Primary Ambitions

[Miltone]

Senator Robert Holmes

"Mmm, I'll bet that they are pretty tasty as well," I hummed into the phone. My own hand began to work as if it were hers, pulling the towel open and reaching for my cock, now rising urgently upward from my body. "You know, that if I were there, I would be kissing your breasts right about now, tasting your soft sensitive skin, feeling the tautness of your nipples as I suck them up into my mouth, ... "

I could hear her sigh as I went on to describe how I would be making love to her were we together. The whispering sound of her body moving on her bedsheets continued to arouse me. My hand was moving on my cock as if it was her hand, as if it was her mouth, as if it was her pussy. Perhaps it was our interrupted encounter that made these feelings so intense, our deferred desires now enflaming our bodies.

"Mmm, Samantha, your pussy would taste so good to my tongue right about now," I sighed deeply. "Just as your tongue would be driving me crazy as you lick me up and down."

My breathing was fast and hot and deep. I had never done anything like this before, but the passion and yearning for her had prompted me to do several things I hadn't considered doing before. As I closed my eyes and heard the sound of her voice on the phone, it felt almost as if she were here in my room, with me on the bed, and my body trembled with delight.

 

[Tammi]

Samantha Davis

“Ohhhh Robby,” I let out a passionate sigh. The towel was open now, with my hand rubbing between my legs. “I can almost feel your tongue licking my pussy and sucking on my clit, it is so hard. I would love the feel and taste of your hard cock, my mouth going around you, licking and sucking you in deeper.”

I could tell by his voice and his deep breathing this was turning him on as much as it was me and added tremendously to my excitement. My hand now flicked faster across my clit and now using two fingers I pressed them inside my entrance, at first going in and out just slowly. My breathing increased while I continued telling him what I was doing imagining it was him doing it, telling him how good it would be to feel him deep inside me with my legs wrapped around him.

“Robby, I am so wet and turned on right now. I am going to cum any sec...” I whispered, my climax fast approaching, and I felt the tremors start, my body start to shake. "Ohhhhh Robby...."

 

[Miltone]

Senator Robert Holmes

“I’m right with you, Samantha,” I cried out urgently. The sound her voice, her deep sighs, and the rustling of her bedcovers told me everything about where she was, and made it easy to picture her in my mind. Imagining that it was her pussy gripping my hot hard cock hastened my own orgasm. It was a spectacular feeling, sensing the eruption surge up from deep inside me and work it’s way out, up onto my belly and chest as I lay back on the bed.

“Oh, god, Sammy, I’m coming too,” I sighed, feeling my body vent its release.

For several moments there was just the sound of our heavy breathing on the line. I could hear a quiver in her breathing and remembered the last time I was with her at such a moment and how she shook and trembled with pleasure. I ran my hand up over my body, rubbing my cum into my skin.

“Oh, my god! What a mess we’ve made here,” I chuckled. “Too bad you aren’t around to help clean it up.”

She laughed too. What a wonderful laugh! What a wonderful feeling! What a wonderful woman!

 

[Tammi]

Samantha Davis

“Yes too bad, that would probably be just as much fun.” I laughed, amazed at how at ease I was with him, especially having never done anything like this before.

We talked and laughed more for a while and finally said goodnight. I fell asleep smiling and hugging my pillow. Somehow it just didn’t make sense that feeling this good about him could be wrong, yet I knew the reality of our situation and the very obvious problems.

The entire day was busy for me Monday with meetings and appointments. I thought about Robby, but as the day progressed, I had little time to think of anything except taking care of the business at hand. In the late afternoon, I thought about calling his office, but again got side tracked and by the time I got home there was only enough time for me to shower and change before my dinner appointment.

While I showered and got ready, all I thought about was him and even though it was just one day, I already was beginning to miss him more than I cared to admit to myself.

 

[Miltone]

Senator Robert Homes

The strong gray steed below me rode hard through the underbrush ... ducking below the overhanging branches, I spurred him onward ... faster and faster ... suddenly approaching a clearing, I reined him in and slowed ... pausing at the edge, I see a sun-filled meadow, the grass high, the wildflowers abundant ... and a woman, long dark hair, a shimmering sheer gown, gathering flowers ... as I nudge my mount gently forward, she hears us and looks over toward us ... I try to duck down but she has seen us and begins to run ... we chase after her ... her frightened scream taunting me ... as I near her, I lean down to the side, arm extended, and sweep her up into my arm on onto the saddle in front of me ... her body is warm, her arm slips around my shoulder ... her look of fright changes to one of joy ... "Oh, Robby, I thought you'd never come for me!" ...

When the alarm went off at six, I stirred reluctantly from my dream and started my day. There were a whole slew of appointments early on, and an important hearing for the Commerce Committee that I chaired on repealing the single-business tax. As the day progressed I found myself caught up fully in the affairs of state. It wasn't till late in the day that I was able to call a meeting of my campaign staff. As we gathered around the conference table, I could see that Johnny had something on his mind.

"All right people, I want to hear something that I don't already know," I said in a phony officious voice, something of a inside joke among the regulars.

Missy gave her report on the polls (we were still well in the lead); Debra reported on volunteer recruiting for our outstate offices (going well); Tom reported on finances (close to breaking even, but with some major TV expenses coming up this next weekend before the vote). Johhny figeted in his seat.

"So, Johnny, I believe you have a report for me," I asked him directly.

"Won't be ready till maybe Wednesday," he replied quickly. "We're still checking on some leads and verifying sources."

That the report was delayed didn't bother me as much as the look on his face, especially when he flashed that damned official lawyer smile. But there was little time to become concerned, because he and I were off to a fund-raising dinner with a outdoors conservation organization. On the way there I had to ask him about it.

"So what gives, Johnny?" I asked once we were in the cab along with Annie, my speechwriter.

"Nothing that I can say for certain," he said nervously. "Some stuff came up and I think it's just rumor and want to make sure before I say anything."

"Rumors? What kind of rumors?"

"Don't worry about it. I'm sure it's nothing," he remarked. "Besides you have more important things to be concerned with than that."

He gestured at the speech that Annie was trying to hand me. As I took it in hand and began to review the minor changes that she had made, my mind began to wander. What sort of rumors? What about Samantha and her father's PAC or his business would give Johhny such ground for concern? Then the feelings I had for Samanta arose in me; I trusted in them, and I trusted in her. So I pulled myself back to discussing the speech and tossed the doubts from my mind.

The dinner was bland, the speech went well, and the contributions and pledges of support rolled in. It was well after midnight when I got back to my apartment. It didn't take much more than a hot shower before thoughts of Samantha began to pour into my head.

Stepping from the shower, I toweled off and tossed it aside. I pulled the covers back and sat on the bed. I wanted to say hello to her; I wanted to hear her laugh; I wanted to tell her how much she meaned to me; I wanted to hear her voice soft and gentle when she whispered me goodnight.

