Personal Ad Recommendations?

[IsabellaSnow]

*This is here instead of the Playground because I'm only interested in finding a D*

So, I live in a country in which the natives are just not my type.

Too passive, too gentle, too happy to have a woman lead.

I'm not going there.

The expats here are mostly kids trying to find themselves.

Not going there either.

Ive looked over alt and collarme - frankly, most of the men on those sites are a bit creepy.

What's left??

Looks like I have to place an ad somewhere and hope for the best.

That, or join a convent.

Suggestions?

Preferrably something that involves a sexy Englishman...

 

[Ebonyfire]

Here is my answer

You may not like my answer. It takes a long time to find someone. It is rarely a fast process. First of all you must know yourself rather well. Then you must take the time to write down what you are looking for including the deal breakers, what you absolutely will not tolerate.

After all that you must be willing to walk away rather than settle for less than what you want. And sometimes you must wait.

The venue does not matter cause you can find them online, in chat rooms, and meeting like minded people in munches. But if you are just surfing, you will not surf a lot, and not find much.

Take time to get to know the person first and see if they are someone you want ot explore things further with. Take it slowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.

Good luck.

Eb

 

[IsabellaSnow]

Thanks.

I know myself - very well.

I havent settled thus far - which is why I am still looking.

Time is something I have already invested much of, you have nooo idea.

There isnt a bdsm community here. There are no munches.

And this is the problem.

There *isnt* a way to meet anyone!



Which is why Im asking for recs on where to meet online.

Anyone?

 

[Ebonyfire]

Thanks.

I know myself - very well.

I havent settled thus far - which is why I am still looking.

Time is something I have already invested much of, you have nooo idea.

There isnt a bdsm community here. There are no munches.

And this is the problem.

There *isnt* a way to meet anyone!



Which is why Im asking for recs on where to meet online.

Anyone?

Ah rolling ones eyes is not very nice.

 

[Ebonyfire]

Do you think it is easy for anyone else? Sometimes it takes years to find the right person.


Many of us here on this forum have searched for years for the proper person.

 

[IsabellaSnow]

Ah rolling ones eyes is not very nice.

That depends on whom you ask.

 

[Ebonyfire]

That depends on whom you ask.

Well it is lost on me.

I will leave you to your sarcasm.

 

[IsabellaSnow]

Do you think it is easy for anyone else? Sometimes it takes years to find the right person.


Many of us here on this forum have searched for years for the proper person.

Already been years.

Im not talking about how to meet the right D - I'm really talking about where to meet ANY of them, that arent a bit .. well.. 'off'.

I've had my share of 'off'.

 

[IsabellaSnow]

Well it is lost on me.

I will leave you to your sarcasm.

I think you may have misinterpreted my initial dilemma.

Regardless, its pretty clear I wasnt rolling my eyes at you - but rather at the fact that there isnt anywhere here to meet anyone.

If you take offense at that.. ok.

 

[Ebonyfire]

If you take offense at that.. ok.

I have no need to take offense. I am not the one who is still looking. I never have to look. They come to me.

I have had (and still do have) submissives at most of the site in fact my current subs and my slave came from collarme.

They are out there.

Eb

 

[IsabellaSnow]

Im not a sub, and Im not easily impressed.

Collarme and alt are meatfests. Anyone can 'find' or 'be found' on there.

Im looking for something a bit more highbrow.

 

[catalina_francisco]

Sure sounds like an unusual country you live in....tried picking it but can't. That being said, I don't think you can ever use a blanket statement to describe all of one gender in a culture or country as there are always those who do not fit the norm, not to mention everyone is an individual...whether they choose to be open about that part of themselves could be more the question and related to a need to be careful more so than take a chance by shouting it from the rooftops so to speak. It is also the same with Alt etc....while you may have read profiles of some you find creepy, not everyone on any site is creepy, or wonderful, or anything....they are a mix of people. Our experience is if you post a good ad which sounds genuine and like you know what you want, you will attract those who are similar in their intent. It can take time, but it requires an open mind and honest communication more so than judging a book by its cover or expecting James Bond stereotype with model looks which a lot of female subs are looking for and which a lot of male Doms are far from being.

We actually had profiles on a couple of the bigger sites (Alt and Bondage being 2), and yet we met through a very small European personals site. Unfortunately they are not online these days due to other commitments, but it shows it is not about numbers but about finding the one right for you. It is a matter of not giving up, nor expecting miracles evernight and a damn lot of perseverance.

Catalina

 

[IsabellaSnow]

Catalina-

I have met a few quality men on alt and collarme - a few. But its like a needle in a haystack.

The country I live in is exactly as I described. Its hard to explain - but the nation as a whole takes great pride in being passive. Anything else - passion, temper,excitability, etc are literally viewed as character flaws.

Needless to say they think Im pretty flawed.

