Pimp Your Lit Ride

[LusterMunky]

Inspired by Paul Chance, here is your Chance to pimp out your boyfriend/girlfriend/Lit playmate/crush/ (sure, try sneaking THAT through MS Word) or any gurl not named Gracie or SuzAnne

I will start out the Pimp Festivities by pimping out Kat73. Kat is from a large breasted North American species, raises chickens, likes to macramé ben wa balls, is housebroken, and cums in full throated dulcet tones. Among her hobbies, she lists fucking, blow jobs, fucking, hand jobs, and fucking.

I hereby pimp out Kat. Enjoy.

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

somebody's feeling better!

 

[BradBigBrain]

Inspired by Paul Chance, here is your Chance to pimp out your boyfriend/girlfriend/Lit playmate/crush/ (sure, try sneaking THAT through MS Word) or any gurl not named Gracie or SuzAnne

I will start out the Pimp Festivities by pimping out Kat73. Kat is from a large breasted North American species, raises chickens, likes to macramé ben wa balls, is housebroken, and cums in full throated dulcet tones. Among her hobbies, she lists fucking, blow jobs, fucking, hand jobs, and fucking.

I hereby pimp out Kat. Enjoy.

How much?

 

[Kat73]

How much?

For you, baby, just some rubs and jalapenos!!

I'll be back shortly to pimp someone out!

 

[LusterMunky]

How much?

Dear Mr. Brain:

If I recall correctly, which I seldom do anymore, you have punched out your Kat Kard (Five Fucks Get One Free!) so you should be good to cum and go. It is our pleasure here at Lit Pimps to generously reward our repeat customers. I will forward your inquiry to Elli and Honey Buns in our Loyalty Department to confirm, and they/she/it will confirm your Freebie, which will arrive via USPS last month.

Thank you for contacting Lit Pimps.

Lit Pimps Five Fucks Get One Free promotion cannot be transferred, sold, or in anyway monetized, nor can it be used to fuck multiple Lit gurls for a combined offer

 

[BradBigBrain]

For you, baby, just some rubs and jalapenos!!

I'll be back shortly to pimp someone out!

Back rubs? Ass rubs? Titty rubs? Clitty rubs? I got 'em all.

He may not have all his facilities intact (to quote JD Salinger), but the parts of him that still work still work well. He's got an active imagination (like him imagining that I fuck everything that walks...OK well he's not too far off the mark), he's been kicked out of more facilities than you can imagine because of his tendency to be like an octopus when nurses are around. Don't mind the fur...it rinses off in the shower.

I present to you..the one the only...LusterMunky. He's cheap and easy and can be had for a song. Literally a song.

 

[BradBigBrain]

Dear Mr. Brain:

If I recall correctly, which I seldom do anymore, you have punched out your Kat Kard (Five Fucks Get One Free!) so you should be good to cum and go. It is our pleasure here at Lit Pimps to generously reward our repeat customers. I will forward your inquiry to Elli and Honey Buns in our Loyalty Department to confirm, and they/she/it will confirm your Freebie, which will arrive via USPS last month.

Thank you for contacting Lit Pimps.

Lit Pimps Five Fucks Get One Free promotion cannot be transferred, sold, or in anyway monetized, nor can it be used to fuck multiple Lit gurls for a combined offer

See the post above you...I think Kat's working off the clock so to speak. She's bartering outside your pimpdom.

 

[elli1]

I will forward your inquiry to Elli and Honey Buns in our Loyalty Department to confirm, and they/she/it will confirm your Freebie, which will arrive via USPS last month.

munk, i have zero qualifications for that job. or any job.

 

[LusterMunky]

See the post above you...I think Kat's working off the clock so to speak. She's bartering outside your pimpdom.

Dear Mr. Brain,

We here at Pimp Central appreciate you calling our short attention span to the above referenced post on Literotica.com. We have a strict Pimpee Policy which precludes babes from initiating or otherwise engaging in any sexual activity unless we get to watch and/or listen. We will initiate an in depth investigation of this issue, and I will be forwarding your concerns to Miss Elli, who used to be in our Loyalty Department but has recently been promoted to Head Of Compliance because she has tits.

Best regards

 

[elli1]

I will be forwarding your concerns to Miss Elli, who used to be in our Loyalty Department but has recently been promoted to Head Of Compliance because she has tits.

head? head i can give, ehm, do

 

[LusterMunky]

head? head i can give, ehm, do

Dear Ms Elli:

It has been called to my attention, which doesn't take much these days, that you strive to be upwardly mobile here at our Pimpdom, as referenced in the above post on Literotica.com.

If you would like to discuss further career advancement please meet me under the bridge at midnight and bring with you the following items: (a) Duct tape; (b) no less than twelve (12) ounces of butterscotch; (c) I forgot was (c) was, just surprise me.

 

[elli1]

Dear Ms Elli:

It has been called to my attention, which doesn't take much these days, that you strive to be upwardly mobile here at our Pimpdom, as referenced in the above post on Literotica.com.

If you would like to discuss further career advancement please meet me under the bridge at midnight and bring with you the following items: (a) Duct tape; (b) no less than twelve (12) ounces of butterscotch; (c) I forgot was (c) was, just surprise me.

cool, i'll surprise you by bringing masher

 

[Thandi]

cool, i'll surprise you by bringing masher

Love me some mashed potatoes...actually eating some as we speak.