I punched up her number and waited for her answer. But it didn't come. Six, seven, eight times it rang before her answering message came on. The voice was hers, but it was an official voice, not the personal one I had come to love. I didn't bother leaving a message. It was late, I was tired, and my mind yearned to be back in some dreamy place where we could be together.

 

[Tammi]

Samantha Davis

I couldn’t believe how late it was by the time I finally crawled in bed. Before turning off the light I checked for phone messages, expecting, actually more like hoping, to see if the Senator had tried to call and left a message. Even if I had not been able to talk to him, I would have at least heard his wonderful voice. I was extremely disappointed and even a little hurt that after our first day back from our wonderful time spent together he had not tried to reach me.

I knew I could rationalize this out, both of us with our busy schedules, even I had found little time to make any calls. I also had to remind myself as much as I didn’t want to, that he did in fact have a wife and could very well have been with her and not able to call me. I then remembered that he had heard part of my message when we were at the ranch and wondered if maybe that was why, since he knew I wouldn’t be home.

I finally turned off the light and closed my eyes to get some sleep. My mind was having a hard time though having so many things running through it. My dinner engagement had gone well, although much later than I expected. It had been over two weeks that I had gotten together with this man, and there seemed to be no end to our conversation. He also was very charming company and I did enjoy talking with him, although he was very much a ladies man and he knew this, always speaking with a flirtatious tone that hinted of other expectations.

Of course, in the work that I did, I had gotten fairly use to this. Several times through dinner, I wasn’t sure if it was something he said or the way he smiled, but I would suddenly find myself starring at him yet thinking of Robby. In some ways, they were very similar, yet in other ways totally unalike, one of which, he was single and Robby was not.

Although I enjoyed the evening, I went home with the same feeling that I had gotten use to in the course of knowing him. It seemed that he was very good at building expectations, yet somehow they never came through, always making sure that we would get together at another time. He also never passed up the chance to discuss my work; always interested in the people I was talking with who were looking for donations, or who was looking for funding and what their projects were. He seemed very interested, yet somehow I had to wonder at his reasons behind this.

I tossed and turned throughout the night, my mind still thinking about my dinner and also about Robby. It would have been so nice to have heard his voice on the phone, but I had to remind myself that I knew from the beginning the reality of our relationship. I finally fell asleep, thoughts of Robby still on my mind.

 

[Miltone]

Senator Robert Homes

Tuesday was more of the same with meetings, legislative sessions, a campaign luncheon, and a couple of roll call votes. There was little time to think of personal matters; though I did manage a few moments to clear my mind and let the smiling face and lovely voice of Samantha Davis come through.

As I was killing some time during the roll call, I saw Branden Nofsinger, chairman of the finance committee, and was reminded of my thought over the weekend.

“Say Brandy,” I called out as I approached him. “How's the fishing up north? I hear the walleye are biting something fierce."

"Say, Bobby," he laughed as he shook my hand. "I was up there over the weekend and I caught me one this big!"

He held his stubby arms out as wide as they could reach. We both laughed at his outlandish exaggeration.

"Now, Brandy, I understand that there’s some foot-dragging going on with the recreation bill in your committee. What’s the deal on that?”

“That old thing? I guess there’s some members of my committee that are nervous about the public funding for private programs. I don’t see the support to get it out this session, and maybe not till fall after the election.”

“Those programs do a ton of good you know, Brandy,” I remarked, slipping my arm around his shoulders. “I was a hard luck kid and remember when they closed the old Boy’s Club because the money ran out. That program could give a lot of kids something to do when school lets out for the summer.”

“Well, it’s going to take some time, Bobby,” he replied. “I don’t think the votes are there.”

“Now, Brandy. I helped you out last fall with that tax cut vote. I twisted so many arms over that one, I think my wrist will never be the same.”

He laughed aloud. “You think it’s a good bill, Bob? I could pull a few votes I guess and get it up for floor vote early next week.”

“It’s a good bill, Brandy, and will do a lot of good for many kids who really need some help.”

We shook hands and moved off to other matters, but I felt good about carrying through on my little promise. It was the least I could do to help those kids I worked with over the weekend and so many others like them. I wanted to be sure to tell Samantha about it when next we talked.

The afternoon melted into evening. After an unexpected evening session debating the single business tax issue, I packed up my briefcase and headed out for the night. As I stepped down the long run of steps toward the cabstand, I realized what a beautiful evening it was, balmy but not too hot with a light breeze and some wonderful moonlight. I decided to save the cab fare and walk home. It wasn’t far and I had done so a few times before.

As I walked, I had some time to think and my thoughts went to Samantha. Where was she on this beautiful night? Was she someplace where she could be looking up at the stars like I was now? Where her thoughts drifting to the warm romantic and erotic ones that were rising in my head? My pace picked up as the thought of talking with her took form in my mind. I walked briskly the last couple of blocks and hurried up to my apartment. I rushed through my shower thinking all the time of her. Though as my hand drew the washrag over my body, I took the moment and wished it to be her hand, I wanted to feel her touch on my back and shoulders, my belly and butt, on my cock now twinging with excitement at the mere thought.

I glanced at the clock as I punched up her phone number. Only a little after eleven. Oh, please, Baby! Be there for me, I thought to myself as I heard the call go through and her phone begin to ring. I want to be there for you!

 

[Tammi]

Samantha Davis

I had an early meeting Tuesday with the board, which lasted well past lunch. During the meeting, there had been discussions about the Senator and supporting him. Most were very impressed with the reports and their findings after having done more checking on his background and things he had done up to now while in office. Although I was rather disappointed when they had rescheduled their meeting for after the primary, to make their final decision on whether or not to support him. It still looked very promising, but in light of my relationship with him, as much as I wanted to have a final decision right away, I realized if I tried pushing it now, that might start questions especially from my father considering our last discussion.

The rest of the day I spent doing much of the paper work that I hadn’t gotten around to doing in the last several weeks. It was a nice break to be able to sit in my office, enjoy the peace and quiet without having to worry about being somewhere else the rest of the day. As I went over papers, I found myself just staring out, my thoughts again on Robby. A smile came across my face, visualizing him, recalling our weekend, his voice, his kisses, his touches and as I thought about him, I felt the warm tingling feeling that I experienced with him running through my body now.

“Well you look like you are pretty happy about something, Sam. How did your weekend go with Senator Holmes?” My father asked as he walked into my office interrupting my thoughts.

“It was very nice father. The Senator was very helpful with the children and really believes in the work I am doing there. The children also enjoyed having him there.” I said, relieved that I could answer his question honestly.

“Well that doesn’t surprise me, after all he does want our support and that would put him in, shall I say, a good light with you so that you would back him. Although, I must say, considering his background and from other things I’ve learned, I wouldn’t be surprised that he actually was sincere in his help.”

“I do believe he was. It is very hard to fake concern and caring with children and they all took to him very well. I think he honestly would like to help them and others like them.”

“That is always good Sam, although by the look on your face, you seem a little too happy for it just to be about helping the children. How did your dinner go last night?” Pat Davis asked.