But there is not a BDSM community here. There is a small group that gathers maybe once a year but they are mostly clothes fetishists who only like to dress up and the few men in these groups are subs.

There are some dom women around, but its just for the sex industry - and they tend to be paid for their brothel services at the same time, as its quite legal here.

Regardless, Im not into the natives.

And Im not ready for the convent.

 

[IsabellaSnow]

PS - I am looking for site names here, www and all that -

Anyone got any, much obliged if you'd post them.

Thanks.

 

[Ebonyfire]

Collarme and alt are meatfests. Anyone can 'find' or 'be found' on there. Im looking for something a bit more highbrow.

That can be said for any site.

However they are only meatfests if you are only looking at the meat.

As for highbrow.

What is your definiton of high brow?

 

[SweetDommes]

Personally, I like collarme - we've made quite a few friends there.

As for how long it's taking, a rather eloquent young male at collarme posted something once, and I'll steal it shamelessly (with his permission of course LOL)

If you want a car, it's easy to find ...
If you want a blue car, it gets a smidge more difficult to find ...
If you want a blue Chevy, it gets a little more difficult to find ...
If you want a blue Chevy with less than 70,000 miles on it, even more difficult to find ...
If you want a blue Chevy with less than 70k miles on it, with power windows, power and heated seats, 5 disk cd changer, and all the other bells and whistles ... it's nearly impossible to find.

Same with finding a relationship
If you want a man/woman - relatively easy to find
If you want one that is into bondage (or other kink) gets more difficult to find
If you want one that is into D/s and BDSM more than just as a 'weekend warrior,' it gets a lot more difficult to find.

It's just how life is - the more specialized the search, the more difficult it is.

 

[shy slave]

Im not a sub, and Im not easily impressed.

Collarme and alt are meatfests. Anyone can 'find' or 'be found' on there.

Im looking for something a bit more highbrow.

WOW

I have to say I read this and it really pissed me off.

Of course you are entitled to your opinion, but my opinion is very different.

Everywhere you go in any country you meet people who are are not the right person for you.

The way you have written that statement I have highlighted makes it appear as if you think it is a lesser relationship or the people involved are desperate if meet on either of those sites.

As for UK men, they are like most others, some good, some great, some terrible.

For the life of me I can't imagine which country in central Europe only has men who want women to lead.

I am equally confused by the comment that you are not a sub.

Why do you want a D if you are not a sub?

Some people confuse me

 

[IsabellaSnow]

Ebonyfire - Hmm. Define highbrow?? I dunno... just ..um.. highbrow. Bit more sophisticated than the typical lot of males that seem to send of form letters to every single female that logs in.

Sweetdomes - LOL, good quote.

Shy slave - Your question about my being dominant and wanting a dominant is a tangent I am not willing to address in this thread. Its too time consuming - not to mention unrelated to the OP. Perhaps another time.

Regarding Englishmen (I did not say UK and there is a difference) - I never said they were all perfect. I happen to prefer them. Much the same as I dont prefer the men of the country I live in. Im entitled to both opinions, as far as I know.

Ive clearly mentioned having used collarme and alt in the past. Which is an indication I do not look down on the sites themselves, or their purpose, but rather the massive group of men who go on there and proposition every single female they can find - and start off with "Hi, Slave, I will beat you until you cant stand up anymore and then I will force you to suck every cock in the room, including your brothers'.

I've gotten a lot of that.

Not my style.

If you are still confused, pissed off, whathaveyou, Im afraid this is as good as it gets.

 

[Netzach]

Personally, I like collarme - we've made quite a few friends there.

As for how long it's taking, a rather eloquent young male at collarme posted something once, and I'll steal it shamelessly (with his permission of course LOL)



It's just how life is - the more specialized the search, the more difficult it is.

I love that quote!

And I love my blue chevy.

 

[Netzach]

Ebonyfire - Hmm. Define highbrow?? I dunno... just ..um.. highbrow. Bit more sophisticated than the typical lot of males that seem to send of form letters to every single female that logs in.

Sweetdomes - LOL, good quote.

Shy slave - Your question about my being dominant and wanting a dominant is a tangent I am not willing to address in this thread. Its too time consuming - not to mention unrelated to the OP. Perhaps another time.

Regarding Englishmen (I did not say UK and there is a difference) - I never said they were all perfect. I happen to prefer them. Much the same as I dont prefer the men of the country I live in. Im entitled to both opinions, as far as I know.

Ive clearly mentioned having used collarme and alt in the past. Which is an indication I do not look down on the sites themselves, or their purpose, but rather the massive group of men who go on there and proposition every single female they can find - and start off with "Hi, Slave, I will beat you until you cant stand up anymore and then I will force you to suck every cock in the room, including your brothers'.

I've gotten a lot of that.

Not my style.

If you are still confused, pissed off, whathaveyou, Im afraid this is as good as it gets.

Yeah, I think if you don't want that don't go looking on a sexual/dating/adult site.

