Please be kind...

Good Morning Cats

I just wanted to say that I want you very bad!!!!!! My unit is stiff and waiting for you right now. Just think how much I could pleasure your sweet body.
:p :kiss: :kiss: :kiss: :heart:
 
Re: Good Morning Cats

unit113 said:
I just wanted to say that I want you very bad!!!!!! My unit is stiff and waiting for you right now. Just think how much I could pleasure your sweet body.
:p :kiss: :kiss: :kiss: :heart:


Morning hon......now I won't be able to think about much else.....mmmmmm.....:kiss: :kiss: :p :p
 
Good morning {{{{{{{{{{{{Cats}}}}}}}}}}}} :kiss: How are you doing sweetie?

Any special plans for the upcoming weekend?
 
kayte said:
Good morning {{{{{{{{{{{{Cats}}}}}}}}}}}} :kiss: How are you doing sweetie?

Any special plans for the upcoming weekend?

((((((((Kayte))))))))) I'm doing.....hmmmmmm special plans......only a little pic session maybe and maybe Shreik will get his nephew. I would like o have a party but everybody I want to invite lives too far away......
 
tallguy78 said:
Good morning, cats!

Good morning sexy.....glad you came by.....did you browse or just stop by and if you browsed did you see anything you liked?
 
arkavatar said:
Sure though there won't be any sleeping going on:devil: :kiss:

There wasn't anyhow...at least with you there it would be a fun time to stay awake.....
 
A kid gets a job in a small department store. On his first day, the manager shows him around, and explains that the company policy was to sell a product, with a product.
The kid looked confused...so the manager said he would show him what he meant. Now, it just so happened that a customer approached the manager and asked if they sold grass seed. "Certainly", pointing to the wide range of seed boxes, "and what sort of lawn mower would you like?" The customer looked baffled, so the manager went on "Well, you will sow the grass, the grass will grow, and you will need a lawn mower to cut it", "I hadn't thought of that", says the customer, "I'll take the lawn mower as well then"...and the customer leaves the store happy.
The manager then looks at the kid and says "Now do you understand our policy?" to which the boy replies "Yes...it's good" Just then, a bloke walks into the store. The manager says to the kid "Go on, you can deal with this guy". So the kid asks the bloke if he can help. "Yes" replies the guy hesitantly, "Do you sell tampons, as I need some for my wife."
"Certainly", pointing to a shelf with tampons, "and what sort of lawn mower would you like?" The customer looked baffled and the manager's face dropped, so the kid went on "Well, the weekend's f*cked...You may as well cut the grass"
 
arkavatar said:
I'm usually available for a chat (IM's, webcam) if that would help:kiss:

I'll keep that in mind.....now I think I'm going to try to nap again...it wouldn't be so bad if I didn't have to work tonight.....:kiss: :kiss:

I will be checking your webcam out as soon as I get a chance though
 
catsr2wild said:
I'll keep that in mind.....now I think I'm going to try to nap again...it wouldn't be so bad if I didn't have to work tonight.....:kiss: :kiss:

I will be checking your webcam out as soon as I get a chance though

Ok hope you get some sleep:kiss: :kiss:
 
rotflmao

I hurt something laughing at this!!!!!!!!!!!! I think I know this guy!!!!!

Last weekend I spied something at Larry's Pistol and Pawn that tickled my fancy. (Note: Keep in mind that my "fancy" is easily tickled). I bought something really cool for Nell. The occasion is our 5th wedding anniversary and I was looking for a little something extra for my sweet girl. What I came across was a 100,000-volt, pocket/purse-sized Tazer gun with a clip. For those of you who are not familiar with this product, it is a less-than-lethal stun gun with two metal prongs designed to incapacitate an
assailant with a shock of high-voltage, low amperage electricity while you flee to safety. The effects are supposed to be short lived, with no long-term adverse affect on your assailant, but allowing you adequate time to retreat to safety. You simply jab the prongs into your 250 lb. Tattooed assailant, push the button, and it will render him a slobbering, goggle-eyed, muscle-twitching, whimpering, pencil-neck geek. If you've never seen one of these things in action, then you're truly missing out--way too cool!