“Diner was very nice, but was late as usual. In fact, I think I’ll go on home early since I have nothing urgent that needs to be done today.” I said, clearing away my desk, actually wanting to avoid any more questions from him, which I could tell he knew this.

“Be careful, Samantha.” He said, with a soft yet deliberate tone in his voice. We said our goodbyes and he gave me a fatherly kiss on the cheek before I left. I couldn’t believe I was actually going to be at home before dinner, something I hadn’t been able to do in a very long time with my hectic schedule.

I spent the evening lost in thoughts of Robby, wondering what he was doing, missing the sound of his voice, the touch of his hand. My body again filled with excitement, as I drifted off to sleep early that night with thoughts of us being at the ranch making love under the stars. I was in a fairly sound sleep when I finally heard the ringing of the phone. I instinctively reached over picking it up, my eyes still closed and not fully awake yet.

“Hello.” I answered, still drowsy and half asleep.

 

[Miltone]

Senator Robert Homes

Samantha's voice sounded tired and sleepy when she answered.

“Hi, it’s me,” I said softly. “I hope I haven’t caught you at a bad time. I just wanted to tell you how much I’ve missed you the last couple of days.” I heard the rustling sound of bedcovers in the background. “Well, I won’t keep you long if you’re already in bed, though I wouldn’t mind being able to join you right about now.”

She laughed. We asked about each other’s day and I told her about touching base with Senator Nofsinger about the recreation bill. She gave me an update on her PAC committee and their delayed decision. I told her about my busy days at work and on the campaign trail; she told me about her unusual evening of luxury in being able to go to bed early. As our conversation continued, I could sense my feelings for her rise again, invigorated by the sound of her voice.

“I’m glad to hear that everything is going well with you, Samantha,” I said softly. “But there is one burning question on my mind at this hour.”

“Oh, and just what issue could possibly be bothering my favorite state senator at this hour of the evening?” she asked playfully.

“Well, this is sort of personal,” I said trying to draw out my thought. “And a little embarrassing, but I was just wondering what you were wearing.”

I heard her giggle, that delightful schoolgirl giggle that always made me laugh and then heard the stirring of her bedcovers again.

 

[Tammi]

Samantha Davis

After finally waking up and hearing his voice, I felt very happy that he had called. It touched me greatly that he had kept his promise to do something for the children, once again making me believe in his sincerity. The more we talked and I heard his soft voice, I started feeling the excited stirring in the pit of my stomach. And when he asked me what I was wearing and especially in the manner in which he did, I felt a giddy sense of arousal come over me unlike I had before.

“Oh my Senator, that is rather personal.” I said with a light teasing tone. “But since you are my favorite state senator, I guess it would be appropriate to tell you. It just so happens that all I have on are a pair of white lacey panties and a rather small white tank top that matches them.”

As I was describing my attire to him, I could hear his breathing change slightly, letting me know that I had caught his attention with my scant coverings. This aroused me even more and my voice became softer, almost to a whisper.

“In fact, Senator, the top fits nice and snug against my breasts and if you were here looking at me right now, you would be able to see my nipples right through my shirt.” Having said that, I ran my fingers across each nipple, enjoying the tingling feeling it gave me as they hardened.

 

[Miltone]

Senator Robert Homes

“Oh, my,” I said feeling the rush of excitement grow. The image that she described made my cock almost leap up from my lap. I could picture her and my mouth watered at the thought of kissing her breasts and tasting her tender stiff nipples. “I can see that you have me at a decided disadvantage, Miss Davis.”

“And just how would that be?” she asked, her voice a marvelous blend of pure innocence and flirtatious sexuality.

“You see,” I remarked, looking about myself, in the dim light of the small lamp at the side of my bed. “I’m sitting here on the side of my bed in the absolute altogether. And if you were here, you would easily see how happy I am that you’re present.”

”I don’t see that as any disadvantage, Senator,” she cooed, singing a sensual song to me.

My heart was pounding, my body yearned to be with her, kissing her, touching her, feeling her warmth and passion, and taking those next glorious steps that would lead to making love.

“It would certainly be an advantage for you, since you could easily see how long and hard my cock has grown just at the sight of you in your little lacy top and panties.”

I held the phone to my ear and lay back upon my bed completely lost in the passion of the moment. I remembered reading a report years ago, as part of a sub-committee hearing on privacy about phone sex, and had thought at the time how strange it all seemed. But now as the heat of our passion grew, and the images that we conveyed back and forth became more and more vivid, I understood the urgency of such private and personal communication. If I couldn’t be with her at this time, sharing what we had over the weekend just passed, then I wanted to share this bit of intimacy with her.

“And just how long and hard are you, Robby?” she asked, that voice of hers teasing and taunting me endlessly, the sound of her shifting on the sheets driving me mad.

“Let me say this,” I began. “Almost two hands worth and halfway between wood and rock, but not as long and hard as if you took your things off and told me all about it, what you're thinking as you do it, what I’d see, and how you feel about it all.”

At some other time I might have felt embarrassed revealing such intimate details and asking her to tell me, yet with Samantha there were no secrets, there was no hidden agenda, only this passion and desire and love, yes, damn it all, the love that I felt for her inside. I touched myself and wished that it were her hand upon me.

 

[Tammi]

Samantha Davis

“Robby, what I am thinking right now is how good it would feel to hold your cock in my hand, stroking you with my fingers, slowly coming up then moving back down.” I said, my voice light and sensual. Now more then ever, I was excited by how intimate and erotic our phone calls had become.

“If you were here and sitting in the chair that faced my bed, you would see me smiling at you, leaning against my pillows, not all the way lying down, but not completely sitting up either. You would be watching me right now with my eyes closed, caressing first my left breast, then my right. You would see me slowly run my hand across my belly lifting my shirt as I move my hand up until you could see my breasts. I feel warm all over just imagining you lifting the shirt off me, and I am running the tip of my finger very lightly across each nipple as if it were your tongue licking across each one while removing my shirt at the same time. The sensation feels so good just imagining it’s your tongue teasing each of my nipples instead of my fingers.”

“Oh baby, you are really getting to me now.” He whispered. And damn if he wasn’t getting to me big time, making me want to continue even more.

“With my shirt off now, you would see my fingertips circling each nipple until it was very erect and tingling all over as I am getting really excited. You would see my hand slowly run down my belly and my one knee bending slightly as I spread my legs. You would see how my hand gently rubs the outside of my panties and I can already feel the moisture there, imagining your hands running up my legs with an almost feather touch that feels so wonderful. You would see my hand slip inside my panties, my fingers rubbing up and down on my slit and my hips moving the more excited I became. Oh and just imagining it is your hand touching me so intimately, you would feel my excitement, my warmth and moisture.”

“Oh God, Sammy.” He whispered, his breathing much increased as was mine. I then held the phone between my head and neck so that I could remove my panties in the same way I would imagine him removing them.