I've dealt with a lot of extremely educated men with erections. Hard ons of the elite was my thing for a long time. You have to

1. filter through a lot of the same inane HNG stuff

and

2. recognize that subtle intellect and hard ons rarely mix.

Rare is the guy of subtlety in a sexual arena. If you're that put off by having to filter idiots, you'd be better off trying to find the needles in the vanilla haystack, in my experience. I did much better filtering whatever didn't work and developing some patience in the SM world.

 

[Netzach]

I must add that the beauty of something like collarme or alt is that the smart guy who can turn a phrase stands out in stunning relief.

Also that has little to do with the quality of a potential anyhow - I know for a fact that my boy who's definitely witty and above average has no interest in internet communications, takes forever to write an email and resents it and has the lame handle and one word replies in IM's. A lot of the better people I've played with who I've met via online media first were not lighting up the screen but were very cool IRL.

 

[shy slave]

Ebonyfire - Hmm. Define highbrow?? I dunno... just ..um.. highbrow. Bit more sophisticated than the typical lot of males that seem to send of form letters to every single female that logs in.

Sweetdomes - LOL, good quote.

Shy slave - Your question about my being dominant and wanting a dominant is a tangent I am not willing to address in this thread. Its too time consuming - not to mention unrelated to the OP. Perhaps another time.

Regarding Englishmen (I did not say UK and there is a difference) - I never said they were all perfect. I happen to prefer them. Much the same as I dont prefer the men of the country I live in. Im entitled to both opinions, as far as I know.

Ive clearly mentioned having used collarme and alt in the past. Which is an indication I do not look down on the sites themselves, or their purpose, but rather the massive group of men who go on there and proposition every single female they can find - and start off with "Hi, Slave, I will beat you until you cant stand up anymore and then I will force you to suck every cock in the room, including your brothers'.

I've gotten a lot of that.

Not my style.

If you are still confused, pissed off, whathaveyou, Im afraid this is as good as it gets.

I am still confused and pissed off but that can't be altered only increased.

The field narrows even further if you don't want the men of the country your are in, don't want men on a pay and non-pay site and don't want Scottish, Welsh or Irish men.

I have two ex husbands both of whom are english, they were both a waste of space, but I can parcel them up and send them to you if you wish.
See this as a 'buy one, get one free' offer.

 

[Evil_Geoff]

There is one rather obvious solution no one has mentioned yet.

Relocate to a country that has a BDSM scene more to your liking.

Germany has a huge fetish community, as do Austria and France and England.

The US and Canada have pretty decent Scenes too. And I don't recall having a dick pick on MY collarme profile, nor do I demand submission from anyone and everyone... I will, however, gladly accept it if genuinely offered. And I supose it wouldn't kill me to get out to the opera, ballet or symphony more often.

 

[Netzach]

There is one rather obvious solution no one has mentioned yet.

Relocate to a country that has a BDSM scene more to your liking.

Germany has a huge fetish community, as do Austria and France and England.

The US and Canada have pretty decent Scenes too. And I don't recall having a dick pick on MY collarme profile, nor do I demand submission from anyone and everyone... I will, however, gladly accept it if genuinely offered. And I supose it wouldn't kill me to get out to the opera, ballet or symphony more often.

Yes, I have to agree. What's the harm in traveling at the minimum?

When Mpls with it's sizeable and active scene feels a little cramped I head out somewhere else.

I also can't imagine what Eastern European nation is a nation of pussies, it has me intrigued. A lot of the Chicago Doms I know are of EE extraction and they're not pussies.

 

[the captians wench]

*This is here instead of the Playground because I'm only interested in finding a D*

So, I live in a country in which the natives are just not my type.

Too passive, too gentle, too happy to have a woman lead.

I'm not going there.

The expats here are mostly kids trying to find themselves.

Not going there either.

Ive looked over alt and collarme - frankly, most of the men on those sites are a bit creepy.

What's left??

Looks like I have to place an ad somewhere and hope for the best.

That, or join a convent.

Suggestions?

Preferrably something that involves a sexy Englishman...

*giggles* they're hard to find but out there.

most of my success has been luck to be honest.

I wasn't really looking and I found some kinky friends in a shop that was willing to sell costumes for me.

I wasn't looking and I found my love across the ocean looking at my pics.

I wasn't looking and found a friend who lives close and has an amazing accent reading my stories and posts.

When I was looking I found a lot of asshats and married men looking for a slut on the side.

I'm with EB, these things just take time. It's like finding a needle in a haystack, you have to do a lot of searching to find a trace of what you want. Weed out the weirdos and creeps (which the fraze "sub looking" tends to bring out) until you accendentally stumble onto some one who's free and not insane (or at least just sane enough ). Other than tryal and error I'm not sure how you expect to find anyone. Trust me if there were some magical website that hooked lonely subbies up with single wanting regonally accessable dom I's make a fortune selling the addy.