Physical Attraction

[Aphrodisiac]

First of all , I know there is more to a person then their looks ...

but what happens when you are not physically attracted to some one who truly likes you and would like to start a relationship.


Is there such thing as a nice way to tell them that you don't like them because you are not physically attracted to them ?

 

[Siren]

 

[Sixth]

First of all , I know there is more to a person then their looks ...

but what happens when you are not physically attracted to some one who truly likes you and would like to start a relationship.

It's a non-starter. Don't try.

Is there such thing as a nice way to tell them that you don't like them because you are not physically attracted to them ?

I don't think so. There's a nice tone of voice and ambience to encouarge though. It'll be impossible to escape the cliches.

 

[Aphrodisiac]

I know its sounds shallow to say such a thing ...
I know looks are not every thing but the attraction is not there ... not because they are not a good person or anything ....
there is simply no chemistry when it comes to the physical aspect.



Siren,

Find something else to say or set boundaries of only friendship without telling the person they just are good looking enough for you.

You make a good point ....


Thank you....

 

[Siren]

 

[lickerish]

This happened to me. A good friend of mine is bi.. and had discovered that I swing that way. She is an awesome person, but the attraction just wasn't there for me, so when she attempted to sleep with me, I just couldn't do it.

I had to back off, a lot, and give her some space to cool off. When she saw me, or emailed me.. I just remained kinda neutral. I could never come out and say "I'm sorry, I'm just not attracted to you. Let's just be friends" Ouch.

 

[Susano]

I believe our "true selves" isn't some disembodied personality floating over our left shoulder somewhere, it includes our bodies, minds, actions, etc. So I'd approach it the same as any other relationship somebody else wanted but I didn't: casually create some distance, trying to be as gentle and kind as possible, and if possible giving the person a reason that would be most acceptable to them.

 

[Aphrodisiac]

I know I would never hurt a person's feelings by telling them I don't find them physically attracted , just like Siren pointed out ... if the roles were reversed and some one were to tell me they did not find me physically attractive it would hurt my feelings ...


lickerish ,

I just remained kinda neutral.

That is what I am trying to do... I want to keep us as at the friendship level.


Susano,

You read my mind , those were the lines I was thinking along...

casually create some distance, trying to be as gentle and kind as possible,

 

[AusTess]

There aint no nice,easy way.



But i reckon honesty is your best option.


Short and sweet.

Then back off and wait.
If you stand too close you may get hit between the eyes with an axe.

Rejection is NEVER Taken well,i dont think.

 

[lilrosie lips]

There aint no nice,easy way.



But i reckon honesty is your best option.


Short and sweet.

Then back off and wait.
If you stand too close you may get hit between the eyes with an axe.

Rejection is NEVER Taken well,i dont think.

It isn't easy... but you don't have to say I don't find you attractive... but rather I am not attacted to you... its a small distinction but at least it saves them maybe a small bit of pride.. for I have found there is difference between finding someone physically attractive and being attracted to them physically... I have had relationships with men who where not physically attractive.. but found that they attract me none the less.... and conversely I have found some esthetically pleasing to look at but have had no attraction to them...

 

[Susano]

But, Austess, you're the epitome of physically attractive. If somebody actually is kinda unnattractive, it can hit them harder when they're told it, point-blank and blunt.

 

[AusTess]

It isn't easy... but you don't have to say I don't find you attractive... but rather I am not attacted to you... its a small distinction but at least it saves them maybe a small bit of pride.. for I have found there is difference between finding someone physically attractive and being attracted to them physically... I have had relationships with men who where not physically attractive.. but found that they attract me none the less.... and conversely I have found some esthetically pleasing to look at but have had no attraction to them...

Sadly i usually have the opposite problem.

I can find something sexually attractive in most people.

More often than not,Once i'd fucked them I'd have to shoot them.

cos while i may be sexually attracted,that goes away after a while.


I NEED MENTAL STIMULATION DAMNITT.



Am i off topic now?

 

[Aphrodisiac]

There aint no nice,easy way.



But i reckon honesty is your best option.


Short and sweet.

Then back off and wait.
If you stand too close you may get hit between the eyes with an axe.

Rejection is NEVER Taken well,i dont think.

Tess,


You rock ... * but I am sure you already knew that .... *


You made me laugh out loud....

 

[AusTess]

But, Austess, you're the epitome of physically attractive. If somebody actually is kinda unnattractive, it can hit them harder when they're told it, point-blank and blunt.

Epitome;
A Typical or perfect example of it's kind.
You haven't seen me after a hard night.
Or a long day.
Or an early mornin.
Or when i'm pre menstrual.
post menstrual.
Mid menstrual.



Anyways,I reckon you do no one any favors by softening the blow.

If you get hit with a tonne of steele,but have a pillow on your head,is it gonna hurt any less?

 

[AusTess]

Tess,


You rock ... * but I am sure you already knew that .... *


You made me laugh out loud....

Yep.
I knew that.



but i still like to be told.
Ha.


I'm a rocking epitome.

 

[*bratcat*]

 

[Saint Peter]

Have you tried getting really drunk? I know I have slept with many women I normally would not have in that condition.

 

[mistressastra]

I think I'd prefer the person to give me hints, like mentioning someone they are involved with (lie if you have to) and how much you value their "friendship" (as opposed to anything more) and other little things. I couldn't just come out and say that I am not physically attracted to someone. I would nicely let them know that they may be a friend but nothing more.

 

[AusTess]

I guess you are no longer crushing me now that I am old, eh?

When did you get old?

 

[Laurel]

Looks aren't everything. Neither is intelligence, wit, charisma, musical taste, taste in books, etc. All are part of the whole package. If one aspect of the package spoils it for you, then it's not right for you.

That said, I'm not sure what's to be gained by out right telling someone that they're unattractive to you. If you didn't like him because he was rude or because of the way he dressed - for a reason that he could change - then telling him could help him. However, we all are pretty much stuck with our physical features. I'm not sure hurting his feelings and ego is a fair or right thing to do.

Just tell him you don't "click" with him. That it's not anything he's doing - you just don't feel the right chemistry. If he pushes for more, keep repeating the same thing.

 

[Parkay]

I admire the fact that you don't want to hurt your friends feelings. I can see you are between a rock and a hard spot. I would say to just keep telling them what a good friend they are, and how you could not imagine how life would be without such a good friend as them. And tell them that you love them like they were family. That you can share things with them you can't share with your own family, so that makes them even more special.
I am assuming that this would be true. You do not want to spare their feelings over attraction to them, only to turn around and lie. Just modify what fits in your situation. Good Luck.

 

[Rambrat]

More often than not,Once i'd fucked them I'd have to shoot them.

cos while i may be sexually attracted,that goes away after a while.

GAWD...you're such a softy!

 

[Aphrodisiac]

Have you tried getting really drunk? I know I have slept with many women I normally would not have in that condition.

Uh ' ... I don't know about that drunk thing.




And, you stop getting drunk , ya hear'...