“You would watch as my fingers grasped each side of my panties and slowly began pulling them down as if it were you doing it. You would see me lift my butt up pulling them down, then bending my legs and lifting them up as I took my panties completely off, where you would now see me completely naked, and even see how moist my pussy was. If you were here, I would throw the panties at you and my hand would then run up my leg and slowly spreading the folds of my pussy to rub my finger across my already hard clit. I imagine your fingers there and you would feel how wet I was and you would see how very excited I am.” My breathing was getting much faster now, as my arousal level was quickly rushing to a peak and how I wished he was actually here right now watching, doing exactly what I imagined.

There was a short silence between us, with both of us breathing hard and lost in our own imaginations. I knew I was getting very close to cumming, every part of my body tingled and shivered with the excitement of hearing him at the other end of the phone as well as my own stimulation.

“You would then see Senator, “ I spoke very soft and very slow, “ me pressing several fingers inside my pussy,” pause, a soft moan, “my thumb circling my clit, and” another pause, soft moan, “I would be imagining you, here, now, wanting you, wanting you now.”

 

[Miltone]

Senator Robert Homes

“Mmm, and you know that I want you too, Samantha,” I moaned loudly. “Do you know how much I want you?”

Every word of hers was drawing me into a maddening fit of passion and deep desire. I could easily imagine her doing as she spoke, slipping out of her skimpy little outfit, and I could just as easily picture myself responding in kind. I knew this night we could not be together, but our feelings could mingle as our words met each other’s ear, and I felt her almost as if she were with me.

“And you would feel me drop to my knees between your legs, Samantha, taking over from your fingers with my lips and my tongue, kissing you, licking you, and tasting the juice of your sweet excitement. Feel me run my tongue up and down and all around the slit of your pussy and the hard little nub of your clit. Oh, you taste so sweet tonight, Sammy. Can you feel my tongue on you, Sammy?”

“Oh, yes, Robby,” she replied, her voice a mixture of sighs and moans and the few breathless words that she could mouth for me.

“While my lips and tongue kiss and caress your pussy, feel my hands as they wander up your body, sampling every bit of soft smooth skin along the way, until they reach your breasts. Feel them, Baby, on your breasts, the fingertips tweaking your nipples, pulling at them, pinching them every so slightly. Oh, god, Samantha! How I love to make love to you like this!”

My words flew ahead of me, living on the edge of my passion. But they were no exaggeration, for I truly wanted and needed this woman. Above all others who had wandered into and out of my life, I needed this one. I could tell deep in my soul, and I continued to pour out my words as the only way of telling her of my love.

“And as my tongue touches you and tastes you and tingles you, up and down, side to side, around and around your clit, then down and deep into your pussy, feel my passion, Sammy!”

My own hand was on my cock, stroking firmly, yet imagining her hand replacing mine, feeling her lead me to her pussy, sensing the feel of thrusting up inside her.

“Oh, god, Sammy! You know I want you! You know that I need you now!”

"Oh, yes, Robby! I want you too!” she cried out.

The urgent sighs from her end of the phone told me that each word of mine had the same effect on her that each word of hers had on me.

“Feel me move inside you now, Sammy! Oh, my god, you feel so good to me tonight!”

There were no words that could describe this moment beyond her urgent sighs and my deep gasps of pleasure. I had never known a woman with such a capacity for love as this one. I could hardly bear another day without her.

"Samantha! Oh, Sammy!"

 

[Tammi]

Samantha Davis

Listening to him talk to me like this, now made me realize what my words had done to him. God how I wanted him here with me now, every fiber in my body felt on fire with desire for him. My fingers kept pushing deeper inside my pussy, faster, my thumb rubbing hard at my clit and when I again heard him call out my name it was all I could stand.

“Oh Robby, I feel you baby, I feel every part of you. My fingers are moving faster and deeper, I’m imagining your cock inside me. You feel so good, can you feel my pussy tightening around your cock. Can you feel my hips rocking against yours? ” I moaned, my breathing hard as my climax sent wave after wave of pure pleasure through my body. “Oh God Robby, I want you so much. I … “ My words escaped me, my climax so intense making it very difficult to talk as my pussy tightened around my fingers, my hips pushing up hard against them.

I could barely hear him at the other end of the phone, but I had a good idea he was experiencing the same thing as I was. Eventually as we both started calming down, I quickly realized what I had almost said to him in the heat of passion. My god, was I really in love with this man? Had I almost said that out loud and to him? And what if I had, then what? These thoughts along with many others quickly ran through my head, but then I heard his soft voice on the phone.

“Oh God Samantha, I want to see you soon.” His voice was filled with passion.

“I want to see you too Robby, I miss you very much.” I said softly, my voice letting him hear the desire to be with him in it. We talked for a while longer and finally when we were getting off the phone he let me know he would call me sometime tomorrow. We were both trying to figure out a way to get together, even if it was just for a short time.

The next morning I went to work feeling very good about him, trying to ignore the reality of our situation and just letting myself go with how I felt about him. I had several meetings in the morning, but I continually watched the clock, wondering if there was going to be any chance of us getting together soon.

 

[Miltone]

Senator Robert Homes

I tried desperately to describe my feelings and how I would be making love to Samantha at this moment. Her own words had driven me to the edge and I felt my release come hard and fast. i tried to describe it but the words failed me. Were it not for the sound of her quick and light breathing on the other end of the line, I wouldn’t have known she was still there.

As her words echoed in my mind, I could have sworn that she said she loved me. Surely I couldn’t have heard that. I wasn’t ready to admit it myself, to myself. But instead of pursuing that, we talked each other down from this incredible sexual high, our heavy breathing replaced by the light but loving repartee we had developed over the past couple of weeks. Had it only been that short a time?

We spoke of many things, small and great. Especially we spoke of getting together in the next few days and my mind raced ahead to think of when it would be possible. Not before the primary next Tuesday for certain. My, god, how I yearned for her touch, how I longed for her kiss, how I needed her love!

After we said goodnight, I pressed the end button and lay sweating and spent on my bed for several minutes, before getting up to rinse off. My head was swimming with images of her and me whirling about. Robert, you are in control of your life, I thought to myself. You will find your way through this like you have everything before now! You will find the way to be with her! I lay back down and closed my eyes, hoping soon that sleep would overcome me and sweep me away.

 

[Tammi]

Samantha Davis

The meetings during the morning kept my mind pretty much preoccupied, yet there were still moments that I would catch myself thinking about Robby. The weekend we shared had left me feeling warm and wonderful, but the last two nights, experiencing the passion for each other over the phone without even touching had me wanting him more than ever.

I knew that the feelings I was having were no longer just a physical attraction, but a very heartfelt desire for him. Just thinking about him set my heart on fire, and was so much more than a sexual craving. It scared me to think that I could so easily want to let me emotions loose, allowing myself to feel this for him when indeed the circumstances of our relationship were telling me the complete opposite.

I continued to work through the morning and early afternoon, soon wrapped up in the business at hand before I realized it was way past the dinner hour and I was not even close to finishing up my work. It was going to be another long night, and I wasn’t sure what time I would get home. My thoughts again went to him, wondering and wishing I could be spending my time with him, at the ranch, under the stars, instead of living the expected life that my responsibilities insisted I should.

