Poetry Version of "Things Done To Death"

[Angeline]

He did the same thing to me. lol Actually, I remember us talking about squirrels before he wrote that. There's just something about squirrels.
I don't want to talk to ee! It's a tragedy waiting to happen. I'll say, "Hi there" and he'll suddenly become infatuated with me and then you'll have to come to Vir... umm... I'm actually in New Mexico... and bitch slap me for putting a spell on your man. (that's just the best I can do today.)

It could happen. I'm infatuated with you, platonically.

 

[ruminator]

uh oh, trouble in river city.

Is that anywhere close to paradise?

....there's always trouble there.




Am I wrong to be a squirrel? Is there some mysterious hidden insult that allows the other wildlife to mock me behing my back?

 

[Angeline]

Is that anywhere close to paradise?

....there's always trouble there.




Am I wrong to be a squirrel? Is there some mysterious hidden insult that allows the other wildlife to mock me behing my back?

I don't think I've ever written a squirrel poem. Wait there was a line about squirrels in a poem I wrote for smithpeter, but really it was incidental. I need to remedy this but all I can think of at the moment are crass limericks about trying to whiz whilst squirrels chitter three feet away. I won't do it I tell you!

 

[WickedEve]

uh oh, trouble in river city.



Ive been to New Mexico-

The Navajos stole our honky ass car just west of Albequerque after a breakdown.

Ten miles out on I-40.

We laughed at dawn at the irony and kept driving in our second ride. Hit Mississippi by sundown.

Have you written a poem about that? I'm trying to write down everything I can about my kids and family stories. I didn't want to keep a journal. Besides, with poetry, life can sound more interesting. lol

 

[quietpoet]

And I thought this was about overused words or phrases

but really it is about primitive squirrels? ok... I am game. How about hoarding nuts? or frozen by headlights? More seriously, There was a famous writer (I forget who) who said a writer is only allowed to use the word "Beautiful" 3 times in their entire writing career. It is all about finding a better way. I think i would be happy to never again see "luscious lips" in writing again (not that I have anything against them in real life).

john

 

[WickedEve]

Is that anywhere close to paradise?

....there's always trouble there.




Am I wrong to be a squirrel? Is there some mysterious hidden insult that allows the other wildlife to mock me behing my back?

"Am I wrong to be a squirrel?" is the first line of a long lost Johnny Cash song.

 

[WickedEve]

but really it is about primitive squirrels? ok... I am game. How about hoarding nuts? or frozen by headlights? More seriously, There was a famous writer (I forget who) who said a writer is only allowed to use the word "Beautiful" 3 times in their entire writing career. It is all about finding a better way. I think i would be happy to never again see "luscious lips" in writing again (not that I have anything against them in real life).

john

luscious lips and ripe breasts and womanhood like metal jaws, yet softened by the fresh peach scent. I'm sick of seeing them all in poetry!

 

[bluerains]

off the top of my head

the most over used word ..I have ever heard ...is BLING...oooo))) lets retire it...give it back to the barbie squirrels....

 

[champagne1982]

You realize the romantic poets are to fault when it comes to cliche? If those phrase coining, metaphor painting, love-starved lemmings (close enough to squirrel?) hadn't said it first, I wouldn't be inclined to overdraw the word bank when I'm writing love poems and squirrelly sonnets.

Ode To The Squirrel

Sitting up there in the sharp needled spruce
Squirrel chitters as he hurls his daily feast
Down to land on the roof. Shook loose
from the swaying boughs. At the very least
they sound like drops of rain or giant hail
stones against the canvas canopy
of our tent; punctuated by flicks of tail
as the squirrel bounds through the tree
in endless quest for a ripe pine cone
to peel and steal those rich, oily nuts.
He sits just out of the dog's lead's zone
taunting the hound's jaw that opens and shuts
a drooling maw that can't call a truce
while a squirrel sits there and his neck's in a noose.

 

[ruminator]

That was nice to see.....had me worried for the squirrel's safety though.

I've known some smokin hot lemmings, so...close enough, in my humble opinion.

 

[Tathagata]

I saw a thread on Story Feedback about things done to death in stories. Well, some things have been done to death in Poetry. Cliché words and phrases, themes, maybe certain rhymes. Of course, I will be told that every cliché word and phrase can turn out beautifully in the right poem and in the hands of the right poet. I agree. So, I'm talking in general here. Tell me what in poetry is going to make you scream if you read it one more time! I have a long list. I am tired of reading less than mediocre poetry that is clearly written to/for luvnuts or slicklips (I made those up. If that's your username, sorry.) Just give the poem to your squeezie squirrel and spare us. Like I said, I have a long list, but I'll stop here and let you tell me what's done to death.

squeezie squirrel?


someone called you that didn't they

 

[ruminator]

Ah, poetry with a punch line. Now see what you can do with leaping fabric, or shunned squirrels, or leaping squirrels who shun fabric but totally dig used vinyl.

They are the stock car racers
of the animal world, fearless
daredevils living on the edge.

Paws spinning furiously
trying for traction, rapidly
revving their getaway

Lights flash, split second
starting line uncrossed, hurriedly
avoiding your sudden entrance

Lickety-split sideways
up a tree, but old worn
linoleum keeps those paws spinning

Winds swept downward, pushing
from your swooping broom
the stunned shunned squirrel takes off.

Sliding out of control ,taking
the second turn too wide
rolling through the fleece barricade

Mesh stretched safety net
propels the squirrely driver, straight
back toward the screaming starter.

Inevitable collision,
fatefull conclusion commenced, there
would only be one winner.