Long story short, I bought the device and brought it home. I loaded two triple-a batteries in the darn thing and pushed the button. Nothing! I was so disappointed. Upon reading the directions (we don't need no stinkin' directions), I found much to my chagrin that this particular model would not create an arch between the prongs. How disappointing! I do love fire for effect. I learned that if I pushed the button, however, and pressed it
against a metal surface that I'd get the blue arch of electricity darting back and forth between the prongs that I was so looking forward to. I did so. Awesome!!! Sparks, a blue arch of electricity, and a loud pop!!! Yipeeeeee . . I'm easily amused, just for your information, but I have yet to explain to Nell what that burn spot is on the face of her microwave.

Okay, so I was home alone with this new toy, thinking to myself that it couldn't be all that bad with only two triple-a batteries, etc., etc. There I sat in my recliner, my dog Woodley looking on intently (trusting little soul), reading the directions (that would be me, not Woodley) and thinking that I really needed to try this thing out on a flesh and blood target.

I must admit I thought about zapping Woodley for a fraction of a second and thought better of it. He is such a sweet dog, after all. But, if I was going to give this thing to Nell to protect herself against a mugger, I did want some assurance that it would work as advertised. Am I wrong? Was I wrong to think that? Seemed reasonable to me at the time...

So, there I sat in a pair of shorts and a tank top with my reading glasses perched delicately on the bridge of my nose, directions in one hand, Tazer in another. The directions said that a one-second burst would shock and disorient your assailant; a two-second burst was supposed to cause muscle spasms and a loss of bodily control; a three-second burst would purportedly make your assailant flop on the ground like a fish out of water. All the
while I'm looking at this little device (measuring about 5" long, less than 3/4 inch in circumference, pretty cute really, and loaded with two itsy, bitsy triple-a batteries) thinking to myself, "no friggin' way!" Friggin' way--trust me, but I'm getting ahead of myself.

What happened next is almost beyond description, but I'll do my best. Those of you who know me well have got a pretty good idea of what followed. I'm sitting there alone, Woodley looking on with his head cocked to one side as to say, "don't do it buddy," reasoning that a one-second burst from such a tiny lil' ole thing couldn't hurt all that bad (sound, rational thinking under the circumstances, wouldn't you agree?). I decided to give myself a
one-second burst just for the hell of it. (Note: You know, a bad decision is like hindsight--always twenty-twenty. It is so obvious that it was a bad decision after the fact, even though it seemed so right at the time. Don't ya hate that?)

I touched the prongs to my naked thigh, pushed the button, and HOLY ********! Maaaannnnn!!! I'm pretty sure that Jessie Ventura ran in through the front door, picked me up out of that recliner, then body slammed me on the carpet over and over again. I vaguely recall waking up on my side in the fetal position, nipples on fire, testicles nowhere to be found, soaking wet, with my left arm tucked under my body in the oddest position. The dog was standing over me barking like I had never heard before, licking my face, undoubtedly thinking to himself, "do it again, do it again!" (Note: If you ever feel compelled to mug yourself with a Tazer, one note of caution. There is no such thing as a one- second burst when you zap yourself. You're not going to let go of that thing until it is dislodged from your hand by a violent thrashing about on the floor. Then, if you're lucky, you won't dislodge one of the prongs 1/4" deep in your thigh like yours truly.) SON-OF-A-***** that hurt!

A minute or so later (I can't be sure, as time was a relative thing at this point), I collected my wits (what little I had left), sat up and surveyed the landscape. My reading glasses were on the mantel of the fireplace. How did they get there??? My triceps, right thigh and both titties were still twitching. My face felt like it had been shot up with Novocain, as my bottom lip weighed 88 lbs. give or take an ounce or two, I'm pretty sure.

By the way, has anyone seen my testicles? I think they ran away. I'm offering a reward. They're round, rather large, kinda hairy and handsome if I must say so myself. Miss 'em . . . sure would like to get 'em back.
 
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