 

[Miltone]

Senator Robert Homes

The swamp was fetid and dank with a fertile but putrid smell … I lead my men along the edge quietly, stealthily, each step carefully placed and taken without a sound … the half-moon night sky sheds enough light to make out the outline of the village ahead through the trees and underbrush … hand gestures tell them to spread out and keep down … VanWye gives the signal that they are in position, a low haunting whistle of a native bird … looking up and down the fire line, I see that all is ready and hear the sounds of grenade pins being pulled … weapons at the ready … take in a deep breath … smells like, smells like fear, yeah fear … this is no time to be sweating in this stinking swamp … tossing my own grenade as the signal we charge out from the underbrush … a dozen more explosions are heard … running frantically, searching through the village … a couple M16s bark loudly … just sleeping children … a light machine gun answers … more explosions … I reach the target in the center of the village … the hut next door erupts in flames … breaking in, I search the rooms … Dammit! She isn’t here! Goddammit all! She’s gone!

Then the alarm sounds and I’m pulled back into the hazy swelter of a warm late spring morning. I rolled over and wished there were just a few more minutes of slumber, but my calendar is filled to overflowing today. The morning was filled with legislative duties, a meeting, a floor session and vote. Midday was spent on the road heading to a campaign luncheon. Another urgent vote in the senate chambers in the afternoon.

By the time my staff pulls together for a meeting it’s well after 4 p.m. Everyone looks upbeat and positive with smiling faces all around the conference table, except for Johnny. The numbers are real good, the contributions are coming in, the support is growing. We discuss a couple of strategic moves to build support in the rural outstate districts. We review and joke about the TV ads that will be running over the weekend. Then lastly I turn to Johnny.

“You have a report ready for us?” I ask.

“I have a report for you, Robby,” he says with a blank look.

“Shouldn’t you share with all of us?”

“I think this is for just you, Robby,” he said resting his hand on a thick closed folder on the table in front of him.

When the other left we two alone, he turned to face me directly. “So are you ready for the scoop?” Johnny asked. His face curled up in a sly nervous smile, the kind that he wore when he was uncomfortable about what he had to say.

“I’m sitting down. Let’s run it.”

“Your Samantha Davis is the baby of the family. An older brother seriously injured in Nam. Died from complications shortly afterward.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” I said, bored quickly by hearing what I already knew. “Tell me something I don’t already know.”

“How’s this? East coast boarding school and college. Graduated near the top of her class. Business administration major. Recruited by IBM, GM, and Chase Manhattan Bank, but chose to work instead for her father. Married at twenty-five to a Larry MacGregor, nice looking major league baseball wanna be, but never made it in the bigs or in her Daddy’s heart. Daughter, Rena was born a couple years later. Apparently from what we could find out about the divorce, there was some question as to Larry’s fidelity and his spending habits. Her Papa played hardball and froze him out so a couple years later he takes off with the kid and is never heard from again. All her Papa’s money can’t find the guy or the kid.”

“Jesus. Is that all?”

“I’m getting to the best part, Robby,” he said, that nervous lawyer smile returning to his face. “Here’s the juice. In the past year she has been seen a lot around town on the arm of Richard Thompson, potentially your Democrat opponent in the November election. Apparently, the buzz is out that being single is a drawback for him and to have such a lovely woman at his side is a major draw.”

“Are you sure about this?” I asked him, deadly serious. “Are you absolutely sure?”

“Unimpeachable sources, Rob,” he said calmly but with a cold tone to his voice. “Look, I don’t know what’s going on between you two, but this report makes me think that you had better level with me.”

“Damn it, Johnny!” I swore softly, a heavy lump forming in my chest and throat. “Damn! How could I have been such a fool?”

“You didn’t spill anything private to the campaign did you?”

“Nah, nothing about that. The subject hardly ever came up. Shit!”

“Did you sleep with her?” he asked pointedly.

I only looked at him and was sure he could read the answer in my expression. I felt like a fool, but what else was new for me? Every time in my life when things started to look good and feel right, something would always come along to screw it up. I had felt so alive with her; I could sense a strong attraction, maybe even the beginning of love, and then to find this out, made my heart sink.

What could her game possibly be? Was she playing me for a fool? If so, I was certainly acting like one. Was this just some sort of setup to discredit me in the polls? The events of the weekend passed before my eyes in a blur. She had seemed so honest and open. What if it was a setup? What if someone had been snapping off pictures of us on her balcony or under the stars, or anywhere of a dozen other incriminating places?

And what about our intense phone conversations the past couple of nights? The sound of her voice when we talked made me think she was falling in love with me, certainly as much as I was with her. None of this made sense to me, but I knew at this moment, when we next we talked, it would be a different Senator Holmes with whom Miss Davis would be talking.

 

[Tammi]

Samantha Davis

I once again looked at the clock and it was only 10 minutes after the last time I checked. It was almost 11:00pm, the hope of being able to see Robby tonight had already been lost. Although I was beginning to get a bit concerned since I had expected him to call sooner and now was worried maybe something happened to him. Then I laughed, Samantha, you're just being silly. You know he is really busy with the primary coming up, quit acting like such a school girl. He’ll call, he promised and so far, he had come through on his promises.

While showering, I had kept thinking about our last phone conversation and how intimate it had become and how much I had really enjoyed that. With this now on my mind and feeling a warm tingling already, since we weren’t going to be able to see each other, I decided to put on something special, just in case our conversation was anything like the last one. I went to my closet and after several moments a big smile came across my face when I found what I was looking for. I put the sheer black lace teddy on, and even shivered with delight wondering what he would think seeing me like this. I no sooner got dressed when I heard the phone ring. My heart leapt with excitement and I quickly picked up the phone. I could see by the number on the caller id that it was indeed him.

“And is this my favorite senator, calling so late and making me wait all day just to hear his voice.” I said softly into the phone.

 

[Miltone]

Senator Robert Holmes

It was early for my recent schedule when I got home, just after ten o’clock. The man whom I saw when I looked in the mirror was far different from the one I saw the last several nights. His face was drawn and haggard, the eyes sad and droopy, the mouth caught in a frown that rivaled the most despondent clown. How could someone whom I had come to feel so strongly about turn out to be using me, manipulating me like this? I felt betrayed and hurt and pounded the marble countertop in the bathroom a dozen times.

How could I have let myself believe in this, I thought to myself. How could I have been such a fool, such a god damned fool? Here I thought for once nothing could go wrong, that my thoughts and feelings mattered with someone else, and that they knew I would give up everything for them, for their touch, and for their love.

I fell into the shower and the burning hot flash of water did nothing to help the pain I felt inside. I remembered taking her so urgently in the shower, feeling her body succumb to the passion and I longed for that feeling again.

I stumbled from the shower and knew what faced me next. I pulled a robe around my body and punched up her number a half dozen times and pressed Cancel each time. Yet I knew that I had to call her. I knew what had to be said, even though I knew for absolute certain that it was going to break my heart in the process.