 

[CharleyH]

Ange said I wasn't allowed to talk to you because I'm too wicked. Well, she didn't say that, but I like to think maybe she did.
I wrote a squirrel poem. Haven't we all?

Well you ARE WICKED, Eve. Cliche's (thats my french accent ) are hard to see unless infront of your face in poetry ... to me. I can see them quite well in narrative. However, I believe I have a same complaint in narrative and poetry, and it has to do with BDSM. I am certain you know what I speak of! YOU DO - I DO. Dull little tales of seduction and submission. SUBS ACT, they are never passive, and the passiveness of most of those poems makes me want to SCREAM.

Then again, I never scream.

 

[Sins666]

People who make referneces, draw parrallels, use metaphors or similies..etc using the following words:

heart
moon
sky
sun
ocean
earth
Roman/Greek/Nordic Gods/Goddesses
blood
tears

Thats just to name a few. I have a VERY large dislike list when it comes to things that have been over used/abused.

 

[annaswirls]

"The Greatest trick the devil ever pulled, was convincing the world he didn't exist. "

Okay, where is this quote originally from? I know it was not Chris McQuarrie because I had it in my quote book long before he used it for Kaiser Soze. One of my little journals, where are they now??? After the movie I searched for it and found it.

I think it was a French writer.

damn I have been googling like hell and all I am getting are a zillion blogs talking about Usual Suspects.

 

[annaswirls]

I use this too much


blah blah blah
blah

I too
blah blah blah


gossamer wings
what the fuck are they and why does everyone have a personal experience with them besides me?

um lets see what else makes me stop reading a poem
I breathe you in
oh wait that is another thing I write all the time

 

[annaswirls]

Found It!

"It is the greatest art of the devil to convince us he does not exist."
~ Pierre Charles Baudelaire (1821-1867)


French poet & critic, leader of decadents, died half insane from drugs

 

[Remec]

squeezie squirrel?

someone called you that didn't they

I dunno, if I had to compare Eve to a rodent, I'd have to go with chipmunk. Cuter and with a bit more mischief lying in wait behind their eyes and in the corners of their smiles.

 

[bogusbrig]

I've nothing much to say other than writers of romantic slush poetry should either be castrated if they are male or stitched up if they are female.

I can't believe Shakespeare wrote 'Shall I compare thee to a summer's day' and has kept his reputation. For those that are not from the bard's own country, this means that the person he is comparing to a summer's day is a miserable gray windbag who will occasinally burst into sunshine to fool you into going out without your coat so she can piss on you.

OK I'm having a bad day and couldn't resist this thread.

 

[WickedEve]

I dunno, if I had to compare Eve to a rodent, I'd have to go with chipmunk. Cuter and with a bit more mischief lying in wait behind their eyes and in the corners of their smiles.

Hey! Chipmunks have fat cheeks! You're saying I have chipmunk cheeks.





Wait. Don't that have nuts in their cheeks?

 

[WickedEve]

People who make referneces, draw parrallels, use metaphors or similies..etc using the following words:

heart
moon
sky
sun
ocean
earth
Roman/Greek/Nordic Gods/Goddesses
blood
tears

Thats just to name a few. I have a VERY large dislike list when it comes to things that have been over used/abused.

Oh god! The god and goddess poems. I agree. Few work.

 

[WickedEve]

I've nothing much to say other than writers of romantic slush poetry should either be castrated if they are male or stitched up if they are female.

I can't believe Shakespeare wrote 'Shall I compare thee to a summer's day' and has kept his reputation. For those that are not from the bard's own country, this means that the person he is comparing to a summer's day is a miserable gray windbag who will occasinally burst into sunshine to fool you into going out without your coat so she can piss on you.

OK I'm having a bad day and couldn't resist this thread.

Romantic slush poetry is a fab phrase.
Shakespeare could get away with so much because at that time most words were not yet cliche. Lucky bastard.

 

[PatCarrington]

Oh god! The god and goddess poems. I agree. Few work.

i agree - god and goddess poems and references make me cringe.

but it think the other words that Sins666 points out ( heart, moon, sky, sun, ocean, earth, blood, tears ) provide a challenge to a poet, finding ways to use them that are fresh. of course they're overused. they are easy marks for doggerel.

but they are also such vital parts of us and our world, unlike the gods of mythology, that to eliminate them entirely is something i can't do.

they can be made new, if they are surrounded with the right words.

 

[Sins666]

I use this too much


blah blah blah
blah

I too
blah blah blah


gossamer wings
what the fuck are they and why does everyone have a personal experience with them besides me?

um lets see what else makes me stop reading a poem
I breathe you in
oh wait that is another thing I write all the time

gos·sa·mer ( P ) Pronunciation Key (gs-mr)
n.
1.A soft sheer gauzy fabric.
2.Something delicate, light, or flimsy.
3.A fine film of cobwebs often seen floating in the air or caught on bushes or grass.

adj.
Sheer, light, delicate, or tenuous. See Synonyms at airy.

I think gossamer is an awesome word but I also find that some people make use of it far to often. The first time I ever heard or saw the word was in a Collectible Card game called Magic The Gathering. See games can teach you things!

 

[Sins666]

i agree - god and goddess poems and references make me cringe.

but it think the other words that Sins666 points out ( heart, moon, sky, sun, ocean, earth, blood, tears ) provide a challenge to a poet, finding ways to use them that are fresh. of course they're overused. they are easy marks for doggerel.

but they are also such vital parts of us and our world, unlike the gods of mythology, that to eliminate them entirely is something i can't do.

they can be made new, if they are surrounded with the right words.

The problem is that alot of the times I see them used the same/similar way as they were used by Shakespear. Especially so with Sun and Moon. GAH! Just make me want to pull my hair out they do.