 

[elli1]

Love me some mashed potatoes...actually eating some as we speak.

*considers pimping out masher*
he comes with a sausage. literally

 

[Thandi]

*considers pimping out masher*
he comes with a sausage. literally

Hmmmm, you let me know...love bangers & mash, also toad in the hole.

 

[MSH2]

*considers pimping out masher*
he comes with a sausage. literally

I have two bags actually. Luxury Sausages. No idea what luxury is supposed to taste like, but these taste surprisingly good

 

[elli1]

Hmmmm, you let me know...love bangers & mash, also toad in the hole.

don't really mind what you put in your hole *shrugs*

 

[MSH2]

Hmmmm, you let me know...love bangers & mash, also toad in the hole.

Hey now! last time we tried toad in the hole some poor nurse spent all afternoon rummaging in there to find it again

 

[Thandi]

Hey now! last some we tried toad in the hole some poor nurse spent all afternoon rummaging in there to find it again

Well no wonder, look at the size of it!

https://encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRGN7cfdzhOPCLq7NLX57c8Z8LFJBVWS3ZabGexqIBaVLSps87N

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

We will initiate an in depth investigation of this issue, and I will be forwarding your concerns to Miss Elli, who used to be in our Loyalty Department but has recently been promoted to Head Of Compliance because she has tits.

what is this? elli gets promoted 'cause she has tits? well, what are these hanging down the front of my ribcage? they ain't mashed potatoes!

 

[LusterMunky]

what is this? elli gets promoted 'cause she has tits? well, what are these hanging down the front of my ribcage? they ain't mashed potatoes!

Dear Ms. H. Buns:

We here at Pimp 'n' Bump LLC take seriously any allegations of gender discrimination so allow me to respond personally re: your above referenced post on Literotica.com

As you stated in said post, referring to your bosoms, "these are hanging down the front of my ribcage". Allow me to point out, as evidenced by pictures subpoenaed from Mr. Masher, that your reference point(s) to Miss Elli's bosoms are not, in my opinion, relevant to your scurrilous and groundless allegations since Miss Elli's bosoms do not "hang around" her ribcage. Evidence will show that Miss Elli's bosoms are quite perky, full, well rounded, and have not previously been employed to nurse countless little grunt rats.

Please be advised I'm prepared to call an expert witness(s) to compare your bosoms to those (delightful) bosoms in the possession of Miss Elli.

Having said that, I will forward to Ms. Thandi your complaint in the hope of an equitable and just settlement. Ms. Thandi, our Canadian VP of Boobies, is an expert in this (these) issues, having one (won) an harassment claim against me (me) in a recent bosom(s) case. Ms. Thandi also has her pussy in the deep freeze so perhaps you will receive a better reception from her than I, particularly since I am wandering around with my trouser(s) are down around my ankle(s) as I seek to give you a prompt reply.

Best regards

 

[37_ttej]

For you, baby, just some rubs and jalapenos!!

I'll be back shortly to pimp someone out!

Rubs with jalapenos!

Wow, you're hard, Boss!

No wait, I'm hard; you're hot

Literally, if your joy button loves the chillis!

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

Dear Ms. H. Buns:

We here at Pimp 'n' Bump LLC take seriously any allegations of gender discrimination so allow me to respond personally re: your above referenced post on Literotica.com

As you stated in said post, referring to your bosoms, "these are hanging down the front of my ribcage". Allow me to point out, as evidenced by pictures subpoenaed from Mr. Masher, that your reference point(s) to Miss Elli's bosoms are not, in my opinion, relevant to your scurrilous and groundless allegations since Miss Elli's bosoms do not "hang around" her ribcage. Evidence will show that Miss Elli's bosoms are quite perky, full, well rounded, and have not previously been employed to nurse countless little grunt rats.

Please be advised I'm prepared to call an expert witness(s) to compare your bosoms to those (delightful) bosoms in the possession of Miss Elli.

Having said that, I will forward to Ms. Thandi your complaint in the hope of an equitable and just settlement. Ms. Thandi, our Canadian VP of Boobies, is an expert in this (these) issues, having one (won) an harassment claim against me (me) in a recent bosom(s) case. Ms. Thandi also has her pussy in the deep freeze so perhaps you will receive a better reception from her than I, particularly since I am wandering around with my trouser(s) are down around my ankle(s) as I seek to give you a prompt reply.

Best regards

WHO sent you those pics of aforementioned perky tits??

yeah. that's what i thought.

also, i think i should get extra credit for milk.

 

[Little_Sister]

http://cdn.someecards.com/someecards/usercards/1297920005888_3998113.png

 

[Kat73]

Rubs with jalapenos!

Wow, you're hard, Boss!

No wait, I'm hard; you're hot

Literally, if your joy button loves the chillis!

You know... I have actually began to... um, pet the clitty after working with raw jalapenos. Let's just say that a cold milk compress removed any trace of the serious fucking burning pain!!!

As for my pimping...

Missy Wild Honey is everything her name suggests. Wild and crazy (took me sex toy shopping the first time we met after which she inhaled a large piece of meat and buns and sucked a frothy liquid from a large straw...) and sweet as the ice cream brownie we contemplated ordering after dinner. Oh... And contrary to popular belief, her brestacles are rather perky and quite scrumptous. I know first hand as I poked them at said first meeting!

(She is gonna kick my butt Saturday if we get to hang out!!)