Oh, god, Samantha! I love you! I said out loud to myself again and again and again. I took one final deep breath and punched up her number again. The call went through too fast and she picked up her receiver too quickly.

“And is this my favorite senator, calling so late and making me wait all day just to hear his voice?”

“Yes, it’s me, and I have only one question,” I said crisply and sternly. “Do you know Dick Thompson?”

“Well, yes I had dinner with him last night …” she began.

“If that’s the case, you should know that we are through,” I said, my hand trembling only as much as my entire body was. “I don’t know what game you’re playing, but the game I’m in is for all the marbles, and if you’re sleeping with my enemy, you’re my enemy.”

“But, Robby, I can explain …” she began, but I cut her off.

“No, Miss Davis, there is no explanation required. If the election goes as it’s headed, Dick Thompson will be my opponent in November, and if you are on his arm, you can’t be in my camp, in any way.”

I heard her draw a deep breath. Surely she must know sort of path she was treading upon.

“You can’t have it all ways, Miss Davis. Maybe your Daddy can kiss you and make it all better, but as far I’m concerned we’re through.”

The phone went silent. I could hear her breathing fast and deep.

“Goodnight, Samantha. I wish you all the very best,” I said calmly and then pressed End. I held down the key until my phone shut off.

I took a deep breath and felt my shoulders quake as my heart sank deeper into my chest. Jesus, I thought to myself. I asked you once those many years ago to deliver me, and you did, so I cannot ask again. But why? Why me? Why now?

I fell back onto the bed helplessly, knowing that this would be a long, lonely sleepless night.

 

[Tammi]

Samantha Davis

I sat still holding the phone in my hand long after I heard the dial tone staring at it, somehow thinking maybe this was a dream. Surely the man I had just spoke to was not the same man I had become so close to. Someone who filled almost every waking thought I had, who even had found his way into my dreams as I slept.

I felt as if I had just been blasted with cold air from the artic while I was sitting on a beach in Hawaii. Why was he so angry, why didn’t he give me a chance to explain? I’m sure he knows people I don’t particularly care for either, but to behave like this. And why? How could I be so wrong as to think he was a compassionate, fair, honest and decent man when he refused to even hear what I had to say? Did he not realize how I felt about him, could he not tell that?

I finally put the phone down, and sat at the edge of the bed still trying to get over the shock of what had just occurred. I picked the phone back up several times and started to dial his number, but canceled. Explain this to me Robby, I wanted to tell him. Explain what just happened and why you did this, kept running through my mind. Just give me one good reason for not hearing me out, is that so much to ask for. All these thoughts kept going through my head, but I finally put the phone back down. The tears had already begun to run down my face and I knew I could not say the things I wanted to, not now, not like this.

I glanced down at what I had on and realized how foolish I had become to dress like this for a phone call. Finally I could hold the tears back no longer and I fell against my pillow, weeping as if the world had just come to an end, feeling the same sorrow I had felt the day my daughter was taken from me.

 

[Miltone]

Senator Robert Holmes

I dozed lightly, restlessly and found myself wide-awake at two in the morning. I looked at the empty space in my bed and remembered how I had once wished it to be filled with her, with Samantha. I pushed myself up from the bed and stood by the window. From my apartment I could look out over the park and see the streetlights still twinkling through the trees. I felt a nervous energy inside me, like something was trying to get out of me. Many times a good long walk would help me sort things out so I slipped into a pair of shorts and a t-shirt and rode the elevator down to the street.

Walking briskly along the nearly deserted streets and trail through the park gave me a chance to be alone with my thoughts. Just as events of the past week had taken me to a wonderful place I had once thought I could never get to again, now events seemed to have taken everything away over night.

As my pulse began to elevate and the sweat started to roll down me, my first thoughts were of Samantha; I couldn’t escape my feelings for her. In a matter of a few days I had fallen in love with this marvelous woman, one with whom I could easily spend the rest of my life. Surely she must have been able to see it in my eyes, hear it in my words, feel it in the way I touched her and kissed her and made love to her ... yes, made love to her!

My brisk walk had turned into a trot as I followed the trail along the river. So what was her game anyway? Was she serious about him? What could he possibly offer her? I knew Dick Thompson well enough to know that he was hardly her type. So why would she do this, how could she be with him when she seemed so much to want to be with me? Was it maybe that after meeting me she found she had no feelings for him and was going to break it off? I stopped in my tracks. If that is the case then I have made a terrible mistake. My heart sank even lower at the thought. What a fool I was now for not even letting her explain. There was probably a perfectly reasonable explanation and I didn’t even give her the chance.

I began to run again, my thoughts turning to my family. I had spoken with my kids a couple of times over the past few days and knew that I missed them. I would be home with them over the weekend and make some campaign appearances with their mother and them on Sunday. Was it worth trying to resurrect that relationship? The thought made me laugh and cringe. I knew that part of my life was over and we were just playing out the string. Maybe it was the hurt and loss from that failure that pushed me so strongly to be with Samantha.

But then I shook my sweaty head. Oh, it was something much more than that which drew me to her. It was the woman, her looks, her intelligence, her feelings, and her sensibilities, all wrapped up together. But as long as she was with Dick Thompson and I was with my wife, we could never truly be together, not the way I wanted, probably not the way she would want it either.

As I worked my way across the park, the campaign began to loom in my head. The next few days were almost endless. A trip out state tomorrow and into Friday would consume my time and energy. The rest of Friday and all day Saturday were booked with rubber chicken luncheons and factory hand shakings and VFW baby kissing opportunities. Sunday would bring the obligatory family-oriented church going appearances. Monday would be a combination of it all, a whirlwind of speeches and photo ops and last minute flesh-pressing. For that I was so well prepared; I hated it but knew it was necessary and was ready; for these other things I could hardly find my way.

I was caught in a dead run now through the streets, my pulse racing, the sweat pouring out of me, my thighs pumping madly, and my body tingling with energy. So with all of these things facing me for the next few days, why were my thoughts so consumed by this woman, this silky dark haired beauty with the sparkling deep dark eyes and the smile that made my heart melt? Seeing a familiar sign I stopped suddenly and looked around. This was her street. This was her building. I lifted my shirt to wipe the sweat from my brow. Oh, god, why can I not get her out of my mind?

I was not a fool to fall in love with her (I would have been more of a fool to not have); I was a fool for not trusting her and showing her that trust by listening. And after what I said would she even want to talk to me? What had made me snap like that, and maybe ruin the best thing that had ever happened to me? I smacked my hand on the brick façade of her building. Damn!

Catching my wind again, I started back, retracing my steps, trying to lose myself in the darkness of the quiet city streets.

 

[Tammi]

Samantha Davis

The next morning, having been up most the night in tears, I was not surprised at what I saw when I looked in the mirror. Not only did my face look all red and puffy, but my heart ached for Robby. If he had just given me a chance, things would have been so much different this morning. I started throwing cold water on my face and getting ready for my appointments of the day. I actually felt like canceling them, but that wouldn’t change what I felt nor what had happened.

