like I'm gonna enjoy workingON with you.

 

[RedHairedandFriendly]

Looks like I'm gonna enjoy workingON with you.

 

[Clint Taurus]

Tongue bath: helps one get all the crevices clean. Hand jobs: relaxes stiff muscles. Facials: I have a secret family recipe that puts a smile on a man's face and makes him look 10 years younger.

I've cancelled my face lift appointment Red

 

[RedHairedandFriendly]

Tongue bath: helps one get all the crevices clean. Hand jobs: relaxes stiff muscles. Facials: I have a secret family recipe that puts a smile on a man's face and makes him look 10 years younger.

I've cancelled my face lift appointment Red

Anything I can do to make a man feel young again