As I was deciding what to where, I swore to myself, remembering I had a lunch appointment with Richard. Of all days to have to meet him, I thought to myself and considered canceling, but I knew he would not like that at all considering he had said that we were having lunch with several other people that he wanted me to meet. He also made sure to emphasize that he had gone through a lot of trouble to arrange the luncheon.

I made a quick call to one of the company drivers, letting him know what time to pick me up. Usually I didn’t mind taking a cab from appointment to appointment, but today I just didn’t feel like dealing with that hassle. After getting dressed, wearing a tan business suit, skirt, jacket and white blouse, I had several minutes before the driver would be there. I thought about calling Robby, wanting so much to hear his voice telling me it was all just one bad dream, but I knew it wasn’t. Damn Robbie, if only you would have let me explain!

As the morning progressed, my mind couldn’t help but think of him, trying hard to understand what was going on. Sure I could understand what he may have thought or what it may have looked like, knowing I was seeing his opponent. If I were in his shoes, I probably would have had a lot of concerns and questions, but I would have asked. The more I thought about him, the more my heart ached, and I finally decided to call him. Maybe he had cooled off by now and would be willing to hear me out. If he really felt the way I did, surely he would give me a chance to explain.

I made the call in the car on the way to my luncheon with Richard. Why did I feel like such a traitor now having lunch with him now? What ever could Robby possibly be thinking when I thought for sure he knew how I felt about him. When I finally got my call through, I once again was taken aback when I was told he was not accepting my calls and I could give his secretary any information regarding my organization and she would give it to him.

“Please inform Senator Holmes that Miss Davis called and someone from our organization will call him by the end of next week to inform him our decision to support him. There is no need for him to return my call. Thank you.” I said, my voice having gone cold and completely business. I hung up, angry and hurt at the same time, a hundred thoughts racing through my head.

Damn you Robby! How dare you treat me like this after what we shared! Was that all just part of your plan to win my vote? To sway my opinion in favor of you to the board? Did I mean that little to you that you can so easily blow me off and not even take my calls?

“We’re here Miss Davis.” The driver said as he pulled up to the restaurant. He parked and opened my door for me to get out. “What time would you like me back to pick you up or would you like me to wait for you?”

“Thank you, Harry, but Mr. Thompson will give me a ride back to the office afterwards and I won’t be needing you the rest of the day.” I told him as I got out of the car, noticing Richard now approaching with a smile on his face. I took his arm and he escorted me inside where we were to meet the others.

 

[Miltone]

Senator Robert Holmes

Johnny met me in the doorway that connected our suite of rooms at the Hilton. All around us were campaign workers, friends, several legislative colleagues, well-wishers, hangers-on, and so many others no one could keep track, and frankly no one cared. The excitement had been building throughout the afternoon, yet those of us in the brain trust had remained calm, waiting for just this moment. As the polls closed at seven o’clock and the returns began to roll in, there was no doubt that tonight this state belonged to State Senator Robert L. Holmes.

“Come on, take a look at this,” Johnny said, slipping his arm around my shoulders.

Birmingham Mayor Lyle J. Pickleberry, my nearest challenger was on the TV at his subdued headquarters at the Marriott announcing his concession and extending his congratulations.

“This is it, big guy,” Johnny said. “The last of them. It’s yours, Baby!”

I stood there impassively, letting the news sink in. I had announced my candidacy nearly eighteen months ago. And now we were just one step from the prize. One very big step, but for this moment, as I took another deep breath, a smile did curl my lips.

“What’s the matter, Rob? You should be jumping through the roof!”

“We’ve got a long way to go, John,” I said. “A long way.”

“Can’t you ever enjoy yourself? This is a great victory!”

“Who won on the other side?”

“Dick Thompson. Who else?” Johnny replied. “Lucky bastard. Now he gets to see what a real campaign is all about.”

I looked at him closely and our eyes met. He was obviously excited and I knew how hard he had worked for this. He had done a marvelous job of choreographing the last days of the campaign. And here we stood just one step away from Washington. I reached out and looped my arms around his shoulders and we embraced, slapping each other on the back.

“Thanks, John, for everything,” I said.

“You bet,” he replied, as we backed off. “And just think, by November you’ll be able to drop that ‘State’ from your title and replace it with 'U.S.'!”

I held up my hand with my fingers crossed. “Don’t jinx me, old friend.”

“They’re waiting for you downstairs, anytime you’re ready. Annie has one helluva speech written for you.”

“She is the best, but you know, but I want to wing this one,” I said feeling so many thoughts well up inside me.

He laughed and we began to move through the rooms, shaking hands, receiving congrats, making our way out through the pressing crowd. It felt almost like we were in a parade. And this was only a damn primary. What would it be like if we won the general election in November?

An elevator ride down, a stroll through several hallways and then into the Cordoba Room. They showed me the way to the podium and I took my strides slowly and carefully. As the congratulations overflowed, I began to smile. This was a victory, everyone should be happy. I should at least look happy.

There were several aides and party officials to shake hands with. Music was blaring. There was lots of shouting and the great loud sound of applause. And next to the podium stood Allison, in all her blonde icy blue-eyed splendor.

“Congratulations, Honey,” she said, placing a cool kiss upon my cheek.

I stood tall behind the podium, cracked my trademark smile and dragged my hand back from my forehead, combing back that damned errant lock of dark hair that kept falling into my eyes.

“Thank you,” I said and repeated several times while the cheers and applause continued. I finally held up my hand and waved it. “You know, I don’t want to take too much of your time, because so many of you have worked so hard for this, I want to leave you all with enough time to celebrate.”

They cheered and congratulated each other and I went on. I accepted the concessions of my primary opponents and congratulated them on a great campaign. I thanked the voters who had turned out in the oppressive heat to vote. I thanked my campaign workers for their devoted help. And then, when I began to speak of what we had in front of us, just then, out of the corner of my eye I saw her.

Standing over to the side was Patrick Davis and his daughter Samantha. He was smiling broadly and applauding. She stood there with a polite smile on her face, but I saw a look in her eyes that bit into me and crumbled me down. I paused and when I did so, the crowd for some reason began to quiet down. For several moments I looked at her, feeling the hurt inside me, seeing the hurt on her face, and knowing nothing about how to rid us of it. I thought for a moment of how I had called her number twice and got only her voice mail message, and an odd one at that. She had never called back.

And as I felt a tear begin to glide down my cheek, I began to talk about the coming campaign and the things for which it would stand. The words rolled easily out of my mouth, words of concern for our children, words of compassion for our fellow man, and words of love for our country. At the end of each sentence, there was a little cheer and with each sentence it grew louder. And as I reached the end it had grown to a wild ovation. I may have been speaking the words for the cameras and the workers and the voters at home, but I was really directing them toward the pretty, petite little brunette in the crisp business suit, standing beside her father. I could feel my eyes moist with tears, my voice trembling with emotion, and my body shaking with passion.

“So we now have just one more step to take, a giant step that will take us all the way to Washington, D.C.!”

Cheering, applause, handshakes and kisses! And when I looked over to the side again, she was gone. And there I stood in the midst of such a great, joyful crowd, and never felt more alone in my life. This moment made me realize that all of this election hoopla meant absolutely nothing in the world if I didn't have love in my heart.

 

[Tammi]

Samantha Davis

It was another long night out and I didn’t get in until almost midnight. I was warn out not only from the days events, but also emotionally, my heart ached for Robby. It had been such a long time that I had let myself love again, and yes Samantha, admit, you loved him. Even in just that brief amount of time we were together, even knowing he was a married man, a rising politician, the odds of a future stacked well against us, I had still fallen in love with him, with the man, totally disregarding the facts.

I collapsed on the couch, closing my eyes thinking over the time we had spent together. Why had I allowed myself to do this, hadn’t even my father warned me? But even that didn’t help now, it would be so much easier if I could just push him from my thoughts, but even after all this and as angry as I wanted to be at him, I loved him and I missed him terribly. And missing him like this brought back all those memories of how I had felt when Larry took my little girl away. There wasn’t a day that went by that I hadn’t thought about Rena, even though it had been years now, I still loved her and because of that pain, I had always kept myself away from any type of relationship that could possibly be painful.

That was until now when I first walked into his office that day and felt his hand at my back. And for whatever reason, he had changed all that and I believed him. That was the thing, I still believed him even now. I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes and I knew I needed to get out of here for a while. I picked up the phone and dialed it.

“Father, I just called to tell you I’m on way out to the ranch. There isn’t anything on my schedule for the next couple days that can’t keep and I have a busy weekend ahead with the children so I thought I would get an early start.”

“What’s wrong Sam? Did your lunch with Dick go okay?” He asked, knowing me all to well.

“Fine. I just need some time to get ready for the children that will be at the ranch this weekend. Don’t worry, I will be back in time to join you Monday.” I made the conversation quick, and after quickly packing a bag, I drove out to the ranch. Several hours later I was standing on my balcony looking up at the stars, my tears flowing silently. I put my energy into getting things ready for the children and taking care of things I hadn’t had a chance to do having been so busy with my father’s work. The days passed quickly, especially when the children arrived who helped me keep my mind off Robby. But the nights were spent in restless sleep, longing for him, to hear him, to feel his touch.

Monday I had arrived home late and had little time before my father arrived and we were on our way to the primary celebration. My father had already informed me that although it wasn’t official, Robert Holmes had one the primary, which he had already figured on. We were making an appearance, considering there was every reason to believe they were going to support him in his campaign.

I watched him standing there, feeling a lump in my throat just hearing his voice as he gave his speech. I wanted so badly to run up and hug him, congratulate him, even without the obvious reasons for not being able to, there were the recent ones that had broken my heart, preventing me from doing that. God, how he looked so good up there, and I felt so proud of him, and even with the hurt I felt, I still was happy for him, he had gotten what he wanted. We left shortly after the speech.

“You’ll see him at the board meeting Wednesday, Sam. I’m certain now he will get our support.” My father said softly and patted my hand. I knew he had a good idea of what I was going through. And somehow, by the look on Robby’s face I sensed he was hurting too, but it was over now and our business would be too after the board meeting as far as I could see.

 

[Miltone]

Senator Robert Holmes

Stifling heat in the bamboo shed … thick humid haze that could be easily sliced by a machete … hands bound behind back … poked and prodded by sharp sticks … bruises and welts still rising … pushed, shoved, beaten … strapped to a chair like a criminal … waiting in the heat, hardly able to breath, till almost passing out … the door swings open, a sudden draft of fresh air … footsteps behind me … heavy fist clenching my hair, pulling it without mercy … the voice shouting … “Talk to me, Yankee Boy! Talk To Me, Fucking Yankee Boy! TALK TO ME, FUCKING WORTHLESS SLIMEBOY YANKEE!”

Thankfully, the morning after came late and I was able to roll over after another in a long series of bad dreams. For the first day in a year and a half, I didn’t have to be anywhere until afternoon. The celebration at the hotel had gone on till late, but I was in no mood for celebration. I felt drained in all ways; I had given my all to the campaign that had just been won; I had given of my heart and soul to a relationship that had just been lost.

There was an afternoon legislative session scheduled that I had to blow off because of the meeting with the Davis PAC group. And I tossed and turned and tried to lose the pain and suffering in my sleep, but the sleep brought only more nightmares and no sweet dreams of Samantha.

I went for a run in the park, I took brunch at my favorite nearby café, and I stopped to talk with a handful of neighbors who had spotted me and wanted to extend their congratulations. And not a one of them could see how I truly felt. And when I stripped down naked for my shower and stood before the mirror and looked at the reflection of the man, it seemed quite clear to me: the bloodshot, puffy eyes, the haggard face, the drawn lean look of pain as his shoulders drooped sadly.

How could I have been so stupid? How many men meet the woman of their dreams and so easily find a way to piss it all away? The hot water blasted away but the pain remained.

The car came by at two for our three o’clock meeting. Johnny was excited and pumped. And since he knew me best of all, he alone could see the pain inside me.

“You’ve got to tell me what’s going on,” he demanded. “We’ve known each other since forever and I can see there is something big and nasty eating at you.”

I looked at him, my eyes full of sorrow. “I met her, I slept with her, I fell in love with her. What more can I say?”

Remarkably, he only nodded and tried to use humor to take off the edge. “So tell me something I don’t already know.”

“Johnny, don’t you see what a fool I am? Sleeping with the goddamned enemy?”

He raised his hand to my shoulder and squeezed it.

“Do you think I’m blind? Man, I could see this happening every step of the way. I let you go because I trust you, but you’ve got to trust me on this one. And you've got to remember that you aren't in Nam any more. That is ancient history. Now, you’ve got to put this behind you and get on with it. A lot of people are counting on you.”

“But Johnny, I’m dying here,” I said. “Can’t you see? I’ve got to talk with her.”

“Well, we’ve got a meeting in forty-five minutes,” he remarked with a quick check of his watch. “I’ll try to see what I can do so that you have a chance to talk with her.”

“Look, Johnny. I don’t need your sympathy or your pity. There is something happening here that has turned my world upside down. I need to make it right,” I said, raising my hand to his shoulder. “But if you can help out that way, I’d appreciate it.”

“Yeah, right,” he said looking out the window. “So’s how about all those homeruns being hit last night?”

I looked at him and laughed. Strange. He could see right through me and he tried so hard to keep this train on track. But could he see what I felt? Could he see how I hadn’t had a decent night’s sleep since I found out that Samantha had been dating my opponent? Could he see how desperately I loved her, and how much it hurt being away from her?

The car dropped us off at their building, a tall sleek modern edifice, with luxurious appointments throughout. The Davis’s had money and spent it well, not gaudy in any way, but very elegant and tasteful.

“Right this way,” said the receptionist as she lead us down the hall toward the conference room. “The board is expecting you.”